Sparkles Diary - Back
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Sparkle
Gold Member
:sigh: Well I had two interviews today, I didn't get the first one and I don't really want the second one... But then I desperately need to get out of where I am so don't know what to do if I get offered it - oh well, cross that bridge when I get to it. I really want the job I'm going for on Monday.
Anyway, in my depressed and rejected state I've fallen off the wagon... and a big part of me really wants to get back on it, but another part is saying... Well there's a 60th Wedding Anniversary that I'm going to tomorrow... and then I'm going across to the mainland next week for three days staying in a pub/hotel. And on one of those nights I'm going to another party which is being held at a Chinese all you can eat buffet place...
But now as I'm typing this I'm thinking that I'm only eating the main meal in a hotel one night so I can have salad then (I've looked at their menu, the salads look nice, or even if I don't have that there are options which aren't too bad)... I'm going to find out what shops are there and probably have a Boots lunch (sandwich, fruit and water etc) on the three days... And then take my eating out book and study it and pick the lowest pointed food for the chinese... For breakfast I'll just have toast instead of cereal (cos I don't know what milk it will be) and then I can have a simple main meal when I get back on Thursday night.
It's not the complete disaster I thought it might be.
I was really worried that I would just put all the weight I've lost this week back on next, so was wondering why I should bother, but it may not be as bad as I thought. And even if it's not brilliant I can still do 'damage limitation'.
I think I've made myself feel a little more positive. lol
Anyway, in my depressed and rejected state I've fallen off the wagon... and a big part of me really wants to get back on it, but another part is saying... Well there's a 60th Wedding Anniversary that I'm going to tomorrow... and then I'm going across to the mainland next week for three days staying in a pub/hotel. And on one of those nights I'm going to another party which is being held at a Chinese all you can eat buffet place...
But now as I'm typing this I'm thinking that I'm only eating the main meal in a hotel one night so I can have salad then (I've looked at their menu, the salads look nice, or even if I don't have that there are options which aren't too bad)... I'm going to find out what shops are there and probably have a Boots lunch (sandwich, fruit and water etc) on the three days... And then take my eating out book and study it and pick the lowest pointed food for the chinese... For breakfast I'll just have toast instead of cereal (cos I don't know what milk it will be) and then I can have a simple main meal when I get back on Thursday night.
It's not the complete disaster I thought it might be.
I was really worried that I would just put all the weight I've lost this week back on next, so was wondering why I should bother, but it may not be as bad as I thought. And even if it's not brilliant I can still do 'damage limitation'.
I think I've made myself feel a little more positive. lol
Starlight
Gold Member
Sorry you didnt get the job Sparkle 
Hope Monday goes better for you - you will ofcourse let us know I hope
You sound in the right frame of mind for all that socialising next week. I think itll be really hard to keep to your points every day - ok impossible really but as you say there are ways to keep some down. Youll be absolutely fine!!!
Youre doing brilliantly and even if you do have an off week, its not the end of the world, you KNOW that click will be back in no time
Hope Monday goes better for you - you will ofcourse let us know I hope You sound in the right frame of mind for all that socialising next week. I think itll be really hard to keep to your points every day - ok impossible really
but as you say there are ways to keep some down. Youll be absolutely fine!!!Youre doing brilliantly and even if you do have an off week, its not the end of the world, you KNOW that click will be back in no time
Sparkle
Gold Member
Hmmm kinda. Diet wise everything has gone to pot. Went to a 60th Wedding Anniversary party on Saturday and stuffed my face, then the happy couple were round ours on Sunday for a buffet so stuffed my face again - then tomorrow I'm going to be staying in a hotel for 2 nights (coming back Thursday evening) so that's the diet gone to pot again. Looks like I'm going to have put that 4lbs back on and be back on the plan on Friday!
On the other hand, the happy couple have invited me to stay with them in San Francisco any time I want, although they might be moving at some stage so I had best hurry up - and I have a job interview today at 1pm for a job that I really really want - unfortunately I'm not feeling too confident as I've already been turned down for one (on Friday - which is when I went back to my comfort eating!).
