• Upgrades have been completed! Including conversations, 😁😎🏀⚾⚽ Emojis and more.. Read more



Avoiding social events???

Rayven

Addicted to Minimins!
S: 18st9lb C: 18st6lb G: 10st6lb BMI: 42.9 Loss: 0st3lb(1.15%)
#1
I was just wondering how many of us have avoided social events or certain people because you're worried about how you look/don't feel confident enough?
I've lost count of the amount of times i've been invited out & have made up some flimsy excuse as to why i can't make it when really i just don't feel attractive enough to go.
It sounds silly, but i dread meeting my hubbys workmates - i know he's not ashamed of me, but I'M ashamed of me & i wouldn't want his mates sniggering behind their hands about him having a 'big' girlfriend.

Also since going on facebook i've gotten in contact with loads of old school friends & been invited to parties etc but i don't feel comfortable enough in my own skin to go.

Do we all beat ourselves up like this? Does the confidence some with losing the weight or do you have to have the confidence first?
 
Get Rid of this ad and join in on the conversation for free today! Tap here!
#2
i feel exactly the same with the meeting oh's friends and things. when we first got together i didn't meet his friends or family for months, infact, i was 4 months pregnant before meeting his mum and sister.

im always saying no to going out with friends to pubs and clubs, if i do go i feel uncomfortable, uneasy and paranoid all night anyway so im happier staying at home.
 

Letty

Full Member
S: 14st1lb C: 10st9lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 22.7 Loss: 3st6lb(24.37%)
#3
Hi,
Yep, I know just how you feel. It especially has been an issue with meeting up with people I haven't seen for a while. I have put most of the weight on in the last year or so, and when the prospect of seeing someone I haven't seen since then comes up, all I can think is that afterwards they'll talk about how much bigger I am than I was.

Here's to an end of all of that!
 

catkins

Full Member
S: 17st10lb C: 17st10lb G: 9st2lb BMI: 42.6 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#4
I guess I'm lucky in that I have a good network of friends so I do feel comfortable going out, but I always hide myself under loads of clothes...

I used to work in the city at a really.. young firm, where everyone was gorgeous, fashionable and rich! I used to feel so slovenly coming in and would hide away as best I could. I just felt like I didn't fit in there, being the biggest person there. Just had to grin and bare it though, seeing as it was my income!
 

Jaycey

Post-Menopausal Maniac!
S: 13st1lb C: 13st1lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#5
I know exactly what you mean - I've been avoiding going out at night for ages, mainly because I can't get into hardly any of my stuff and also because when I can get into it, it looks awful. :jelous: However, we've been asked out this weekend, so I'm going to see if I can get into any of that stuff (now that I've lost a stone) and if it looks any good. Stopping in is no longer an option! :D
 

eyeontheprize

can see the end in sight!
S: 20st7lb C: 12st10lb G: 12st6lb BMI: 25.5 Loss: 7st11lb(37.98%)
#6
I went out in November last year for my friends leaving do and we went to mission in Leeds with all her skinny friends and I honestly never felt fatter, more awkward or more out of place! Going back home to oz at the end of the year so will be skinny and am looking forward to getting my social life back!
 

Jaycey

Post-Menopausal Maniac!
S: 13st1lb C: 13st1lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#7
Well, I'm going upstairs later to try on some going-out clothes and see if any of them fit! I've committed now so I've got to go, so something will have to work - fingers crossed! :fingerscrossed:

Clubs - here we come!! :D :dooney:
 

Jaycey

Post-Menopausal Maniac!
S: 13st1lb C: 13st1lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#8
Well, I went out clubbing last night and had a FAB time! :party0049: I found an outfit I could get into, and although I still look big, there's a waist starting to appear and friends noticed I'd lost weight. (I did turn into a bit of a diet bore, regaling everyone in the loos with all the gory details of my weight loss, but there's a whole bunch of girls now who are all going to have a go at CD! :))

I danced until my feet were sore, so even got a bit of exercise in too!
:party0023:
The great thing is that I've got my confidence back - I hadn't been out for so long I think my friends thought I'd turned into a hermit. I can't stress enough the psychological benefits of CD - the mental side is just as important as the physical side. I haven't felt so great in years. :)
 

sonya

Full Member
S: 14st4lb C: 14st4lb G: 10st9lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#9
Rayven I know exactly what you mean. While on this diet I have met with my close friends and family who know I am on the diet and are supportive (well, as much as they can be) but wouldn't want to go out socialising with large groups of people. Especially if it got leaked out that I was on this diet cos everyone has questions about it and I feel people are saying "get off your fat arse and go to the gym and just stop being so greedy!". :sigh:
 
