Bingeing... Why?!!?

[Micci]

Hmmmmm, I've had a couple of slight binges recently so thought I''d used this thread to have a dialogue with myself.

But first ... Pomooky, ah yes old fat Freshly needed bread dough is what I think on a bad day Christmas? Don't worry about it, we will all be half the women we were by then.

Tonight I came home from work, ate well but was absolutely shattered and could see no reason at all why I should deny myself a few slices of the delicious seedy bread I had bought , along with fresh houmous I found in the fridge, followed up by a bar and a half of chocolate. I even thought to myself 'do I really want this, will I regret it?' and decided that yes I did want it, and no I wouldn't regret it.... fool

Of course, two hours later I do regret it and feel sick.

So, thinking about this conversation I remembered what Lesley had been asked, and what Aline suggested and wondered what was different about tonight as opposed to last night when I was just as tired but it didn't even occur to me to over eat.

Tonight I had meant to go to a music lesson, my first for ages but was so tired with an achy back and could not face up to a long journey to the other side of the city for it. So maybe I was feeling deprived.

Also, as I've not been challenging myself musically for a long time I might (OK, yes I WAS) feeling anxious about my abilities. Heck, I know I'm in need of lessons and practice, I had a go at some of my grading pieces and didn't play them very well.

Anyway, I think that the combination of feeling unsure of my abilities and deprived of the lesson combined with the tiredness led me back to old habits.

It was nothing like the manic binging I used to do but still enough to set me back a couple of weeks again.

There was also an element for me of wanting to be like other people who do not feel it necessary to deprive themselves of treats.

So, the question is what to do about it?

I have been affirming to myself that I am allowed treats and calory laden foods but that I choose to limit my intake. I need to be clear that I am not forbidding myself these foods but it is my choice to eat only small amounts of these sort of foods.

I will also do Renee Stephen's 're-do' technique whereby I will play back in my head before going to sleep another version of tonight, how I will do it next time I'm in a similar situation, deciding to limit my intake and acknowledging the real issues ..

Good night, I wish you all well for tonight and tomorrow.

 

[mandy0206]

Omfggggggggg !!! I need some one who has purged or suffers from same type of problem to message me ASAP !!!!!

 

[Aline]

Micci,
Everything I could say you already said. You understood very well the reasons for your binge and you know the road you need to follow.
It was very nice and insightfull to read your text because I also binged this evening and my binges nowadays aren't like the ones I once had. And my reasons are pretty similiar, I'm very stressed with my thesis because I have a lot of stuff on hands I also feel a bit unsure about abilities to finish it on time and well and that makes me anxious. Lack of sleep is another factor. For example, today i wrote on my thesis until 3am (I'll work tomorrow at 9am so I should go sleep but I needed to come here and take this out of my chest).

I think what can work is asking ourselves if we really need that when we think about eating lots of junk we don't need. Thar's hard at the time, but that's the only way to face the issue. We need to challange ourselves to think and act differently. It's a challange but we'll face it more and more

Mandy,
I wish I could help you but I don't purge. Anyway, feel free to talk about what you feel and we'll try to help you the better we know.
Hope you feel better soon

x

 

[Micci]

Omfggggggggg !!! I need some one who has purged or suffers from same type of problem to message me ASAP !!!!!

Mandy, how are you? I don't purge but want to send you loads and loads of support from here.

Micci xxx

 

[Micci]

<snip>

I think what can work is asking ourselves if we really need that when we think about eating lots of junk we don't need. Thar's hard at the time, but that's the only way to face the issue. We need to challange ourselves to think and act differently. It's a challange but we'll face it more and more


x

Aline, that's a good shift of perspective. To ask the question 'is it what I need?' rather than 'Is it what I want?' Thank you.

I'm sorry life is so stressful for you right now, do ask for any support we can give you here. I'm positive you will finish your thesis well and on time.

Micci xxx

 

[Pomooky125]

Omfggggggggg !!! I need some one who has purged or suffers from same type of problem to message me ASAP !!!!!

Mandy

I really wish I could help you with the purging but I don't know much about it. I'm thinking of you and hope you can get your self-control back and find someone that can help you.

