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Hello all, I was a user on minimins before, but only just returned. Since then, I have yo-yoed between binges, eating little or running lots. I am yet to achieve stability. I have ordered 4 weeks worth of slim and save packs because I feel I need a break from ''real food'' - the last two weeks...

Hi good to hear from you both. Bananas - I know what you're saying. And I don't mean to say yeah whatever has been eaten is fine don't worry about it. The idea is that the more intuitive, honest and present we are regarding our food choices, the less likely we would choose to eat something...

Had a good week this week. Less than two weeks until tough mudder. Been eating healthily and exercising quite a bit. Did have a lot of vodkas on Saturday but not defining it as bad it's what I wanted at the time. I have been relatively low carb but did eat a lot of carbs last night as was just...

hey thanks for checking in - I am ok - been reading more around mindfullness and just learning to take each day as a separate day and realising how pointless it is to worry, plan and attempt to enforce rules on myself all the time. I feel like I am slowly learning to listen to my true desires...

Good amount of time you have there to see results before your hols. Ignore the blips, every day is a fresh day and a new moment in which we can choose to make feel good choices x

woowww yeah this is a huge thing for you not to weigh! Have faith in how you feel over what the scales tell you x

Hi Kira, Also think it may be worth looking for another consultant there must be loads in London. If the person doesn't care I would be opposed to lining her pocket.. X

I'm really sorry if I have contributed to the negative feeling resurfacing and having to take a break from this site. I can relate to a lot of what you said in your thread and here; the anorexia and bulimia is something I've battled with too. I'm glad it didn't get the better of you. And it is...

I feel so much better having done the class. Bags more energy. Just walking back now. I didn't out total effort in but still was good and I do feel I am getting stronger gradually and can begin to feel my muscles again. I expect too much too soon quite often and really I've only been back to...

Feeling so full up and hoping that jumping around in the class will be possible and won't make me feel sick. Was just on phone to a friend and realise how exhausted and foggy brained I am as I could barely hold the conversation. Looking forward to get all of this binge out of my system and...

Well I ended up having porridge, chicken slices, apple and ryvitas on top of 2 exante packs and a protein shake. I don't think I should impose rules on myself as I only rebel. I haven't eaten badly today but I would have been better off not having the exante packs and learning to eat normally...

So far today I've had 3 teas with skimmed milk (decaf) and a couple of bits of broccoli that were in the fridge. I figured broccoli never did anyone any harm! Am feeling very sleepy still. I know it's from all the bingeing. I am ready to move on and am looking forward to how I will feel after...

It begins! I've had a couple of tea and skimmed milk. Will have an exante pack later before my class! The empty feeling is great on a vlcd. I think I am going to dinner friday but even three days of it will help won't it. How long do you plan to do this?

Oh dear looks like a few of us are in this position. We know te drill - the longer we self deprecate and dwell the longer the binge will last. If you want to exante for a few days I'll be with you on that xx

Ahh that'll be nice you get to go and say goodbye to him. Well worth the trip. The letting go part made me think of this... Sometimes we have to embrace and accept things that aren't ideal in life xxx

The thing is the exercise is also for training - I have tough mudder in 5.5 weeks which is a 12 mile obstacle course. So I need to exercise. I think when i was exercising I actually haven't been eating much at all so wasn't using as a trade off but I definitely have done that in the past. And...

That's interesting. But I must say the amount of binges I've started with an innocent apple are plentiful. Sometimes I start with healthy food but progress to the carbs. That's a great market though

I would love to join you and lose a stone. I wouldn't be weighing in until the end though.

I agree with that. My only query would be - high impact exercise. When I do lots of exercise vegetables and protein just don't seem to be enough energy wise for me. It's interesting that you say I have a carb addiction. Probably easy to see from the outside. I think I really do. I've never...

Oh and the watercress thing: I read something earlier that said you can tell when you feel real hunger because you would be happy to eat most things but binge or emotional cravings are sugar, carbs, fats etc

Thank you for that post serial. The story about the jelly blocks is one I will think back to. I know what you mean about the carbs. And maybe the crackers were triggering to an extent. I just can't imagine eating no carbs. I don't think it's sustainable. But really the crackers offer little...

This is quite a good article for tips on bouncing back after a binge: http://growinghumankindness.com/how-to-recover-from-a-food-or-sugar-binge/

Left work early as was just falling asleep and feeling sick all day. I won't go to the class I doubt I would be very good at it feeling like this and might make the quad strain worse. Sickness is passing which is good. Just need to not binge again it's not worth it. I struggle to just have a...

Hey no I'm only unwell from the binge. So much food consumed. It's gross and makes me feel awful. It's the whole box of cereal that probably finished me off and it was alpen so it's quite heavy. Feel awful. Manage to drink about 2.5 glasses of water. Oh and the things I forgot to add to that...

Trying hard to look at positive but feel so sick and constantly falling asleep today. Not good. I can barely drink water even

I was pretty much on and off sleeping from 3pm yesterday to about 7am this morning. Waste of time really but it was like I was on a food high. Crazy really. I feel really dehydrated this morning and a bit sick but my stomach and face aren't puffy as I would have expected. I don't think I've...

I binged today. I was just exhausted. I wanted to stay in bed and just rest and watch films but had to be downstairs for a while which is when the kitchen was just all too close and full of all too much food. Oddly enough I still avoided bread but ate a pretty horrendous amount. It included a...

I actually forgot about how good ketosis is for reducing the appetite. It is a very useful tool but looks like you're doing what works for you. There's no rush for the weight to come off really is there? I know as fast as possible is great but but the main thing is that it actually comes off and...

