Tinytootz rant-and-involve-some-food diary
- Thread starter Tinytootz
- Start date
Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
Oh yes, sooner (but not toooo sooner) rather than later would be better!
He is a total terror, I'm amazed Hugo and Dude put up with him really, he is forever *attacking* them from the dining chairs. I would have swiped him one by now! Can't wait till he is allowed outside
He is a total terror, I'm amazed Hugo and Dude put up with him really, he is forever *attacking* them from the dining chairs. I would have swiped him one by now! Can't wait till he is allowed outside
kirsty_baird_26
Gold Member
Your kittens so cute
Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
I think I've been kidding myself for awhile now. Basically, I've been feeling depressed since last Friday, and I need to address it. I know depressed is a strong word, but its the only one I can think of to describe how I've felt. I'm crying for no reason, tiny weeny things are setting me off, and I feel like my world is crumbling around me. OH and I have been arguing, and its got to the stage now where I barely talk to him. I know its not the end of the road for us, I just need to sort some things out with him and us. I can't blame him for how I feel, its me causing it.
We've taken on a kitten, so in the mornings I am run ragged sorting out a kitten, cat, dog and birds, as the kitten keeps eating the cats food, the cat eats the kittens, and they end up being sick. The dog keeps messing on the kitchen floor, and I suspect it is for attention, as he only does it when we have gone to bed. Even if we leave him in the house for hours on end during the day, he has never made a mess. OH keeps buying more birds to breed. I know he is doing it to help us make more money, but I feel like I am losing some control over my own life. I've had to take a cut in hours at work as some shifts we are overstaffed, and basically I am earning tuppence. So once everyone at work is back off holiday, I am cutting my hours to see if it helps me out. It can be so frustrating and in some ways upsetting sitting for hours on end, earning what can honestly be 60p an hour. It might help to even my temper out, as I keep shouting at the dog, losing my rag with OH, and I think it is down to pure frustration.
OH lost his temper with me on Friday. It boils down to me offering to lend him some money to buy his daughter a bike. Rather than telling me it made him feel bad, he let it fester, and it blew up in my face big time. At one point he was leaving me, and was going to call the police as I wouldn't let him in the house. Needless to say, the police were not called, and he has not gone. But I have since told him that under no uncertain terms, it is never ever to happen again. He hasn't responded to it yet, but I will get it out of him tonight.
So basically, in many ways, SW has been at the back of my mind. Trust me, I am kicking myself over it, but I just cannot get my head into it, as I am basically feeling so sodding sorry for myself. Most meals are SW friendly, but the extras like cookies, sandwiches etc are not. I feel fat, frumpy and pretty flipping useless at the moment.
Rant over. Now to get on with making myself feel better however I go about that. So this diary may remain kinda empty for a wee bit. :cry:
We've taken on a kitten, so in the mornings I am run ragged sorting out a kitten, cat, dog and birds, as the kitten keeps eating the cats food, the cat eats the kittens, and they end up being sick. The dog keeps messing on the kitchen floor, and I suspect it is for attention, as he only does it when we have gone to bed. Even if we leave him in the house for hours on end during the day, he has never made a mess. OH keeps buying more birds to breed. I know he is doing it to help us make more money, but I feel like I am losing some control over my own life. I've had to take a cut in hours at work as some shifts we are overstaffed, and basically I am earning tuppence. So once everyone at work is back off holiday, I am cutting my hours to see if it helps me out. It can be so frustrating and in some ways upsetting sitting for hours on end, earning what can honestly be 60p an hour. It might help to even my temper out, as I keep shouting at the dog, losing my rag with OH, and I think it is down to pure frustration.
OH lost his temper with me on Friday. It boils down to me offering to lend him some money to buy his daughter a bike. Rather than telling me it made him feel bad, he let it fester, and it blew up in my face big time. At one point he was leaving me, and was going to call the police as I wouldn't let him in the house. Needless to say, the police were not called, and he has not gone. But I have since told him that under no uncertain terms, it is never ever to happen again. He hasn't responded to it yet, but I will get it out of him tonight.
