Weds 07-01-09
6am Coffee, skim milk
7am Coffee, skim milk
9:30am LL Raisin bar
10:30 coffee w/skim milk
12:00noon Yogurt, Tofu and carrots
12:30 EXERCISE: 30 Minute brisk walk
8:00pm Healthy Choice Chicken Lasagna.
Breakdown of days % of calorie source: 53 carb/31 protein/16 fat
Daily Calorie intake Target: 1357 to 1526 (range is 10% - 20% , less then my BMR)
Calories consumed today: 861
Calories burned thru exercise: 108
Calories in: 753 too low again!
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I did not like having to eat the Frozen Lassagna, even if it was a 'healthy choice' or whatever. I am really trying to omit processed food entirely. In fact - thats the first time. but it was so late (after hours of discussion with OH about finances – which, well, that’s a whole other chapter about emotional triggers, which maybe I really should address. Hmmmmm…..I sense a stream of consciousness coming…..but I won;t go into it now)
Anyway, one of my lifestyle changes I am making permanent is to be done with dinner by 6:30 or 7pm at the latest. We used to eat between 8 and 9, sometimes later. Anyway, it was late, I was tired after spending the whole day completing job applications – one even 20 bloody pages long, and I probably won’t get the damn job anyway…lol…so it was a high stress day. I had this frozen lasagna in the freezer and I read the label – it all checked out….low fat, low carb, etc., so I felt that was better rather then trying to prepare something and then not eating until 8:30 or 9:00, and I was exhausted and wanted to go to bed and shut the day off. So I had it.
Thinking about last night, I have noticed and realised something today. I have looked over some of the days in my food diary over the last week or so, and some days, like today, I am not eating enough. And I realised I have been dealing with a lot of stuff….homesick through the holidays, big time…..redundancy and final notice given, now the panic to get a job in the next 3 weeks, ….taxes in the states need paying, I’ve been struggling with my own account, and talking about money nearly makes me physicaly ill (my ex and I had MAJOR MAJOR problems with money argument being the staple of our relationship – really horrible memories, and left me with sort of a “knee-jerk” reaction when money needs discussing. I just shut down and want to disappear. Its horrible really. Also, I realised on our last holiday in November that my arthritis is now presenting itself on the other side – my good side – of my neck. Slowly now, but unfortunately I know what lies ahead. ANd it is very difficult to sleep comfortably. Plus the waiting for an MRI for my hip – all this stuff, is starting to get on top of me a little bit. (I did see the consultant today so the request for MRI goes in now - plus some kind of electric test to test nerve damage progression or something)
So yeah - after loads of waffle - I think I am getting a little stressed.
But what is so blindingly amazing – is through all of this, I have not once reached for something to eat. Not once. Nor have I thought of it. In fact, I am eating less! Good grief – could I now be one of those “normal” people that stops eating when they get stressed??? Holy moly – LL really REALLY seems to have changed me……I just am starting to believe more and more , even with my wobbly doubtful moments – I am believing this is going to work.
A year ago, I’d barely be coming up for air – I would be burying myself in biscuits and bonbons and drowning myself in self-pity and soda.
(Though the weight was due to come off as I had a spike the week prior by simply introducing bread - so quick on, quick off. BUt I know the exercise helped.
:wow:
