Realisation

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by WelshJojo, 22 May 2011 Social URL.

  1. WelshJojo

    WelshJojo Gold Member

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    Have realised today, after failing at yet another new relationship, that I have no chance of anyone liking me-until I start to like myself! It's such a horrid feeling-and just felt the need to write it down :( as I'm feeling awful and have no one here to talk to


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    Last edited: 22 May 2011
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  3. Kankles

    Kankles Silver Member

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    Aw it's horrible when relationships end. The worst part is that it's not very often that it ends mutually and often leaves one person questioning things about themselves.

    How long were you together? Did you end the relationship?

    X
     
  4. big bear

    big bear A bear on a mission!

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    Oh hun, it's horrible when you split up from someone. I'm sure that someone special is around the corner..enjoy being single for a while & don't 'go looking' and when you least expect it you'll meet someone.

    Just want to send you {{{{hugs}}}} BB XX
     
  5. WelshJojo

    WelshJojo Gold Member

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    It was just the beginning-only about a month, but it had been going great-I guess it also gives more strength to the phrase-if something seems too good to be true it usually is! It was a weird one, cos we spoke on the phone tonight-and altho he says it's not my fault, I feel it is. It's not so much what I did, but what I didn't do apparently! I'm a very shy person, and have the self confidence of a 'thing with no confidence' so takes me a while to relax around new people! I don't wanna go into too much detail but it affects me badly sometimes and even tho he knew about it, and was fine he said it made him feel really unwanted and doesn't know if it's worth persuing! He also said that he may be scared of commitment which then is a different issue altogether so im now confused and a little bit hurt and just generally feeling cr*p :( altho he said it doesnt mean its over! So just..arghhhhhhh I dunno

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  6. WelshJojo

    WelshJojo Gold Member

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    Thanks! I think I must just have a sign on my head saying ' losers, idiots, liars and cheats this way' :(

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  7. Kankles

    Kankles Silver Member

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    It sounds like he's a little confused too. It takes time to build a bond with someone especially if you're shy, so the comment about him not feeling wanted, he should realise that those sorts of things come with trust, love & time, to bolt at the 1st hurdle is hardly going to give him the feeling of wantedness.

    I hope you feel better soon, it's not very nice especially if it's left up in the air without finality x
     
  8. Cobra

    Cobra Silver Member

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    what exactly does he mean by saying "he doesn't mean it's over" talk about messing with your head !

    I personally don't like meeting new people, it makes me anxious, so I know how that can be hard in a new relationship.

    all the best
    Lisa
     
  9. WelshJojo

    WelshJojo Gold Member

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    Thanks for your kind words, it helps me feel a bit better-altho its made me put alot of other things in my life into perspective so may end up being a good thing :s

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  10. Kankles

    Kankles Silver Member

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    Don't let him leave you hanging on a thread, that's the worst thing you should let him do to you. X
     
  11. WelshJojo

    WelshJojo Gold Member

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    Thanks-only just seen this reply! Hardly slept last night-had loads floating round in my head! Altho I'm shattered, I feel alot better today :)

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  12. *EB*

    *EB* Gold Member

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    he sounds like a commitment phobe idiot to me. Much better off without that sort of fella.

    Enjoy dating - when you are ready! x
     
  13. WelshJojo

    WelshJojo Gold Member

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    Thanks Ellebear! I just hate being on my own tho, and would love to just be happy!

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  14. louisedan

    louisedan Gold Member

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    I'm with Ellebear on this one-your too good for him!Flush him down the ty bach!!!I for one think your really friendly and helpful and I bet I'm not the only one on here.Head up, Boobs out and strut your stuff girl!!!!:banana dancer::banana dancer::banana dancer:
     
  15. kerryathome

    kerryathome Silver Member

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    Hi welshtigger,

    bless you hun, it all sounds horrible.

    If its any consolation you look gorgeous in your pic (not hitting on you or anything lol), you will be happy, you probably got it right by saying you need to like yourself though.

    Keep smiling hun someday your prince will come :)
     
  16. Tinytootz

    Tinytootz Mini crazy cat lady

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    :( It's hard, but perhaps some time on your own to discover yourself will do you some good, and build up your self confidence.

    When I recently came out of a 7+ year relationship, I'll admit, I was pretty much on the floor. But it gave me chance to realise that I am a good person WITHOUT someone just as much as with someone :) It's lovely to have someone there, but it's more important to love the person you spend every day with - yourself.

    Take some time out just for yourself. Try and see yourself in a positive light each day, and once you are feeling shiny, then someone who will treat you like a princess will come along.

    I too don't do very well on my own either, but I can now spend time in my own company without others, without feeling totally bummed out and fed up.

    Chin up. Meet up with some friends and have a good girly moan! :D xx
     
  17. WelshJojo

    WelshJojo Gold Member

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    Thank you for that-it makes a lot of sense! The other problem is that since I've been going thru rough times, I've certainly found out who my real friends are! So also need to find a way to meet new friends too :(

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  19. *EB*

    *EB* Gold Member

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    sent you a pm WT! xxx
     
  20. curvesncurls

    curvesncurls Full Member

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    Ah WT, my heart goes out to you - know EXACTLY how you feel, am there, wearing that T-shirt. Starting the weight loss journey, thought all these feelings would have improved, but guess they just have to be dealt with. Not sure how exactly - but just going out and being gentle with ourselves.
    My family have said that I've gone back to being so self-critical and down in myself, all over a guy who is so not worth it. I'm still thinking about him 7 weeks later, but realizing that I just liked the way he made me feel (in the short term) - that's the power of a charmer. Then they pull back and you feel so down. But as someone else said to me, that's his problem, trying to prove himself, not mine. (Even if it doesn't feel like it at the time!)
    Does feel like you're surrounded by couples sometimes, like everyone is loved up or else single cos they're lying cheating you-know-whats! But I'm determined to believe that there are as many nice guys out there asking where all the lovely genuine sexy curvy girls are.
    Next on the list: meet new people.
     
  21. WelshJojo

    WelshJojo Gold Member

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    Exactly! Just wish I knew where to start with the whole meeting new people thing! My big passions have always been my horses and my theatre groups but for one reason or another over the last 18months these have dropped away-along with the social side which really hammers home the whole 'knowing who your real friends are' situation! I would love to pick them bak up but can't! Mainly cos of work but also cos I don't feel I fit in any more! My confidence on stage took the beating of it's life about 7 months ago and I doubt I can pullback from it-especially not as I'm feeling at the moment :(

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  22. curvesncurls

    curvesncurls Full Member

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    A woman after my own heart! Love theatre groups, but have dropped out of the whole scene when I was studying recently. I've friends who swear by the internet - apparently it's a numbers game, but it's good for getting your toe back in the water. Hoping for the old buses theory, you start going out on dates, you get asked out on dates.
    I just wish I could get back the buzz I had about losing weight and about myself that I had before I met himself. It's trying not to replay all that happened and the what ifs, just moving on and taking things as they come.
    Someone told me "Don't look back in anger or forward in fear, just look around the present in awareness." Take a note of the good things happening, compliments and so on, and write them down for the moments you feel down.
     
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