Wore the trousers I wore last week again last night. They don't feel like they've got looser in the week. Maybe a bit less muffin top. I can't expect everything so soon. It's only been two weeks since ive been back on track.

Yep you're right I know they don't offer much but they allow me to satisfy cravings for carbs just enough and yes I think this month I'm avoiding bread to try and work out how much it contributes to the bloat and bingeing.

Big well done on the alcohol free nights. I didn't think about the sparkling water causing bloat - I've been bloated too and that could be why although today and yesterday I had still water and tummy is way flatter so makes sense!

Yesterday was a good day. Had quite a bit for breakfast so skipped lunch just has a few milky coffees and a banana around 5. I then did a lovely 9 mile run to my friends house I felt really good and much stronger and faster. At my friends house I had a cod fillet, salad, a bit of rice and...

Ahh thanks. Yes I am getting there! That was a one off job with the long shifts so I guess I'm lucky that my regular job isn't so tiring.

Yes you're right. I didn't restrict. Had another really long day so would have been silly to. I didn't have breakfast but had a big salmon and chicken salad at lunch. I got home late and had some broccoli, crackers, 2 boiled eggs, grapes and tomatoes. I didn't have much time to eat it. Today I...

Thank you for that post serial. It's true normal people do this! And I did wake up and think ok how can I cut back today but normal people wouldn't do that they would just get on with it and listen to their body and only eat less if less hungry. I can't impose rules on myself again. And to be...

Self deprivation is definitely a big part. So something we have to change along with any weight loss. It's almost more important. Today I worked an exhausting 12 hour shift and walked about 1.5 hours and was on feet most of the day. During the day I ate: 2 apples Sliced salmon (quite large...

That's really interesting you said the old way doesn't work so something has to change. It's an idea quite hard to accept as somehow we seem to convince ourselves that this time it's going to work despite nearly identical process.

I agree the support and understanding is invaluable. I can't imagine what I would have done without this site at certain times. Have you been on here long?

Gosh yes I much more understand why the GP leaving is such a big blow now. Well you have a plan so that's great and I am excited for you because losing this weight clearly is a big life changer for you as it will have a knock on effect for these things. I don't have any other advice to offer but...

Thanks for your words and the encouragement. You speak wisely. I will definitely try adding an egg. So you add a raw one and just microwave? I ended up having a whole broccoli floret with a slice of Edam cheese on top and quite a few slices of sliced chicken and 2 ryvitas and cucumber. It...

Oh that makes sense I had wondered why it wasn't mentioned xx

Do you have and support for the agoraphobia? That can't be easy x

It sounds so straight forward when you put it like that and i really think it can be. I have to work late the next two days so no exercise until Friday which is annoying but it's fine really I'll just run Friday and go to a class Saturday morning. I hardly are today I ran out of time - had 2...

That is interesting. And yes I used to do that technique of alcoholic drink followed by soft drink or water and it did work so will try it again! Maybe the weekend after this I think I should keep going on this healthy thing!

Thanks. It really does make sense! And the benefits are showing. I have to realise I won't see some dramatic benefit each day when I maintain but just need to remind myself that each day is in itself a benefit... To feel good and be healthy is enough motivation. It shouldn't be all about size...

Don't be ashamed. You are addressing it. Why did it happen? Try and work out how it got to happen and how it could be prevented next time and then you can call it a learning experience instead of a blip! X

Lots of sugar! Thats the thing with being I'll when your body is recovered or recovering it will certainly push the "get me energy and fast" buttons. I remember after the marathon I kept wanting to eat sugary stuff way more than usual as I usually overeat on carbs if I am gonna and I am sure it...

Just finished a class and walking home. Realised it's now two weeks since my first class and I can't believe how far I have come. I was about to faint from heat and tiredness two weeks ago and now I'm raring to go and my core, legs and sprints are all noticeably better. Today I had an apple...

Unusual isn't it? Maybe our bodies are reacting to the change in diet as it's still early days. Alcohol withdrawal haha?! I will try and drink more water but thought I was - have a 1L bottle now so will plan at least 2.5 a day plus I am having teas - usually decaf

Ahh it deleted my post but my gist was yea we have to not compare all the time and appreciate where we are now or else even at goal we wouldn't be happy x

Gosh I am so bloated! I don't know what the cause is I presume it's something in my diet but I've just been having salads, ryvita and chicken the last few days plus milk in teas and some fruit. Maybe it's because two days in a row I waited a long time to eat so it made it harder for my body to...

I am really bloated. I have been all day. Some people are more susceptible to bloat I guess but bloat is just a temporary thing. It's led me to despair and binge many times needlessly. It's one of the things we must remember and master for long term maintenance and happiness x

Thanks. Yes I am sure they will loosen up I am trying not to worry about it and just get on with getting fit.

Ahhh I am really happy if I sound inspirational. Yes exercise really is the key. I hope we will keep in touch on here as we maintain and get fitter and fitter! Everytime I get back into exercise I wonder why I ever stopped.

I'm here! Do you have a garden you can sit in when you have to stay in? The weather is very motivating to get in shape isn't it!! X

It is scary isn't it. It's more a constant battle with the mind rather than battle with the bulge. Wearing tight size 10 jeans today. Right around the waist but still very wearable. Did a short jog of about 2.8 miles and then walked about 5 more with friends as they couldn't run much! But...

Thanks ladies :-) about to do a walk / jog now too

Ah well done Kira :-) the sparkling water but made me smile as that is what I was ordering in pubs yesterday!! Or teas. It feels good to make the choices that you thought through and know are best for you :-) x

Had a good Saturday - saw friends and had a nice sober catch up. Here's what I had/did: 1 cracker and 1 banana 1.5 hour bootcamp class 1 yoghurt Walking around London- 1.5 hours? Salad with a few new potatoes, egg and tuna Salad with chicken breast Throughout the day: lots of teas with...

