Notlongnow - diary of a past self sabotager - no more though!

[notlongnow]

Met my friend which was nice - apart from she is the size I used to be - which was fine but then her hubby turned up as well & I felt huge as I am about a stone bigger than when I last saw them & when I do see them & am slimmer he always comments along the lines of "thank god as you were getting so big". Bearing in mind I was slim until I was 40 & then with a v stressful job plus dealing with some abuse I had as a child I have piled it on. I have known this couple for about 20yrs so was slim for most of it til last 6-7 yrs when I have gone up and down a lot (mainly up to be honest!!).

Anyway, came back had shake no 3 and am now offloading onto here - downer over - I haven't eaten but just realise the enormity of my journey!!!!

 

[notlongnow]

so day 6 today - feeling fine this morning. Was blue last night but thrilled that didnt eat anything - wasnt tempted to but in the past would have come back feeling bad and then dived straight into the biscuit tin before even I knew what was happening. So taking food out of the equation helps immensely.


Seems crazy wishing my life away but cant wait to be a few weeks in, to be settled on shakes and to have some results under my belt, I suppose at the moment it feels like a huge journey whereas when you have done a bit of it, it seems better!! Anyway, guess what, the days are going up day by day! Day 6 today, stomach definitely felt flatter as I was lying in bed this morning, especially not stuffed full of food as it would have been had I seen my friends and not been on CD! So heres to another great day Not much on today -started CD purposefully when nothing in the social calendar for a few weeks & even moved a few things back so I can get a few weeks under my belt but downside is that there isnt much to distract me today. Am working tomorrow so that will be fine but today is all free!!!

 

[Rkmriddell]

so day 6 today - feeling fine this morning. Was blue last night but thrilled that didnt eat anything - wasnt tempted to but in the past would have come back feeling bad and then dived straight into the biscuit tin before even I knew what was happening. So taking food out of the equation helps immensely.

Seems crazy wishing my life away but cant wait to be a few weeks in, to be settled on shakes and to have some results under my belt, I suppose at the moment it feels like a huge journey whereas when you have done a bit of it, it seems better!! Anyway, guess what, the days are going up day by day! Day 6 today, stomach definitely felt flatter as I was lying in bed this morning, especially not stuffed full of food as it would have been had I seen my friends and not been on CD! So heres to another great day Not much on today -started CD purposefully when nothing in the social calendar for a few weeks & even moved a few things back so I can get a few weeks under my belt but downside is that there isnt much to distract me today. Am working tomorrow so that will be fine but today is all free!!!

Am sure this forum can distract you but if not have a pamper day. Hot bath a book etc. spoil yourself!! X

 

[notlongnow]

yes amazing just HOW much time I can waste on here - better be careful otherwise I will do nothing else ............ !!

 

[Rkmriddell]

yes amazing just HOW much time I can waste on here - better be careful otherwise I will do nothing else ............ !!

Lol that makes you me and a lot of others on cd then haha x good to have people who understand where you are tho isn't it x

 

[notlongnow]

Yes quite soon it will be "step away from the site" and get on with it all those things i should be doing but I think it is vital at the beginning to keep yourself going and inspired!
I can't wait to be an inspiration to others who are starting rather than the other way round!
I have just thought how often I have put on here "I can't wait" maybe I should enjoy the journey rather than wishing it all away!

 

[notlongnow]

Well did my mini official weigh in at home as on day 7 - whoop whoop lost 10lbs!!! Not lost actually - got rid of for good.

Now I am thrilled but this does actually just take me to the weight I have been for a while but I went mad on a weeks holiday followed by hubby's 50th birthday weekend so really my journey starts here......... Am trying not to say to myself how much further I would be had I not gone so mad but as we all know that's not really helpful & I did so get on with it!!!

But hey it's a lovely day & I am 10lbs lighter than this time last week yay

 

[Rkmriddell]

Well did my mini official weigh in at home as on day 7 - whoop whoop lost 10lbs!!! Not lost actually - got rid of for good.

Now I am thrilled but this does actually just take me to the weight I have been for a while but I went mad on a weeks holiday followed by hubby's 50th birthday weekend so really my journey starts here......... Am trying not to say to myself how much further I would be had I not gone so mad but as we all know that's not really helpful & I did so get on with it!!!

But hey it's a lovely day & I am 10lbs lighter than this time last week yay

Forget te middle paragraph here. You're perfect with the top and the bottom. Lighter than last week and gone for good excellent x

 

[notlongnow]

So very impressed with myself - been at work for 12 hours faced with brownies, rocky road, freshly baked bread and even had to make sausages with caramelised onions and mustard mash & not a morsel passed my lips - yay!! Coupled with the tiredness of being on my feet for so long am mega pleased with myself!!

Day 8 here we come!

 

[Rkmriddell]

So very impressed with myself - been at work for 12 hours faced with brownies, rocky road, freshly baked bread and even had to make sausages with caramelised onions and mustard mash & not a morsel passed my lips - yay!! Coupled with the tiredness of being on my feet for so long am mega pleased with myself!!

Day 8 here we come!

