Will my sex drive return once I've lost some weight?

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by big bear, 8 January 2011 Social URL.

  1. big bear

    big bear A bear on a mission!

    Posts:
    2,611
    Likes Received:
    28
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Diet:
    slimming world
    Really sorry if this is too much information but my sex drive has run off somewhere!

    I'm hoping that some of you have had this and once you've lost weight it's returned.

    I don't know if I should speak to the doctor about it or just wait and see.

    Can anyone advise?
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. ColJack

    ColJack Gold Member

    Posts:
    3,164
    Likes Received:
    65
    Start Weight:
    33st5.5lb
    Current Weight:
    19st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    16st9lb
    Lost(%):
    13st8.5lb(40.75%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    stupid question but, are you male or female?
    your name is ambiguous and your profile picture is no help at all..
     
  4. Shrimpy

    Shrimpy Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,120
    Likes Received:
    38
    Start Weight:
    13st6lb
    Current Weight:
    8st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st11lb
    Lost(%):
    4st8lb(34.04%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    This might be too personal, but I'll go with it!

    Has your sex drive deminished due to the way you feel about yourself?
    Was there any triggers you can remember?

    Also- if you haven't been having sex for a while the thing to do is to remove the pressure. Have a nice "clothes on" snogging session with your partner, tell them no sex for two weeks, but do everything else. Spend time being intimate but without having sex, see if that increases your sex drive.
    The other thing recommended to help is to masturbate, if you don't already, as sex and orgasms especially are hardwired in our brain as a "do again", so the more often you engage in sexual activity the more likely you are to want it.
     
  5. big bear

    big bear A bear on a mission!

    Posts:
    2,611
    Likes Received:
    28
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Diet:
    slimming world
    Sorry I'm female. The other think that may have a factor is that I had a baby 10 weeks ago!
     
  6. big bear

    big bear A bear on a mission!

    Posts:
    2,611
    Likes Received:
    28
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Diet:
    slimming world
    Shrimpy - no triggers that I can think of and no it's not because I feel bad about myself.
     
  7. Wilkin87

    Wilkin87 Full Member

    Posts:
    126
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    14st0lb
    Current Weight:
    12st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Lost(%):
    1st3lb(8.67%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    You made me smile!! :p
     
  8. ColJack

    ColJack Gold Member

    Posts:
    3,164
    Likes Received:
    65
    Start Weight:
    33st5.5lb
    Current Weight:
    19st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    16st9lb
    Lost(%):
    13st8.5lb(40.75%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    made me think naughty thoughts... but that's besides the point..

    it's probably a baby thing..

     
  9. Shrimpy

    Shrimpy Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,120
    Likes Received:
    38
    Start Weight:
    13st6lb
    Current Weight:
    8st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st11lb
    Lost(%):
    4st8lb(34.04%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I agree with ColJack, It's probably baby related, give it some time and do the nice intimacy things but allow yourself to no have sex. take the pressure off and let things arrange themselves as they will. The more worried you are the less likely you are to do it, imo. Just give it a while and enjoy the new baby and your partner. :)
     
  10. big bear

    big bear A bear on a mission!

    Posts:
    2,611
    Likes Received:
    28
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Diet:
    slimming world
    Thanks guys XXX
     
  11. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

    Posts:
    8,316
    Likes Received:
    161
    Start Weight:
    107kg
    Current Weight:
    85kg
    Goal Weight:
    79kg
    Lost(%):
    22kg(20.56%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    You are expecting to much of yourself Karen.

    It is your bodies way of recovering from the birth plus the fact it must be pretty exhausting looking after 2 such young babes.

    When it comes back it will come back with a vengeance !!! Look out Hubby !!!
     
  12. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

    Posts:
    4,429
    Likes Received:
    48
    Diet:
    Slimming world
    Hi hunny I can sooo sympathise. It nearly broke our marriage and I ended up gettin counselling that didn't work as all the woman did was talk to my son and say how cute he was but I did get diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. They knew it wasn't Pnd as I wasn't showing any signs but I had a nasty pregnancy ending up in a crash c section. My husband took it on board and we took things very very slow. He would never pressure me and we seem to after a year of maybe sex 6 times if that we are now back having it 3 or 4 times a week.
    It takes time. Being a new mum you are bound to focus on your baby all the time, tired from lack of sleep and also your hormones will take a while to get back to normal.

    Good luck xx
     
  13. big bear

    big bear A bear on a mission!

    Posts:
    2,611
    Likes Received:
    28
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Diet:
    slimming world
    Thanks guys, I'm quite happy not to do it as normally too tired or can't be bothered but H says he's got needs!! We've managed once since the baby (sorry tmi) I'm just going to take it slowly as FNM says..I don't want to go to counselling.