Thanks Kira and serial. Really do feel so different now that my mindset is improved. Z

Thank you :-) yours too. What's most interesting to me is how the mind changes everything. A week and a half ago I felt hideous. Now I feel pretty ok with myself. My body must have changed a bit - but my mind changed loads! Got to get ready for a class now eeek. You have a great day too x

I've been to two classes this week and did a 7 mile jog. Haven't had time to do more reading but plan to. Have a class today too. I've been avoiding sugary things (other than fruits) and having lot of vegetables, bean based salads, fish, chicken and ryvitas. And I have been into the office a...

Yes that is one of the great things about this site isn't it. It's really lovely. And it is good to talk and get all of these thoughts out of out heads.

I don't think it's necessary to tell my parents and it would add no benefits to either of us. My friend once told my brother and his wife about me when I was throwing up loads and it made me feel so much worse and made them just watch me a bit more but they didn't get it it was all pointless...

Yes that's exactly what I am trying to do - take things moment by moment. I keep stopping myself when I slip into the automatic thoughts - like the other day I tried on some of my running shorts and they were skin tight. I immediately found myself trying to work out how quickly I can lose...

I suppose but I just know there are certain things I can't open up to my parents about. When I went away for my month trip they were so worried that they weren't sleeping properly! They really really worry more than anyone's parents I know! And yea I am 29!

Sorry that you're not very well :-( My dad is such a worrier. He's very loving and caring but anything I tell him will make him worry more so I avoid telling him anything that would upset him. I agree opening up about things totally helps me not internalise though. Yesterday I went to work and...

serial "We make a prison for ourselves without meaning to, and carry it everywhere we go" is it exactly. The rules, the telling yourself off and self hate. Interesting that you said the other day and now about avoiding certain foods because of what they do for you not because you label them...

Oh I am glad it's all being looked into. I have fallen arches and bunions hehe! Hope you have another good day today x

I think that's true. And I think a big reason getting to rock bottom happens is because of all the rules. I want to live a life without rules on myself. I want to go more with what I want to do. And therefore I won't have to crazily eat when I break eating rules or crazily drink when I drink...

It is such a lovely morning you're right and does help loads x

Yesterday was a better day. Spent it with my family and walked a lot. Ate lots of chicken and only carbs I had were veges, ryvita and fruit. I Can actually do no stodgy bread and low sugar I know I can. And I am doing the no alcohol until May too. As I am going to go to lots of classes I think...

My feelings exactly!!

Yes this is true. It's part of the whole all or nothing thinking really. I'm just going to say that for this month I will avoid bread and alcohol and workout as much as I feel able to. And water water water. I certainly need to explore cooking a lot more. And googling low carb recipes seems...

This was a really interesting post to read. And the amount of things we seem to share is comforting. That's a hard set of things you have had to deal with. It's lovely how you can talk openly here and I can see you have worked out a lot about yourself and your relationship with food. The part...

Hi everyone. Well I went out of Friday night and if I am honest I pretty much drank non stop all weekend and only came home for about 12 hours. So pretty much 3 nights and days in a row of drinking. I got quite low at one point but I just drank more and was the life and soul of the night out as...

Thanks for sharing this with me seriel. What a story. And what a large amount you lost. That must take so much to stick to low card for a year and a half. I think I am also an addict when it comes to carbs. That's sad that you don't speak to anyone for so long. I think you mentioned on your...

That sounds sensible to do a plan you can stick to. I might join you in weighing in 12 days as am also not in a position where I want to weigh myself! Hope the plan works out for you :-) enjoy your eggs hehe

The treatment sessions sound like a great idea and I think something we should do more often. Help us with our maintenance and with the whole working on the inside us too :-) xx

I totally agree with you. It makes so much sense. And this is what I was discovering during my month away alone. It is such a better way to live. And feels far more like living and appreciating what we have. Thanks for that post x

Hi Yoyo and Kira Thanks for taking the time to post your thoughts. I have to say you are both absolutely right. And Kira- I did just re read my post on your thread and yep it's another case of me being great at giving advice but inwardly so bad at giving myself such objective advice. The advice...

Hello! It feels more the opposite really as the seeing the numbers would really scare me!

Wow 43.5lb in 12 weeks is pretty amazing :-) I'll be here to follow your remaining journey! X

Hello hello! Checking in to follow all your progresses :-) I started on Sunday don't know start weight but fear it was around 11stone. I will weigh myself after 2 or 3 weeks! Goal is 9stone7 or less x

Well I must admit it. I felt like total crap at my second class today. I tried hard to not let it get to me but I was disgustingly unfit and I am so much bigger than I thought. These gym trousers that were too loose for me a month ago and now skin tight again. I hate it. I'm so angry with...

Was really bored working from home today so in my lunch break I went to get my eyebrows threaded. And now I'm having a break - and my second pack - with a face mask on. I really should use these more often. I have loads of them but I never use them. They are nice flavours too hehe not that I eat...

I totally know how you feel with your run - BUT it's a fantastic thing that a few months ago 10k was quite easy - this means you will still have the underlying fitness. Mind talk really has a lot to with all of this - maybe this is why this forum is so good because we all seem to be very good at...

Hi Kira - lovely to hear from you - have just posted on your diary xxx

Hi Kira. What a whirlwind of things it you've been experiencing. For me, reading around mindfulness has been helping - whenever I actually practice the techniques. May not suit everyone but I feel because it has helped me a bit i should mention it - and although it's only helped a bit I feel...

