Hi All,
A bit of background - in 2014 after 2 years of not being able to get pregnant I sought fertility help. At 18st the first thing the doctor said was loose weight - before they would even do any tests. I began loosing weight after joining Slimming World, and after about a year managed to loose 4st and they started to run the tests as I still was unable to get pregnant. It turned out I had PCOS which not only was the reason I found it hard to loose weight (and easy to put on) but also why I couldn't get pregnant.
I got to the point that I was exercising twice a day and eating less than 900cals a day and very little in the way of carbs. I struggled as I have always been heavy and had a lot of muscle, so my BMI was really high - they would only give the go ahead for IVF if my BMI was below 30. In the end I starved myself, over exercised and also starting getting an eating disorder (I would feel so guilty when I ate I would often vomit). Right towards the final weigh in before the green light I even took diuretics to help shed the last pounds to get me under 30BMI.
Throughout all of this, it taught me BMI is rubbish - especially if you have a large muscle percentage. I have never felt as unhealthy and rotten as I did when I was just down to 27BMI (smallest I ever got to), my ribs and hip bones were sticking out and family begged me to stop. Luckily, I gained some weight and was a bit better prior to the IVF transfer. It was a difficult pregnancy with my son being born at 29 weeks. He was in NICU for 3 months, and this time I would run out and eat whatever was quickest to get back to him. He was home on oxygen and needed to be held 24x7 so I would eat what I could eat one handed, had little energy to make meals or good choices - needless to say now my son is 3 and I have gained all the weight back on.
So now, I started calorie counting on New Years Day with little exercise except daily exercise (the current pandemic situation in my area in full lockdown and only one form of outdoor exercise a day). My son doesn't sleep well, I have him to look after as well as working full time at home so I have little time / energy for exercise. I really found going to the gym and having a trainer with me the best motivation - trying to do workouts at home I really find hard. I have lost 13lbs so far (a lot is fluid loss from starting a deficit again). I am just really worried I will start getting obsessed with BMI / restriction / eating disorder territory again. Does anyone have any advice on how to navigate this?
A bit of background - in 2014 after 2 years of not being able to get pregnant I sought fertility help. At 18st the first thing the doctor said was loose weight - before they would even do any tests. I began loosing weight after joining Slimming World, and after about a year managed to loose 4st and they started to run the tests as I still was unable to get pregnant. It turned out I had PCOS which not only was the reason I found it hard to loose weight (and easy to put on) but also why I couldn't get pregnant.
I got to the point that I was exercising twice a day and eating less than 900cals a day and very little in the way of carbs. I struggled as I have always been heavy and had a lot of muscle, so my BMI was really high - they would only give the go ahead for IVF if my BMI was below 30. In the end I starved myself, over exercised and also starting getting an eating disorder (I would feel so guilty when I ate I would often vomit). Right towards the final weigh in before the green light I even took diuretics to help shed the last pounds to get me under 30BMI.
Throughout all of this, it taught me BMI is rubbish - especially if you have a large muscle percentage. I have never felt as unhealthy and rotten as I did when I was just down to 27BMI (smallest I ever got to), my ribs and hip bones were sticking out and family begged me to stop. Luckily, I gained some weight and was a bit better prior to the IVF transfer. It was a difficult pregnancy with my son being born at 29 weeks. He was in NICU for 3 months, and this time I would run out and eat whatever was quickest to get back to him. He was home on oxygen and needed to be held 24x7 so I would eat what I could eat one handed, had little energy to make meals or good choices - needless to say now my son is 3 and I have gained all the weight back on.
So now, I started calorie counting on New Years Day with little exercise except daily exercise (the current pandemic situation in my area in full lockdown and only one form of outdoor exercise a day). My son doesn't sleep well, I have him to look after as well as working full time at home so I have little time / energy for exercise. I really found going to the gym and having a trainer with me the best motivation - trying to do workouts at home I really find hard. I have lost 13lbs so far (a lot is fluid loss from starting a deficit again). I am just really worried I will start getting obsessed with BMI / restriction / eating disorder territory again. Does anyone have any advice on how to navigate this?
