Scared and crying? Not anymore, here is the new me! I AM BACK!!!!

[Elie]

Hi everybody!

I am sorry for having neglecting you for the past few days. I had an hectic schedule! The diet is going very well. I had my WI yesterday evening at my CDC, and I had lost 4lbs. Today is my official WI, ie the one I have every Sat morning since day 1, and guess what? Stupid BF packed my scales hastily (without worrying about it being a precision tool) and then left in overnight in the car in bloody freezing Birmingham... When I discovered that this morning I was fuming, and when I got my scales back, they were full of condensation. I tried to weigh myself but the weight changes every time: they are broken, and I know they are because usually they are very precise. So I am crying all I can right now just because I can't have my WI. I know it may sound weird to be emotional about something so petty, but this WI is my reward every week for being so good, and now I feel like I have been dieting so hard for no reward. I know it is irrational. But it is my own little tiny pleasure every week.

As a consequence, I deducted 4lbs in my ticker, because it is the minimum I lost, of that I am sure. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy with it, but I know that if my idiotic BF hadn't done what he did, I would have had an even better surprise, because my WI yesterday was in the evening with my clothes, and this morning it would have without food and naked.:cry:

So 4lbs is really great, I am really pleased, but I could slap him across the face right now, honest. And I am not a violent person. I am sure you can understand what I am feeling, even if I am overreacting

I will have to buy new scales, but I am counting the pennies at the mo :sigh:

Elie

 

[Elie]

Just realised how ungrateful and insensitive my last post sounds

I am very happy with my weight loss, and it means that next Sat I should have an even better surprise

I still struggle with the water though. As soon as I reach 3 litres, I seem to think "I can't drink anymore" :sigh: But it is only psychological: I could drink orange juice without any problem! I am currently trying to separate my water intake in pints. I have a 1 pint bottle and know that I have to drink 3 through the day, at least, and it seems to work. But it is a pain. Next week, I can have water flavouring!!!! And mix a mouss And bars!!!!!

I will try to "cook" a chocolate shake, but I am not holding my breath Have you ever tried cooking your shakes? Or is it a bad idea? I just would like to break the monotony

I am on holidays for a week (it is half term) and I can foresee that I will have a hard time. I am not worried about being tempted as I know that I won't cheat. I am worried about thinking about food all the time

I hope you are having a good Saturday.

Elie

 

[spannerpan]

Big grats on the minimum of 4lbs Elie. Do that every week for a month and a whole stone gone!!!!!

Oh and I love the GP avatar... Sooooooooo cute.

 

[Elie]

Hi people!

I feel like I need to write or I am going to become insane!

Lately, I have been down sometimes because I am craving food . I am not even hungry, but my body almost aches when I am fighting temptation! And I mean real physical pain!!! My muscles tense up and my mouth starts watering . Of course, I have not even been close to give up the diet and give into temptation, but it has put me down a little . I am not even hungry.

Luckily, while window-shopping in Birmingham city centre today, I found a great shop, called Animal, with a lot of great stuff that I am now planning on buying to wear this summer in Tahiti :character00180:. I didn't know this shop before, although it is very well-known apparently!!!!! Anyway, it is exactly the kind of comfy yet trendy clothes I like for the summer hols, albeit quite expensive. But it gave me such a boost! And I will have to seriously slim down before being able to buy something there, as they go up to size 16 (and methink it is a small size 16, labelled XXL). So now, I am still craving food (pasta, mmmh) but I have another goal in mind, and I am feeling much better .

I told my sister about the diet, and how I wanted to be able to do fun activites with her this summer, and she cried! Bless her... She was moved that I would do such a difficult diet partly for her . The thing is, my sister is very active and loves doing plenty of activities when we go on holidays. So far, we have been to so many exotic places (Kenya, mauritius, etc) and I couldn't (and wouldn't) do anything becuase I was too fat and also self-conscious. And it was torture. Now, Tahiti is probably the last exotic holidays in a long time now that my dad is retired and parents will have less money (and let's face it, I can't afford this on my own!!!), so I want to enjoy every minute of it, even the swimming with the sharks .

I am sorry to always talk about my holidays, but when it is cold, and when I am craving food like crazy, it keeps me going .

