Parking across your drive!

[Medusa]

You can report suspected benefit fraud anonymously:

Reporting benefit fraud : Directgov - Money, tax and benefits

My dad was a fraud officer for the Benefits Agency (as now called) for many years and some of the stories he recounted made you shake your head in disbelief.

 

[Lucia Lucia]

well, I do use the parent and child bays and my kids are now 8,9 and 10. My middle child has ADHD and very significant mental health difficulties. If I park in a normal space he just opens the door full wide slamming it into the neibouring car and he has done this 3 times now and is very unpredictable in a car park. In the p and child spaces they are always in a much safer vicinity and our Tesco one there is walkway from these spaces which is traffic free which is much safer for me getting to and from the store. If I had a disabled badge for him I am certain I would get loads of flack as he can walk(no run, he never walks) and it is difficult to see he has a very significant disability which makes a car park quite a challenge. Sometime disability is quite hidden yet still very disabling.Maybe other shoppers see me as "wrong" using the p and c space but it's rather difficult to know what to do really.

 

[Medusa]

Sometime disability is quite hidden yet still very disabling.Maybe other shoppers see me as "wrong" using the p and c space but it's rather difficult to know what to do really.

You're right Lucia of course and I don't think anyone would begrudge you using it for one instant.

 

[ColJack]

so, your car doesn't have child locks then?

put him in the back seat and put the child locks on, then he has to wait until YOU open the door and let him out..
also beneficial so you can put a harness on him ( if he's that bad that he runs into traffic you should really have him tethered to you somehow.. )

ADHD is modern clap trap for unrully kids who eat too much junk food..
we never had it in our day and that's because we weren't being stuffed full of e-numbers and MSG..

 

[-Laura-]

ADHD is modern clap trap for unrully kids who eat too much junk food..
we never had it in our day and that's because we weren't being stuffed full of e-numbers and MSG..

Oooh, that's a bit controversial there...!!

I'm not a parent and my experiences with ADHD are few and very varied, so not really qualified to comment.. but I recently did some training on ADHD as part of my teacher training. Two things really stuck in my mind - apparently there is absolutely no scientific evidence to support a link between diet and hyperactivity disorders (make your own minds up on that one, having taught classes of 16 and 17 year olds fuelled by Red Bull and Powerade, I'm yet to be convinced there's no link..!)

The other thing that really stuck out was an argument suggesting that an overstimulating environment in childhood could be a root cause of ADHD - compare kids TV now to however many years ago when ADHD 'didn't exist' - loads of bright colours, loads going on at once, presenters running around the whole time. That's before you think about games consoles and mobiles and everything else that kids access from a young age nowadays. Just thought it was an interesting take on the 'ADHD never used to exist' thing, looking beyond diet.

Anyhoo, that's a whole other debate!!

 

[RegField]

There are lots of conditions which "did not exist" back in the good old days. That's because people didn't know about them and sufferers were not recognised.

 

[ColJack]

"ADHD" is caused by kids sitting in front of the telly watching slices of stuff crammed into nice neat condensed little packets, so they have short attention spans..
most kids with it were "brought up" by the telly.. plonked in front of it by busy parents who didn't have time or inclination to engage the kids in something time consuming like reading or going for bike rides etc.
They are hyperacticve because todays diets have more refined sugars and crap in them and their activity levels consist of however much exercise they get waving a Wii remote around..
We were fed propper food and spent most nights out playing with friends until the street lights came on, learning much needed social skills and niceties, and burning off excess energy..
Then there was discipline and respect in schools.. we knew that if we played up or talked back / mouthed off, we'd get whacked by the teacher to some degree.. kids today know that they can get away with anything and the worst they'll get is a few weeks OFF school to play more computer games..

Even the guy that "identified" ADHD says that only about 1 in 30 of those diagnosed with it actually have it as the tests are subjective and there is no set criteria for it.. ( one "test" was to get the child to push a button on a keyboard whenever there was a 1 followed by a 9 flashed on th screen.... others ask the parents and teachers to rate the child out of 5 for things like concentration.. which is subjective to say the least.. ).
A lot of doctors feel pressured into diagnosing ADHD or ADD by the parents who don't want to think that it's their fault the child is that way...
The general concensus by the medical profession is that it's better to perscribe un-needed drugs to those that only might have it, than to risk not perscibing drugs to those that do..

 

[Ruby-Dooby-Dooo]

What are you basing this on ColJack?

 

[alfsmummy11]

"ADHD" is caused by kids sitting in front of the telly watching slices of stuff crammed into nice neat condensed little packets, so they have short attention spans..
most kids with it were "brought up" by the telly.. plonked in front of it by busy parents who didn't have time or inclination to engage the kids in something time consuming like reading or going for bike rides etc.
They are hyperacticve because todays diets have more refined sugars and crap in them and their activity levels consist of however much exercise they get waving a Wii remote around..
We were fed propper food and spent most nights out playing with friends until the street lights came on, learning much needed social skills and niceties, and burning off excess energy..
Then there was discipline and respect in schools.. we knew that if we played up or talked back / mouthed off, we'd get whacked by the teacher to some degree.. kids today know that they can get away with anything and the worst they'll get is a few weeks OFF school to play more computer games..

