The Perfect Man Should.....

[Russiandoll]

My perfect man ... hmmm. Well it's hubby of course - but me perfect FANTASY man would slot into the categories below ...

* Be taller than me
But with me being 5' 1" that probably counts in most of the male population of the UK!

* Hair, or the lack of it, isn't an issue.
But if he's thinning then it has to be 'Bruce Willis' style

* Have nice teeth
Wonky, missing or grimy tombstones don't rock my world I'm afraid!

* Eat with his mouth closed.
Eating habits that mimic a cement mixer are a major turn off!

* Be a good listener.
And by that I mean he listens and doesn't just 'hear'.

* Doesn't like football.
I don't like to be made redundant for half the year.

Come to think of it ... hubby DOES fit all those categories

 

[fingers crossed]

Oooooooooh this thread is fun! Its also shows big flaws in my judgement though!

1. Over 6ft
2. Love football but not Man Utd
3. Not have an wife/kids or ex wife/kids
4. Not drive a BMW
5. Be up to 5 years older than me but not younger
6. Be good with his hands!
7. Be lots of fun
8. Think I'm great!!

Hmmmm.... so my bloke 1. yup, 2,3,4,5, aaaargh no! 6-8 yup again! Ah well... its a good job that he's rich & adores me to cancel out 2-5!!!

 

[deesel]

have a pulse well it has been a long time lol

 

[Mrs Depp]

A killer Eh!!, i will have to come round and feel your collar madam

Oooh Allan is that a promise?

 

[Boobyjood]

Ay up Carol!
Haven't been here for a while and when I do I catch you all getting frisky

The scary thing is; your description could almost apply to Rohan but we all know he's not the perfect guy. He yours though, for the price of a tetra!

So, OH aside, let me think...

1) Height relatively unimportant but prefer to eliminate dwarves and giants for practical purposes
2) Sense of humour essential
3) Twinkly eyes, nice teeth, preferably his own
4) Non smoker
5) Good listener
6) Intelligent but no boffins need apply
7) Good with kids
8) Enjoys sunshine
9) Tolerates me watching BB and other trashy TV
10) Hardworking
11) Considerate and affectionate
12) Likes cats
13) Age 35 to 50
14) Hair, any colour or length but baldies need to accept it, no comb-overs
15) Cheerful, smiley, sociable and confident

OMG this coud go on forever....

JudeX

 

[Mrs Depp]

Hello lovely!

Re Rohan, I haven't got any tetras would a tub of out of date mixamousse and 2 scahets of chicken soup do?

Anyway, Rohan definitely has numbers 3, 6, 8, 13, 14 and 15 (not sure of the others as I don't know him that well!) so it sounds like you've already got your ideal man!

P.S. I'll sort my order out for you asap, just waiting for my fake £20's to dry.

 

[Allan G]

P.S. I'll sort my order out for you asap, just waiting for my fake £20's to dry.

Just on the phone now to merseyside police, you will be getting a knock at the door very soon

I love this thread, you lot are not fussy are you i suppose every one has the arse of kyle, the boobs of Pamela anderson, and the body of Anjelina Jolie, (Or is that just my fantasy)

 

[Mrs Depp]

Just on the phone now to merseyside police, you will be getting a knock at the door very soon

Haha Allan - I know them all! First name terms me and Merseyside poleece!

I love this thread, you lot are not fussy are you i suppose every one has the arse of kyle, the boobs of Pamela anderson, and the body of Anjelina Jolie, (Or is that just my fantasy)

Kylie's arse? I had one before she did. Mine's like a beautiful peach and just as toned!

Pamela's boobs? Hers are false and mine aren't! Say no more!

Angelina's body? Nope she's too skinny! I'm more like Jennifer Aniston!

 

[Allan G]

Jenifer who?? not my cup of tea, tall leggy blondes my wife is 5ft 11 with big boobies

 

[Mrs Depp]

Haha! I'm 4ft 11 with big boobies!!

 

[Allan G]

Haha! I'm 4ft 11 with big boobies!!

I can rest my pint on your head then

 

[Mrs Depp]

Yeah and if your d!ck was big enough I'd be able to rest my elbow on it whilst chatting up the bloke behind you!

 

[Allan G]

Yeah and if your d!ck was big enough I'd be able to rest my elbow on it whilst chatting up the bloke behind you!

You could stand on it, so you can look over my shoulder

 

[Mrs Depp]

Yeah and if I did that you'd have your nose in my cleavage!

 

[Allan G]

Yeah and if I did that you'd have your nose in my cleavage!

And your point is??

 

[Mrs Depp]

And your point is??

Dorty boy!

 

[Allan G]

Dorty boy!

Who me????

 

[Mrs Depp]

Who me????

Do you see anyone else by the name of Allan here?

 

[Allan G]

Do you see anyone else by the name of Allan here?

All sweetness and light me

 

[Mrs Depp]

All sweetness and light me

Of course you are............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... just agreeing with you 'cos you're a scary poleece man!