RD's life diary: I'm back (sort of)

[Russiandoll]

Things are getting really boring ... on the diet front at least. After having SS'd for most of last year, Im finding it a real struggle this time around. I've stuck to my guns (well, the odd slice of cooked chicken but deffo no carbs) and have lost 16lb - not brilliant in month one but not a disaster.

Last night, I had a small tin of tuna sprinkled with a few ground chilli flakes followed by a CD mousse. I don't feel bad about it - it filled me up, gave me something to chew and was a different flavour / texture to enjoy.

I might step up to something akin to the 790 with a bit of protein to chew on in the evening when I want / need it. If it means I lose 12lb per month instead of 14 then that's a compromise I'm prepared to make for the sake of my sanity and taste buds.

I'm definitely NOT deviating from the CD principles though and not a crumb of bread will pass my lips!

 

[Russiandoll]

How strange ...

1. I had some tuna for dinner followed by a mousse (OK)
2. I didn't have carbs (Good)
3. I feel really full (great?)

Why then, if ever I feel full, do I automatically feel guilty?? It's like I 'must' feel empty / hungry to feel 'good' and feeling full or satisfied is somehow wrong. Feeling full also makes me feel instantly 'fatter'.

What a crazy mind I've developed

 

[Barb]

Hmm, that'll be those mind games again. I think you should try the 790/1000 plan Debbie. It is perfectly reasonable (dare I say normal) to want to eat real food. I know what you mean about 'fullness' feeling bad, but you have to remind your head that if it's good food thats been eaten then fullness is the desired effect!

I don't have all the answers, but what I do know is that there is a way forward for all of us, it's just finding it. You know carbs spell disaster for you - good, you leave them alone. You naturally lean towards healthy proteins etc - good, eat them then.
You have to stop banging your head against this SS wall; trying the 790 seems like the perfect option to me, you have no problem with the packs a couple of times a day and then you can have a nice meal, of protein and veggies in the evening.

You have done so well in the last month, but of course you being you, want more! Chill out Debbie, it's not a race, if you can do it more gently it will take longer but ultimately you will still get there, without so much trauma along the way.

Wishing you all the luck in the world, I know how badly you want this, so give the 790 a go. SS is one way not the only way!

Lots of love

 

[Russiandoll]

You're a very wise woman Barb. If it's what my body (and mind) is asking for and it isn't carb-loaded, fat-loaded junk food, then how can having a small protein meal actually be 'wrong'?

I think maybe I'll shift over to 790 and see how it goes. It DID feel good to sit and savour the tuna last night - and the mousse after was yummy. I felt like I'd had a proper meal and all thoughts of food vanished for the rest of the evening (usually, I'd be a bit resentful that everyone else had eaten a proper dinner and I'd sit there 'wishing' I could have this or that)

I want to lose the weight (and I know I need to for my health) but I don't want the process to be utter torture.
CD works for me - I like the structure and I know I'm getting all the nutrients my body needs so I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater ... 790 is a good compromise.

 

[kandy]

Hi Debbie,
790 sounds like a good way to go it will be great if it keeps you on the straight and narrow. You have to go with whatever works for you.
It's a downside of cd that it makes you feel like a social outcast sometimes. So if a small meal makes a difference it's great, as we know from experience it could be so much worse.

Take care and well done luv Julie xxx

 

[pandora]

hi Debbie,
missing your wonderful input, where are you, hope all is ok
xx

 

[jane]

Well, another Monday, another weigh-in and just a measly 2lb down

Yes, I'm in the 15s .... yes, it's in the right direction but 2lb in 2 weeks? It just makes it extra tough to carry on with such a rigorous regime.

I know I had KFC (minus chips) on Saturday night but, again, people on WW or SW eat similar over the course of a week and achieve the same (or even more) as I have over the last 2 weeks.
Hey Hey RDcalm down!
you're doing fine. really well
The KFC is wrapped in carbs so the little sin was more than jusy a protein one & the lowwer ecorded loos might be a consequence of leaving K for a bit ??

I'll carry on as I WANT to lose weight but I'm seriously considering moving up to the 1000 plan because then I'd be having 2 packs a day which would 'save' the packs I have left in reserve. If I'm not too much mistaken, the weight loss on 1000 is about 10lb ish per month?
Something to think about anyway.for what it's worth I'm not sure it feels the right direction for you but can't realy say why. Hels (Htpink ) I think had the same inclination.
The basic Q to ask your self is whether you want to do a ketosis based diet, or calorie counted. Which ever side you come down you need to stay there.
Hopping back & forth over this fence is counter productive.

I know you know this & you're a fully fledged egg-sucking grandma in this respect, but still wanted to say my bit.

I contacted the student loan company because it STILL hasn't come through and is what I was going to buy some CD supplies with: I have Uni books to buy and it's hubby's company 'food allowance' (he buys pot noodles or similar to live on instead of using his full allowance) that is currently paying for my fuel to get to Uni.
I rang my LEA 3 weeks ago and the guy said he'd push my case forward because of all the family problems I've encountered ... when I phoned last week, there was no record of my last call and my application was languishing somewhere near the bottom of the pile. Why do these people say they're going to do something then just put the phone down and forget it? It really winds me up

the answer to this is because they sre over worked, over stretched poorly supported by their emplying organisation & as a consequence function in a disorganised & inefficient way. Not stupid, Not necessarily incompetent & probably well meaning. Sad though isn't it? & from your point of view apallingly frustrating & painful.

