:booboo: today at work and it has really put me down. Anything that breaks my routine puts me down. It has nothing to do with breaking the diet, don't worry

, I just did something really silly and I don't know what the consequences will be :sigh:. Ah well, never mind, I have to remai focus on the positive.
Now that my evil scales are of no use, I live my diet much more happily.
I have been looking at new jobs for the future, as I don't plan on living in Kent forever (unless BF has a well paid job once he starts working, I don't see us survivng here

) and so many jobs are appealing! Unfortunately, they are too far away from London and I know that my BF will have to start there, given the career he wants to have. Ah well... Maybe in a few years, once we both have a broader professional experience, we shall be able to move somewhere else. I so want to live in a rural village, it is my dream
Food wise, I am becoming very lazy, not wanting to cook, etc. I need to go to cooking classes, as I always cook the same boring meals and I am tired of them. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to cook!!!

Lazy me speaking again
I can't wait for spring to come, I have enough of these cold morning when everything is dark. There is nothing I hate more than having to get up when Nature is still sleeping!

And i can't wait to see if I will be able to wear nice spring-summer clothes. I know I always say the same thing over and over again

but it is a real incentive for me. I don't want to spend another spring-summer having to sweat under dark covering outfits anymore. I want to be able to walk somewhere without fearing that I will be too hot and sweaty.

It is amazing all the things that my weight prevent me to do. Even seeing my family is not the same as usual. I may or may not be paranoid but I always think that people will comment on me when they see me with all this weight on. I run away from situations where I have to meet new people

. I don't even want to meet my BF's friends as I don't want to be an embarrassment for him.



Don't get me wrong, it doesn't think I am an embarrassment and is the loveliest most understanding man when it comes to my weight

, I am the one who thinks that I am an embarrassment. I don't even dare going out in my home town, for fear of seeing an school friend :sigh:
So as you can see, I want to change a lot of things, and not just only my eating habits. And I know I will succeed

. And I am so happy I found Minimins

. Call me sad, but going on minimins is probably the best moment of day
