Sparkles Diary - Back
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Sparkle
Gold Member
Thanks girls!! The added support here makes thing so much easier and more enjoyable! 
Nikki, of course I don't mind you looking at my gallery! I have to admit I hadn't looked at them for a while until Marie mentioned something, and I think looking at them has definately given me a kick up the arse!
Oh, and thanks for the lovely comment about my hair on the other thread!
Nikki, of course I don't mind you looking at my gallery! I have to admit I hadn't looked at them for a while until Marie mentioned something, and I think looking at them has definately given me a kick up the arse!
Oh, and thanks for the lovely comment about my hair on the other thread!
Pinkdiamond
Is it nearly October yet?
Good to hear you so happy and motivated. Sometimes setting a more managable goal makes everything seem so much easier bet you will fly past it!!! xxx
bet you will fly past it!!! xxx
Sparkle
Gold Member
Well still going strong. When I came home yesterday there was an Egg Custard Tart in the fridge that I really fancied - and had! Usually that would result in me binging for the rest of the night, but at only 4.5 points I could afford it. Although having said that I didn't have any tea, but then I didn't really fancy anything so I'm not that bothered.
Spent yesterday evening moving furniture around, took about 3 hours and half of it ended up back where it was in the first place!
I have to admit to feeling a bit low. I just feel really lonely. I've not got many friends here - well two good ones and they're both in their late 30s with teenage kids, so they have their own priorities. Don't get me wrong, I love them both to bits, and we would do anything for each other. But I want someone I can go to a local bar with and gossip about guys together etc.
Talking about guys it was recently brought to my attention that I've been single for 20 months, and without sex for 22 (too much information I know, sorry). That makes me feel lonely as well. I just want someone to wrap their arms around me. Unfortunately I always seem to go for guys who are out of my league - really good looking, can have any girl they want etc, why on earth would they want to go out with an overweight, average looking person like me?
I know that technically I don't want to go out with someone who is hung up on looks - but I have to admit I kinda am as well. I have to find the guy attractive to like him - although having said that I didn't think much of my current crush when I first met him, and since I've got to know him he's such a lovely guy - and he's been working out lately, lovely arms and chest etc... Yes I've been making progress reports!
Having said that, it's still not going to lead anywhere because he was a long term girlfriend and too kids - the 'progress reports' and the flirting are all just a bit of fun. To be honest I think because I'm so lonely and it's been such a long time since anyone has flirted with me I'm kinda clinging on to it, even though he would never cheat, and as much as I say otherwise I know that when it came down to it I could never be anything more then friends with a guy in a serious relationship. So as I'm only 'clinging' to it as he's the only person who give me that attention (and doesn't run screaming when I give it back), how do I 'get over it'!?
I just want someone - but at the same time I don't want anyone. With the way I feel about my body at the moment I'm not going to sleep with anyone until I've lost my weight and had my boob job - doesn't mean I don't want someone to care for me though.
<<Sigh>> I need a life, and some friends! Then I'll be okay I'm sure.
Anyway, I'm still sticking to the diet and feeling very positive about that! Sure I've lost about 2lbs this week, so close to that mini goal of getting into the 180lbs!!
Sorry to go on, just need somewhere to vent. Everything seems to make so much more sense when it's written down, and Minimins is such a good place to just
it all out!
Spent yesterday evening moving furniture around, took about 3 hours and half of it ended up back where it was in the first place!
I have to admit to feeling a bit low. I just feel really lonely. I've not got many friends here - well two good ones and they're both in their late 30s with teenage kids, so they have their own priorities. Don't get me wrong, I love them both to bits, and we would do anything for each other. But I want someone I can go to a local bar with and gossip about guys together etc.
Talking about guys it was recently brought to my attention that I've been single for 20 months, and without sex for 22 (too much information I know, sorry). That makes me feel lonely as well. I just want someone to wrap their arms around me. Unfortunately I always seem to go for guys who are out of my league - really good looking, can have any girl they want etc, why on earth would they want to go out with an overweight, average looking person like me?