Definitely keep at it! The losses on CD are a stone a month and you have done that - it all evens itself out over the weeks but it is really important to carry on and trust the diet - IMHO you need to carry on with the process of SS as i know (cos i do it too) that kidding myself i can do another plan is the first foot on that slippery slope.

You WILL lose weight, embrace the diet like you did before!!! I want to see all those dolls being revealed!!

YUP!

Hels & Barb - thanks for your support: don't know what I'd do without you. I did feel quite crap today because things seem to be going so slow but you're right ... 16lb in a month isn't so shabby.
......Far from it. & a lot more than you'd probaby have scored on WW.

At lunch time, everyone around me was tucking into jacket spuds, rolls and sandwiches (even my CD buddy who has fallen off the wagon, bless her ...) but I stuck to my bar and coffee so I'm giving myself a pat on the back for that.
On the way home I stopped at Asda to get some food for Steve & Sophie - why oh why do I always go there when they're just taking a new batch of bread out of the ovens in the bakery dept?? I could almost feel myself transform into a slavering bread-wolf! I resisted peeps, so the halo is still intact. That's beause they do it on purpose. they pump fresh baked bread smell back into the shop for precisely that reason. wouldn't put it past them to top it up with a synthetic smell for those days whenthey aren't actually baking!

I'm feeling quiet emotional at the moment and always seem to be living on the verge of tears. For the most part, I manage to swallow the tears down ... it's just not practical to keep crying.
No perhaps not. but not fair on yoursef to expect to carry on like a super-human. these anniversaries hurt & remembering themisthe correct thing to do.

Anyway - onwards and downwards as they say.

Things are getting really boring ... on the diet front at least. After having SS'd for most of last year, Im finding it a real struggle this time around. I've stuck to my guns (well, the odd slice of cooked chicken but deffo no carbs) and have lost 16lb - not brilliant in month one but not a disaster.

Remember ..you're a lot smaaller than when you were at the early stages last time!

Last night, I had a small tin of tuna sprinkled with a few ground chilli flakes followed by a CD mousse. I don't feel bad about it - it filled me up, gave me something to chew and was a different flavour / texture to enjoy.

I might step up to something akin to the 790 with a bit of protein to chew on in the evening when I want / need it. If it means I lose 12lb per month instead of 14 then that's a compromise I'm prepared to make for the sake of my sanity and taste buds.

I'm definitely NOT deviating from the CD principles though and not a crumb of bread will pass my lips!

Good !!!!!

You're a very wise woman Barb. If it's what my body (and mind) is asking for and it isn't carb-loaded, fat-loaded junk food, then how can having a small protein meal actually be 'wrong'?

I think maybe I'll shift over to 790 and see how it goes. It DID feel good to sit and savour the tuna last night - and the mousse after was yummy. I felt like I'd had a proper meal and all thoughts of food vanished for the rest of the evening (usually, I'd be a bit resentful that everyone else had eaten a proper dinner and I'd sit there 'wishing' I could have this or that)

I want to lose the weight (and I know I need to for my health) but I don't want the process to be utter torture.
CD works for me - I like the structure and I know I'm getting all the nutrients my body needs so I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater ... 790 is a good compromise.

I agree.

Hi Debbie,
790 sounds like a good way to go it will be great if it keeps you on the straight and narrow. You have to go with whatever works for you.
It's a downside of cd that it makes you feel like a social outcast sometimes. So if a small meal makes a difference it's great, as we know from experience it could be so much worse.

Take care and well done luv Julie xxx

spot on kandy.


Dear RD I hope the next few weeks are easier than the last few have been.

 

[Dibspl]

Hi Rd, just checking in to see how you are?

 

[Russiandoll]

Hi
I've been offline for the last few weeks; internet provider trouble ... boring story - now resolved.

I'm not in a good place diet-wise. The old, wildly swinging yo-yo thing. The stresses I'm dealing with haven't gone - in fact they're probably even worse so it's safe to say life is a bit cr*p at the moment.

I'm seriously considering joining Slimming World even though I don't particularly like the plan (tried it before unsuccessfully) but with no RC in the area and liking WW even less than SW AND accepting I need some kind of group support / monitoring, I can't think of anything else to do.

I think I have to accept I can't get my head into the 'CD place' time for a change of tack - now it's just a matter of 'when'. Seems pointless pre-Christmas so I might just try to tread water til then and also try to be kind to myself (probably my biggest challenge).

Hope everyone is well ... there were over 21,000 new posts since I was last here so can't look through them all.

 

[Eclipse]

Welcome back hun. Whatever you decide to do, it MUST be right for you! The important thing is to take care of yourself. Sending hugs to you darling xxx

 

[kandy]

Hiya Deb,
Nice to see you back on the boards. I know it's hard not to panic when the weight isn't shifting but i am sure you can make SW work for you, if you can be kind to yourself you are a success whatever you weigh and its great practice for when you lose the weight which i have no doubt you will !

Take care Debbie luv Julie xxx

 

[sonkie]

Hi Debbie, hope you are ok and have decided what is best for you x