Micci

I had a mini binge last night too (only a mini because it was so late and I never stuff myself past bedtime - How come I can control that bit?). Anyway, I'm just going backwards and forwards with my weight and I'm panicking about time passing - one month to June which was my target date.

Nothing happened yesterday that could be regarded as a trigger so I really don't understand it. Trying again today - it's all I can do. I am sick of food and thinking about it but can't stop eating it!

Aline - your thesis will come together. You are probably a perfectionist and will never be satisfied with your work, even though it's great. If you're like me, you're looking for problems before they happen and imagining the worst. The great thing about this is you are often surprised by a good grade. Keep on at it and take some breaks.

Lesley, where/how are you? How was Peebles? Hope you are doing ok and enjoying a day off.

I'm going for a bowl of porridge and a look at the wedding - can't help myself!

Pomooky XX

 

[mandy0206]

Look what I found, I posted this on my thread, but there are more ppl on this one, a woman had this on chat, I stole this, its amazing...

Bulimia & Binge Eating Self-Help
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/ccount/click.php?id=60
Bulimia affects more women than men, and commonly starts in the late teens or early twenties following a strict diet or stressful life event. The individual most likely has a poor self-image, and places much emphasis on needing to be thin to be attractive.
In bulimia, the individual will try to control their weight by restricting their diet, but then crave food and binge. This is followed by vomiting, over-exercising or taking pills (laxatives, diuretics, diet), and are often of normal weight.
Binge eating can occur in the same way as bulimia, but there is no use of weight-controlling strategies such as vomiting, laxatives, over-exercise, and individuals are often over-weight. Others binge eat as a way of coping with distressing emotions: extreme "comfort eating", but binge eating ends up making them feel worse about themselves.

Common thoughts, physical symptoms, emotions and behaviours are:
Thoughts

[*]Negative self beliefs: Judge self by what I eat and look like
[*]Strict and rigid rules about what I can can eat (impossible to stick to) - I must stick rigidly to my diet regime
[*]Focus of attention is taken up with food and eating
[*]What I should or shouldn't eat
[*]Self-critical thoughts when don't keep to rules: I'm a failure, I'm useless and weak, I'm worthless
[*]I'm unattractive and unlovable
[*]If I start eating, I won't be able to stop - I'm out of control
[*]If I'm not perfect, then I'm a complete failure
[*]If I eat, I'll feel better

Physical symptoms

[*]Weight gain - weight can vary due to alternating bingeing and dieting
[*]Nausea, bloating, abdominal pain
[*]Dizziness
[*]Dry and flaky skin
[*]Difficulty concentrating
[*]Sleeping problems
[*]Dehydration
[*]Tired, weak, run-down
[*]Damage to teeth - sensitive, discoloured.
[*]Mouth sores
[*]Swollen hands or feet
[*]Sore throat, hoarse voice
[*]Swollen cheeks
[*]Long term: (bulimia) anaemia, kidney damage, lack of menstrual periods, cardiac failure, loss of teeth, stomach ulcers, risk of rupture of stomach and oesophagus, heart problems
[*]Long term: (binge eating) obesity and associated health problems, including type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease

Emotions

[*]Depression
[*]Anxiety
[*]Guilt
[*]Shame
[*]Low self-esteem

Behaviours

[*]Over-eating, often in the evenings
[*]Controlling food intake: try to stick to rigid diet, fail, then binge
[*]Don't eat normal meals
[*]Eat alone, perhaps at night, secretively
[*]Attempts to control weight (bulimia): Vomiting after eating, Disguising sound (run taps, flush toilet) and smell of vomiting (air-freshener, mints, perfume, mouthwash); Using laxatives, diet or diuretic pills; Exercising too much to try to control weight gain, or crash diets


Vicious cycle of Bulimia - what keeps it going?