I've gone completely off the dating scene - not interested in it. I need to learn to like myself first - and also I want to live a bit - maybe travel, and I won't be able to do that if I'm with someone (I have a tendancy to do whatever they want all the time and never worry about what I want or need).
So I've thought stuff it! (although slightly ruder language) I'm going to start making plans - I know I've been saying this for a couple of weeks now - but I'm going to finally get off my backside and do something. A lot depends on whether or not I get another job or not. If I don't I'm considering quitting my job in a couple of months and going over to the US for 2 or 3 months. If I do then I'll just have to have the odd week here and there, but I am going over there. I need to.
On the other hand, the happy couple have invited me to stay with them in San Francisco any time I want, although they might be moving at some stage so I had best hurry up - and I have a job interview today at 1pm for a job that I really really want - unfortunately I'm not feeling too confident as I've already been turned down for one (on Friday - which is when I went back to my comfort eating!).
I've gone completely off the dating scene - not interested in it. I need to learn to like myself first - and also I want to live a bit - maybe travel, and I won't be able to do that if I'm with someone (I have a tendancy to do whatever they want all the time and never worry about what I want or need).
So I've thought stuff it! (although slightly ruder language) I'm going to start making plans - I know I've been saying this for a couple of weeks now - but I'm going to finally get off my backside and do something. A lot depends on whether or not I get another job or not. If I don't I'm considering quitting my job in a couple of months and going over to the US for 2 or 3 months. If I do then I'll just have to have the odd week here and there, but I am going over there. I need to.
Oh Sparkle, if you dont mind me saying - Yes, it really sounds like you do need to! You sound exactly how I felt a few years ago.
I didnt know what I wanted - things were just not working out for me at all - I kept going for the real 'bad boy" type men - men who were so bad for me - complete a**holes to be honest and who treated me terribly. I allowed them to continue because I had absolutely no confidence whatsoever and, if im honest, not much self worth.
I hated my job. I just went to pay the bills - no enjoyment whatsoever.
My friends were all either moving away or in serious relationships, the few that were still around had children and of course, they had other priorities than going out with me on a Saturday night!!
Oooh I could sit here and list things all night long but, to get to the point, one day I just up and went!!! I decided the week before, packed half a suitcase and flew off to the good ole USA............ this was the best thing I could have ever, ever done. I spent just 3 short months in Atlanta, GA but it felt like a life time as I came back a completely different person. I worked taking care of 3 small children but had so much time to think and revaluate my whole situation and exactly what I wanted from life. I gave myself a big make over - dyed my black hair blonde (eek!) , bought different clothes, make up etc.. I know it probably sounds so vain, but I wanted to go home looking completely different - and I did - Inside and out!! - I was so much calmer, collected, overall in just a better frame of mind.
I cannot explain to you how much that trip benefited me personally, it was one of the best things I have ever done.
Oh God, I know I have really rambled on (so sorry), its just my heart breaks for you, I know how you feel. My (obvious) advice would be to go for it!! if it doesnt work out... just come home! simple as!...but if it does - it really could change your life!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I didnt know what I wanted - things were just not working out for me at all - I kept going for the real 'bad boy" type men - men who were so bad for me - complete a**holes to be honest and who treated me terribly. I allowed them to continue because I had absolutely no confidence whatsoever and, if im honest, not much self worth.
I hated my job. I just went to pay the bills - no enjoyment whatsoever.
My friends were all either moving away or in serious relationships, the few that were still around had children and of course, they had other priorities than going out with me on a Saturday night!!
Oooh I could sit here and list things all night long but, to get to the point, one day I just up and went!!! I decided the week before, packed half a suitcase and flew off to the good ole USA............ this was the best thing I could have ever, ever done. I spent just 3 short months in Atlanta, GA but it felt like a life time as I came back a completely different person. I worked taking care of 3 small children but had so much time to think and revaluate my whole situation and exactly what I wanted from life. I gave myself a big make over - dyed my black hair blonde (eek!)
, bought different clothes, make up etc.. I know it probably sounds so vain, but I wanted to go home looking completely different - and I did - Inside and out!! - I was so much calmer, collected, overall in just a better frame of mind. I cannot explain to you how much that trip benefited me personally, it was one of the best things I have ever done.
