A personal account of my SW journey

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
It's about time I started being honest with myself, and facing facts that my lifestyle and eating habits are not a long term plan. I'm coming to an age where reversing the negative affects of my decadent choices will be harder and harder, and I know the time to act is now.

I'm not a total SW novice; I lost 4.5stone a few years ago. I never managed to make it to target, so I always felt a bit disheartened and unfulfilled. I was pretty good at the plan though, and initially lost 3 stone in 20 weeks.

I gained quite a lot of that again over a two year period, and got down to 1 stone above target again without too much bother, but then I slipped again, and then again. And now it's been some time since my last attempt, and I think I'm only 1 stone lighter than my starting weight all those years ago.

I'm not prepared to beat myself up for this too much, I've had a pretty stressful time. I have bouts of depression, and bouts of anxiety. I put myself under a lot of stress and am constantly battling with feelings of acceptance and worth.

So I thought in this latest attempt to sort my health and lifestyle out, that I'd start a diary. I've not had a (feelings) diary for 20ish years, and back then they were always handwritten. This account is for me to vent, but to also reflect and measure. Are there links between my feelings and what I'm eating etc. I am terrible at sticking to things though, so I'm going to set myself the goal of updating the diary as often as I can until Christmas.

I'm about to go to a group to join as a new member; I'm really excited. I'm totally ready for this. On the way to group I'm even going to the supermarket to pick up some fruit and veg on the way.

Feelings right now: Excitement, nervous, worried about time, can't wait to feel healthier!

If anyone has any words of wisdom or encouragement, they will be gratefully received :)
 
Get Rid of this ad and join in on the conversation for free today! Tap here!

Kgem

Full Member
Good luck! I'm on day 2 (I've lost weight in the past then put it back on again too) - I spent a lot of time planning meals and sorting out shopping which I hope will pay off. I hope group went well!
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
Good luck! I'm on day 2 (I've lost weight in the past then put it back on again too) - I spent a lot of time planning meals and sorting out shopping which I hope will pay off. I hope group went well!
Hi Kgem, happy day three to you! I'm officially on day 1 now and am feeling ok. Am slightly in shock still about just how much weight I've put on, but that's a whole different story.

I've got the next few days planned food wise, and I'm going to be studying my book in great depth over the next few evenings. Hopefully all the bad habits I accrued in my former SW days have been forgotten, and I can start afresh :)

Started the day with some Speed fruit, a free yogurt, and my HXB of figgs :)
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
So, to reflect on my evening attending group last night.

I timed it well; I planned a trip to Aldi to pick up some veg on the way, and I was still 15 minutes early to the new members talk. The consultant was inviting and friendly, although she did see a little nervous. I'm a terrible public speaker so I can totally empathise with her. The Image Therapy session was a pretty standard chat about losses, gains and maintains; I'm hoping this becomes nice and varied as we go on. All the members seemed lovely, and I'm happy that I've found somewhere like this for my group.

I was feeling pretty good, until the weigh in. I weighed a lot more than I thought I would, almost a stone more. Shocking. I shouldn't be surprised; my binge eating has been totally out of control, and I've been treating the last week as a bit of a challenge to eat as much as I can. I think this means I'm likely to have a good loss even if I only stick to plan a bit, but isn't reflective at all of how well I'll do further down the line.

I was still definitely in the "last chance to binge" mentality, and scoffed a pack of pea snacks at Aldi, had a cup of tea at group, and then finished off leftover Chinese from Monday night. That really is it now though.

Last night I felt relieved, and still feel it now. It's time for irresponsible eating to come to an end.

Looking forward, I've bought a 6 week countdown so have committed. In that 6 weeks (by 2nd November) my goals will be:
  • To start running twice a week (no set distance or time yet, I just need to get out there)
  • To keep a food diary and be mindful about what I'm eating, even if I go way over on syns
  • Aim to lose on average 2lbs a week, so 12 lbs in 6 weeks
  • To keep writing a personal diary, to track emotions and detect patterns
Challenges I expect to face are:
  • Study days, I usually reward myself with food for long bouts of study
  • Being too busy
  • Social eating
  • Social drinking
  • Snacks at work
  • Chocolate in moderation
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
Hey Samssassy,

I am basically in exactly the same position as you. I love your realistic goals you've set (kind of wish i'd bought a countdown too!) mine are very similar.

I have been here before, lost before, gained before and was also completely in denial about how much I would weigh at my meeting last night. Nothing I can do about that now, and no point beating ourselves up about it - time to move on and use the good motivation to keep ourselves going on plan.

:) Hope you have a fab week.

Flic. xx
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
Justhad a delicious piece of cake someone at work made. I could hardly say no, she made peanut becasue she knows how much I love it!

Have counted it as 10 syns!
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
Hey Samssassy,

I am basically in exactly the same position as you. I love your realistic goals you've set (kind of wish i'd bought a countdown too!) mine are very similar.