Vicious Cycle of Binge Eating - similar, but no purging

Before starting any self-help plan, particularly one that includes a diet and exercise plan - see your GP (or other appropriate health professional)

Doing things differently

[*]Spend some time working out the times when you're most likely to binge - notice the thoughts that you often seem to have, the physical sensations, the emotions and how you react to them - then do something differently at those times. See this page
[*]Do something that takes up your attention - mindful activity
[*]Compromise - eat a small portion if you really can't resist
[*]Get healthier food in, rather than sugar-rich foods
[*]Drink 6 - 8 glasses of water each day
[*]Seek help - others will support you
[*]Keep a food diary to assess your current intake, then...
[*]Create a simple menu plan with a suitable health professional - and stick to it! E.g. 3 meals and 3 snacks per day
[*]Weigh yourself no more often than weekly
[*]Exercise contract - again, agreed with a suitable health professional. Stick to it! (Guide - 30 minutes of moderate exercise each day, include e.g. getting off the bus one stop early, taking stairs instead of lift)
[*]Use medication appropriately and only as prescribed - avoid laxatives, diet pills, diuretics
[*]Eat with trusted family and friends rather than isolate yourself
[*]Don't rush food - sit down and eat slowly, enjoying the taste. Eat mindfully
[*]Reward and treat yourself with something other than food when you've done well - something relaxing or fun
[*]Use a Cravings Diaryto help you do things differently

Thinking differently

[*]STOPP! Pause, take a breath, don't react automatically
[*]Understanding links between thoughts, feelings and behaviours - see CBT self help courses
[*]Positive self-talk - encourage yourself, tell yourself: I can do this, I am strong and capable - find an affirmation that works for you (even if you don't believe it at first!). Write it down and memorise it for when you need it. See Affirmations
[*]Be aware of those unhelpful thinking habits, including "compare and despair" - comparing yourself to others which trigger upsetting thoughts
[*]Ask yourself:
[*]Am I doing that "compare and despair" thing where I compare myself to others, which makes me feel bad about myself?
[*]Is there another way of looking at this?
[*]Am I getting things out of proportion?
[*]Am I underestimating my ability to cope?
[*]Am I mind-reading what others might be thinking?
[*]Am I doing that black-and-white thinking? There are shades of grey! I don't have to be 100% perfect, it's ok to be just ok.
[*]What advice would I give someone else in this situation?
[*]Am I putting more pressure on myself, setting up expectations of myself that are almost impossible? What would be more realistic?
[*]Just because I feel bad, doesn't mean things really are bad.
[*]What do I want or need from this person or situation? What do they want or need from me? Is there a compromise?
[*]What would be the consequences of responding the way I usually do?
[*]Is there another way of dealing with this? What would be the most helpful and effective action to take? (for me, for the situation, for the other person)
[*]Am I exaggerating the good aspects of others, and putting myself down? Or am I exaggerating the negative and minimising the positives? How would someone else see it? What’s the bigger picture?

When dealing with cravings or trying to break a binge:


[*]STOPP! Pause, take a breath
[*]Mindfulness - learn Mindful Breathing
[*]Drink a large glass of water, iced tea or vegetable juice, and pause
[*]Write down what you eat whilst you binge
[*]Focus your attention fully on another activity - Mindful activity
[*]Do something different (to what you normally do)
[*]If you carry on eating, eat very slowly, and mindfully. Eat foods that take more chewing such as raw vegetables
[*]Relaxation techniques - try lots and find one that works for you
[*]Put on some music - sing and dance along, or just listen attentively (use music that is likely to help you feel your desired emotion - avoid sad songs if you're depressed)
[*]Meditation or Prayer
[*]Help others
[*]Be with others - contact a friend, visit family
[*]Talk to someone
[*]Grounding techniques - look around you, what do you see, hear, smell, sense? Hold a comforting object.
[*]Engage in a hobby or other interest - if you don't have one, find one! What have you enjoyed in the past? What have you sometimes thought about doing but not got around to?
[*]Write down your thoughts and feelings - get them out of your head
[*]Just take one step at a time - don't plan too far ahead
[*]Pamper yourself - do something you really enjoy, or do something relaxing
[*]Positive self-talk - encourage yourself, tell yourself: I can do this, I am strong and capable - find an affirmation that works for you (even if you don't believe it at first!). Write it down and memorise it for when you need it. See Affirmations
[*]Do something creative - make a box of items that remind you to use the techniques that help, or put photos on paper, or write and decorate a list
[*]Use Safe Place Imagery
[*]Tell yourself: "This will pass, it's only temporary". "I've got through this before, I can do it now". When we're going through a tunnel and become fearful of being trapped, there's no point in stopping - we just have to carry on in order to reach the end of the tunnel. That light is there, and waiting!
[*]Find an alternative and healthier way of dealing with distress
[*]If you have a setback and binge - tell yourself it's ok, it's only once - don't dwell on it too much (other than see what triggered it so that you can then get back onto your self help plan)