Just read through your diary. Can relate to a lot. I actually miss when I used to live alone as I loved when I had the urge to eat a lot but didn't have any unhealthy food in the house. I can totally relate to the hot cross bun scenerio. To be honest i think you've still done so well despite...

Don't say that you can't do it anymore. You can. You definitely can. You can say that more so than someone who has never before. I read something earlier that struck a chord with me: we must feel what we feel now in this present moment but not link it with past memories. That way it's not...

Found you.... Will have a read through later :-)

Well done for keeping the stone off :-) I will be happy to get a stone off... and keep it off!! Welcome!!

Well what a post... thank you for sharing your views. Reading it all back really made me feel that a. the whole process is both absurd and predictable (the phrase ''insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results'' comes to mind), b. I think I too am a carb junkie, and c. That...

Hello thanks for stopping by :-) nice to have you!!

Yea that's exactly it isn't it. I also find food makes me so happy. But only for the moment. It's such a conflicted way to live. I really love being slim and always want to be slimmer but also love food as much as I try I deny that I do. I guess this is where the answer lies: we have to be...

I've got through the day having had several cups of tea with soya milk, a protein shake, and an exante chicken soup. I feel positive again. I can do this. I'm excited for my body to look more how I want it to. I have two months until I have tough mudder. I know I can do a lot in two months...

Woke up feeling very sick. Broken sleep as usual after eating immense amounts. I feel big. PJ trousers even feel right. I cannot believe how much I can eat. So much I can't move! I've pottered around today and just having tea and drinks. Might have a pack tonight. Determined to come back to...

I have binged so so badly :-( I feel totally out of control. I'm scared of weight gain so much. I've said no to nights out last night and tonight as I have eaten so much you would not believe me if I listed it. No one would. I'm so upset yet I wanted to do it. I wanted to eat all day. My parents...

Well I went out after work as planned. I didn't eat all day. And I drank LOADS. My friend bought me a subway at end of the night. And I came home and ate loads of crisps. So let's call today day one. I seriously cannot just have one drink. I'm excited to start the diet, in two weeks I'll be...

Ahhh thanks so much. Means a lot :-)

Thanks :-)

Ahhh thanks so much for the support - what kind of program are you doing? Running really is great and half the problem solved really. That's actually a really basic yet not enacted thing - responding to hunger. Can't say I've been responding to hunger at all. More just general urges to eat

Thanks :-) Hopefully we will encourage eachother I took some before pics this morning. I'm not like how I was before I started in September/October so all is not lost. But will use them to measure progress again over next few weeks

An extra few bars is far better than a real binge though isn't it. So massive well done :-)

I want this to be the last day I wake up full up and sickly from a binge the day before. My poor body! It's making me miserable and exhausted. No more! Excited to get back on track. I know tho time next week I'll be miles better. Day 1-7 plan: Daily 3-4 exante packs Day 1 Thursday - work...

Hey big well done. :-) I'm Back!! Will be joining you with the packs and exercise x

Hello - I am starting tomorrow (although have to go to work drinks but still going to count it as day one as it's a day not bingeing!!) I have about 1.5 stone maybe 2 to lose (will not weigh myself for about 3 weeks or so I think) Would love to do this together :-) I'll be exercising too so...

Hello. I've been the same :-( tomorrow just never is day 1 it's always the last day of eating. I'm done with it and I want a change. And coming back on here is a big step. Don't disappear. Let's do day 1 together.

Sorry to hear about your half but use it to appreciate the next even more :-) you're doing so well even if you don't feel it at times you're still being very reasonable with food and reporting it all here. I agree with serielslimmer: maybe some of us are sensitive to carbs. Got me wondering...

Hi Kira how are you doing? See you've gone back to Cambridge. Makes a lot of sense as you had a good consultant before and it is supportive isn't it. Hope it's going well. Guess I'm back to vlcd again too!!!! X

Hello yes I remember. I totally know how you feel. Maybe it's best two weigh in after a week or so back on track. I waited two weeks to weigh in when I last did a vlcd. I am so embarrassed to be back and bingeing again. Things were good but my binges over took and every day became my last day...

Hello all. Thank you for your words I just read them all now and re read my last post. I can honestly say I feel very differently from my last post. There was a significant moment when I was on the beach wearing a bikini with shorts and to shirt on top, longing to go into the sea but knowing...

Well I started doing really well and things were really starting to 'click', and I genuinely started to accept myself and this actually led to a desire to not starve, diet or binge. I then went out a lot from new years eve for 5 days. I feel like (although I had fun) it did disrupt: - my focus...

how was the group was it any good?

Oh thanks so much for sharing. Of course I can relate to that. I think the starting point is to appreciate the here and now and not dwell on what has passed. If we continually dwell on the past and tell ourselves we are binge eaters that's exactly what we will be. I hope you like the book...

I have been doing a lot of reading and reflecting on life and myself. And I really am becoming far more present and positive. I intend to continue. One thing I read that really struck me was that if you keep focusing on something whether is positive or negative - and expect it - you'll become it...

Hi!!

That sounds so positive kira. Look forward to hearing all about that :-) x

Happy Xmas to you too.. :-) I binged yesterday. Was quite a big one. I think I just wanted to eat and couldn't stop. Maybe in anticipation of this food season. Or maybe so that I felt sick today so hopefully can't eat much. Whatever it is it's happened and I won't dwell. I feel rubbish...

It's not a book about eating but reading "the power of now" has really helped my perspective x

Been eating a bit more than I am comfortable with but I have been sitting around at home and recovering from being sick so it's ok. I got myself pretty much better. Went for first run in 11 days yesterday which was slow but good. On my way to work now and plan to run on the way home.

I private messaged u x

I've found reading about energy and mindfulness is helping me keep away from bingeing too actually. Trying to really think about how life can be more positive, and appreciating living in the moment rather than getting stuck in my head going over the same thoughts, or stuffing thoughts and...

Wow 2 stone lighter. amazing. Do you use the nike running app by the way? Could add eachother if so!!

Thanks. I'm due back to work on Tuesday... I am forcing myself to have a quiet weekend... This is the hard part because i feel well enough to go out... But my body is still healing really

Thanks :-) the mindset is the key and running is fundamental to that. Which is something you've reminded me of for a long time.

I've been eating a bit more than I would like... I am still not that well but clearly my appetite has come back. But it's nowhere near as bad as it could have been. I'm just eating a bit more but that's probably because I'm at home all day so in a way it's natural and I can't run so it's just...

Ahh thanks so much for your feedback. It's reassuring!!!

Pictures!!! Right first here is week 8 vs week 12: Secondly here is week 0 vs week 12: I still have big hips as you can see!! Running will help with that. I don't mind having toned big hips. I am cheating slightly because my tummy is probably so flat because I'm dehydrated...

I was actually going to take my week12 snaps tomorrow and post them alongside week0... If I am well enough!

Thank you. Reassuring to hear as I'm never quite sure when to believe my own interpretations when it comes to my figure! I am eating carbs as I am on so many antibiotics and ibuprofen so it's probably wise. I am hoping maybe by the weekend I'll be well enough to run. I am signed off work all...

Yep I learnt my lesson about pushing my body. I will run again just not right now! Thanks :-) yea I felt good in the dresses and a lot slimmer

Oh dear sorry to hear all that. Glad they seem to have been rather temporary bugs. How long has your son been unwell? Hope you get some good advice x

Yea it's horrible. Yes the dress made me feel good. Let me post the pics: And this is my outfit from Friday (the night I totally shouldn't have been out!!) I am annoyed that I cannot go jogging now as was just starting to like my body more and feel toned. But what can I do I...

Oh dear me too!! What's wrong?

Well I've officially reached breaking point. I felt absolutely awful and had to call nhs. Been given anti biotics and an inhaler as I couldn't breathe. I can't speak as glands and throat all swollen. Yesterday I managed to eat quite a lot of cream crackers with chicken slices and tomato...

I feel so unwell. Sore throat, shivers, fever... I went out last night and was waiting for a night bus in the cold in early hours... Was a fun night though. Had exante pack yesterday, Special K crisps, lots of vodka diet cokes, Came home and needed warm food so had a bowl of beans and a bowl...

A lot can be achieved both menu and physically in ten days. Smile, breathe and believe in yourself achieving this! X

Urghhh feel so rough again. Shivering and feverish. And nauseous. And the sore throat is back. Really want to go out tonight. Well at least it reduces my appetite!!!

Ok I also had an apple and some raisins when I came in. Now I'm in bed... Gosh it's cold!!!! 45 days to go!

So today: 10 raisins/ nut Exante pack 2 vodka diet cokes About 3-4 spoonfuls of prawn biriani 1 bite of a pompadom 2 small spoonfuls of a lamb potato and spinach curry Yeah I definitely don't like Indian food... But I tried it as it was rude not to. I hope what I had was relatively...

Oh dear that sounds tough. I hope things pick up. Hey never apologise for posting here this is YOUR diary it's exactly what it's for xx

I had an exante pack for breakfast and about 9 raisins and a pecan nut (I picked them out of cereal!) I was thinking that might help my stomach settle somehow. Going to an Indian restaurant tonight - not usually a fan of that cuisine but will try it and see what healthy options are. I tried...

46 days to go!

Today I've had Mushroom soup exante Red chilli exante 2 eggs mixed with tin of tuna 5 raisins (random but was needed before my run!!!) Tea with milk: several I ran 8.1 miles... I'm feeling nauseous again. I don't know if I need to eat something else tonight. Maybe another pack im...

Hmmm I've been reading online and I am thinking it could be the low calories along with running are causing the nausea. Will keep an eye!! But I've never experienced it before doing VLCD.

Ahhhh wow that's such lovely news to hear I am so happy that you've made it to goal and are maintaining but most of all that you are not stressing about it and just living your life and relaxing. Being busy does probably help a lot!! Massive well done. Such an inspiration :-) I am ok, still...

Thanks Yes photos are just a visual reminder of or bad places. Times we want to forget. But I suppose we should remember them so that we never go back there!!! It will be worth it. I look forward to updating you all when I'm away in South east Asia and feeling good in my skin :-)

No I'm def not hehe!

What a cutie!!!

You've vanished?! Are you ok miss?x

One bad day is just that; one bad day. You have come on here and fessed up, acknowledge the negatives it brought you and looked ahead to tomorrow. It only becomes a big deal if we let it be. Yeah You'll feel bloated today and tomorrow but You know what? The day after you'll feel just fine. Well...

Exactly - it's totally different. I'm really impressed with you anyway. You should be too. This is how we will maintain. It's not being extreme it's just living life but still keeping control x

Oh also I think I will brave up and weigh myself on Tuesday....

So today was my work Xmas party... I didn't attend the meal, and stayed about an hour and 45 mins and just had one diet coke while most other people were getting drunk. I got home about 8pm and then had 2 exante packs for energy and headed out for my 7.1 mile run. I can't run Thursday and Friday...

Aaaw thanks what motivating words and such a positive way to look at it :-)

48 days to go... Much less bloated today so could have been totm making me feel worse. Having a tea now. It's going to be hard doing 25 miles a week in this cold!

Today I had: Exante mushroom risotto Exante spaghetti bolognese 1 single vodka and diet coke Several teas with semi skimmed milk (need to go and buy some other milk!) Jogged 7.1 miles in 1h20mins. I don't know if it's due to totm but extra fat looking today. I really feel unhappy with my...

44 lighter than last year is amazing! Sounds like a stressful day, I hope it gets easier. Don't feel bad about not seeing the phone calls, it was unintentional! X

Gosh. I just saw my friends Facebook account. She has so many pics on there of me from summer time. I hadn't seen them until now as I'm not on Facebook or any of that stuff. The pics are hideous. I look awful. I'm so upset that other people have seen them. I hate it. I had planned to camera...

That's excellent. You're very close to your goal. 9s8 is a great weight. I don't know what I weigh but I fear it's more like 10st! I think I will weigh myself in 2 weeks time..... Actually I will... Gives me something to work towards; so that's Monday 22nd December... Weigh day eeek!!!

Was just clearing my wardrobe and tidying for last 2.5 hours. And I found all my crop tops that I was able to wear 13 months ago. Gosh, I so badly wish I could wear them. If I could wear them by the time I go away in 50 days that would be awesome. I don't know if it's unrealistic. I should...

I guess if we are good 80% of the time, 20% of social splurging is ok. It's very different from bingeing- it's enjoying life and sharing with others. It may not be ideal to the waistline but it could be a lot worse and so long as we don't let it trigger a pointless sororal of guilt and eating, I...

Seriously this season it's so difficult to stay on track. I'm hoping to get the last bit of weight off. I think maintaining / losing requires more motivation in this season but just means we can feel all the more proud for doing it!! How many miles per week are you running now a days?

Yes can def work our way to target. I'm using the app so can't see your stats- what is your target? Had a peak at your thread sorry to hear you're going through such a stressful patch x

Day is over and I managed: Breakfast / lunch: 1 tin tuna Tomato sauce Spring onions 4.5 miles run Dinner / evening: 2 exante spaghetti bolognese packs 2 skinny pasta Semi skim milk in tea

Seem to be back on track. Had a good run yesterday and ate vegetables, 2 tins of tuna and some leftover tomato pasta sauce. That's all I had all day so along with a really enjoyable 7mile run, I should have removed at least some of the binge calories. This morning I had tuna, spring onions...

I binged all day yesterday. But I was going to eat the last things in the eve but I stopped. I remembered how fat I was 2.5 months ago. How awful that was. How my life was all about food. And I made a conscious decision that NO I don't want that. So today I will go for a run after work and...

I binged too. And I know where binges take us... And it's not to a good place. So I had a word with myself this morning and I am not going to ruin my life by getting depressed about the binge and letting it escalate. It will only get worse. If you make the rest of the week good it won't...

Yeah. So annoyed with what I ate yesterday. Argh. Will try and do a good run later but haven't slept much! The counselling is off. They said they can't see me as I wasn't available when they were able to offer me slots. They said I'll have to be referred again.

I came home really drunk and I binged. I had about 4 ryvita and margarine, 2 cheese slices, 2 pitta bread, 2 slices of bread with margarine, 3 eggs, 6 mini breaded chicken prices, small bowl of dried fruit based cereal with semi skimmed milk. I'm angry with myself. I did it because I was drunk...

I know what you mean. We need to find a way to continually find that motivation though so that we don't have to get to a bad place to push us. It would be nice if we kept motivated all the time to feel good and make good choices, or maybe that's too much to expect ?

Feel much less chubby and bloated today. Just shows a lot of it is mental. I ate crackers this morning with margarine - not the most nourishing thing. Oh and a spring onion! Also had tea and semi skimmed milk. But there was a key moment where I realised I had a lot of time left until I had to...

That's exactly the feeling I have now!!!

I had 800 cals and did a 7 mile jog and was planning not to eat anything else but then I ate lots of crackers with tuna margarine cucumber and a bit of cheese. I don't know how many crackers but a lot. Annoyed as it's carbs. But I'm drinking tomorrow I suppose I need it. I'm really unhappy with...

Thanks I will try to remind myself. Feeling so rubbish today. Hoping it's totm tomorrow and that will explain it along with the bloat. It's been 50days since last period. They are ridiculously irregular!

Bravo!!! So rewarding to see improvements isn't it!

Thanks! I couldn't sleep. My throat is still sore a week on. I've somehow ended up eating the last exante bar I have (yeah at 3.30am) Hopefully it will somehow help me sleep. I'm so bloated really don't feel slim at all. It could be dehydration following on from being sick last week...

Today I had: Exante Thai chicken soup Bowl of broccoli Bowl of carrots Exante spaghetti bolognese Exante bar Milk in tea Couldn't run because my thighs feel really sore. Hopefully I can run tomorrow.

Omg it's only 56 days until I leave for my month away!!!! That's really not long. I am really not that bothered to go now. And I can't afford it. I've only booked flights so better get saving for the rest ASAP. And getting my bikini body sorted but the running and using up the VLCD packs should...

You know the deal: takes 3500 cals extra to gain just 1 pound of fat. So we are in the realm or water weight, fear not!! X

Yes exactly. Actually I thought about it and I actually see that there's no point in weighing myself. A good result will be unlikely to be good enough to make me happy (it would have to be 9st9 or less to please me) and a bad result will just depress me as at least now I can guess that I might...

Also I am thinking about weighing myself tomorrow morning... Really unsure whether to... Last weigh in was November 1st and I was 10st3...

Yep you're absolutely right. I really need exercise to keep me in check. And that way I still get to have a social life. I'm meant to meet friends later which means leaving at 5 but was also hoping to do a run the route I did yesterday but that'll take me about 1.5 hours. Maybe a bit less. So...

