The journey continues!
- Thread starter cybill
- Start date
cybill
Gold Member
Thanks Jen 
I feel quite cross with myself for not being so strict, as I seem to be drawing out this last couple of stone for ages.
The last few days I've been trying to work out what it is I'm afraid of; and I think bizarrely I'm slightly nervous about actually reaching goal. For as many years as I can remember (probably since I was 12 and first put on the weight) I've wanted to lose it. This is the closest I've come to achieving that dream, and it feels like I'm a little nervous of actually achieving it, and not having it as a goal any more. This probably sounds totally crazy, but just trying to get through it at the moment, and find the confidence that I can just get on and be a 'normal' person, without having a permanent desire to lose weight - as I will have already done it. I think part of me is just unsure what it will be like not to have that as what I set each year as my new year resolution; not to have it as an underlying dream... instead to be actually living that dream!
I think I need to find a new goal / aim / thing to go for next year that will help me maintain, but is something totally different. I'm wondering about a walking / cycling / something fitness related, but perhaps adventure related too. Sort of seems premature to think about it now, but I guess I'm planning to hit my weight goal and do my cycle ride in September and need to work out what to focus on to keep me going through the end of the year and into next year .... and just into my life really!
Eeeek, I'm waffling on, and round in circles probably. It does feel better to be writing this out. Now to just process it and stop using it as an excuse for putting rubbish in my mouth. Tomorrow is the 1st August, and will be TS day for me
I think I will make myself a new August star chart
I feel quite cross with myself for not being so strict, as I seem to be drawing out this last couple of stone for ages.
The last few days I've been trying to work out what it is I'm afraid of; and I think bizarrely I'm slightly nervous about actually reaching goal. For as many years as I can remember (probably since I was 12 and first put on the weight) I've wanted to lose it. This is the closest I've come to achieving that dream, and it feels like I'm a little nervous of actually achieving it, and not having it as a goal any more. This probably sounds totally crazy, but just trying to get through it at the moment, and find the confidence that I can just get on and be a 'normal' person, without having a permanent desire to lose weight - as I will have already done it. I think part of me is just unsure what it will be like not to have that as what I set each year as my new year resolution; not to have it as an underlying dream... instead to be actually living that dream!
I think I need to find a new goal / aim / thing to go for next year that will help me maintain, but is something totally different. I'm wondering about a walking / cycling / something fitness related, but perhaps adventure related too. Sort of seems premature to think about it now, but I guess I'm planning to hit my weight goal and do my cycle ride in September and need to work out what to focus on to keep me going through the end of the year and into next year .... and just into my life really!
Eeeek, I'm waffling on, and round in circles probably. It does feel better to be writing this out. Now to just process it and stop using it as an excuse for putting rubbish in my mouth. Tomorrow is the 1st August, and will be TS day for me
I think I will make myself a new August star chart
*jenjen*
I will do this...
I identify with what you are saying. Completely. I wonder how I will fill the void of the excitement of losing weight when I get to goal. And I'm scared of getting to goal and how I will stay there.
You will find a way through it though, you have found a way through every other point of your weightloss journey which has been scary or difficult and you will move past this one. You are very self aware and you can do it xx
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
You will find a way through it though, you have found a way through every other point of your weightloss journey which has been scary or difficult and you will move past this one. You are very self aware and you can do it xx
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
cybill
Gold Member
Well, wobbled a bit yesterday, but am getting more focused. Yesterday I was 14:3, this morning back to 14:0; hoping to get back into the 13's and back into ketosis (let's get rid of this glycogen again, and start losing some more weight). I'll update tickers on Saturday, at my weigh-in (hoping not to have to move them up too much)
cybill
Gold Member
Found a good article, which is helping me not to let the first bad decision become an excuse for a whole day / weekend / week of them!
Ask the Diet Program Coordinator « The Beck Diet Solution
Ask the Diet Program Coordinator « The Beck Diet Solution
Little-Miss-Perfect
Doing it exante style :)
Hiya Rach
Very quiet on here. How's it going? xx
Very quiet on here. How's it going? xx
ladygaga
really trying again!
Hi Rachel,
just dropping by to say hello and to tell you I miss seeing your cheery face (and your success balloons) on here. I hope you are OK. Let us know that you are and if there is anything we can do to help (should you need it of course)
Lots of love
Gaga xxxx
just dropping by to say hello and to tell you I miss seeing your cheery face (and your success balloons) on here. I hope you are OK. Let us know that you are and if there is anything we can do to help (should you need it of course)
Lots of love
Gaga xxxx
cybill
Gold Member
Hi ladies,
Thank you so much for your messages Not quite sure why I've ventured away from mini's; probably because I'm struggling a lot. I keep having TS days and then blowing it again. I'm finding it really hard to get the motivation to get through this last couple of stone. I'm currently hovering around the 14:0 mark. At the weekend I had a glass of wine for the first time in what feels like forever! It was nice to feel slightly normal; but then the next day I felt really guilty.... argggggg! I'm not totally sure what's going on, but I know I'm finding it difficult to summon up the energy for this last bit. I think it's still fear; fear of the unknown; fear of achieving something that I've wanted to achieve for so long.
