Title Change! My Journey!

[MayfairE]

Well, my sister... I'm rolling my eyes as I type! She's up to her usual tricks and refusing to rest up, she's already had a jaunt to the supermarket, (cue 2 1/2 hrs of walking on crutches not even a week after surgery :| ), and is up doing all sorts of things she shouldn't...she's even talking about going back to work on Saturday (barmaid) and I swear I'm considering tying her down and smacking her!

I think she's calmed down about the weight gain, plus given that she's ignoring every bit of given advice from her surgeon as far as moving around goes, she'll probably be fine. She's opting for fruit here and there and sticking to smaller portions and just eating more often if she's feeling tempted.

I'm not really sure how to get her to see sense about rushing back to getting on her feet, she'll do more damage than she will anything else

As for me, went to AquaFit tonight on my todd, first time I've ever been alone and I was a bit nervous, I know it's silly lol, but once in the pool I forgot all about it and just got on with it!

TotM from hell has finally taken it's leave I think...thank god...it floored me it really did! I was a bit worried a week of doing nothing but curling into a ball popping painkillers and food was going to have screwed my weight to within an inch of it's life but...weighed in at the gym and I've lost 4lbs! Well, technically seeing as I put on 3lb last week, I've lost 1lb..but at least I've dropped what I put on plus lost the extra 1lb. It was a relief I can tell you.

This is going to sound really silly though lol, but for the first time this last week or so...I felt somewhat normal. Between my weight and my PCOS TotM's have been pretty much all over the shop and I've never experienced "regularity" or what other people tend to go through like PMS or weight gain or anything else. Even this 4st or so dropped though has made a huge difference to my "symptoms" and I really did feel normal. It was horrible and I don't need any more like that tyvm Mother Nature, but...I'm just like everyone else! Lol. I even laughed after having a good old cry for no reason and then laughed even harder when I realised that I'd gone from sobbing to giggling in a matter of minutes lol.

Off to change my tickers and pop my new weight printout up on the fridge...this one is definately getting stuck up with a smiley face magnet!

 

[SuzyK]

Great loss Mayfaire you are doing really well. Just remember a loss is a loss and you are heading in the right direction so keep going!

You just made me laugh reading about going from crying to giggling, that is down to those darling things called hormones..... yes we are blessed being women aren't we!

Don't even start me on pregnancy and birth, but I can't imagine a man going through it! The joys at the end are worth it!

Can anyone hide your sisters crutches from her for a while to make her slow down. She may end up needing the op again and then she will be very annoyed with herself.

I am glad to hear you went to aquafit alone, do you think you could join anything else by yourself..... as it sounds to me like your confidence is going up as your weight is coming down.

 

[MayfairE]

I've considered suggesting hiding her crutches but sadly, I know that would just make her get up and walk without them and do even MORE damage to herself! Short of tying her down, I'm at a loss. My BIL has said if she doesn't go to work saturday he'll pay her rent, plus pay her wages plus an extra £100 on top of it....and she's still umming and ahing and saying "well I'll have to go back next week anyway".

Does anyone out there know anything about Statutory Sick Pay? I thought SSP was paid from the state and therefore as long as you work 16hrs + per week you can claim it? She keeps saying her contract says they don't pay SSP but surely they can't refuse to pay what they don't foot the bill for? Her main arguement for returning to work too soon is that she can't afford to stay off, which is fair enough, times are hard...but her surgeon did tell her she could return to work after 2 weeks but only if she worked in an office!!! Being a bar manager behind a VERY busy bar is not an office job!

 

[Lovely_Laura]

Have a look here Statutory Sick Pay : Directgov - Money, tax and benefits
I don't know anything about it myself but there might be some answers.

 

[MayfairE]

Ty Laura, much appreciated!! Anything to make her stop and actually listen to some advice for once lol.

And to think, she's 40 and I'm 28 and *I* feel like the eldest one rofl!

 

[SuzyK]

Hi Mayfaire

I have worked in bars over the years and it is often cash in hand. If that is the case your sister may not be able to claim. I think it is only about £60 a week anyway but if she has a contract then she may be on the books.

I think she also needs a doctors certificate and most doctors charge for that so your sister may think it is not worth the hassle for such a small amount back.

Can she not take a weeks paid holiday if she asks her boss, that way she gets something!

 

[MayfairE]

Yeah she's all on the books, she's the bar manager and has a contract and all the other stuff. Somehow my BIL has actually managed to convince her that AT LEAST another week off work is the right thing to do and she's agreed...thank god!

I still think she's going to end up going back way too soon and doing a lot of other stuff way too soon, but one small step at a time lol.

As for me, AquaFit again tonight, was good. Had a horrible day though beforehand and was nearly ready to jack it all in and bury myself under a duvet instead. My mother is a, well we'll say 'difficult' person and decided today she was going to be in a horrible mood so I had several hours of being told just how much she hated me, how useless I was, how I ruined her life, was nothing but a failure and of course her old faithful, fat and ugly. Eventually she just slammed her lounge door in my face and told me to get out so I slipped away to my BIL when he arrived trying very hard to fight back the tears and mostly failing.

I get so angry when she's like that, not at her, but at myself because I'm nearly 30 and I'm determined that she won't see me cry anymore, but they still come welling up as soon as she starts and I just sit there, frozen to the spot trying to make sure she doesn't see. I should be able to handle all this without turning into a snivelling 5yr old.