 

[Pomooky125]

Thanks so much for this Mandy. I'm going to print it out and also take a look at the links. I can certainly identify with about 90% of it unfortunately.

Lovely day here - eaten well so far but not happy asI have gained a lb! Must try harder as there are 4 weeks and 3 days to June and I cannot face another fat summer.

Hope you are ok and feeling stronger today.

Pomooky XX

 

[Aline]

Good afternoon everyone,

Mandy, those infos are very good

Pomooky, I'm a bit perfectionist too... Don't worry about 1 pound gain, it's a little difference and you'll lose it soon.

x

 

[mandy0206]

Just wanted to share, I went out last night and had an apitizer and 2 drinks, and I did NOT purge, decided today I'm gonna try my hardest to stop this. * crosses fingers * Wish me luck !!!

 

[Aline]

Just wanted to share, I went out last night and had an apitizer and 2 drinks, and I did NOT purge, decided today I'm gonna try my hardest to stop this. * crosses fingers * Wish me luck !!!

:happy096:

Mandy, I'm sooo glad to know that you did the a real effort to refrain from purging
You're a strong woman and you did very well yesterday!

 

[Pomooky125]

Mandy

That's great, keep going Mandy - I wish you all the best!

Pomooky XX

 

[largelesley]

Hi guys sorry ive not been around
Aline micci pomooky hope you are all ok it just shows that in some ways we are moveing on and getting better we are not bingeing haf as much as we used too
Me im doing fine i had a good day out had a good tea fish and chips but it didnt lead to a binge
And i didnt purge
Had a few bad days last wk
But my lovely hubby is home today we have been apart for 9wks he is only home for 2 but im very happy
Is it to slushy to say life just feels better and im happier when hes around
Mandy im so glad you have taken your first step and can carry on
Thinking of you all take care xxxxx

 

[girlygirl1]

Well done hun! This is very good, and real progress.

One day at a time, you will get there x

 

[largelesley]

Hi guys wasnt going to post this as thot it to much info but i dont know maybe it will help
On wed i had a chat with the councilor i had spoke to before and after a chat about how id been
She asked how comfotrable id feel going way bak to when food started to be an issue for me
And oh my god it was like flood gates had opned things i obviously knew had hapened in my childhood
But didnt think they had still affected me now im older
Wont go into too much but i had 2 alcoholic parents and food was really scarce but only when i was really small by the time i was in my teens they had got help and ended up being good parents in their own way
But when i was little i could go for days with nothing and the free lunch we got at school was only meal i had
I remembered hanging around for 2nds and classmates saying i was greedy how had i forgotton that
Clearly my personal hygene was not good i was a child so didnt ave many friends
Fast forward a bit my mum died two yrs ago nearly and we had a good relationship mostly
But for yrs we didnt really see each other she asked me if i felt guilty about that
And i do i regret it yes every day
There was some other stuff but too much for this post
Sorry if ive bored anyone but it has made soe sense i didnt realise i still felt so bad and a bit angry at my childhood and the life i had
Take are guys xx

 

[mandy0206]