Otherwise we will end up missing al of the social events every year. What fun will that be! I think I'll be on the meandering too

Married life suddenly doesn't sound all that fun! X

Glad to read you are doing well and staying on track. It's great to actually look back and recognise what we have lost; and even better when it comes in a nice rewarding and easy to remember format like 3 stones in 3 months! Nice to have a dress to work towards. I was considering doing that but...

Hi how are you doing? Are you all better now? Hope so. I've just recovered from tonsillitis myself ... It's the sick season!! Xx

Ah well done. I really must get up early enough on a Saturday to get to one of those again. In think I managed 3 ever!!!

Nice to wake up feeling less full. Must remember that next time I want to over eat. Will try and go for another jog today. I'm meeting friends for dinner later but I won't eat - my throat is still sore so I'll just say that's why. I'm using these whitening moulds for 5 days. You have to...

Write it out in a diary. Call a friend. Write it here. Anything to get it out in a less destructive way than food. Sorry that you're going through this down time x

Thanks :-) Today has been ok. I've had: Exante Shepard's pie with skinny pasta Tiny bit of cottage cheese Chicken and chopped carrots I have had an upset stomach all day from the binge yesterday as it was so many mixtures of food. I also ran for 7 miles.

I attempted to do a VLCD day today but I failed in the eve when I was still feeling blurgh and there was pasta in the fridge. Day one always seems so easy to just dismiss. But I ate so much more than I would have if I wasn't trying to VLCD - the whole rebellion thing. Definitely a massive over...

Yes fitness increase and focus is what helped us both. As long as we don't do anything extreme it's really ok to meander a bit. We will get where we want to x

This is the thing they aren't high amounts just all add up. I'll just stop being so generous. You live and learn. And once I've got a week out of the way I will kinda be even with myself! I'm going to try and go to work tomorrow. Hating laying around the house but still don't feel good. I have...

I'm Going to give it a serious try!! No plans this weekend except a dinner on Sunday but I'll just tell them I'm saving money and I won't eat. And no plans the following week except may meet a date or two if I feel better, but it's probably their treat! I realise I have a problem asking people...

Gonna have to take another sick day. Hate feeling so slobby. Might try and go for a jog if feel well enough to tonight. Really do want to use my last month of VLCD packs, plus it will help me save money which I seem to be haemorrhaging these days. I'm going to attempt to spend no money at all...

Still feeling rough but at least I haven't been able to eat much!! Yesterday I had 2 slim a soups, about 6 crackers, 1.5 chicken thighs in my soup, 1 smallish jacket potato and cottage cheese with lettuce. Actually sounds like more than I thought now that I've written it out. Would like to...

Thank you I don't feel much better. Managed a cup a soup today that's all. I can't really afford all that spending. I get carried away and too generous!!

Ugh having a sick day today. Will try and avoid eating much. Hopefully that'll be easy with a sore throat! Worked out I spend £250 Friday and Saturday night on nothing really just entry and alcohol and cabs. Really need to stop that!!!

I don't feel well ? sore throat and temp. Must recover by weekend. I think all those nights out have caught up with me. I feel very full up, chubby and bloated. Definitely want to eat as little as possible between now and the weekend. I cancelled my date which was meant to be tomorrow evening...

Right I've eaten so much more than I should have. I think I need to VLCD again and just up the calories on days I drink.

Ended up going out on Friday and Saturday night. Didn't eat Friday really just drank, Saturday I had a healthy protein and veg meal, Sunday I came home and ate so much food- including cereal, bread, crackers, muller rice, chicken, potatoes. I wouldn't call it a binge though really as I was aware...

Ok so I didn't eat anything else today other than the lots of chicken and carrots around lunch time. Not hungry at all anyway and feel quite bloated. Hoping it's totm but my periods are so irregular I never really know when it's coming! I also did a jog of about 7 miles which burnt 650 cals. I...

Uhh I ate too much yesterday. And now I've just eaten a big bowl of carrots and loads of chicken thighs that were in the fridge. Was thinking to do a VLCD day but because I am out tomorrow I decided there was no point in wasting the packs. The exhaustion of lack of sleep, stress, and going out...

Seriously you could use that to market products. It's a proper before and after!!!

Well that's fantastic - in your low moment you reached for scrambled eggs! Excellent. I've found myself going for a nice milky (skimmed or soya milk) tea lately rather than reaching for carbs etc. If we can keep up these habits long term it'll be fantastic!

Thanks for feedback ladies - I really can't see a diff! I will try some more progress dresses on this weekend I think. Should probably note to self that blue playsuit was wearable (and worn) Saturday but that it only just went over my big hips... Thinking in a few weeks it should glide over...

Oh and I managed to actually sleep 7 hours which was great and needed! X

You're right the week 0 one is horrendous!!! Cannot believe I ever looked that way. Never again! Thanks xx

Wow on looking at these pics I seriously can't see a difference. How is that possible in 4 weeks?! There were 2 bad binge days in that period but also lots of good days and running.

I've decided that I should take progress pics every 4 weeks. The diff between week 0 and week 4 was massive. This Is week 4 and now week 8. I've only done strict VLCD for 2 of the weeks so that's probably why it's such a subtle difference. But I think in 4 more weeks even if I just carry on...

WoAaaaa that's so dramtic!!!! Making me motivated to shift my last stone or whatever it is. You look amazing.

Hehe thanks. Yeah it's something I would not have usually ever done. There is a guy I like but he makes no effort back. And I think that's what now pushed me to try give other people a chance . I have only eaten porridge and a bit of rice this morning. And had two double vodkas. I don't feel...

Hey thanks :-) Sis is so so. Hopefully coming home tomorrow. I ended up going on a last minute date and had 2 strong drinks!! Tipsy. Dunno how I'm drinking already after so much on weekend. Date was ok nice guy just not sure my cup of tea. Going on another tomorrow! And will sleep on Thursday!!

