Willowfire365's diary!

[willowfire365]

Hi everyone!

So as of tomorrow we’ve been here a week and so far I’ve stayed 100 %!! It’s been rather strange seeing everyone eating all the time as they do on holiday but I’ve not found it too bad. I have had to make sure I have ice cold water for my shakes tho - I tried one with room temp water and my god it tasted vile! I’ve not felt too bad and I’ve made sure my water levels are always topped up. Today was a bad day but I think it might have been a mix of not enough water and a lot of walking yesterday! Tomorrow we’re off to a water park for the day - we went 2 years ago and it was brilliant so I’m really excited about it!

I’ve been noticing a change while we’ve been here and I do feel like I’ve lost some more - it’s so weird not having a weigh in tomorrow! Will be interesting to find out how much I weigh when I get home on Friday night! I’ve done some shopping while we’ve been out here and for the first time in god knows how long I brought myself a dress!!! Shock horror! It’s rather tight fitting material and slightly revealing on my cleavage but it should look lovely when I’ve lost all my weight - so exciting! Also my mum and dad have been amazing! I have been staying in most night’s while they have dinner and then going out for a walk with them after….I did start going out with them while they ate but I must admit I did feel a bit uncomfortable as the waiters didn’t seem that happy I was only having water or plain tea! Lol

Mum and Dad have been amazing and keep saying how proud they are of me which is so sweet and they even shocked the hell out of me the other night by coming back with an amazing Guess bag as a gift for me! We’d been looking at it during the day and it was on sale but I was so shocked I cried! Silly I know - they said they wanted to say how proud they are of me! It was so sweet of them!

I’m loving the sunshine and even have a bit of a tan which is unheard of for me lol

So tomorrow is a month since I started….I know I’m going to be on this for a while but I’m so proud of myself for getting this far and starting my journey!

Hope everyone is well!

Tc X

 

[willowfire365]

So I’ve got tomorrow here and then I go home Friday! I’ve loved the time here but I must admit the last few days I’ve found the evenings really hard. I’m still 100% but I really fancy plain cooked salmon at the moment. I know it’s something I shouldn’t do but it just seems to be a really strong craving which is really annoying as nearly all the restaurants here cook salmon fresh all the time! I think when I get home I’m going to give the soup a go as I think it’s savoury tastes I’m missing at the moment. It’s mad I don’t fancy anything like potatoes or bad food just salmon and I’m trying so desperately not to give in oh well back to my water and when my parents get back from their meal I think I’ll go for a cup of tea.

Hopefully a good nights sleep will help!

Tc X

 

[willowfire365]

So I thought I’d update again. Got back Friday at midnight due to a delay - by the time I got home it was far too late for my last shake. Yesterday (Sat) was fine - I had all my shakes and water and felt ok even tho it’s my tom! Today hasn’t been so good - I work on a Sunday morning early and I went to have my first shake - was in a bit of a rush and felt SO sick! Got nearly to the bottom and I was sick I didn’t throw it all up (sorry if it’s TMI!) but I couldn’t finish the small amount of shake left. I haven’t been able to drink a huge amount of water today either. Managed to get my lunch shake down but I had to go and lay down strait away otherwise I don’t think it would of stayed down. So one shake to go tonight and I’m really not looking forward to it because I still feel so sick.

This is the first time I’ve been sick on the shakes and felt this bad - also I’m feel so tired I could cry

So sorry this is a bit of a down post - hope everyone else is feeling better than me!

Tc X

 

[willowfire365]

So today is day 61!!! Omg I can't believe I've got this far completely 100%! I've been so rubbish at updating this cos I've ended up with a virus on my laptop but I wanted to update as I'm so happy I've got this far! It's so nice hearing the complements from people and feeling happier in my clothing I will admit it's not been easy as I miss chewing so much but as much as I miss eating and everything smells so good I would never sit and eat after the distance I've come I've brought myself my first pair of jeans too which is just incredible - granted they don't fit but each week there getting further up my legs haha they only cost me £10 but it's a big deal about another 3 months and I'll have them on when I leave the house! It's my birthday in 15 days and it's going to be weird not having a meal out with my friends but they have all been amazing and completely understand and I can't wait to see one of my friends who I haven't seen since I started

I really hope everyone is getting on well!