Great stuff x

 

[notlongnow]

Not much to report today - had another feeling of hunger that came from emotional stuff rather than actual hunger - was bizarrely whilst discussing diets! - was with a friend who was telling me about someone else losing on a diet and I know she was telling me as a way of giving me the message that I should think about doing something about my weight. She then asked me what fitness I was currently doing - I used to do alot and also quite alot with her before she moved to Bermuda so when I said I wasnt doing anything it immediately made me feel like I should and that she was thinking "well no wonder you are that size"!! Obviously I am putting words into my head but its fine cos I was fine and without food in the equation it is quite easy to recognise when it is an emotional need rather than an actual need! I havent told anyone except hubby and kids that i am on CD and wasnt going to mention it as being very health concious I know she would have launched into how unhealthy it is and how I would regain everything within minutes of reintroducing food etc!! So I will have just have the satisfaction of seeing her either in June or August with a massive difference in size.

 

[Zest for Life]

Yes both tastes & looks disgusting! Will have to remember not to do any wide mouth laughing as people might think I am infectious!!

Woke up feeling good today tho - cant wait to be further along rather than counting everyday/minute!!

Am hoping to be completely in the swing of it by Sunday as I will be subjected to lots of baking and foodie stuff at work. I demonstrate kitchen products and have to do a brownie pan, oven liner and a range of chutney, mustard & sauces - all fairly testing but hopefully will be completely ketoed up & so will find it a breeze.

Think must be almost there with ketosis as I had that slightly wired feeling when I went to bed and woke up 5.30am wide awake - I do remember that from before so burn fat burn.......

Feel quite chuffed made it this far as I have been at home most of this week which normally would have had me going backwards & forwards to the fridge & biscuit tin every day & once i had started i wouldnt stop then swearing to not binge the next day & having the whole cycle repeated - so mini pat on back for me!!

People hate this diet don't they x
Are you going to see her or is she coming over here? X

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[notlongnow]

She's coming over here as she has kids over here so pops back every 6 weeks or so - so have worked out it's 6 weeks from now (7 on CD ) so I should look different. If it doesn't work out to meet up that time then I am hoping to be at target in August so back to what I was when I first knew her. Almost wanting to leave it til August anyway.........

 

[notlongnow]

So am bored today!!!!! Bit like a weekend for me as I worked at the weekend which kept me busy but nothing on today - jobs to do but dont fancy them!!!! Coming on here to keep me out of the cupboard and to put off doing them!!! Not good but better than eating - but really should be doing my tax return & making better use of quiet time work wise...... Off I go

 

[notlongnow]

Done a bit of tax return but the day is seriously dragging .......... Roll on bedtime! Feeling hungry but know its cos boredom not hunger

 

[notlongnow]

Day 10 - double figures yay!!! Got my CDC coming to me today as she can't do Friday so won't weigh in - will do it at home again on Sunday!

Feeling good, bright & breezy despite the weather!!

Out this morning but more tax return this afternoon so may be dropping in here again alot to keep me going!!!!

 

[notlongnow]

so day 12 today still going strong! I say that but have been finding it a bit tough but managing to stay on track! I think once I have a few weeks under my belt it will settle down (oh and a few more lbs gone will help!!) Being a very impatient person I keep looking and expecting to look different, slim even!!!!, and then am disappointed that I am not!! Anyway, it will happen fast enough on CD I know that and am not being negative am just venting on here. Hopefully in a few weeks time when I read this back I will be pleased with myself with how far I have gone - so heres to that day!!

 

[notlongnow]

My diary is so boring but going to keep going for me to read at the end of my journey or when things get tough.

Day 13 still going strong & apart from a few moments of "I've got such a long way to go kind of thoughts" I am feeling remarkably strong & up for it. Think it's because I know I am going to do it this time - I have the massive incentive of seeing people I haven't for years & who only know me slim so I couldn't bear the idea of turning up 3 1/2 stone overweight. This to me is even more of an incentive than my holiday in August as although I don't want to be fat on the beach it is only the 4 of us. So to reach target for the party I have to lose 3lbs each week - doable but only if I am 100%

I have 2 social things in (I picked a good time as cricket season has started - although rained off!- so we don't have much in the diary as there are 3 cricketers in the family - not me I hasten to add.). First one is may 18th and second one is 15th June . Other things will crop up but I will do my utmost to avoid putting anything in the diary as no one knows & I can't see myself going for dinner & just having water. So here's to 3lbs this week. WI on Monday........

 

[Rkmriddell]

My diary is so boring but going to keep going for me to read at the end of my journey or when things get tough.

Day 13 still going strong & apart from a few moments of "I've got such a long way to go kind of thoughts" I am feeling remarkably strong & up for it. Think it's because I know I am going to do it this time - I have the massive incentive of seeing people I haven't for years & who only know me slim so I couldn't bear the idea of turning up 3 1/2 stone overweight. This to me is even more of an incentive than my holiday in August as although I don't want to be fat on the beach it is only the 4 of us. So to reach target for the party I have to lose 3lbs each week - doable but only if I am 100%

I have 2 social things in (I picked a good time as cricket season has started - although rained off!- so we don't have much in the diary as there are 3 cricketers in the family - not me I hasten to add.). First one is may 18th and second one is 15th June . Other things will crop up but I will do my utmost to avoid putting anything in the diary as no one knows & I can't see myself going for dinner & just having water. So here's to 3lbs this week. WI on Monday........

I know what you mean about the long time to go nut when we're looking back it will have flown!!! You'll do great and will hit your target x

 

[notlongnow]

Thanks hun - we've got similar amounts to go so will be here together the whole way!!!