So basically, in many ways, SW has been at the back of my mind. Trust me, I am kicking myself over it, but I just cannot get my head into it, as I am basically feeling so sodding sorry for myself. Most meals are SW friendly, but the extras like cookies, sandwiches etc are not. I feel fat, frumpy and pretty flipping useless at the moment.
Rant over. Now to get on with making myself feel better however I go about that. So this diary may remain kinda empty for a wee bit. :cry:
Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
....and she's back!
Got myself a darn cold to add to the fun and games. Didn't WI yesterday. Saw no point as I knew I had gained due to eating pizza, chips, ice-cream, chocolate, crisps and all sorts. The relationship between me and OH came to a head the other night when I found out he is a smoker. I knew he used to be prior to us, but I thought he had given up. I didn't go mad at him, but I went quiet as I was hurt, which in turn made him feel bad, and it ended up with us both sulking. We talked last night. He was hurt as last week I didn't put kisses at the end of my texts, I was hurt as he hasn't contacted me at all on Monday. Basically, we are a pair of overly sensitive ******* who need to remember how each other feels. If it would bother me, chances are it would bother him. He has told me he gave his cigarettes away, and will quit. Ive told him that's great if he does it, but if he ever has one, I would FAR rather he told me than hid it. I don't like the idea of him hiding things from me. I know that chances are he won't tell me, but I think I explained as best I could why he should. If he doesn't, and I suspect, then I'll get all suspicious of him, wanting to look through his things, which is never good. I still feel a bit funny about it, but I know it will pass eventually. I hate smoking. I'm not a preacher regarding it, but as I have never seen him smoke, I know that if I did it would upset me.
So now that aspect is in order, I know I now HAVE to work on my own self loathing. Basically, I do not like myself at all. I think I'm fat, ugly, useless, a bad friend, a bad girlfriend, a bad daughter. And I'm not, but I can't see it. So I need to work on that, hence why I am attempting to jump back on ze old wagon again
7/9/11
Bran flakes - HE
Milk - HE
SW wedges
Leeks
Muller light
Grapes
Apple
Home made cottage pie (ex lean mince, onions, oxo, herbs, spring onion mash)
Baked beans I think, or possibly veg.
Ended up with a slice of cheesecake for afters - 20 syns!!!!!! Sheesh alive
Got myself a darn cold to add to the fun and games. Didn't WI yesterday. Saw no point as I knew I had gained due to eating pizza, chips, ice-cream, chocolate, crisps and all sorts. The relationship between me and OH came to a head the other night when I found out he is a smoker. I knew he used to be prior to us, but I thought he had given up. I didn't go mad at him, but I went quiet as I was hurt, which in turn made him feel bad, and it ended up with us both sulking. We talked last night. He was hurt as last week I didn't put kisses at the end of my texts, I was hurt as he hasn't contacted me at all on Monday. Basically, we are a pair of overly sensitive ******* who need to remember how each other feels. If it would bother me, chances are it would bother him. He has told me he gave his cigarettes away, and will quit. Ive told him that's great if he does it, but if he ever has one, I would FAR rather he told me than hid it. I don't like the idea of him hiding things from me. I know that chances are he won't tell me, but I think I explained as best I could why he should. If he doesn't, and I suspect, then I'll get all suspicious of him, wanting to look through his things, which is never good. I still feel a bit funny about it, but I know it will pass eventually. I hate smoking. I'm not a preacher regarding it, but as I have never seen him smoke, I know that if I did it would upset me.
So now that aspect is in order, I know I now HAVE to work on my own self loathing. Basically, I do not like myself at all. I think I'm fat, ugly, useless, a bad friend, a bad girlfriend, a bad daughter. And I'm not, but I can't see it. So I need to work on that, hence why I am attempting to jump back on ze old wagon again
7/9/11
Bran flakes - HE
Milk - HE
SW wedges
Leeks
Muller light
Grapes
Apple
Home made cottage pie (ex lean mince, onions, oxo, herbs, spring onion mash)
Baked beans I think, or possibly veg.