Hi guys wasnt going to post this as thot it to much info but i dont know maybe it will help
On wed i had a chat with the councilor i had spoke to before and after a chat about how id been
She asked how comfotrable id feel going way bak to when food started to be an issue for me
And oh my god it was like flood gates had opned things i obviously knew had hapened in my childhood
But didnt think they had still affected me now im older
Wont go into too much but i had 2 alcoholic parents and food was really scarce but only when i was really small by the time i was in my teens they had got help and ended up being good parents in their own way
But when i was little i could go for days with nothing and the free lunch we got at school was only meal i had
I remembered hanging around for 2nds and classmates saying i was greedy how had i forgotton that
Clearly my personal hygene was not good i was a child so didnt ave many friends
Fast forward a bit my mum died two yrs ago nearly and we had a good relationship mostly
But for yrs we didnt really see each other she asked me if i felt guilty about that
And i do i regret it yes every day
There was some other stuff but too much for this post
Sorry if ive bored anyone but it has made soe sense i didnt realise i still felt so bad and a bit angry at my childhood and the life i had
Take are guys xx

So sad ... I can relate, maybe that's y I like u!!! hang in their hun!

 

[mandy0206]

Bad news very disappointed in my self. I tried do freaking hard today and I couldn't !!! I walked 2 miles and ran for 45 mins. And ate a hotdog, and purged. I true so hard not to, but couldn't. And I was gonna keep my dinner down, I tried so so so so hard!!! Very sad. I'm going to look into getting help, because I thought soon as I decide I'm ready to stop, I can. But it must have just gotten so worst then I thought it was.
Not happy !!!!!!!

 

[Micci]

Hi Lesley,

that sounds like some really painful memories being relived, do you think it benefited? Have a hug here and now for little girl Lesley in such difficulties.

The re-evaluation co-counselling theory is that we need to discharge old griefs and pains with tears and anger, laughter even, before we can move on from them. Were you given advice where to go from here?

I find it really helpful to hear other peoples' stories - people who are in a similar situation. And am really happy for you that you are facing up to your problems. And know I've still a long way to go.

All seemed to be going smoothly, I started counselling, my boy was benefitting from his hospital stay and my surplus poundage was going.

Now I've started overeating again and putting it back. I suspect I'm afraid of change - change in my family life, change in that I'm having to plan for a move to a new town I don't know in a year or so, change in the way my body feels, facing my increasing age ... more maybe. I've a suspicion I might be hanging on to my extra fat as a way of hanging onto something familiar.

I know my over eating went back a long way, I remember my mother went to the extent of chaining up the fridge and food cupboard. I now understand a manically and greedily consuming child would have caused immense problems for her but I wished she could have seen I had problems then that needed helping. Still, she is still alive so I can see if she remembers what else was going on in the family at the time.

Its sunny here and I've a barbecue to start getting ready so I'll say good bye to every one and wish you all well for the day.

Micci

 

[Micci]

Bad news very disappointed in my self. I tried do freaking hard today and I couldn't !!! I walked 2 miles and ran for 45 mins. And ate a hotdog, and purged. I true so hard not to, but couldn't. And I was gonna keep my dinner down, I tried so so so so hard!!! Very sad. I'm going to look into getting help, because I thought soon as I decide I'm ready to stop, I can. But it must have just gotten so worst then I thought it was.
Not happy !!!!!!!

((((((((((((((((Mandy)))))))))))))))

 

[Pomooky125]

Mandy, a big hug to you - don't beat yourself up, your head has got into this habit over a long time and it will take a while to change your way of thinking. You said yourself you can't just stop but you have made the first steps as it will be a gradual process. Just out of interest I wonder if it is cos it was a hot dog and you consider it bad or would you have done the same with chicken salad?

Lesley, great that you went to see a counsellor. It must have been tough to open up but also a relief. I hope you carry on seeing her and can work your way through everything. You must be a tough cookie anyway to have got through your childhood and taken al those knocks as such a wee thing - this strength will help you now I think.

Micci, I understand about being scared of change. Just as I get to dropping weight, I overeat again. Maybe I think if I am slim people will notice me more (maybe even a man) and more will be expected of me. Hiding behind a middle age spread cuts you out of the race for being fashionable, attractive and sexy - it's a cop out, maybe?

Enjoy your BBQ and I hope everyone enjoys their day. Sun is out and I am going to try to relax and be a little more mindful - tho' after many years of looking ahead to the next thing and feeling anxious I'm not sure this will be easy!

Pomooky XX