I have been here before, lost before, gained before and was also completely in denial about how much I would weigh at my meeting last night. Nothing I can do about that now, and no point beating ourselves up about it - time to move on and use the good motivation to keep ourselves going on plan.

:) Hope you have a fab week.

Flic. xx
Hi Flic,

Yep, sounds like we've been on similar journeys so far!

Do you have any strategies in place for the week ahead? I'm throwing everything I've got at my attempt!

x
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
My advice? Plan. Plan plan plan.

Saying this, i've pretty much completely failed to do that today. I have some chicken out, and some veg of varying degrees of freshness in the fridge which I will attempt to make something out of for dinner...

Don't worry about the cake - i'm not sure I would have been able to resist peanut either, what matters is you've synned it. :)

xx
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
Yesterday's food diary:
B/fast - Clementine, apple, yogurt, 50g figs
Snack - cookie
Lunch - left over veggie bolognaise and a cupshot. Peanut cake
Snack - Clementine
(then I had another biscuit. I didn't put this on my food diary but I'm going to put it here; full disclosure)
Tea - Quark Carbonara with courgetti. (and some crackers, and some nuts, again I didn't put these on my diary)

So in summary, mostly great, but I couldn't stop myself with the free biscuits and snacks and I couldn't face admitting it in my diary :( In good news, there are no more nuts and no more crackers in my house, in fact, most of the snacks containing syns have gone :)

I walked to and from work yesterday, a total of 10km, and also walked the dog after tea time. So a good body magic day.

I also spent a lot of time prepping for the next few days; I used up a lot of old veg in S Free veggie bolognaise sauce, prepped my slow cooked lamb which I'm looking forward to tonight, and made a shed load of carbonara for lunches for today and tomorrow.

My advice? Plan. Plan plan plan.

xx

Thanks Fig. Planning has worked very well for me in the past, but because of having an unpredictable lifestyle, I also need to have a contingency plan! This is why I always have to have leftovers handy. At work for example, I can't resist a meal deal sandwich! They're so cost efficient. I hate paying more for a salad!

I'm thinking that now I've eaten the crackers, and the 5 almonds have gone, and I've scratched my itch with biscuits, I'll be able to resist a bit better. Here's to a day on plan!

x
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
Don't worry too much about eating the biscuits/crackers etc - you had a craving, and as you said, scratched that itch. Well done on being accountable - if not on your diary, at least here.

Amazing body magic day - well done! I wish I could walk to work sometimes (not when it's wet and horrible) but since it's 30 mins from home in the car...not really possible. I am enjoying going back to walking at lunchtime - it's looking beautiful here today, so I can't wait. My own personal tactic for doing more exercise? Audiobooks. Audiobooks which I am only allowed to listen to when being active (cleaning the house, walking, taking the dogs out...) so it's like a reward! It works even better when you're really into the book! haha.

Hope you're having a good day today!

xx
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
Thanks lovely :)

I love Audiobooks too! Unfortunately I don't have a device I can use them with, my phone is pants! (but really old and cheap to run :))

Tonight, I'll get in around 1830 and will take the dog to the park for a jog/walk. I'm not looking forward to the nights drawing in! x
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
Yesterday's food diary:
B: Free yogurt, Apple Clementine
S: Banana
L: Left over Quark carbonara with courgetti and loads of spinnach
Yogurt, banana, Cookie * 2 (10)
S: Clementine, Apple
D: Sow cooked Harrissa lamb with peppers, tomatoes, onion courgette, broccoli, and vegetable cous cous (plus courgettes and peppers) (0.5 syn for Harrissa paste)


Finished the day on 10.5 syns so happy with that!

Was also a good body magic day. got up early to take the dog for a 30 mins walk, then biked to work on my old heavy, hard work bike. Cycled home, and took the dog for a jog around the park. I probably jogged for around 10 minutes intermittently, some on hard roads some on grass. The dog seemed to like it but then he got a bit weird and started barking at a bush and I couldn't persuade him to leave for a very long time. I'm going to do another couple of small runs before committing to something too organised; I think my body needs to be reminded of the shock first

Once in I prepped the veggie cous cous and broccoli and served up some lamb and it was delicious! I'm onto a winner there, and definitely worth the syns! Then had a trip to Aldi and then finally a shower and bed!

Today will be fine and easy, tonight will be a challenge as I'm going to a pub and will be rushing around after work. First weekend on plan beckons!

I just couldn't resist a couple of cookies yesterday, they were provided by a colleague and I couldn't say no. I'm prepared with a bag load of fruit and other snacks, so whenever I'm tempted, I'm just going to reach for something SF. Or at least that's the theory.
 

Kgem

Full Member
sounds like a really good day on plan, lots of filling SW food so you don't get hungry (that's my priority). My week has been good so far but next week will be a mess as I'm away for work on Thursday/Friday and it's all catered...
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
Wow - what a day! I would have been shattered! You are encouraging me to get off my backside and move a bit more...