Oh God, I know I have really rambled on (so sorry), its just my heart breaks for you, I know how you feel. My (obvious) advice would be to go for it!! if it doesnt work out... just come home! simple as!...but if it does - it really could change your life!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Starlight
Gold Member
I hope your interview went well Sparkle!!
Sounds like youre really at a crossroad at the moment but you know what youre at the best point of your life to do it, before youre settled, have a mortgage etc.
You go for it, as Nikki says, whats the worst that can happen, you dont like it - and come home?
*HUGS*
Sounds like youre really at a crossroad at the moment but you know what youre at the best point of your life to do it, before youre settled, have a mortgage etc.
You go for it, as Nikki says, whats the worst that can happen, you dont like it - and come home?
*HUGS*
Sparkle
Gold Member
Thanks ladies - it's so nice to have so much support.
I got a call yesterday from the firm where I went for the interview on Friday afternoon. They offered me the job, but I've turned it down. As unhappy as I am in my current job, I can't see there being any point in me going to another job I'm not interested in. All I would be doing all day is audio typing, tying up 10 and 20 page surveyor reports... I wasn't convinced that I wanted it and was a bit worried about it - so I turned it down. If I'm not looking forward to starting a job what's the point in accepting it?
I haven't heard anything from the job I want that I interviewed for on Monday. Should hear back by the end of the week whether or not they want me to go back for a second interview and some tests.
It's not the end of the world if I don't get it though - As much as I want it I'm trying to look at the positive of both outcomes.
If I get it - fantastic! A job that really interests me and challenges me and I will be very excited.
If I don't - I'll probably stay where I am until the end of next January. It'll be a lot easier for me to get the two weeks off work (unpaid) I will need when I have my operation, I'll get this years bonus which should be pretty good as we've had a fantastic year - and I can use that money to either go travelling, or pay off the majority of the loan I'll be taking out for my operation - which will make it easier to go travelling. I'm looking into hiring a car and doing a road trip but 1) I think I'll need to be 25 to be able to do that for insurance purposes and 2) I'd quite like someone to go with, but for now I'm just going to look at the different options.
From now on I'm just going to go into work and do my job. If the guy there tries to moan to me or winge about the situation I'm going to tell him I'm not interested. If my friend does then I will just listen but I'm not going to get involved... I'm also going to try to be as busy as possible that way there's less opportunity for people to complain about everyone else. How do you get motivated about really boring work? That's one of the main things I'm struggling with at the moment.
I don't know how I'm going to deal with my manager - I really can't stand her. She's so unprofessional and I have absolutely no respect for her. I'm just going to have to find a way to deal with her.
Dietwise things have been awful since last Friday and I feel like I've put on half a stone. However I popped to Tesco on my way to work today and got breakfast for today and tomorrow (cereal variety pack and canderel, oh and a pint of skimmed milk for today) and have got a Tesco Healthy Eating sandwich, muller light, and Tesco HE Cereal Bars. We're having to eat out tonight (what with staying in a hotel) but I'll probably pick a salad or something - damage control/limitation. Going out for drinks as well but I'm knackered so I don't think I will drink - would prefer not to go out to be honest, just want to curl up with my book. If anyone can think of any good excuses they would be much appreciated.
Can't wait to be able to get back on the plan 100% on Friday - although we have old family friends coming to see us on Sunday and apparently are going out for dinner, but I'll probably just have a roast dinner or something and fill up on veg.
Anyway, better get on with some more work. I can't wait to be back home on Thursday evening!
I got a call yesterday from the firm where I went for the interview on Friday afternoon. They offered me the job, but I've turned it down. As unhappy as I am in my current job, I can't see there being any point in me going to another job I'm not interested in. All I would be doing all day is audio typing, tying up 10 and 20 page surveyor reports... I wasn't convinced that I wanted it and was a bit worried about it - so I turned it down. If I'm not looking forward to starting a job what's the point in accepting it?
I haven't heard anything from the job I want that I interviewed for on Monday. Should hear back by the end of the week whether or not they want me to go back for a second interview and some tests.