I know that technically I don't want to go out with someone who is hung up on looks - but I have to admit I kinda am as well. I have to find the guy attractive to like him - although having said that I didn't think much of my current crush when I first met him, and since I've got to know him he's such a lovely guy - and he's been working out lately, lovely arms and chest etc... Yes I've been making progress reports!
Having said that, it's still not going to lead anywhere because he was a long term girlfriend and too kids - the 'progress reports' and the flirting are all just a bit of fun. To be honest I think because I'm so lonely and it's been such a long time since anyone has flirted with me I'm kinda clinging on to it, even though he would never cheat, and as much as I say otherwise I know that when it came down to it I could never be anything more then friends with a guy in a serious relationship. So as I'm only 'clinging' to it as he's the only person who give me that attention (and doesn't run screaming when I give it back), how do I 'get over it'!?
I just want someone - but at the same time I don't want anyone. With the way I feel about my body at the moment I'm not going to sleep with anyone until I've lost my weight and had my boob job - doesn't mean I don't want someone to care for me though.
<<Sigh>> I need a life, and some friends! Then I'll be okay I'm sure.
Anyway, I'm still sticking to the diet and feeling very positive about that! Sure I've lost about 2lbs this week, so close to that mini goal of getting into the 180lbs!!
Sorry to go on, just need somewhere to vent. Everything seems to make so much more sense when it's written down, and Minimins is such a good place to just
it all out!
Starlight
Gold Member
I have to say first up I agree with Marie! Have you seen yourself? You look amazing, it sounds to me a bit like you still see the 'old' you in the mirror instead of the new totally different and gorgeous new version
I can relate to a lot of what youve said, my closest friends are married with kids, one split from her hubby last year and is already in a nice new relationship which almost screams 'Not fair' to me lol Having said that I KNOW I dont have the confidence to try and meet anyone just now, not til I lose more weight.
A bit of flirting is lovely and if it helps boost your confidence - even better. I know what you mean too about just having some physical contact and a hug. Thats sometimes one of the first things I want from my pal when I see him, a huge big man sized hug, cant beat it lol
Id definitely recommend suggesting a night out to your pals, youll probably find theyd jump at a night off I know thinking of my 3 closest friends that sometimes (actually very often) they jump at the chance to leave the kids for a while and have a good night out. One of my pals is Senior Management for a very large media company with a large staff working for her, totally professional, wears suits to work, has the company convertible car. Yet I have a clip on my phone of her jumping on her sofa, wine bottle in hand (like a mic) singing to a song on an 80's album - yes her son would be awful proud lol and her colleagues probably stunned lol but at the end of the day shes not always 'on duty' and welcomes the opportunity to kick back and relax. The point of this long boring story is - you may find your pals are the same... ok maybe theyre not into jumping on sofas the way she is But why not even start off suggesting going out for drinks and a bite to eat and I bet you they jump at the chance.
Youre a gorgeous and generous person Sparkle AND you even have time on your side, it really scares me sometimes that Im 38 now and wont really have my life where I want it to be til Im 39/40. I get scared Ive left it too late. I dont want to be on my own either. Youve started to turn your life around at a much better age - I bet you Mr Right isnt that far away
*HUGS*
I can relate to a lot of what youve said, my closest friends are married with kids, one split from her hubby last year and is already in a nice new relationship which almost screams 'Not fair' to me lol Having said that I KNOW I dont have the confidence to try and meet anyone just now, not til I lose more weight.
