The Things People Say?

[Toots]

I think there is a very big difference in attitude between someone who actually thinks they are "fat/overweight" or are not very comfortable in their skin and people who just say it to get attention...
In general (and of course there are always the exceptions) I have found that people who are genuinely not comfortable in their skin or find themselves overweight etc don't tend to go around "advertising it" (i.e: "omg look how fat I am")
And I've also noticed that for the people going around saying they are fat when they are clearly not, most of them if you actually tell them they are fat will get upset and say they're not fat at all...
At least so far that's been my experience....
If you really think you're fat, you usually don't think there's a need to go around telling the world about it, because in your mind (whether it's true or not) everyone can tell, there's no need to advertize.
But of course there are always exceptions etc etc...

I have been there. When I was younger there was not a picking on me - although it's only now I realise that. I used to sit and break my heart at how huge I was and my friends would try to consol me - often we had to agree to disagree as they were my friends and, in mind, they were just lying to make me feel better. I always had a front so strangers / those not that close to me would never know and I wouldn't advertise it / tell the world - but if something upsets you you talk to your friends.


xx

 

[Christiana]

Today I had a follow-up hospital appointment. I believe I have what is called "Lipodermatosclerosis" (aka varicose veins on acid), I had a venous scan 2 weeks ago, and today's appointment was supposed to clarify what was found and what action would be taken.

I tend to butt heads with my doctors because I believe that the bias towards those of us who are overweight is simply ridiculous, but I think today took the cake.

First he said:

"The scan couldn't tell us much as we couldn't see through all the fat"

Then he said:
"But your veins look like they're holding up well"

Ermmmm....you just said you couldn't see anything, but you saw enough to confidently say "I'm fine"?????

So I asked exactly what could be causing the pain and very blatant skin problems associated with it, just to see if he would concur with what I've discovered doing my own research and he said (I swear, it took all my strength to avoid eye contact with this guy as he said this, because I do think I would have burst out laughing):

"Basically your fat is agressively squeezing your veins"

*facepalm*

Ermmmm....I'm flashing back to when you said my veins were fine, now they're apparently being "squeezed", but do go on...

"It would be pointless to have surgery as you are so overweight it wouldn't be of much help to you"

So I said:

"I am actively losing weight...I'm more than 3st lighter than when I had my last appointment in May"

And after condescendingly congratulating me on my loss, he follows with:

"Have you been referred to the obesity clinic yet? I could do that for you now, if you like"

I refused. He ended the appointment with this gem:

"Of course, it's not to say that skinny people don't have venous problems"

What the hell....? *headdesk*

I needed to get that out, because I feel like I stepped into an alternate reality today. My fat is squeezing my veins. And my fat is so smart, it chose just my leg veins. And my veins are fine. The progressive hardening, crepe-like texture of my skin and excrutiating pain is simply a result of my agressive, vein-squeezing fat. But skinny people (i.e. NOT FAT) get it too. And they need surgery, unlike me, because simply losing weight will completely reverse this condition. Got it.

:sigh:

I give up. No more hospitals and surgeons for me. Just gonna dig a hole and crawl out when I'm a globally accepted "take my health problems seriously" weight. Rant over.

 

[lass321]

Christiana I am so proud of you because you are not at the moment butting your head off a brick wall - or in fact bashing your doctor's head against a brick wall. Perhaps you should have let your aggressive veins deal with him? Take care xxx.

 

[Christiana]

Thank you Lass. I find myself wanting to google "aggrssive fat/veins" just to see if it is the correct medical term . Silly surgeon.

 

[brightlightkatie]

This thread is hilarious but also really sad !

The most common I get from my family is "Dessert anyone? Well I dont need to ask you do I katie? You love dessert", or "what you need to do is walk more". I get 'healthy suggestions' from people like this all the time. Like... more often than not, overweight people such as myself suggest it.

Also "you definately dont need to lose 4 stone, thats ridiculous ! REALLY? CAUSE I USED TO BE 7 stone lighter and I was still living and breathing !!!!!!"

My sister "Why are you doing slimming world? All you have to do is eat healthily and do exercise"

GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Oh and the best one, my mam who has also just started slimming world but is only very slightly in the overweight category on bmi "lets eat loads before we go to the meeting (the first meeting) so we can gain and it looks like we have done even better next week". ERM. That is not how it works, I dont want to look like I have done well, I want to do well !!!!!!

xxxx

 

[treasureBelle]

This thread is hilarious but also really sad !

The most common I get from my family is "Dessert anyone? Well I dont need to ask you do I katie? You love dessert", or "what you need to do is walk more". I get 'healthy suggestions' from people like this all the time. Like... more often than not, overweight people such as myself suggest it.

