The 1st day of the rest of my healthy life!

I re-found you

Hi Jeanie,

I just read your diary right through as well - I know that I sent you a PM after your first post, but I was on my day one and didn't know my way around and so I didn't know that you had carried on posting and were writing your diary on here. I thought it was just the one on the Bride page, but as you had been quieter, I thought I'd go look for you (not in a stalker way - LOL!!). Anyway, I'll keep reading your updates now.

Ref: 'Your friend', you probably did the right thing not replying yet - perhaps leave it a week or so when you don't feel that instant urge to tell her to shove her friendship up her b*m (or is that just my anger management issues? LOL). She may have just reacted in the moment and didn't manage her frustration very well? Whatever her reasons, it was a selfish way for her to react and so I'm not suprised that you are angry. I hope that you resisted the urge to turn to food? I know how hard it would've been given your history, but I hope that you survived. We know that it's just letting that part of us that wants us to fail, win and then it just increases the viscious circle making us feel down on self again - with even greater urges to eat again. However you can overcome it, I know that you are a very strong lady from all that you have written.

Also, ref a previous comment regarding Fat Brain. I'm exactly the same. I was saying this (somewhere) the other day, that it's like I don't like or love myself enough to fully succeed. The drive of wanting to lose weight gets me so far, but as soon as I get the compliments and the results, I hit a hurdle. I start sabotaging myself as soon as I get to a new 'low'. I know from my previous spell in counselling (not CDC (as well)) that it's all about my low self esteem. I have a side that is ultra confident and no one ever suspects that I times I hate myself and set myself up to fail. I've attached a good link that explains how our brain works (you probably already studied this in your teacher training though), but it kind of helps me to know how it is all works and that ultimately it is me (and my EGO) making the choice of what to do. Apologies if psychology isn't your thing, but I love it!!!

Definitions of the Id, Ego and Superego

Anyway, I'll be checking in to see how you are getting-on on this board aswell from now on as well. You write so honestly and from the heart that it is a pleasure to read and know that there are other people like us out there and they are doing something to change their situation for the better.

I better get my jobs done (soon anyway), I'm de-cluttering today to make myself feel better!
 
Hi shimsham

I'll join you in the fat brain club i think!;)

Ive just said on my post, im so great at sabotaging myself, i have an easy to reach self destruct button and im always pushing it!

Im also fighting the demon voices, telling me to pick at food, was really hard last night as i had left over chicken tikka masala in the kitchen and i was hungry as ive not had enough water last 2 days, but i watched the biggest loser instead and feel brill this morning! :D

Please share when you find out how to slim our brains! ;)
 
thanks

Hi Lottie, thanx for the EGO link. Yes I have studied it as part of teacher training but that was about 16 years ago so it was a nice reminder - especially to try and apply it to my thinking and not that of a child.

Hi Emma, my fat brain isn't any slimmer yet but will let you know if I find a 'diet' for it! :confused: With regards to left-overs I once read a tip that pouring washing up liquid over it prevents you from eating it. Left-overs were never a problem in our house before I had a baby cos between BF and i nothing ever got left! :rolleyes: but now i am feeding a baby I know what you mean! Another tip I remember reading on minimins was to look at the fat that is removed from people on those TV make-over shows and whenever tempted by unhealthy food imagine how it fills up your body with that repulsive looking yellow gloop! I always used to look away at that point (denial?) but last night I made a point of watching 2 women on Extreme Makeover. YEUK!:eek:
 
Cleanliness is next to skinniness

DAY 16

Well that's yet another day of SS over (well almost!). I weigh in tomorrow so just hanging onto that thought.:)
Had a child-free day with no real plans and crappy weather which ALWAYS makes me feel sorry for myself. As I dropped my daughter off at childminders this morning an 'old thought' flashed through my head to 'pop' into the super market and stock up on comforting, fattening treats! This is what I would of done pre-CD on a day like today (to cheer myself up?!:confused: ). But no, not today, NOT ANYMORE!
Instead I came home and... well I would LIKE to say i got straight on with the housework as planned but the truth is that this sight has now replaced food as a diversion/avoidance strategy and I spent a couple of hours reading threads! BUT-nothing passed my lips other than water and a CD pack!
Then, after polishing my halo I DID clean the flat, did the laundry AND cooked my 1st ever Lamb Hotpot. (Betty Turpin would be proud!):D . Naturally I haven't tasted it but that has nothing to do with CD - I just don't eat meat. (just a shame it's the ONLY thing I don't eat!! pre-CD that is!).
Feeling a small sense of satisfaction. Hope it's borne out by the scales tomorrow...
 
Good luck at your weigh in tomorrow, I can't wait to find out how much you've lost. I bet you get into that 1st stone off mark!!!

You are so right, I've replaced eating with the minimins site. To be honest I don't know where the time goes on here. It's good checking in on everyone - I rarely get the chance to look at any of the other boards.

My fingers will be crossed for you in tomorrow! Good Luck
 
A very happy bunny!!