Have a good time at the pub tonight, by the looks, you've earned it!

xx
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
Aww thanks guys :)

sounds like a really good day on plan, lots of filling SW food so you don't get hungry (that's my priority). My week has been good so far but next week will be a mess as I'm away for work on Thursday/Friday and it's all catered...

I'm awful when I'm away for work, especially if work are paying for food! I just can't resist a crappy working sandwich lunch! They're so basic but they're the best! Shame! Thankfully I don't think I need to travel for work for some time. Is there a way you can ask for a low calorie lunch? I know we can ask for gluten free which means you get a salad!

Wow - what a day! I would have been shattered! You are encouraging me to get off my backside and move a bit more...

Have a good time at the pub tonight, by the looks, you've earned it!

xx

Thanks Flic! I was shattered. I remember getting to bed nice and early, and started to fall asleep at 22:13 and OH arrived home at 22:16 after being away for two days!
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
I've also calculated that 5 vodka and cokes is 15 syns so I'm saving every one until later!
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
Friday's food diary:
B: Pear, clementine, Yogurt.
S: 3 x scan bran with sliced banana on top (HXB)
L:Left over quark carbonara with courgette and parmesan (HXA). Grapes, Yogurt, Apple, Clementine.
D: Left over harissa lamb with cous cos, with extra added SF veg.
Drinks: Cider x 1.5 pints 18.5 syns, vodka x 5 15 syns, 1 x gin and tonic 3syns.
Total syns 37.5!!!!

So I clearly kept counting, and I didn't stray too far from my original plan. As I was getting ready to gout I finished off some cider that's been in my fridge, so it was either drink it or throw it away... Then at the pub I couldn't resist one more pint of cider and it was delicious! I had my 5 vodkas, as per plan, and then someone bought me a G&T. It could have been a lot worse, I could have had 5 pints of cider! I also resisted the left over pasta bake that the OH demolished when we got in.

Body magic was cycling to and from work on the old bike, and dancing at the gig :)

Saturday's food diary:
B: Two plain boiled potatoes
L: Jacket with beans and loads of cheese (HXA plus 4 syns)
S: Apple and clementine, turkey
D: Stuffed marrow with bolognaise
D2: SW chips and beans!

I'm pretty proud of my effort this Saturday, I was out of the house in the morning and was absolutely starving but needed to get the car; I resisted everything from the garage as they had nothing I could eat without using some syns and managed to save myself (by snackng a little bit on potatoes) until lunchtime which was totally delicious. I was at an event and rushed around to get there, then was tempted by all of the wonderful food places in the city centre including the food market. Also resisted at the supermarket and when I had a second bout of hunger after dinner, I made myself a second dinner. Definitely something to be proud of :)

Body magic was running around with band gear.

I feel pretty good going into Sunday, I'm at OH's house so am restricted. I think they plan to get food from the chippy later so I'm going to try to plan some SW chips in to save my week. 3 days until weigh in, I can claw back from Friday night!

I know it's absurd, but I feel like I've started to lose already! It could be psychological, but I swear I feel it in my midriff and on my face... Is definitely an incentive.
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
Sunday's food diary
B: Veggie soup and slice of HXB brown bread
L: Free bolognaise
D: Curry, sorbet, and cake.

Things I'm proud of: Saying no to booze, and saying no to ice cream!

So Sunday was ok, I spent the day at my OH's house so was limited with snacks and food. Also, we used up a voucher we won ages ago for a local curry; it was for the set menu so no two ways about it, we had to have what was given to us. It was delicious, and although it was fairly high in syns I didn't overeat, and we gave the left overs away. I was tempted by a delicious sounding lemon and mascarpone ice cream but having considered the calories a lemon sorbet was much better!

I felt pretty good all day, didn't feel sad, anxious, or too fidgety.

So far Monday has been good, and I've just been out for a run :) I managed to run for around 20 mins non stop, which isn't bad considering it's my second run in around a year! Am slowly going to work up to 30 mins of running before worrying about distance, and will then (hopefully) start running home from work a couple of days a week, probably Tuesday and Thursday.
 

FlicG

Silver Member
S: 18st7lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 31.9 Loss: 4st11lb(25.87%)
What a great weekend! Well done on keeping track - I totally would have blown it after the 2nd vodka, and the night would have ended with shots and cheesy chips! V. impressed!

I really need some of your exercise motivation. Went for my first run in months last week, and now struggling to motivate myself to get back to it. Might set myself a goal to be at with running by the end of October and see if that will help me stick to it!

Barely a week in, but already feeling much happier - I think it's partly because I know i'm doing something about it, and not burying my head in the sand (like I have been for the last few months!)

Have a great evening,

xx
 

Samssassy

Full Member
S: 13st6.5lb C: 12st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st12.5lb(6.63%)
. Might set myself a goal to be at with running by the end of October and see if that will help me stick to it!

If there's one thing I've learned, it's not to set my running goals too high too soon! Good luck :) I'm going running again tomorrow! I found running in the park in the daytime yesterday much much more enjoyable than running in the twilight. I'm hoping the nights drawing in doesn't hinder me too much.
 




Top