Also "you definately dont need to lose 4 stone, thats ridiculous ! REALLY? CAUSE I USED TO BE 7 stone lighter and I was still living and breathing !!!!!!"

My sister "Why are you doing slimming world? All you have to do is eat healthily and do exercise"

GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Oh and the best one, my mam who has also just started slimming world but is only very slightly in the overweight category on bmi "lets eat loads before we go to the meeting (the first meeting) so we can gain and it looks like we have done even better next week". ERM. That is not how it works, I dont want to look like I have done well, I want to do well !!!!!!

xxxx

I get similar comments from some of my friends. I go to WW meetings, but don't always follow the plan itself (more often than not, just eat better and exercise)... but I like going to the meetings for accurate weigh-ins, and the supportive atmosphere from the group. I go because I like being part of the group... where I'm surrounded by people in the same situation (or who have been in the same situation), who understand what I'm going through.

Some of my friends at uni scoff at the idea of me going to WW meetings... "Why pay to go along and be told you're fat?" but they don't get it. WW works for me, and so that's what I want to stick with.

 

[Scotdeb]

I was so glad to see the outcry over that Marie Claire article - fattism is becoming more and more mainstream and it was good to see someone be forced to apologise for it.

I KNOW that in my case at least it's my own fault I am fat, but there's no point in kicking people when they're down.

 

[SammyE]

Mines slightly different, after losing nearly 3 and a half stone since May people are really starting to comment now, then ALWAYS ask how much more I want to lose, Ive given up being honest... when people ask how much I've lost I say "um nearly 2 stone" how much more do you want to lose? "another stone or so"

Because if Im honest and say Ive lost nearly three and a half stone and want to lose another 3 stone they say "oooh your be way too skinny then!" "your going to make yourself ill" "dont get obsessed" I wont be too skinny, I wont be ill... I will be 9 and a half stone... which is high mid range bmi. If someone was my height and 10 and a half stone and said they wanted to lose a stone, no one would bat an eyelid but because ive been so overweight, they seem to think if I get "normal" weight, I will be too skinny.... cant win haha.

 

[treasureBelle]

I was so glad to see the outcry over that Marie Claire article - fattism is becoming more and more mainstream and it was good to see someone be forced to apologise for it.

I KNOW that in my case at least it's my own fault I am fat, but there's no point in kicking people when they're down.

I feel the same way. People are people, no matter how much they weigh. Just because someone is overweight, is no reason to be cruel to them. My philosophy is that you should treat people the way you wish to be treated. Besides, what does calling someone a "fat ugly (insert insult here)" add to the life of the person who is saying it?

There are some people who mistake rudeness for honesty. There is a difference. Yes, there are people who find someone who is overweight aesthetically displeasing, or not so easy on the eye. They are perfectly entitled to their own opinion. However, just because one holds the opinion that a particular person is the ugliest human ever to grace the planet (for whatever reason), doesn't mean they should tell them that. I know this doesn't just apply to skinny people, but I just wanted to contribute the thought.

 

[lass321]

True Treasurebelle - I'm not sure why people feel the urge to comment on weight, when they would not comment on other factors. For some reason it is more disappointing when made by another overweight person, or someone who has lost weight, I sort of feel that they should know better!

 

[Christiana]

Mines slightly different, after losing nearly 3 and a half stone since May people are really starting to comment now, then ALWAYS ask how much more I want to lose, Ive given up being honest... when people ask how much I've lost I say "um nearly 2 stone" how much more do you want to lose? "another stone or so"

Because if Im honest and say Ive lost nearly three and a half stone and want to lose another 3 stone they say "oooh your be way too skinny then!" "your going to make yourself ill" "dont get obsessed" I wont be too skinny, I wont be ill... I will be 9 and a half stone... which is high mid range bmi. If someone was my height and 10 and a half stone and said they wanted to lose a stone, no one would bat an eyelid but because ive been so overweight, they seem to think if I get "normal" weight, I will be too skinny.... cant win haha.

I have never understood people who do this....you know how much you need to weigh to be healthy, you know what it'll take to get there...but they insist that you'll be too skinny....bloody hell, you can't win with people sometimes!

Regarding the Marie Claire article, it's the reason I don't particularly believe her apology is sincere...What she said in that article was so heinous, that I equate if you swapped out "fat" for "race" or "sex" that article would never have even seen the light of day. Fatism is the last accepted prejudice unfortunately.

I found an awesome response to the article (I'll post the link if I find it), where the blogger (a man who likes fuller figured women) responds by affirming that "fat acceptance" is not equal to forcing people to find fat people attractive....it is simply a notion of live and let live. She may not like to see fat people on TV etc. but did she really need to rip the way she did? And then she blames it all on her anorexia....managing to alienate yet another set of people. Woman is craaaaaazzzzzzzyyyy.