S: 11st9lb C: 10st4lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 26.3 Loss: 1st5lb(11.66%)
#10
Well, I went out clubbing last night and had a FAB time! :party0049: I found an outfit I could get into, and although I still look big, there's a waist starting to appear and friends noticed I'd lost weight. (I did turn into a bit of a diet bore, regaling everyone in the loos with all the gory details of my weight loss, but there's a whole bunch of girls now who are all going to have a go at CD! :))

I danced until my feet were sore, so even got a bit of exercise in too!
:party0023:
The great thing is that I've got my confidence back - I hadn't been out for so long I think my friends thought I'd turned into a hermit. I can't stress enough the psychological benefits of CD - the mental side is just as important as the physical side. I haven't felt so great in years. :)
Well done Jaycey - its not easy going out clubbing when its been ages. I have made so many excuses not to go out over the last year or so but, like you, I have lost a stone (fingers crossed that this will be confirmed later at my WI) and I suddenly feel like I do want to get out there. My jeans are looser and so many people have started to make lovely comments, I am growing a large head lol. What size will it be when I am at target I wonder?? I walked round town yesterday with my slim sister and didn't feel at all jealous or inferior. Good luck with your WI later on today xx
 

Jaycey

Post-Menopausal Maniac!
S: 13st1lb C: 13st1lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#11
Thanks Lorrayne, I'll let you know later!

One side-effect of my mad Saturday night - I'm KNACKERED!! :D I felt tired yesterday but today it's really hit me. I haven't really taken any exercise since starting the diet (or much before, come to that!) but today I am really creased and am even thinking of crawling back into bed to get some more kip (which is most unlike me). The CDCs do say take it easy on the exercise front (especially on 100%) and I think I'm living proof that that is good advice, lol. :eek:

I'm probably going back to the same club next month, so hopefully will be slimmer still by then - but won't do quite so much dancing next time! ;)
 

Lazyhound

Full Member
S: 16st2lb C: 10st10lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 24.2 Loss: 5st6lb(33.63%)
#12
I wish i had some social events to avoid :sigh:
Just call me *Annie no mates* :8855:

But I have to admit shying away from meeting up with some friends so I can surprise them with my new svelte self in a few months ;)

Annie x
 

goolian

Fab & Fit For Florida
#13
edd thinks i have turned into a complete hermit... i always cancel social events with friends because i just feel how i want to at the moment...

hopefully i will start to feel better about things like that soon x
 

Rayven

Addicted to Minimins!
S: 18st9lb C: 18st6lb G: 10st6lb BMI: 42.9 Loss: 0st3lb(1.15%)
#14
I desperately WANT to start going out now i'm shrinking but have absolutely NOTHING to wear that fits me & don't really want to go and spend money on new stuff (credit crunch and all) until i'm a bit smaller!
 

Berryred

Gold Member
S: 16st13lb C: 16st7lb G: 9st7.5lb BMI: 40.9 Loss: 0st6lb(2.53%)
#15
I desperately WANT to start going out now i'm shrinking but have absolutely NOTHING to wear that fits me & don't really want to go and spend money on new stuff (credit crunch and all) until i'm a bit smaller!
it will happen, I am wearing clothes now I haven;t fitted into for 2 years:eek: I can't wait to buy smaller ones, but we will all get there.

Hubby's job means lots of social events, I attended one in Feb (see my photos) I felt fab, even though I still have about 3 stone to lose (not sure what my 'real goal is yet'). I am having a night out with the girls on the 17th March me driving:D I can't wait as I am no longer the large one (in my eyes:() won't be long and I'll be the same as those skinny b*tches:D

I am feeling very positive today, can you tell lol
 

Rayven

Addicted to Minimins!
S: 18st9lb C: 18st6lb G: 10st6lb BMI: 42.9 Loss: 0st3lb(1.15%)
#16
won't be long and I'll be the same as those skinny b*tches:D
*stamps foot* I want to be a skinny b*tch too!! lol
 


Similar threads



Top