DAY 18

Had my 3rd weigh in today and have lost 4lb!!!:D :D :D
Been to see an old friend today and walked round with an unexplained grin on myface!! Not yet told her bout the diet tho did say that I was calorie counting when explaining why I asked for a black coffee instead of a white tea. Have deicided not to tell people, until I REALLY have to, unless it's more obvious that I have lost weight. That way I will be in a stronger position (both phsically and mentally) to stand my ground when they ask me why I am bothering so near to xmas or doing a VLCD again when I 'put it all back on again' last time...:mad:
Going out tonight with the girls to see some unheard of rock band in a pub which Summer described as 'rough and ready' and full of Essex boys so should be a right laff - even on the plain water all night!:rolleyes: Told the girls that I couldn't drink a cos am anti-biotics (white lie) cos of a water infection (to explain no soft drinks). Doubt will get to much stick as have offered to drive the drunken lushes there and back!
Right, off to find some glad rags that fit! :)
 
Last edited:
I bet you get into that 1st stone off mark!!!

She did! :D

Have a great night tonight, Jeanie - and watch out for those Essex blurkes eh? They love a good-looking blonde :rolleyes: ;)

Love
 
Day 19

Had a fantastic night last night! The girls I went out with are SO MUCH FUN and I can honestly say that nothing has changed between us since i had my baby, unlike other friends, sadly...

We were all expecting a real doghole of a pub as it has a terribly rough reputation but unless the Grey Power were planning to revolt it was certainly not the worse place i have enjoyed myself! ;)

Spent the night singing (in the losest sense of the word!) to classic rock covers and danced myself silly on 4 pints of the finest H2O. Had almost lost my voice by midnight! Still feel like I have a hangover today tho... so not fair! :mad:

It's funny, despite still having 5 stone or more to lose I and still wearing size 20 trousers I still felt more confident than I would of a month ago. Just goes to show what a big difference on the inside comes from small changes on the outside.

Tonight I am babysitting for my friends baby - clocking up points so they return the favour for us next month :p then tomorrow we are going out with them and some other friends of hours to see some reggae and ska bands at the Ace club. REALLY looking forward to that - makes such a change from the usual weekend domestic drudgery. Having said that, am off to the swings in a short while. For baby, not me, unfortunately!

Thank you Lottie, Summer and Clare for your continued support, it means so much to me. :) :)
 
You are welcome hun, it swings both ways :) I look forward to checking in and seeing how you are doing. Have a great night babysitting, I'm looking forward to doing absolutely nothing except watching X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing, I'm shattered after 5 hours of trudging Birmingham for my mums 'Mother of the Bride outfit' today.

Chat soon xx
 
Well done for breaking through the stone!!
 
Day 21

Can't believe I have been doing CD for JUST exactly 3 weeks and have lost a whole stone already! WAHEYYY!! :D

Had a great night sleep last night (am a terrible insomniac usually) which was much needed after crawling in in the early hours for the past two days.

Our plans for Sunday fell through (typical!:rolleyes: ) asour friend who is the bands drummes was struck down with gastric flu and hadto pull out. This through up anothr dilema when everyone else decided we should all go out for lunch instead! Was bit of a dilema for me, thinking of a way to get out of it witout telling them about CD (yet) but as it turned out they were too hung over from Saturday night to ace it! Phew!

Saturday night was a struggle! my friend whose baby I looked after had bought LOADS of lovely food for me - French stick, cheese, veggie pizza, chips and dips - the list goes ON! I couldn't stay completely away from it as was looking after my stick thin God son too who wanted to 'pick' :( My 'fat brain' was so hungry!! "go on, just a little bit, you can start again tomorrow, just a bit of green salad?" but somehow I ignored it and had a cranberry bar instead. Trut is, just a few weeks ago I would of been right on it thn ashamed when they got home to find how much I had stuffed away! :eek: But not anymore!!

Spent yesterday doing the 'domestic drudgety' i thought I was gonna get away from but wa nice to spend time as a family.

Got a very busy wek ahead and my weigh in is Thursday this week os we are off up to my folks in Yorkshire for the weekend. gonna have to tell them about CD. they were very supportive when I did LL, I just hope they will be again. It will be my AAM week so am hoping it will make CD look a bit more 'normal' (to outsiders!) than LL.
 
Hi shimsham, f
firstly well done for the loss so far, 1 stone in x3 weeks is brilliant! :D

Secondly OMG you are so good for resisting that food whilst babysitting, that would be my worst nightmare, food bought for me a nice quiet house, ticket for disaster for me!

You should be so proud of yourself for resisting!
Have a good but busy week! :)
 
Hi Jeanie,

Well done on resisting that feast. I'm very impressed. It takes a very strong will to succeed and to not cheat under those circumstances, so you really do deserve a pat on the back.

I'm sure that your family will be supportive as they were when you followed LL, especially as it's add a meal week.

It's a shame that the world and his friend do not really understand VLCD's. It's a permanent struggle to get outsiders to see that it isn't unhealthy and isn't a fad diet. It's hard enough without having to explain to everyone and try and get their buy in, but at the moment the world is just not used to the concept.

Anyway, hope that you still get to post your progress this week, in spite of being busy. Good Luck!
 
My 'fat brain' was so hungry!! "go on, just a little bit, you can start again tomorrow, just a bit of green salad?" but somehow I ignored it and had a cranberry bar instead. Trut is, just a few weeks ago I would of been right on it thn ashamed when they got home to find how much I had stuffed away! :eek: But not anymore!!

Well done Jeanie! I am SO proud of you for ignoring that nasty old 'fat brain'!

Have a lovely week and I'll see you Thursday. We can chat about how you're going to manage the home visit and AAM week then :)

Love
 
Back
Top