A bit of flirting is lovely and if it helps boost your confidence - even better. I know what you mean too about just having some physical contact and a hug. Thats sometimes one of the first things I want from my pal when I see him, a huge big man sized hug, cant beat it lol
Id definitely recommend suggesting a night out to your pals, youll probably find theyd jump at a night off
I know thinking of my 3 closest friends that sometimes (actually very often) they jump at the chance to leave the kids for a while and have a good night out. One of my pals is Senior Management for a very large media company with a large staff working for her, totally professional, wears suits to work, has the company convertible car. Yet I have a clip on my phone of her jumping on her sofa, wine bottle in hand (like a mic) singing to a song on an 80's album - yes her son would be awful proud lol and her colleagues probably stunned lol but at the end of the day shes not always 'on duty' and welcomes the opportunity to kick back and relax. The point of this long boring story is - you may find your pals are the same... ok maybe theyre not into jumping on sofas the way she is But why not even start off suggesting going out for drinks and a bite to eat and I bet you they jump at the chance.Youre a gorgeous and generous person Sparkle AND you even have time on your side, it really scares me sometimes that Im 38 now and wont really have my life where I want it to be til Im 39/40. I get scared Ive left it too late. I dont want to be on my own either. Youve started to turn your life around at a much better age - I bet you Mr Right isnt that far away
*HUGS*
Sparkle, my heart goes out to you! - I hate to hear you speaking like this.
Ok, im not just saying this because you seem to need a boost right now but in my honest, honest opinion I was quite jealous of you when you put your photo up recently (jealous in a nice way though!!) - I thought you look absolutely gorgeous!! -
You seem to be such a lovely, kind and intelligant person.
Us women are always doing this! - instead of thinking about the negatives (or what you perceive to be) in your life, why not concentrate and list all the positives? sit down and have a good chat with yourself! - look at the huge achievment that you have made by loosing all that weight!
I hope you are feeling better soon chick xxx
Ok, im not just saying this because you seem to need a boost right now but in my honest, honest opinion I was quite jealous of you when you put your photo up recently (jealous in a nice way though!!) - I thought you look absolutely gorgeous!! -
You seem to be such a lovely, kind and intelligant person.
Us women are always doing this! - instead of thinking about the negatives (or what you perceive to be) in your life, why not concentrate and list all the positives? sit down and have a good chat with yourself! - look at the huge achievment that you have made by loosing all that weight!
I hope you are feeling better soon chick xxx
Sparkle
Gold Member
Aww thanks ladies! That means so much! Whenever I go out I always feel like the ugly duckling, so your lovely posts have meant the world to me!
Irene, yes that is the course I'm hoping to start in October - what did you and your husband think of it?
Well I haven't really stuck to the diet today... Or, I did up until just after seven when I had a text from one of my friend asking if I fancied meeting up tonight. She ended up picking me up within the hour and we went out for a meal. Went out for Italian so I had Tagliatelle (I can't spell it! Lol)Pollo and a slice of fudge cake for dessert... Oh and a bottle of wine (less a (small) glass and a half).
True it means I've come off my diet today, but I will be back on track tomorrow - I know it. And it really cheered me up going out with a friend - and we got a chance to talk about the (unavailable) guy I really like which helped.
All in all, although it means I've gone over on my points I don't feel too bad - a 'treat' like this once in a while isn't the end of the world - Afterall, I've had enough of putting my life on hold until I'm slim! I deserve to live don't I? As long as I can look at is as just one meal off the diet, and not a day/week/month I should be fine - So I'm still feeling positive, and have cheered up!
Again, thanks for the lovely comments - it really means the world to me! :grouphugg:
Irene, yes that is the course I'm hoping to start in October - what did you and your husband think of it?
Well I haven't really stuck to the diet today... Or, I did up until just after seven when I had a text from one of my friend asking if I fancied meeting up tonight. She ended up picking me up within the hour and we went out for a meal. Went out for Italian so I had Tagliatelle (I can't spell it! Lol)Pollo and a slice of fudge cake for dessert... Oh and a bottle of wine (less a (small) glass and a half).
True it means I've come off my diet today, but I will be back on track tomorrow - I know it. And it really cheered me up going out with a friend - and we got a chance to talk about the (unavailable) guy I really like which helped.
All in all, although it means I've gone over on my points I don't feel too bad - a 'treat' like this once in a while isn't the end of the world - Afterall, I've had enough of putting my life on hold until I'm slim! I deserve to live don't I? As long as I can look at is as just one meal off the diet, and not a day/week/month I should be fine - So I'm still feeling positive, and have cheered up!