I hope you are all fine.

Elie

PS: I'd like to add that my sister was very supportive. She didn't even know about the diet, but she said something lovely: "I know you wouldn't do it if it was unhealthy". Bless her...Now I know why she is my best friend

 

[minilady]

Hi Elie

Your sister sounds lovely, it's great that she is so supportive of you and you of her

Sorry to hear the cravings have been getting you down a bit, it will get easier as the days pass, they will get fewer and a lot easier to bear.

Just keep in mind the clothes from Animal (good choice by the way) and your holiday.

I had my first holiday in my new body in January, believe me it was the best holiday ever and I was wrapped up in lots of layers and a thick coat and still felt slimmer than ever before

Tracey
x

 

[Elie]

Hi Minilady!

Thanks for your reply! My sister really is lovely. She is 3 years younger than me but we have always been very close friends . I know I am lucky. I know so many people who can't stand their siblings and simply don't care about them!

Thanks for reassuring me, re: food cravings. I have to add that I am a VERY greedy person, and it runs in the family !!!!!!! So I think that's why it is so hard for me !!! Although I don't like this English word "greedy". It makes people sound like they are doing something immoral!!!! I have a very old cousin who is a nun, and she always says that greediness is a small sin and that God will forgive us . So if she says it, it must be true :giggle:

Just had my "dinner" and I am feeling full. I have only 1 litre left to drink. I hate water .

So you know Animal too? I should really go out more often . I think it looks great on thin women, so I have to remain focus on SS .

Elie

 

[Sappho]

Hi Elie

I got a white floaty animal skirt in size 14 in the sale when I started and I hang it on my door as an incentive! Animal are nice and comfy aswell. I am sure you look great now but when you reach your goal you will prob find it easier to belive it!

Your sister sounds really special, it is lovely that you have that support and are so close.

I have a special money box, and I put (when I can afford it!) a pound in for every pound I lose, so at the end I will have a little pot to go clothes shopping with.

Good luck,

Sappho

p.s The chocolate shake cooked as a muffin I found passable, just to have a different texture. The bars are quite nice though and very filling (and they have real chocolate on the outside, yippee!)

 

[spannerpan]

Hiya Elie

Don't worry soon you will be shopping in those shops where the biggest size is a 16 - AND you will be shouting from the changing rooms - "hey do you have this in a size 12??? The size 14 is too big!"

Glad to hear your sister is supportive. It makes it so much easier when you have good support doesn't it?

I know sometimes the hunger is hard - but believe me it goes away and food really does become much less interesting. Whenever I get tempted I chant - "slim by summer, slim by summer" to myself and just imagine going on my summer holiday and wearing a nice swimming costume and not feeling embarrassed. Suddenly the cake does not seem as nice!

You are doing really well Elie keep going.

xxx

 

[Elie]

Hi Sappho!

Glad to hear from you! I can't wait for next Thursday when I will be given chocolate bars :drool: and something to put a bit of taste in my water :drool: :drool:

My sister is a very special person. I have always been very protective with her and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her . We are so different though . Physically and mentally . But don't get me wrong, there are times when we argue like 2 hapries :giggle: Usually, my mum always says it is strange to see two people being so close and then arguing over nothing :giggle:

These Animal clothes are so good. I looked on the webiste and I will deffo buy as much as I can! Great idea this 1lb lost/1lb in the bank!!!!! Thanks Sappho!!! That's why I love this site so much . People are full of resources.

On my bathroom mirrors, I write down (with a lipstick ) the total of lbs I have lost so far, and it helps so much . And I have a diet book as well, where I keep my thoughts, my stats, my pics (me, clothes, hairstyles I'd like...).

There is one thing that is weird though...So far I have lost 20 lbs 5 and I am not even 1 size down . My jeans are definitely much loser but...I am still 22 Ah well, I KNOW that it will go down . I am going to buy a cheap item of clothing (Primark or something) keep it in my wardrobe and see how my bodyshape changes.