You look so tiny wow amazing!! Hope you're feeling good in your skin x

Well done :-) I'm going to weigh myself on 30th of the month and update then eeek!

Decided to have an Alpen porridge mixed with water. And there was lots of rice in the fridge so I had a bit of it cold. Not lots. But decided I'll go for a run once I digest before work, hence the carbs are fine. I have the 4 weeks of VLCD packs so I def will use them still. Just been a crazy...

Really struggling to sleep. I slept from 8.20pm to 3am so at least had a good 6.5 hours. Not sure that I'll get any more sleep. I've had a lot on my mind. I realise I bottle things up and it suddenly affects me through things like drinking too much and then feeling awfully embarrassed about it...

Had about 1650 calories today but burnt maybe 350 of then jogging for 4 miles. All healthy choices. Think I am back to health more or less so could start VLCD tomorrow.

Yep not doing a VLCD day. Lunch was rice with tomatoes, cauliflower, 1 dairylee triangle, and salad. And an apple to follow. Struggling to concentrate with work today. Will run at 4

Had a fairly big breakfast. Non VLCD but it seemed needed to fix my body: 1 orange, alpen porridge made with water and half a banana, 1 dairylee, 2 slices of wafer thin chicken, tomatoes. feel very bloated. And not actually hungry. I think my body will take a few days to adjust from all the...

Have some serious insomnia going on!!!! Late nights and alcohol are to blame. I didn't really eat much all weekend. Total I ate since Friday is one exante meal, and exante bar, ryvitas and dairylee, 2 bowls of chicken and vegetable stew... And load of vodka and tequila. Not healthy. But it was...

Wow ok. Drank way too much this weekend. And slept way too little. Had a lot of post alcohol cringing today. But I suppose it was a fun weekend. A busy one. I'm working from home tomorrow so I can rest. Might try and run too. Got 4 weeks worth of exante packs left. Better get using them!

Right just got home into bed for a nap. Had 3 dairylee triangles with 2 ryvitas and 2 seeded crackers and tomato and lettuce. Total calories 330 ish.. Really wasn't hungry but forced myself. Gonna try n sleep now.

Just left the hospital. Now finally going home. I haven't slept! Hopefully sleep when I get in as have to leave at 8 for a birthday night out.

Thanks for your words. I am very drunk still at friends house. Need to leave. All I ate today was an exante spag Bol in morning but also ran 4 miles so it's clearly warn off. I'm still drunk. Not normal!!!

I know I'm just moaning but oh god I saw my stomach and legs this morning and they feel huge. Doesn't feel like I'm getting any smaller. I feel totally repulsed if I'm honest. I'm trying to appreciate my health and my body. But I can't deny what I see. I'm just so so flabby. I am thinking about...

All the best for the challenge. I won't do it but I'll follow and support! Will you still update on here?

Agree!!

Thanks. We are meeting at 8. And I'm working til 4. So could go to her before., dressed up, I'll see how it goes. I told him she's unwell. If she gets worse I'll cancel. I felt like I need a break and a drink!! I still feel so chubby. Really gonna enjoy a jog later though. Much needed.

Yeah. It's not that she won't understand. She's severely disabled with severe learning and physical disabilities. She can't talk. So that's all the more reason why I go to support her and be a support for my mum too. She always gives me the most beautiful inspiring smiles, the bravest person I...

Do you feel better for it(not weighing)? I really find I do. I last weighed 1 nov, won't guarantee it but might wait until 30nov xx keep it up you're sounding mighty positive

Oh ok got it ;-) That's so good. Well done. Similar to the losses on a VLCD!! Xx

Sister is much the same. She's still in. Just got home now. Having an exante chilli pack with some lettuce - only had an exante soup this morning. I don't feel hungry. But I feel very podgy and bloated. I need to exercise, and I will, soon. I've spent all my eves at the hospital. Tomorrow I...

If anything those few days will at least make you feel a whole lot better! I tried that slim tea before and oddly it did nothing for me! X

I think extra protein and salad is much better than pure VLCD when we don't have a great deal to lose x

Feel better soon x x

Hi just read through the whole diary. Looks like you have a pretty good balance with what you eat (had to get my head around the SW lingo haha - that's one diet I actually haven't done for once!!). Did you go to the Dr about the tiredness? I have that too but they never found a cause. Just told...

Happy birthday!!!!

It looks lovely :-) very birthday ish x

Yes she is. Thanks. Still going along with packs. Do feel like I need a drink. Def having drinks on Saturday. But tempted to go out for a few on Friday. I won't if she's still in hospital. Just got home from there how and having lettuce, exante spag Bol and skinny rice. X

Pretty dress. Send a pic of it on when you're all ready!

That sounds perfectly fine. Please don't feel bad about a sandwich amongst all of that. X

Spot on. Being in control and not going crazy after a little bit extra is certainly to be celebrated. To be honest I think It's easier to do 3 packs a day than it is to have some extra food but leave it at that and not allow it to turn into an unnecessary eating frenzy. Well for me anyway. X

That's very sad. I imagine it was a shock for you both. Well done for not letting it affect your goals. I am ok, on track again food wise, also have had things going on xx

You can see the KKs being cooked in some stores. Seeing that put me off forever. Greasy artificial junk. Good for you for steering clear of the birthday table x

Hi Kira, Yes she's still in hospital. It's quite complicated. But I'm staying strong. She's a very strong girl and she's an inspiration. Again I've stuck to exante packs & 1 skinny pasta. Just easier not to think about food. In the past when she's been this bad (about 2.5 years ago) I binged...