I'm currently helping cook at a kids summer camp; it's one I used to do years ago, but they were desperately short of help this year. It's great to go and help, but very tempting with all the tasty food! My last day there is this Sunday.
I was thinking of starting Beck again on Monday, but I could start it tonight actually, in the run up to Monday, to try and get back in the swing of it; and particularly to review my advantages list. A lot of my original list I've achieved, or near enough achieved, so I think I need to get really focused on why I want to get this last bit of weight shifted; and really get properly out of the 16's (clothes size) and reach the 11/12s weight wise.
Sorry I've not been around. As of next week (once camp has finished), I will definitely be back here!
Thank you so much for your messages
Not quite sure why I've ventured away from mini's; probably because I'm struggling a lot. I keep having TS days and then blowing it again. I'm finding it really hard to get the motivation to get through this last couple of stone. I'm currently hovering around the 14:0 mark. At the weekend I had a glass of wine for the first time in what feels like forever! It was nice to feel slightly normal; but then the next day I felt really guilty.... argggggg! I'm not totally sure what's going on, but I know I'm finding it difficult to summon up the energy for this last bit. I think it's still fear; fear of the unknown; fear of achieving something that I've wanted to achieve for so long.I'm currently helping cook at a kids summer camp; it's one I used to do years ago, but they were desperately short of help this year. It's great to go and help, but very tempting with all the tasty food! My last day there is this Sunday.
I was thinking of starting Beck again on Monday, but I could start it tonight actually, in the run up to Monday, to try and get back in the swing of it; and particularly to review my advantages list. A lot of my original list I've achieved, or near enough achieved, so I think I need to get really focused on why I want to get this last bit of weight shifted; and really get properly out of the 16's (clothes size) and reach the 11/12s weight wise.
Sorry I've not been around. As of next week (once camp has finished), I will definitely be back here!
ladygaga
really trying again!
Glad you are OK Rachel- you have been missed babe xxx
I can truly empthaise with how you are feeling and I am truly sorry you are having a rough time. I find the closer I get to goal on diets the harder it gets. the dmeons come into your head and start telling you that you hav come far enough and when you are surrounded by people telling you how fantastic you look (which you do) it just makes it ven harder. Losing weight is a huge physical and pyschological battle.
No point forcing yourself back into TS until your head is ready babe. I find that even tougher. Perhaps if you know you have a 'bad' week ahead then tell yourself you are off plan then re-evaluate it on Sunday. You need your heart in this to succeed and sounds like you have enough on your plate right now.
Sorry I feel like am ranting but you always give us such good advice babe. Hope we can do the same for you and have cheery Rachel back soon. Not the same without you. Clair's into tough love, Marge has gone away flaunting her now bod, Carly has been munching chips and wine (she is excused tho but only til midnight!) and I got attacked by nutella rioters!
Much love honey xxx
I can truly empthaise with how you are feeling and I am truly sorry you are having a rough time. I find the closer I get to goal on diets the harder it gets. the dmeons come into your head and start telling you that you hav come far enough and when you are surrounded by people telling you how fantastic you look (which you do) it just makes it ven harder. Losing weight is a huge physical and pyschological battle.
No point forcing yourself back into TS until your head is ready babe. I find that even tougher. Perhaps if you know you have a 'bad' week ahead then tell yourself you are off plan then re-evaluate it on Sunday. You need your heart in this to succeed and sounds like you have enough on your plate right now.
Sorry I feel like am ranting but you always give us such good advice babe. Hope we can do the same for you and have cheery Rachel back soon. Not the same without you. Clair's into tough love, Marge has gone away flaunting her now bod, Carly has been munching chips and wine (she is excused tho but only til midnight!) and I got attacked by nutella rioters!
Much love honey xxx
Little-Miss-Perfect
Doing it exante style :)
I totally understand where your coming from Rachel. I think that's what's been going on with me lately, being so close to goal scares me.
I keep meaning to re-start Beck, I'll probably re-start at the weekend when I've got some spare time (I'm working a horrendous shift)
Anyways, hope you get yourself sorted out and come back and finish your journey with us xxx
I keep meaning to re-start Beck, I'll probably re-start at the weekend when I've got some spare time (I'm working a horrendous shift)
Anyways, hope you get yourself sorted out and come back and finish your journey with us xxx
missbiker
Silver Member
Hi Cybill :wavey:
I don't know why we are all struggling at the moment, I guess that's why it's a personal journey! Hopefully when camp is finished you can get back in your routine. Not long til you start your course, is it?
I need a good kick in the behind to get going - life just keeps getting in the way :sigh:
Oh well, we'll get there.
Onwards and downwards
xx
I don't know why we are all struggling at the moment, I guess that's why it's a personal journey! Hopefully when camp is finished you can get back in your routine. Not long til you start your course, is it?
I need a good kick in the behind to get going - life just keeps getting in the way :sigh:
Oh well, we'll get there.
Onwards and downwards
xx
Little-Miss-Perfect
Doing it exante style :)
Hiya Rachel
How you doing? xx
How you doing? xx