We are all so courageous

Elie

 

[spannerpan]

Hiya Elie

I found that I lost about 2 stone before I went down a size. Part of that might have been due to the fact I was convinced I was a size 22 when really I was a 24 lol. So I needed to lose 2 sizes. But I think the bigger you are the more you need to lose to go down a size. Give it another half stone or so and I bet you will be down a size. Do you record your measurements? If so it is about 4 inches (10cm) off bust waist or hips before you have lost a size.

 

[Elie]

Thank you Anna for your support

I can't wait to ask for a size 12! You read in my mind!!!!! You know EXACTLY the kind of things I dream of saying :giggle:

Support indeed makes a huge difference. I know my parents won't as supportive, esp. my father, as in France VLCD are very rare (and we like our food ). So I will tell a white lie and say that this amazing weight loss is just due to calorie control... Which is true!!!!!! I plan on being on AAMW when I go and see them in April. SO I will eat my authorised food at lunch time and then in the evening, say I prefer having a nice soup . They can't argue with that :giggle:

I am going to try to go shopping tomorrow and see if anything smaller fits. But really I won't make a big deal out of it. I am bound to slim down. I have taken my measurements at the start and will measure myself again ASAP. I think water retention is a problem with me, and I need to drink more. My left foot is huge compared to the other one (and I am don't feel any pain). So I WILL up the water and maybe do very light exercise like I used to do before starting CD. What a programme

Elie

 

[Elie]

Hi everyone!

This is a very "goodmoddy" Elie today . But again, I am on holidays, so who wouldn't be? Only downside: it is freezing cold here, but at least my body will use more fat to keep me at the right temperature .

I plan on going out this afternoon and buy something in a size 18 to "slim into". Although I have not lost any dress size yet, I know it will happen soon and I want to experience the exhilarating (sp?) feeling of wearing something smaller .

I am going to follow Sappho's advice and put a lb in the bank everytime I lose a £. Hopefully it will mean a lump sum by the end of June . Another incentive to slim down . It is the 1st time I am so happy to be on a diet. I was thinking very hard last night, and I realised it is because for once I am feeling in control. And I can see a better future . Add to that the fact that the sun stays up for longer and you have a happy Elie .

I am more addicted to this site now that I am on holidays! BF is away until 1.30pm, so I have to go on here to occupy my mind .

I am feeling so good in my body! My ONLY worry at the moment are the spots on my chin . I don't think this is the diet, as these spots come back from time to time. But they are ugly, and I don't like putting any concealer on them. So I walk with a scarf snuggly wrapped around my neck and burry my chin in it .

I hope you all feel as good as me

Elie

 

[Sappho]

Hi Elie

It's lovely to have your bright sunny positive vibes shining out of the computer on this gloomy evening. Definitely made me smile, Thank you x

 

[Elie]

Hi Elie

It's lovely to have your bright sunny positive vibes shining out of the computer on this gloomy evening. Definitely made me smile, Thank you x

You are welcome sappho! I try hard to stay positive or it is going to make things much more difficult than they already are .

I don't know if told you the results of my shopping experience yesterday! well, as predicted, I have not lost any dress size yet, although 22 is deffo too big now (but 20 is still too small ). However, I will not get depressed over it, with all the weight that I have already lost, it is bound to show one day ! I went to Primark and bought a very nice pair of size 18 jeans that I intend to wear when going to tahiti! I tried them on at home, and they don't go past my upper thighs, so I have serious slimming down to do !!!! But I love challenges. Life would be so dull without them!!!!! I also created my virtual model online, and can see the kinda figure I will have 4st down the line: not bad at all!!!!! But I think I will look too skinny with the target weight that's on my ticker, so I may change this. I am large built and I definitely don't have a narrow frame!!!! I think BMI 24 would suit me much better. If I can upload the pics, I will show you and you can tell me what you think. I wanna keep my curves you see and I am NOT a slim person.

According to you, should I try these jeans on every week or every month? because at the mo, a week worth of 100% SS won't do much difference, and I don't want to end up disheartened .

My mum just sent me a list of the different hotels we are going to go to this summer, and they look amazing . I CANNOT go there fat!!!!!