It's not the end of the world if I don't get it though - As much as I want it I'm trying to look at the positive of both outcomes.
If I get it - fantastic! A job that really interests me and challenges me and I will be very excited.
If I don't - I'll probably stay where I am until the end of next January. It'll be a lot easier for me to get the two weeks off work (unpaid) I will need when I have my operation, I'll get this years bonus which should be pretty good as we've had a fantastic year - and I can use that money to either go travelling, or pay off the majority of the loan I'll be taking out for my operation - which will make it easier to go travelling. I'm looking into hiring a car and doing a road trip but 1) I think I'll need to be 25 to be able to do that for insurance purposes and 2) I'd quite like someone to go with, but for now I'm just going to look at the different options.
From now on I'm just going to go into work and do my job. If the guy there tries to moan to me or winge about the situation I'm going to tell him I'm not interested. If my friend does then I will just listen but I'm not going to get involved... I'm also going to try to be as busy as possible that way there's less opportunity for people to complain about everyone else. How do you get motivated about really boring work? That's one of the main things I'm struggling with at the moment.
I don't know how I'm going to deal with my manager - I really can't stand her. She's so unprofessional and I have absolutely no respect for her. I'm just going to have to find a way to deal with her.
Dietwise things have been awful since last Friday and I feel like I've put on half a stone. However I popped to Tesco on my way to work today and got breakfast for today and tomorrow (cereal variety pack and canderel, oh and a pint of skimmed milk for today) and have got a Tesco Healthy Eating sandwich, muller light, and Tesco HE Cereal Bars. We're having to eat out tonight (what with staying in a hotel) but I'll probably pick a salad or something - damage control/limitation. Going out for drinks as well but I'm knackered so I don't think I will drink - would prefer not to go out to be honest, just want to curl up with my book. If anyone can think of any good excuses they would be much appreciated.
Can't wait to be able to get back on the plan 100% on Friday - although we have old family friends coming to see us on Sunday and apparently are going out for dinner, but I'll probably just have a roast dinner or something and fill up on veg.
Anyway, better get on with some more work. I can't wait to be back home on Thursday evening!
Sparkle, you sound so positive and its lovely to hear you with a big plan.
I know its awful to be in a job you dont like but keep viewing it is a temporary thing - take it week by week and buy your time - its only a matter of time until your out of there - your already taking the positive steps by attending interviews.
Really hope you get the phone call you want for the job - Ill be crossing my fingers for you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
p.s. if you dont want to drink say your on antibiotics - perfect solution as you cant drink on them and people rarely ask why you are as it could be private. Have a lovely time xx
I know its awful to be in a job you dont like but keep viewing it is a temporary thing - take it week by week and buy your time - its only a matter of time until your out of there - your already taking the positive steps by attending interviews.
Really hope you get the phone call you want for the job - Ill be crossing my fingers for you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
p.s. if you dont want to drink say your on antibiotics - perfect solution as you cant drink on them and people rarely ask why you are as it could be private. Have a lovely time xx
Sparkle
Gold Member
I suppose technically I am being sensible with the MAP and the clinic... However 'next time' (should there ever be one - with him or anyone else) I'm going to "Be Prepared!" (I'm sure the Brownies/Girl Guides would be appalled to see their motto used in this context). It's strange, I assumed that someone who's a 'bit of a lad' would be prepared... I have an excuse, I never in a million years thought I would be getting laid! lol
Dietwise - I'm really struggling. Planning to get back on it properly on Monday, I just can't think about it right now. I'm going round a friends tonight and probably ordering pizza, going out for an Italian with another friend tomorrow, and then we have friends of the family over on Sunday so will probably be going out for a meal again then!
So am focusing on Monday at the moment! Get all this weight I've put back on over the last week off!
Dietwise - I'm really struggling. Planning to get back on it properly on Monday, I just can't think about it right now. I'm going round a friends tonight and probably ordering pizza, going out for an Italian with another friend tomorrow, and then we have friends of the family over on Sunday so will probably be going out for a meal again then!
So am focusing on Monday at the moment! Get all this weight I've put back on over the last week off!