Ended up with a slice of cheesecake for afters - 20 syns!!!!!! Sheesh alive
Last edited:
Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
8/9/11
Thursday = takeaway day. We are having chinese
Bran flakes - HE
Milk - HE
Either pasta pack or leftover cottage pie with leeks (we're low on veg)
Muller light
Fruit of some sorts
Depending on where we go (one does naff chow mein), its either:
Chicken chow mein - 7
or
Chicken, green pepper and blackbean with boiled rice - 5
Lemon chicken - 7 I think
Chicken with ginger and spring onion - 5 I think
Might also have some chicken noodle soup, what with me being poorly and all - 3?
Thursday = takeaway day. We are having chinese
Bran flakes - HE
Milk - HE
Either pasta pack or leftover cottage pie with leeks (we're low on veg)
Muller light
Fruit of some sorts
Depending on where we go (one does naff chow mein), its either:
Chicken chow mein - 7
or
Chicken, green pepper and blackbean with boiled rice - 5
Lemon chicken - 7 I think
Chicken with ginger and spring onion - 5 I think
Might also have some chicken noodle soup, what with me being poorly and all
- 3?
Last edited:
craftylucyloo
Gold Member
Hi hun. Just been catching up with everything. Sounds like you're having a rotten time missus. My husband did the same thing recently with smoking. He hasn't had any for 7 yearsish and then he starts up again and hides it from me and lies to me until I get the truth out of him. I hate it. I really do. He makes the bedroom stink every morning cos of his smoke. Urghhh I am a preacher against it and absolutely hate it. It's just another nail in the coffin for me I think.
xxx
xxx
Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
I know what you mean. I don't want it to turn into a nail, hence why I have tried to nip it in the bud now. He can't have been a frequent smoker, we spend an entire week together, 24/7 and he never had one. Its them hiding in his bag which has bothered me more. Well, he has said he will stop from now on, I just hope he does, as if I found out again, I won't be in the best of moods, mainly directed at him!
You still having issues with him indoors? It sounded like you had a breakthrough not so long ago with him. Men eh? Can't live with them, could survive quite happily without them!
You still having issues with him indoors? It sounded like you had a breakthrough not so long ago with him. Men eh? Can't live with them, could survive quite happily without them!
craftylucyloo
Gold Member
Things have been much better this week. I am just being very cautious regarding what I say etc but sometimes things HAVE to be said. Hope you have a good weekend. xx
Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
I know what you mean. Lately I have been saying the things which HAVE to be said, and its not always ended pretty, but at least it gets it out of my mind and out on the table.
I'm afraid for the time being, the diet is out the window. I'm trying to focus on making myself happier. I'm not resorting to food to do this, but it's not always a priority. Thursday night I had chinese satay chicken (not on skewers, in a sauce with veg), rice and a few chicken wings. Swerved the ribs and prawn crackers. Friday lunch was Burger King, Chicken burger with chips and a diet coke. Friday tea was WM toastie with cheese and baked beans. Also had a Cornetto Enigma. Today I had some of the leftover chinese for an early lunch type thing, then I'm gonna have some WM toast, a Mug shot, and tea is pollock with mashed potato and vegetables. Tomorrow is steak, SW chips, frylighted onions and veg, Monday is.....undecided!
It feels like me and OH hit the 'make or break' stage. Not been together for 10 months yet, but it seemed like it was a case of 'do we want this?', to which the answer from both parties was yes, so on we go! I've told him about the smoking, I've told him about his behaviour when stressed (he turns into a complete and utter impossible arse-hole), and about how stressed, anxious, paranoid and self loathing I have felt recently. He tells me I can't do wrong, but I know I can, and I know how and why I do it, so I have to work on that too It may not have been 10 months yet, but sometimes it feels like we have been through the mill already. I think the two housemoves took it out of us, and made us see each others bad sides.