X

 

[Cham Pers]

You have done so well! I know what you mean about chewing thats what i miss too! Well that and the swallowing! Heehee anyways ur committment has been amazing and something i hope to aspire to! Im just a meager 25 days

 

[willowfire365]

Hi Cham thank you so much or your kind words it really does mean a lot. It's not easy but honestly you'll get there! Your doing fantastic already! I bet the difference is amazing already I'll make sure I keep up with how your getting on

Update for today - I'm sitting at the moment listening to my best mate devour an omelette that I made for her and my tummy is rumbling but I would never give in! I keep thinking each day is closer to the end! I keep thinking a few more weeks and I will get into my jeans! I must admit I want to get into the jeans more than anything at the moment! Nearly time for my next shake and then work - might brave the scales in the morning for a bit of a boost and I think it might even be time to take a new photo as my mate can see a difference again! Anyway time to tidy the kitchen before work!

Tc X

 

[Cham Pers]

Its hard isnt it when someone is tucking into something so delicious! what i just tell myself over and over again is that it will be me soon but im going to enjoy it much more than you because ive gone without food for this long and its made me appreciate everything that i m going to put in my mouth from now and forever. One thing for sure is im never going thro this again so i will make dam sure i watch my weight! You have done so well Willow and even today watching someone eat after all this time is a massive achievement! Your will power is enormous and inbreakable! Im crying right now not because of my emotions but because ive got dam facecream in my eyes! Ouch but its fitting tho! Everyone on this forum has done so blimmin well! Hands up to us all!

 

[willowfire365]

I completely agree with everything Cham - I don’t ever plan to do this diet again! Hope the face cream isn’t still stinging! How you feeling today?

I thought I’d update today tho as I had some amazing news…..I had my bloods done a few weeks ago and I got the results back today and all the results were normal for the first time in years!!!! I have a cholesterol level of 4.4! My doctor is so impressed and cant believe the change so fast and I also had my first vitamin B12 injection which hurt like hell and made me rather dizzy but hopefully it will work! Got another one scheduled for the 6th May…just hope my arm stops aching by then!

So I’ve got work soon so I’m off with a grin on my face Also I did something a little mad yesterday and I joined a free online dating site...thought it might give me some confidence and a chance to meet new people! So scary tho!

Hope everyone's having a good day!

X

 

[Cham Pers]

Ahh thats excellent news! In fact that is a very good count! Whats the b12 injection for though? Hope ur ok xxx

 

[Cham Pers]

P.s my dad met his 4th wife on an online dating site and she was lovely unfortunately she passed away recently with cancer but he couldnt have met anyone more perfect! So they do work x good luck

 

[willowfire365]

Hi Cham! I have M.E (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and I’ve been ill for about 11 years – they’ve found in the states that some patients with M.E react really well to vitamin B12 injections and it boosts energy levels and we wanted to give them a try. I’ve done a lot of treatments over the years and nothing has really helped but we’re hoping that this will even if it’s just a little! I do feel ok after the first one – seem to be a bit more alert which is great! Got to keep an account of how I get on with them and I’ve got another appointment with my doctor in May to see about another injection and to work out the distance apart I need them as it varies from person to person. It won’t make my joint pain or any of the other symptoms go away but it will be good to have a bit of extra energy!


For me to even think about dating is a huge deal – sounds weird I know but the idea of someone wanting to be with me doesn’t quite make sense yet! The sight I’ve joined seems to be good tho...it’s free which is always a plus...have had some interesting messages through from older men but I keep blocking those ones! Lol I’m so sorry about your dad’s wife – we’ve dealt with cancer in the family and it’s such a terrible illness. It sounds like she was wonderful.



So today’s diary - I have come down with a slight cough and sore throat thing tho but I’m so worried about taking anything in case it mucks up my kitosis – might have to email and see if I can actually take anything as I really don’t want to end up on antibiotics! I’ve got a busy fun 2 days planned so really looking forward to those – I’m finally getting better having my shakes in public places too now. I was so self-conscious to start with thinking everyone would stare but I’m getting a lot better now. Also I managed to finally get some Marks & Spencer fitted trousers yesterday! There in a bigger size than I normally wear but I think that’s cos there so structured but they feel really good – I did nearly rip them off my body earlier when I went to the loo....I’m not used to having a button and a zip to open haha



Anyway I better get back to my mate who’s staying – I cooked her lunch and thought I’d do this while she was eating but I’d better get back!