Even the guy that "identified" ADHD says that only about 1 in 30 of those diagnosed with it actually have it as the tests are subjective and there is no set criteria for it.. ( one "test" was to get the child to push a button on a keyboard whenever there was a 1 followed by a 9 flashed on th screen.... others ask the parents and teachers to rate the child out of 5 for things like concentration.. which is subjective to say the least.. ).
A lot of doctors feel pressured into diagnosing ADHD or ADD by the parents who don't want to think that it's their fault the child is that way...
The general concensus by the medical profession is that it's better to perscribe un-needed drugs to those that only might have it, than to risk not perscibing drugs to those that do..

Coljack. That is a load of crap what you are talking. I bet they didn't have dyslexia back in your day too. What is that down to laziness??? let me tell you from someone with mental health nurse training and seeing this with my own eyes. It is a mental health issue. Small minded people like you need to either go back to the stone age or get an education.

 

[eternity]

Coljack - it's disappointing to read your most recent post because, as a parent of a child with special needs (not ADHD, but Autism and Speech and Language Disability), it's difficult to fathom how you can hold such beliefs. I find it particularly disturbing that you feel doctors are diagnosing these things because they are pressured into doing so. It actually takes a lot of appointments with lots of different professionals to get a diagnosis, and whilst I'm not saying that some children aren't mis-diagnosed, it's not the majority by any means.
I can only assume that you have read negative articles and have chosen to believe them, but as you know, you can't believe everything you read.

 

[kingleds]

Cojack- are you okay? Your daily mail style rants on this subject seem rather out of character compared to your other posts.

 

[Ruby-Dooby-Dooo]

That's what I was thinking kingleds....hence why I jumped in! I read here several times a day but don't say anything but I couldn't keep my mouth shut here!

 

[Lexie_dog]

Ahahahaha - utter tripe. Yeah because they never had things like gangs in the 50's and 60's, everyone wore shorts and played with wheels on a stick on cobbled streets, was like a Hovis advert nationwide. No-one ever got stabbed/sliced, robbed, murdered, attacked or raped until the advent of all these "made up disorders" like ADHD, Autism (probably also bad behaviour) or dyslexia (just laziness). Aye. Right.

Also in "those" days people were locked in mental institutions for learning difficulties, promiscuity and physical diabilities eg Polio etc. "Bad" Boys were sent to places like Lennox Castle for LIFE where they were instituionalised due to an inability to diagnose things like ADHD, Autism etc. They were just seen as "bad" unruly children who were uncontrollable and sent away.

For example many years ago things like PCOS would have been seen as just fat hairy women who were too lazy to eat properly/shave/exercise as opposed to a hormonal disorder which affects your whole system.

ColJacks very 'particular' views on child rearing and discipline are why he's on my ignore list, I can't see his posts unless someone else quotes them or I "unignore" them. I don't know if the man actually has children but standing on a pulpit preaching about the modern curse of mental disorder in children is a very lofty viewpoint to take unless you've walk a mile in the shoes of other people or indeed know what you're talking about. But a man who advocates smashing up childrens toys to teach them lessons in discipline and humility ranks very low on my list of parental advice I'm likely to counsel.

Similarly, is schizophernia also not had to diagnose as its based on reported symptoms from the patient? Same as depression? Same as any mental illness really? I only ask as I am not Mental Health trained so it's not my area of knowledge.

 

[alfsmummy11]

Ahahahaha - utter tripe. Yeah because they never had things like gangs in the 50's and 60's, everyone wore shorts and played with wheels on a stick on cobbled streets, was like a Hovis advert nationwide. No-one ever got stabbed/sliced, robbed, murdered, attacked or raped until the advent of all these "made up disorders" like ADHD, Autism (probably also bad behaviour) or dyslexia (just laziness). Aye. Right.

Also in "those" days people were locked in mental institutions for learning difficulties, promiscuity and physical diabilities eg Polio etc. "Bad" Boys were sent to places like Lennox Castle for LIFE where they were instituionalised due to an inability to diagnose things like ADHD, Autism etc. They were just seen as "bad" unruly children who were uncontrollable and sent away.

For example many years ago things like PCOS would have been seen as just fat hairy women who were too lazy to eat properly/shave/exercise as opposed to a hormonal disorder which affects your whole system.

ColJacks very 'particular' views on child rearing and discipline are why he's on my ignore list, I can't see his posts unless someone else quotes them or I "unignore" them. I don't know if the man actually has children but standing on a pulpit preaching about the modern curse of mental disorder in children is a very lofty viewpoint to take unless you've walk a mile in the shoes of other people or indeed know what you're talking about. But a man who advocates smashing up childrens toys to teach them lessons in discipline and humility ranks very low on my list of parental advice I'm likely to counsel.

Similarly, is schizophernia also not had to diagnose as its based on reported symptoms from the patient? Same as depression? Same as any mental illness really? I only ask as I am not Mental Health trained so it's not my area of knowledge.