 

[SammyE]

I havent seen what she said... might have to go and have a look on google

 

[Jettica]

Wow, people can be horrible.

I haven't had any truly awful comments (although I have been asked if I'm pregnant 3 times *sigh*) but here are some of the ones that pee me off.

My mum said to me the other day "when you came to see me at work the other day one of my colleagues said 'oh Jess has such a beautiful face.'"

Just my face? What the hell is wrong with the rest of my, I was wearing an expensive dress, nice shoes etc. Is the rest of my not pretty, just my face? Yes it's a compliment but it's like saying 'lovely face, shame about the rest.'

When people tell me I've lost weight when I've been plateauing for ages. They're just saying it to make me feel good whether they've noticed it or not.

I could go on but everything had already been covered by you sexy lot. Thank god we've got one another, eh?

 

[Scotdeb]

Jettica -

Ah yes, the wonderful back-hand compliment of "You have such a pretty face" I'd rather get no compliment at all than one which is followed with a silent "..shame you're so fat"

 

[CeeCee-is-MeMe]

Re: What skinny people say?

Whoa just reading these just shows you how unless you have lived with a weight problem u just have no idea!!! Plus clearly feel the need to dig at those who do have an issue!

I've heard plenty. Too many to mention really :-(

Sum1 said on here about a comment made at kfc. Well once I was In there years back and the guy serving took my friends order, no bother. Then took mine and said "lemmie guess, you wanna go large! I just looked at him and said "no, why would I?" and he said well if you not going large, I know you want some sides" I wanted to die. Stupid thing was. My (slim) mates ordered more than me!!!

Also I hear the usual... You'd be so pretty if you lost the weight.

... You wouldn't be you if you lost the weight, it adds to you personality!

... Treat yourself, lifes too short (as they wave chocolate in my face)

... Plus my nickname (in my family) since I was 5 has been CHUNK! nice eh?

If, no WHEN I'm slim I would never ever say anything like that. The little digs hurt!

Good luck everyone,
Ccxx

 

[xxlettyxx]

... You wouldn't be you if you lost the weight, it adds to you personality!

... Plus my nickname (in my family) since I was 5 has been CHUNK! nice eh

Haha, I know these two someone said to me ages ago that it was OK being overweight because it suited me and my family's nickname for me - a "funny", ironic name derived from my past eating habits - is Baby Bird

 

[lass321]

Haha, I know these two someone said to me ages ago that it was OK being overweight because it suited me and my family's nickname for me - a "funny", ironic name derived from my past eating habits - is Baby Bird

Mmm - I think us being overweight does not suit us - but perhaps sometimes it suits others. It suits others becuase we make them look good. I'm tired of that. I intend to make me look good now!

 

[-Tally-]

It would be nice if those who are so judgemental could spend a day being really overweight and feeling powerless about it. Just a day, might change their perspective a little eh.

 

[blue-eyed-girl]

For me, the three worst that I can remember are:

1. From a normal sized (not super skinny, but just an attractive size 12) friend, upon seeing that I had lost a few pounds: "Wow, you'll be rivalling me when we go out soon!". Because, of course, that is my ONE goal in life.

2. Same friend and her husband. Constant, and I mean CONSTANT, jokes about 'chubby chasers'. Never at my expense, it has to be said, but still. We'll be in the pub and one of them will mention a friend of theirs - someone from work maybe, or a mate from uni. There have been plenty of times. Then the conversation will turn towards their girlfriend or someone they kissed at the office party or whatever. This girl (and it's ALWAYS a girl) will be overweight. Therefore, their friend is a 'chubby chaser'. Because he happens to have kissed/slept with/married a girl who is overweight. And this is said when I am there, all 16 stone of me, in front of several of our friends. One time I'd had enough and just snapped 'So is MY boyfriend a chubby chaser? Cos I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm quite fat. Is that the secret of our relationship? My flab? Or might it be possible that he loves me for me? ARE YOU CALLING ME A FETISH?'. That shut them up pretty quickly.

3. "You're not fat, you're just curvy." Or "voluptuous". Or "a real woman". Shut up. I'm fat. Deal with it - I have.

Gah. Stupid people.

 

[CeeCee-is-MeMe]

3. "You're not fat, you're just curvy." Or "voluptuous". Or "a real woman". Shut up. I'm fat. Deal with it - I have.

Gah. Stupid people.

Omg totally!!! Could not agree more! I hear all that nonsense too! Lol
As for the chubby chaser thing. That's awful, so any guy who likes a girl with meat on her bones is a weirdo with a fetish! What's wrong with some people?? Maybe she's a really lovely person & yeh god forbid he actually fancies her!!

When (not if) I'm slim(ish) I wudnt dream of making comments about peoples weight. It's just not on.
Ccxx