Unit diet diary

Oh dear Katie - You poor thing. What an idiot, saying something and not meaning to hurt someone is one thing but saying it with the intention of it hurting the other person, someone you're supposed to love is just cruel.
My advice is - forget it. Be a strong confident woman. Lose weight for you, because you want to feel better. This is your husbands problem not yours. Enjoy your life whether he's in it or not and let him decide if he's worthy enough to be with you. If he's too immature to accept you for you then thats his problem, it has no reflection on you. He sould love and respect you even if you were 45stones and there are many men out there who love their women unconditionally.
Dont let him pull you down - you're of value and are worthy of love and respect no matter what size you are.
Dont know whether you watched big brother but i'd say to him what Tracey always used to - 'DEAL WIV IT' or tell him to get lost!!
 
Thanks all for your support had a million texts off him last night all abusive will probably be off line for a bit while i try and sort things out
 
Well husband was back last night and we had a long talk we both feel that we are being ignored by each other but it is so hard to make time for "us" when I have to get home and start studying every night we knew it was going to be hard when i went to medical school but never felt it would be quite so bad! Anyway he is very apologetic for what he said about my weight BUT he has stopped fancying me because I am not the same girl I was when we met which is all tied up to my weight he says he married a confident funny outgoing girl and now he is with someone who wants to hide away and not be seen by anyone who cries every time she has to go to a social occassion because she feels so terrible about her weight etc etc So after we had gone through all the other issues I realised what has been going on with my diet I have been talking the talk about diets for 12 months but not following it through because I am miserable I have so much on my plate I considered yestreday going back on the shakes but hubby wants me to do it slowly with ww or sw I have never had much success with sw because of the free foods so think i should go back to a ww class I am also going to speak to a dr as I just feel that im not coping with everything that my jobs are throwing at me. Sorry for the long ramble please let me know if you have any advise :wave_cry:
 
I am so sorry to hear you are having such a bad time :(You have to do what feels right for you,maybe you should talk to your doc get other things sorted first and then think about your weight,AS for ww I did it some years ago found it very good but my team leader was a cow in the end i gave it up as i could not stand her snotty remarks.Sorry if not much help just wanted to let you know you are not on your own:)
 
Oh Katie,

I am so sorry that you are having such a tough time and just wanted to add my support to you:)

I went through a similar thing 7 years ago with my first hubby. When we met I was approx 9 1/2 stone and always out clubbing etc. When we got married we just didn't have the money to go out all the time and eventually weight crept on. After some comments like "why don't you come to the gym with me", "that skirt looks a bit tight" and several others. I told him that I was joining ww - his reply was "yeah right! you won't stick to that!" He did have a problem with overweight people - he was very body conscious!:mad:

I did stick to it and lost 33lbs taking me to 9stone exactly and you know what? we were still unhappy - we had both changed as people and it was really nothing to do with the diet and weight gain as I originally thought.

We had been married less than two years when he came home one day and said he was sorry but he didn't want to be with me anymore. (It was a horrible time but I got through it with help from family and friends and now I am married again to a fantastic guy who loves me no matter what size I am)

What I am trying to say is that people do change, and maybe it isn't actually all about your dieting. You don't need the added pressure of blaming your diet and putting all your marital problems down to you. There are two people in your marriage.

I do hope that you can talk to someone close to you who can offer support, even if they say things you don't want to hear....at the end of the day - your marriage is your choice. It wasn't until mine finished that I realised a lot of my family and friends didn't actually like him!

I'm glad that you have managed to sit down to talk things over and I hope you told him how much his comments hurt you.

Good luck with ww - I think we have all found that any diet takes over your life as it is such a huge part of your life...food.

I sincerely hope that things work out for the two of you and I wish you all the very best

Take care and sorry for the long post:eek:
 
thank you so much for the post, I feel just like that i dont want to go clubbing anymore not because of my weight because i have grown out of it i have never been a drinker plus having to work peculiar hours means more often than not i am shattered and a good night to me is a meal glass of wine with friends my hub still wants to one of the lads abd is out all night on fri he came home at 4am and i found him passed out on the living room floor, thats not for me i feel so conflicted if im honest I cant see us being together long term any more but i also still love him i also feel bad that only last july i had a massive 20k wedding that my parents paid for and it was all for nothing!! I just dont know what to do
 
Katie,

You have to do what is best for you. You need to sit down and seriously think about what you want.

I was in the same situation and to be honest I loved him but I wasn't IN love with him anymore and I really couldn't see us staying together as we had grown so far apart.

Unfortunately these things do happen, people change as they get older - being married just makes it harder to end it. As you say, I'm not even interested in clubbing anymore, we might go to the local for a meal every so often but for us a great night in (was) a takeaway, a good movie and snuggling on the sofa. My first hubby would have been bored to tears with that.

I'm sure that if you talked to your parents they will say that they just want you to be happy and they wouldn't want you to stay married just because they spent 20K.

I don't envy you for what you are going through at the moment but you are not alone, please remember that:)

Take care
 
Katie, I've been reading your thread these last few days and desperately thinking of the right words to help you through this really horrible time. I still can't think of the adequate thing to say, but I want you to know that I really feel for you and I think you are doing the right thing pouring out how you feel on here as there is nothing more theraputic than releasing your emotions rather than holding them in. I hope that you can find some sort of peace for yourself really soon lovely.

Vikki.
 
Katie

You have to do what's right for you. If moving to WW feels like the right move, then make that move. Talking to your OH is important, but you need to consider how you feel about someone who can say the things he did, and act the way he has.

Spew it all out - whether it's here, or in a diary offline, then make the right choice for you :hug99:
 
Hey Katie,

If WW is the right move for you then do it. Seing a doctor might be a good thing but to be honest I would do what DQ says and have a really good think about things. I am a big advocate for trying to save marriages BUT both parties have got to tryand i think hubby has a lot of fgrowing up to do. xx
 
hiya all well we rae stilltrying to work things out but my hubby has said some very hurtful things and when i told him i did not know if i could forgive him his answer was you may as well go then!! However he has sid he is sorry and is trying to make an effort. But seriously I just dont know if i can forgive him I told him again last night how hurt i was and he said seriously i have said sorry you would you expect me to say nothing and be married to someone weighing 20 stone!! And i said well yes actually i would i am still not ready to make any major decisions and it is all very raw at the moment. As for dieting i went to ww on monday night as i have lost weight on points before and have been on the new units site and am very tempted to carry on with units and wi at ww dont know what to do really was very hungry yesterday with my points though. oh well very confused about everything also concerned that if i do lose weight my hubby will be very pleased but am i going to be living under the constant fear that he may leave me at any time if i regain it????? Sorry for big ramble but my family and friends answer is to leave him x
 
You can't stay with someone if you are scared that they will leave you purely down to your appearance. That's just wrong. But you need to decide what makes you happy. If he makes you happy more than he makes you sad, then work at it with him, but if it's the other way round then do you really want to stay??? :hug99:
 
Hun, are you wanting to stay??? Forget what friends and family say, and forget what you think they "might say".

Do you love him?
Can you live with him?
Can you live without him?

When myslef and dh went through massive amounts of s**t thats what i asked myself, I too was embarrassed about what people would say, but do you know what, it didnt matter in the end what they said, because I had to do what I felt was right for me, not them.

Hope this makes sense x
 
At the moment i still love him and cant imagine being without him but i am only willing to stay around while he is making the effort too!
 
Exactly right Kaite - he has to make the effort too.

Big hugs at this difficult time. Diet wise i have no idea. You're talking to the woman who changes her mind more times than I dont know what :)
 
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