Anybody else's mum try to 'fatten them up' if they think you're getting too thin?

[happyhealthy]

Recently, I've lost qui


I'm a 19 year old student living at home and my mum however well she means, isn't helping me on my weight loss. She's saying things like "You're fine the way you are! Please don't loose any more weight". - this usually followed by her making me one of my many favourite dinners and giving me extra food to take to uni. Healthy food, but at the same time food that she knows I'll be tempted by all day. Today for example, I told her that since I'm cutting back on chocolate, she could instead just buy me one small egg for easter. I woke up tis morning to two big eggs from her, in my favourite chocolate too!

She means well, but I think she's worried I'm going to loose too much weight and no matter how much I tell her I'm not getting anywhere with her! Does anyone else have a similar mum/loved one like mine?

 

[Polyanna]

When I was your age my Mum used to think I was anorectic, she was constantly on an unsuccessful diet, I was about 9st 7lbs and 5’ 5”. another words normal.

 

[gina_b]

yes, and my nan too. everytime im at my nans she gets the box of chocolates out, or tries to give me half her sandwich. then tells me im too skinny and gain weight. she tries buying me cakes when we take her food shopping too, i always say no to them, she sulks a bit about it

 

[happyhealthy]

yes, and my nan too. everytime im at my nans she gets the box of chocolates out, or tries to give me half her sandwich. then tells me im too skinny and gain weight. she tries buying me cakes when we take her food shopping too, i always say no to them, she sulks a bit about it

That's like my aunt. She asks if you want a sandwich, proceeds to make it anyway even if you've said no, and then you feel obliged to eat it since she's went to the bother of making you it!

 

[gina_b]

dont get her started on my gym use too..... she tells me to quit going!

 

[happyhealthy]

Really? how often do you go?

 

[gina_b]

6 days a week

 

[Aline]

Happyhealthy and gina,

I understand both of you. My grandmother (and sometimes my parents) do similar things but they really mean well.
For instance my grandmother is obese and considers everyone who isn't obese a very thin person. My mom is overweight and my grandmother says she's thin and tells her to eat more (fortunatelly my mom realises she can't gain more weight). That being said, for my gradmother I'm a skinny person, she even told me skeleton a few times.
Most peopel who criticize us (normal weight/normal bmi people) don't realise that we're normal and they're the ones who are at a risky size/weight. They mean well, they just lack knowledge about what an healthy bmi and an healthy weight looks like.
Plus, they also lack knowledge about healthy eating, that's why they offer tons of giant chocolates instead of the small servings we ask for (this is valid for chocolate but also for every desserts and fried foods). Everything is good in moderation, but somehow they think that more is better.

Don't feel offended girls, just offer your loved ones information, show them a bmi chart, show them how much you weight and they'll see you're normal. Teach them what normal food serving sizes look like and eventually they'll see you're on the right track.
If they ignore the information and knowledge you offer (like my grandmother does) just try to ignore their comments about weight and remember yourself they don't mean bad

xx

 

[gina_b]

my nans only little, butg she dosent eat much. shes on them shakes for people who dont eat alot but contain lots of calories and nutrients! she loves her chocolates and cakes though....
she leaves all her meals, or if she eats them she pulls a face and says she dosent like it!
she means well, she cares about others more than herself too much >.<

 

[Indiasmum]

It's really a "knowledge" thing as well. People just weren't taught about nutrition, when my dad was diagnosed with diabetes we had a terrible time trying to teach him about carbohydrates and sugars and stuff, he just didn't get it!! But he grew up in the war and I suppose was just grateful for whatever he could get!

He always used to say that I was too thin too! (and buy me pork pies cuz meat is ok on a red day!)

They just love us.....bless em.

 

[Aline]

It's really a "knowledge" thing as well.

They just love us.....bless em.

Ditto

 

[johnnyblue]

Unfortunately, food meant love when I was growing up. :sigh: And if I refused it, it was a big deal. Hence years of severe eating disorders.

Taking the food and binning it is sometimes the only thing to do.

 

[Dreamer]

Unfortunately, food meant love when I was growing up. :sigh: And if I refused it, it was a big deal. Hence years of severe eating disorders.

Taking the food and binning it is sometimes the only thing to do.

This seems to be the only thing to do in India when I visit extended family. They don't get I was brought up in the UK, and when I say no, it means no. They keep giving you more, and equate it with love, and get very offended if you don't take seconds. They even say things like you don't like my cooking, etc. It's awful. Even worse, I'm not actually hungry in hot countries, so I want to eat even less, and it's a fantastic place to kickstart weight loss (due to appetite being suppressed), except for being force fed!

 

[gina_b]

This seems to be the only thing to do in India when I visit extended family. They don't get I was brought up in the UK, and when I say no, it means no. They keep giving you more, and equate it with love, and get very offended if you don't take seconds. They even say things like you don't like my cooking, etc. It's awful. Even worse, I'm not actually hungry in hot countries, so I want to eat even less, and it's a fantastic place to kickstart weight loss (due to appetite being suppressed), except for being force fed!

i nkow one of my friend roxy's mum is like this, her mum cooks a 5 course meal with seconds, cooks loads of food. she is asian and was brought up that way!

 

[Rebirth_Lozza]

My dad is like this. Whenever I say im on a diet he rolls his eyes and goes something along the lines of 'but you don't need to lose weight' then he'll forget I ever said anything and feed me a stream of junk food like pizza etc to tempt me!