Oh well, at least AquaFit cheered me up a bit for a while, although I really was struggling to find the strength to go in alone tonight.

C'est la vie.

 

[Lovely_Laura]

Aww you poor poor thing, I don't care how old you are if a mother is like that you'll still cry and go back to being a child especially if it's always gone on. Please don't feel like a failure for acting naturally!

I'm the same, confrontation leaves me a wreck. Wobbly knees, needing the loo all of it! I think it's only natural to feel that way, the whole fight or flight thing but when it's a mother it doesn't feel like you can fight.

Sorry you've had such a dreadful day, very well done for going to Aquafit and please don't take to heart all the things she said, you're a beautiful wonderful person doing so very well.

 

[judith55]

Mayfair, I don't want to sound horrible but your mom sounds like she has a problem. You need to know that this isn't about you. This is about her and her insecurities. She obviously feels so cr*p about herself that she feels the need to put you down. You have to be strong and not listen to her. And you must believe in your heart that if she was "well" she would not say these things. From your posts I know that you are a kind, thoughtful and sweet person. Nothing else matters. Well done for coming here and sharing - I hope it makes you feel supported and cared for. Keep your chin up, xx

 

[SuzyK]

Mayfaire,

You have a great sister and BIL and I agree with Judith, your mum is the one that has a problem, not you!

As Laura says, you can't fight with your mum but you can walk away. I think next time she starts that is what you need to do before you get upset.

You are doing fantastically well with your weight loss and you should be so proud, so please don't lets these episodes get you down. You deserve better!

Don't get angry with yourself because your reactions are perfectly natural.

Well done for going to aquafit by yourself, I know that takes a lot of courage for you to do.

Big hugs from me.

 

[MayfairE]

Ty everyone, so much. You really can't even begin to imagine what it meant to me to log on and find these comments today.

 

[SuzyK]

YOU DESERVE THEM!!!!!!

Please Mayfaire, you need to realise you are a good person. Look how much you have been worrying about your sister.

You deserve to feel good about yourself as we all do. Nobody should put anybody down and if they try you shouldn't listen!

 

[MayfairE]

Another weigh-in at AquaFit tonight and disappointingly I've stayed the same... well, mostly lmao...I've lost... drumroll please.... 0.3kg! ROFL! Isn't that about 10oz rofl? But it's okay, c'est la vie! There's always next week, right?

Really enjoyed AquaFit tonight, it's been so bloody hot I'm shocked I've not lost a lb or two just from sweating rofl, but god it was lovely to get into the pool!! I still couldn't believe how many women were STILL complaining it was cold rofl, I was looking around thinking they were all crazy!

On a really nice plus note I was looking in the mirror today and for the first time I could really notice a difference, well in my face anyway lol. I'm starting to get my old face back, which may sound a bit silly but, it sure as hell beats the "Cartman Face" I'd gotten. I think I might even update my avatar pic later with a new face pic. I think I'm gonna wait until I reach my next goal though before taking another full body pic, there's no need to scare the children now eh!



Edited to add: Meant to say, sisters feeling a lot better, she's had her stitches out and is back to driving in light traffic and walking without crutches etc so she's happy lol. She actually came to the pool tonight, (not in the water just to wait and watch), and jumped on the scales after and she's put on 8lbs 8oz, (4kg), so she was a bit OMG! about it, but I told her not to panic, that she's getting more active now and as long as she's sensible from now on in it'll soon come back off and that it could have been worse!! I don't think that it's helped that my BIL has been feeding her sweets and chocolates in his, albeit poor, way of trying to make her feel better, (favourite box of chocolates etc). I don't think he truly means any harm by it he was just trying to make her feel better. So I think she'll be cutting back on the carbs and choccies for a while now rofl!

 

[Lovely_Laura]

That's brilliant you can see a difference in your face. You must be really pleased. Sorry about the nearly STS, happens to all of us. I'm a bit worried about my WI tomorrow, my ankles are dreadfully swollen with this weather so wonder if we're all suffering from water retention or something. It'll be cooler next week I think so maybe we can look forward to great losses then.

Glad your sister's up and about again, she'll get over the gain.

 

[MayfairE]

Ty Laura... pic update on its way in 5,4,3,2... lol...

GL with the WI tomorrow, tbh, I was wondering the same, I've been drinking gallons where it's so hot but I'm not sure the same amount has been coming back out lol, so hopefully now that it's going to cool down a bit more maybe the weight will drop a little next week!

Just updating my pics, stay tuned folks!

 

[MayfairE]

Okay so new avatar pic is up and for those who don't remember the last one...

April 13th pic:

May 24th pic:

And I've had that cheesy grin plastered all over my face for an hour now!

 

[Lucky Cat]

Wow mayfaire!!! What a difference in you! Your face is so much thinner, it really is

 

[MayfairE]

Tyvm Lucky Cat! I'm just gonna keep on grinning for a few more hours lol.

I text the pics to my sister and said look, I know you see me every week but now *I* see the difference and she text me back saying that yes, she can see a big difference but in those two pics its even more noticeable than she thought and finished with "God you look good!"

Best compliment ever.

 

[Lovely_Laura]

Wow you can see such a change and in only a month. No wonder you're grinning. So happy your sister was lovely about it too. Welldone

 

[XxKirstxX]

What a difference! You must feel great! Kirsty xx