Personally, I am feeling calmer in my mind. A decision has been made about Hugo. Sadly, he has to go. He has become more aggressive, unreliable and dangerous lately, and, even though it is scary, kids have been mentioned. He is a young dog, not 2 yet. Chances are he will be around for 10+ years yet, and his attention seeking and jealousy is not good at all. We cannot pet the cat without him barking or nipping, and can barely hug each other without him kicking off. This was happening before the kitten arrived, and isn't even aimed at the kitten, so I cannot pin point it to that either Its going to be a sad and hard day when I do that, but I know he will be happier for it.
OH's nan brought us more food this weekend. Bless her, but its always naughty things! No pizza, thank the lord, but we got Friji milkshakes, sausages, baked beans, Ugo panini and steak.
Anyhoo, this is a food diary! There is food mentioned in this post somewhere
I'm afraid for the time being, the diet is out the window. I'm trying to focus on making myself happier. I'm not resorting to food to do this, but it's not always a priority. Thursday night I had chinese satay chicken (not on skewers, in a sauce with veg), rice and a few chicken wings. Swerved the ribs and prawn crackers. Friday lunch was Burger King, Chicken burger with chips and a diet coke. Friday tea was WM toastie with cheese and baked beans. Also had a Cornetto Enigma. Today I had some of the leftover chinese for an early lunch type thing, then I'm gonna have some WM toast, a Mug shot, and tea is pollock with mashed potato and vegetables. Tomorrow is steak, SW chips, frylighted onions and veg, Monday is.....undecided!
It feels like me and OH hit the 'make or break' stage. Not been together for 10 months yet, but it seemed like it was a case of 'do we want this?', to which the answer from both parties was yes, so on we go! I've told him about the smoking, I've told him about his behaviour when stressed (he turns into a complete and utter impossible arse-hole), and about how stressed, anxious, paranoid and self loathing I have felt recently. He tells me I can't do wrong, but I know I can, and I know how and why I do it, so I have to work on that too
It may not have been 10 months yet, but sometimes it feels like we have been through the mill already. I think the two housemoves took it out of us, and made us see each others bad sides. Personally, I am feeling calmer in my mind. A decision has been made about Hugo. Sadly, he has to go. He has become more aggressive, unreliable and dangerous lately, and, even though it is scary, kids have been mentioned. He is a young dog, not 2 yet. Chances are he will be around for 10+ years yet, and his attention seeking and jealousy is not good at all. We cannot pet the cat without him barking or nipping, and can barely hug each other without him kicking off. This was happening before the kitten arrived, and isn't even aimed at the kitten, so I cannot pin point it to that either
Its going to be a sad and hard day when I do that, but I know he will be happier for it.OH's nan brought us more food this weekend. Bless her, but its always naughty things! No pizza, thank the lord, but we got Friji milkshakes, sausages, baked beans, Ugo panini and steak.
Anyhoo, this is a food diary! There is food mentioned in this post somewhere
Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
As usual, the menu changed. Went out for a diet coke last night, so needed a quick tea, so we had spaghetti, lean meatballs, tomato sauce and garlic bread, of which I had 1 slice off the baguette.
Today I've had 2x WM toast with tsp jam, SW wedges with baked beans, and in the slow cooker is a stew - lean topside, leeks, onion, carrots, parsnips, sage, seasoning, tbsp tomato puree and some stock. Will serve with mash I think.
Feeling snacky just now though so I'm drinking water to try and combat it!
Today I've had 2x WM toast with tsp jam, SW wedges with baked beans, and in the slow cooker is a stew - lean topside, leeks, onion, carrots, parsnips, sage, seasoning, tbsp tomato puree and some stock. Will serve with mash I think.
Feeling snacky just now though
so I'm drinking water to try and combat it!