All mental health issues and stigma infurarate me. I trained for 2 and half years and to think that people still think the illnesses are made up or just to cover up bad parenting is stupid.

I would love to know peoples thoughts on cancer flu etc. Are these also made up illnesses that wasn't around in the 50's??

 

[ColJack]

Dr Robert Spitzer said that up to 30 per cent of youngsters classified as suffering from disruptive and hyperactive conditions could have been misdiagnosed.

They may simply be showing perfectly normal signs of being happy or sad, he said.

'Many of these conditions might be normal reactions which are not really disorders,' he continued.

Dr Spitzer developed the bible of mental disorder classification in the 1970s and 1980s, which identified dozens of new conditions including ADD and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Since then hundreds of thousands of children have been diagnosed with ADD, a behavioural disorder linked to poor attention span, and ADHD, which adds an element of hyperactivity.

The disorders describe disruptive and restless behaviour that results in children having difficulty focusing their attention on specific tasks.

ADHD is most commonly noticed at the age of five, and as many as one in 30 British children is said to have it.

It is often treated with drugs, with Ritalin being the most commonly prescribed.

Some scientists say ADHD is a genetic disorder that does not disappear with adulthood.

But sceptics believe the diagnosis is a 'biobabble' label, which has evolved from a soundbite culture that is too prepared to medicalise anti-social human traits.

Dr Spitzer, professor of psychiatry at Columbia University in New York, now says the classification led to many people being diagnosed as medically disordered when their mood swings and behaviour were simply normal feelings of happiness and sadness.

In a BBC2 documentary series The Trap, which begins on Sunday, he says that between 20 and 30 per cent of mental disorder diagnoses may be incorrect.

His admission comes as figures show that the amount spent by the Health Service on drugs to treat ADHD and similar disorders in children trebled to £12 million in just five years, from 1999-2003.

Almost 400,000 British children aged between five and 19 are believed to be on the drugs - despite doctors' fears about side-effects.

That is the equivalent of every child in Britain each taking more than four doses of the drugs every year.

NHS guidelines recommend drug treatment for the most severely affected, although there have been reports of cardiovascular disorders, hallucinations and even suicidal thoughts.

There have been at least nine deaths reported to the UK's Medicinesand Healthcare products Regulatory Agency since Ritalin became available in the early 1990s.

But Dr Spitzer, who chaired the taskforce that compiled the international Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, said he is less concerned by wrong diagnoses and possible side-effects from drugs, than failing to prescribe them where needed.

'By and large the treatments for these disorders don't have serious side effects,' he told the Times Educational Supplement.

'I mean, some do, but they're not that serious, whereas the failure to treat can often be very hard on the child and on the family.'

He acknowledged that some parents put pressure on doctors to diagnose ADHD and obsessive-compulsive disorder, and prescribe drugs.

'We don't know to what extent that's been happening inappropriately,' he added.

Ian Graham, headmaster of Slindon College, an independent boys' boarding school near Arundel, West Sussex, has 20 out of 100 pupils diagnosed with attention deficit disorder and a few more with related diagnoses such as oppositional-defiant disorder.

About 17 of the boys are prescribed drugs including Ritalin, while the remainder have their condition controlled through diets that exclude chocolate, sweets or gluten.

The school also employs therapy techniques, and the old-fashioned tactic of getting pupils to run off their energy in outdoor activities.

Mr Graham said: 'I've never met a parent who is happy with the medication. They would all prefer not to use them, but to a man and woman, they all say they can't believe the change in their sons' ability to concentrate in lessons

From an interview with the doctor that literally wrote the book on mental disorders..

I did read the figures wrong, it's 30% wrongly diagnosed, not 1 in 30..

one of several articles I read all saying pretty muchthe same thing..

No I don't have children but why does that make me less "qualified" to read articles about something medical and make an opinion of it?
I'm as entitled to my opinions as you are and because I actually voiced my opinon on a subject doesn't negate those of other people.

 

[*EB*]

I think this topic should be closed now - it has changed into a different topic from the OP's original one.

 

[ColJack]

I will un-susbscribe from it and cease to post on the subject as I can see that my views are at odds with the general concensus...

 

[Surfhunny]

Just bringing this back to the original subject.... My neighbours have two cars and one is constantly parked across the front of my house, so he doesn't block his own drive... There's still room for him to park in front of his own property. It means that when I have visitors they have to park away from my house. I've given up asking him to pull forward when I'm expecting visitors, he usually tells me I don't own the road in front of my house. I told him neither did he.

Anyway karma has a funny way of dealing with things because one windy winter one of my roof tiles blew off my house and made a right mess of the side of his car he he. He tried to get me to pay for the damage, but I explained that if he hadn't been parked in front of my property his car wouldn't have been damaged!! What could he say to that?? Still hasn't learned though

 

[lauratrev]

Id block his drive ^^^^

 

[Surfhunny]

Ha ha I'd thought of that but my car is too long and it'd block his neighbours drive too. I've taken to just parking on my front not up the drive if his car isn't there. I'm sure there's no law that forces me to park on my drive.