Hope everyone’s having a good day!


Keep strong! X

 

[Cham Pers]

Oh sorry to hear you have M.E that must be difficult to live with and of top of that doing this diet! I am seriously feeling so tired this week. Ive had a sore throat all week and feel poorly. It would be so easy just to have a little something to eat but no im staying strong even tho ive felt like my head is detached from my body! Gulp! Onwards and upwards have a good day tomorrow speak soon xx

 

[willowfire365]

Are you feeling any better now Cham? I have kinda got used to feeling tired to be honest! The diet does make me feel worse on some days it's sorta been ok.

Another update - I've ended up with a chest infection :-( I'm on clarithromycin - they've told me to eat on them or I'll get an upset stomach but I took one last night and although I got stomach ache it wasn't too bad so I hope it will be ok not eating! Off to work now - I normally teach for 4hrs in the pool and that kills me but I'm not getting in today as I don't think getting cold for 4 hrs will help my chest infection! I've not started yet but I already want my bed!

Hope everyone has a greet day!

X

 

[Cham Pers]

Ahhh poor you hope you get better soon thats awful! Im all better now if a little cheesed off running around after all the kids today without a mention of a thanku. Or a happy mothers day. I even had to make hubby breakfast in bed. Wat a fool i am. Oh well best keep running they'll be wanting lunch soon :-(

 

[willowfire365]

Oh Cham! I’m so sorry you’ve had to run about all day today, how old are your children? I really hope your day got a little better as it went on!

I hope I feel a bit better soon too! I worked this morning but on the side of the pool instead of the water but I feel a bit crappy now - got a lot of burning in my chest when I breath! I’m just praying the antibiotics work before Friday - having a fun birthday weekend! Lot’s of theatre and then my 25th birthday on the Monday! It’s so funny as I’m trying to work out where my mates can go to eat that’s nice on the days we’re out! I can’t let them go without a proper meal cos of me! Life is such fun haha As I said I hope this evening is better for you - I’m off to finish a photography portfolio - I’ve never done one before but I’m just trying to find a few of my pics I really love to put in there!


Hope you sleep well!

Tc X

 

[Cham Pers]

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday willow, happy birthday to you. Wish i was 25 again! Lol x

 

[Cham Pers]

Sorry 7 days to early lol will sing again for ya next week heehee x

 

[poppyseed]

Hi WF,

I've just read your diary and you sound so lovely! I reckon any Man who finds you on the dating site will be the luckiest man alive. Think positive and show your best bits - you've shown a lot on here and I hope you find a man who deserves someone as good as you :hug99:

PMSL at Cham's wrong singing :8855:

 

[willowfire365]

Haha Cham that made me laugh! Thank you for my song even if it's a week early How are you feeling today? thank you again! X

Hello poppyseed, thank you so much for your lovely message - it really ment so much to read. I am getting a lot of messages through on the dating site so I just need to get myself sorted and reply - silly I know! Hope your feeling good and I look forward to talking to you soon X

I also wanted to just post a bit of a diary update - I think I might be out of kitosis now cos of the antibiotics my tummy if grumbling SO bad! Also I think it's supposed to happen but i feel worse today too I had trouble last night cos I woke up and I couldn't breath - stupid body! I still haven’t had anything apart fm my shakes and water...my mate and my mum are unsure what’s best to do tho as there wondering if my body might need some extra nutrients to get over being ill but I'm kinda nervous about the idea of eating as I've done so well and I don’t want to spoil it now - oh well I guess I'll see how I get on with just the shakes and speak to the pharmacy on Thursday - all good fun! lol

Hope everyone is well.

Tc X

 

[Cham Pers]

Personally after reading betsy botox diary i dont think we do need a little extra of anything she had an operation and over the 35 weeks had colds and flu etc and stuck to it 100% and made it thro. You just need the antibiotics and an enhaler maybe?? I hope u feel better soon its horrible when u can breathe i had pnuemonia a couple of years ago and a collapsed lung infact i didnt eat a morsal fir two weeks and i recovered! Lots of TLC needed and bed rest me thinks! (((hugs)))