I hope you're having a nice day

Elie

 

[spannerpan]

Hi Elie

What is this online model thing you are talking about that shows how you look at different BMIs?
I would try the jeans on every couple of weeks as then you will see a difference. I check my measurements weekly.
I too am aiming for BMI 24 but reading the comments of others on the site I think I might be happy even with 27 or so. That is still technically overweight but apparently your waist measurement is important too so if my waist was nice and small (which slimmer it might be as I have childbearing hips) then I might be happy. I haven't been slim since I was about 8 so it is so hard to know where to aim..
I definitely don't want to be thin though. Just not fat.

 

[Elie]

The virtual model is on here. You enter your current and target weights and it shows you your figure. For the Prevention one, I think you need need to register to see it. It is a great tool!!! I have been playing with it all morning

I will try the jeans every fortnight, and I will see how it goes . I have not been a size 18 in 3 years now

I think I will just let my body lose weight and then decide when to stop when I am happy with a) my health and b) my clothes. Ideally, I'd like to be a size 12, but 14 is not bad either!!!! I don't really want to be thin, as I am not suited for it (at all ). Women come in every shape and form, and we have to respect that or we are going to end up worrying about our weight all the time.

I will talk to my CDC about doing some physical activities. I may do my little gym again every evening and focus on toning my bum/thigh/belly area (and that is a HUGE area, trust me ). I think losing weight is great, but toning is also very important to be healthy and avoid nasty illnesses when we get old. But God, I hate exercising... I couldn't go to a gym, as it would be wasting money, knowing me and my laziness . same for swimming. I would like something I can do either in my own home or in my own time: walking sounds like the best thing to do!!!!

I spend even more time online looking at clothes. Especially when I am little bit hungry or think I cannot drink more water . I don't drink enough, and I KNOW it would help me lose even faster. I am now aiming at 6 pints a day. Not much, but better than nothing!!!

Elie

 

[spannerpan]

Probably me being thick but I have had a good look and I really can't see how you get on that. Which menu is it on? Can someone tell?

 

[Elie]

Oh no... I forgot the link

My Virtual Model

 

[Elie]

Hi everybody who still reads this long diary

Today is my last day in BF's student (dirty) room, yey!!!! Although, tbh, I quite liked being back to a student lifestyle (except for the dirt, of course ).

So we are back in Kent this evening, but before, we have to go and visit his mother. Now, she is not THAT terrible, but last Xmas, she made some snidey comments to me. She said she was only joking, but behind every joke there is something serious, especially when you say what she said!!!!! But because I have been well educated by my own two parents who, despite all their flaws, would never dare say something like that to Alex, I bit my tongue. Needless to say it made me cry the minute I came back home :sigh:. Never mind! Now I am in a good mood, I won't let that make me forget about how great I am feeling.

I have been on the scales this morning . I couldn't help it . It looks promising but it won't be a wooping loss like some of the girls on here . Never mind, I am still losing a lot of fat, according to the scales .

As I said yesterday, I looked online which kind of hotel we are going to go to. In all of them we are going to be in bungallows (sp?) and in one of them, we will be above the water of the lagoon (in shallow water of course!), with a little ladder/stairs to go down from the room to the water and...with a floor made of glass to see the fish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now you see understand why I WANT and HAVE TO be thin to enjoy these holidays!!!!!!!!! I have to say that now I am a bit obsessed, calculating how much I could lose by then, etc. And I know that all these guesstimation are bad, because I will always want more and more and I don't wanna end up disappointed.

Tomorrow, I see my CDC again, and I should be given bars this time and mix a mousse !!!!

Oh, and also...I have my periods!!! I know, it sounds strange that one would rejoyce at having their periods but...I have PCOS and I haven't had any period for ages. And I hope that it means that my fertility is getting a bit better .

Well everybody. I wish you a very nice day!

Elie

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Go Ellie, Love the positivity you are showing, keep hold of it!!

Youll be in those trousers sooner than you know. I do know what you mean about sizing, in the pic of me at goal I am a 14 on top and a 12 bottom, and that was spot on for me, Ive currently about 6lbs over that, and will have that off for summer, I always put some on in winter, thats fone for me as I can take it staright off again, Im never going back to where I was and you wont too, it feels like something has clicked for you, and thats just what happened with me!!

Keep posting x