    Thanks again lovely people. XXX
     
  14. catxx

    catxx Full Member

    Posts:
    331
    Likes Received:
    14
    Start Weight:
    10st0lb
    Current Weight:
    9st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st3lb(2.14%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    Bless you for your honesty! You are not alone. It was at least 6 months before I could even think about anything like that after my two were born ;) Luckily my OH was ok with it cos he was exhausted too lol!

    I know from talking to friends that most of them were the same too, I thought maybe it was just me but thankfully not. You will get there and the better you feel about yourself all the better! :) x
     
  15. elissa_and_neil

    elissa_and_neil Full Member

    Posts:
    66
    Likes Received:
    1
    Are me and my partner really weird, cos once a week is all we can manage most of the time? We're both so exhausted from our jobs that Saturday is the only time for hanky panky, Sundays are spent stressing about going back to work again because we both HATE our workplaces. Seriously, I've often wondered this. I read a survey on BBC news about the 'normal' amount of sex couples have, and it was a lot more than we do! :confused:

    I also read that the 'average' couple passionately snogs about 5 times a day, but we hardly ever snog. We kiss and cuddle, sure. But swapping saliva has always seemed mighty gross to me. :p

    As for the original topic of this thread, I suspect there's something in the suggestion to masturbate more. Its easy to live without sex if you don't remind yourself of how good it can be, and going solo is the best low-pressure starting point I think.
     
  16. donnajt

    donnajt Addicted to Minimins!

    Posts:
    4,572
    Likes Received:
    38
    Start Weight:
    19st10lb
    Current Weight:
    16st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st4lb
    Lost(%):
    3st0lb(15.22%)
    Diet:
    Calorie Counting
    To add to the brew, stop stressing over it - tell hubby to back off and go solo - a nagging husband is such a turn off !!! The more you worry the more chore-like it will become, take it slow, find a bit of time for just you and hubby each day, even if its just a ten min snuggle on the sofa and let things progress at their own pace. Don't forget you are adjusting to having a little person completely dependent on you, husband has to realise that he is now 2nd in line, relax, we all go through "dry" spells, donna x
     
  17. missdetermination

    missdetermination Full Member

    Posts:
    96
    Likes Received:
    2
    Start Weight:
    14st2lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Diet:
    weight watchers
    Oh there is the exact same thread on my baby forum (babies from july 09 - and us girlies still having the same conversation 18 months later LOL).

    I started to wander when I saw this thread if there was something in the water xx
     
  18. Lexie_dog

    Lexie_dog UNLEASHING THE BEAST!

    Posts:
    3,741
    Likes Received:
    109
    Start Weight:
    15st12.5lb
    Current Weight:
    15st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st3.5lb(1.57%)
    Diet:
    SW, minimal bread!
    And I have to say, much as sex is lovely sometimes the other stuff is better. It reminds me of when you were first going out and didnt want to have sex, but the other stuff was fine.

    And I have to say after 10 years hubby doesn't skimp on the warm up, and the main act is great, but he completely ignores it if it's not sex or foreplay.

    The average couple snogs 5 times a day? Dunno who's getting my 5 then.

    Mines gave me a row the other day 'cause he wanted to watch Hustle not "grope me on the couch". Pffff.
     
  19. eilidhsmummy

    eilidhsmummy Full Member

    Posts:
    268
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    18st0lb
    Current Weight:
    17st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st6lb
    Lost(%):
    0st5lb(1.98%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    My problem is the other way round, its trying to get him in the mood!

    Our 1st yr of marriage we managed a whole twice!

    Trying to get more than a quickie is hard and does nothing for me!

    Tried new undies but didn't work! Back to the failing drawing board!
     
  20. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

    Posts:
    8,316
    Likes Received:
    161
    Start Weight:
    107kg
    Current Weight:
    85kg
    Goal Weight:
    79kg
    Lost(%):
    22kg(20.56%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Gosh that is serious. Have you talked about it.

    In couples who have been together for lots of years it is normal to have less *activity* but in your first year....goodness !!

    Have you discussed whether he has any underlying problems ? Exhaustion and depression can cause all-sorts of problems including difficulty in sustaining an erection and a lack of sex drive in men.
     
  21. eilidhsmummy

    eilidhsmummy Full Member

    Posts:
    268
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    18st0lb
    Current Weight:
    17st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st6lb
    Lost(%):
    0st5lb(1.98%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    He just says sex isn't important part of a relationship?

    I had serious depression for about 4 yrs and conduit painful when pregnant!

    My husband has had a colourful past, i just wish it would come back with me!

    Our last night off from our daughter we spent in asda! I'm still raging about it! Considering he had said about a romantic night in!
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...