Again, thanks for the lovely comments - it really means the world to me! :grouphugg:
Paws
Full Member
Hi Sparkle, sorry to hear you are feeling a bit lonely. I can honestly say I have been there.Well still going strong. When I came home yesterday there was an Egg Custard Tart in the fridge that I really fancied - and had! Usually that would result in me binging for the rest of the night, but at only 4.5 points I could afford it. Although having said that I didn't have any tea, but then I didn't really fancy anything so I'm not that bothered.
Spent yesterday evening moving furniture around, took about 3 hours and half of it ended up back where it was in the first place!
I have to admit to feeling a bit low. I just feel really lonely. I've not got many friends here - well two good ones and they're both in their late 30s with teenage kids, so they have their own priorities. Don't get me wrong, I love them both to bits, and we would do anything for each other. But I want someone I can go to a local bar with and gossip about guys together etc.
Talking about guys it was recently brought to my attention that I've been single for 20 months, and without sex for 22 (too much information I know, sorry). That makes me feel lonely as well. I just want someone to wrap their arms around me. Unfortunately I always seem to go for guys who are out of my league - really good looking, can have any girl they want etc, why on earth would they want to go out with an overweight, average looking person like me?
I know that technically I don't want to go out with someone who is hung up on looks - but I have to admit I kinda am as well. I have to find the guy attractive to like him - although having said that I didn't think much of my current crush when I first met him, and since I've got to know him he's such a lovely guy - and he's been working out lately, lovely arms and chest etc... Yes I've been making progress reports!
Having said that, it's still not going to lead anywhere because he was a long term girlfriend and too kids - the 'progress reports' and the flirting are all just a bit of fun. To be honest I think because I'm so lonely and it's been such a long time since anyone has flirted with me I'm kinda clinging on to it, even though he would never cheat, and as much as I say otherwise I know that when it came down to it I could never be anything more then friends with a guy in a serious relationship. So as I'm only 'clinging' to it as he's the only person who give me that attention (and doesn't run screaming when I give it back), how do I 'get over it'!?
I just want someone - but at the same time I don't want anyone. With the way I feel about my body at the moment I'm not going to sleep with anyone until I've lost my weight and had my boob job - doesn't mean I don't want someone to care for me though.
<<Sigh>> I need a life, and some friends! Then I'll be okay I'm sure.
Anyway, I'm still sticking to the diet and feeling very positive about that! Sure I've lost about 2lbs this week, so close to that mini goal of getting into the 180lbs!!
Sorry to go on, just need somewhere to vent. Everything seems to make so much more sense when it's written down, and Minimins is such a good place to just
How about going speed dating? It's a good laugh and believe it or not that's how I met my husband! Let me know if you want any more info...
Sparkle
Gold Member
Starlight it was exactly what I needed!!
Paws - Speed dating scares me!! If I could make a good impression from the moment I met someone I would consider, but because I have such low self esteem it takes me a while to be comfortable enough to be myself with someone.
Well weigh day today and....
arty0019: I've lost 4lbs! arty0011: arty0049: arty0048: :bliss:
How much do I rock!!!! How much do all these icons rock?? I love them!!
arty0038:
Paws - Speed dating scares me!! If I could make a good impression from the moment I met someone I would consider, but because I have such low self esteem it takes me a while to be comfortable enough to be myself with someone.
Well weigh day today and....
arty0019: I've lost 4lbs! arty0011: arty0049: arty0048: :bliss:How much do I rock!!!! How much do all these icons rock?? I love them!!
arty0038:
Sparkle
Gold Member
I read that with a completely different meaning!
<<sigh>> I'm still thinking about boys! lol
Oh, and thanks everyone!! 'Tis a very good loss, I'm definately back on track, feeling ultra motivated!
kati
Gold Member
Most definately!!!
arty0049: how about this one instead?
