CarlyLanky140 - 11 stone 1lb to lose (2 stone 0lb down, 9 stone 1lb to go)

[CarlyLanky140]

Awww thanks gang
[h=6]Tried a new army boot camp thing today... Trainer tried his best to discourage me but I did my best and pretty much kept up! At just under 18 stone I was pleased with myself it's outside 3 times a week... So gonna do that when I can and gym too one lass (who I looked at and instantly thought look how fit and slim she is should I go home) came straight over welcomed me and told me she was a 16 when she started x
[/h]

 

[AliGal]

Go, Carly!

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Thanks how's u doing? Good week? X

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Hello All!

I am here to waffle... I have felt quite emotional today... I read through the new WW mag that was delivered yesterday and all I did was cry.... I have felt like this all day

1. I hate my stupid job
2. I hate my stupid life
3. I hate being alone - I want a boyfriend/ a husband/ a house/ some kids... but firstly I want the dates and the fun times
4. I hate being fat

And most ridiculously - I feel like the only good thing is FOOD!!

I am sick of getting up every day to walk to work... then work for 8 - 12 hours ... then home/ eat/ gym in any order.. then sleep and do it all over again...

Then the weekend is spent either on call or just dreading being back at work....

I want to teach... I really do... I am just afraid... afraid it wont be what I expect.... afraid I wont be able to do it... afraid I will spend that money and wont ever get a job.....

I need to at least try!! I am scared too of handing in my notice.. of working two months somewhere I am hated (I have done that once already this year!).... I am scared of how my parents and more importantly my sister will respond as they are all against it...

But really today... I just feel alone... I feel sick of the monotony of my life... I genuinely felt like food was the only good thing.. that is ridiculous!!! I want life to be more than this...

Then just this evening I have been thinking about where I could have been by now if I was as committed to this as others... I have been on a diet since I was 11!! I once got to goal and since then have never stopped putting weight on... I really want this time to be it... I started a year ago and lost about 2 stone 7 by July and then since then I have been losing and gaining the same stone.... I want to break back into the 16s .... I want to keep going.... I want to get there.... what is stopping me?? Only me! That is the scariest thing... only me!

Anyways... back to the same old thing tomorrow... I am going to walk to work... and then do the military boot camp.. then maybe do a class at the gym... then eat and bed... I will do this.... I have until September... I want to start my course slimmer... and maybe there I will meet a nice fella?!

So back to it in the morning another good week and another good loss and less feeling sorry for myself.. xxxx

 

[AliGal]

Hope you are feeling better. I think sometimes the hormones flood out of our fat and get us. It's great you've started the Bootcamp.

It's great you posted what you were feeling. I sometimes write down everything that's not good, and then write some more, and then some more. It doesn't matter if you repest yourself. Then take it outside and burn it to bid farewell to past decisions and bad stuff.

I also recommend writing a really really really long list of positive reasons why you want to be at goal - 60 or more reasons. Then read them every day at least once in the morning and again when the demons are getting you. That's from the Beck solution - worth taking a look at it.

Are there any other things that will be in your new life that you can introduce now? Don't wait for 'perfect' weight to look after yourself. If you'll have a lovely bedroom, then make it as lovely as you can now. If you love flowers and rarely have them, find a plant that will last a long time (those £6 or £8 orchids usually do 6 weeks so are great value) and have it on your desk at work. Use a beautiful glass for your water. Write a long list of what makes you happy and see how many you can add into your life over the next 8 weeks. My list includes blowing bubbles and flying a kite. Things I hadn't done for years.

By the way, have you met your Fred? Is he called Fred or something else? I cam across this thread by a CD counsellor yesterday. It's great. http://www.minimins.com/bring-your-...follow/145230-changing-habits-using-fred.html Talking to the destructive part of oneself as a third party has helped me - so it was good to read this and find some people call theirs Fred!

Cherish yourself now and give yourself huge virtual hugs for deciding to move ahead. I hope your working week has started well.

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Awwww thanks so much I will write myself two lists and read about fred at the weekend x

 

[CarlyLanky140]

I lost 1lb this week... Not really sure how but I'll take it 4lb more to my lowest x

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Had a really tough day today... Had a fall out with my boss... I have worked 3 bank hols and my contract says I get 28 hols inc bank hols... I said I should get 1 day back in lieu... Didn't ask for 3 just one... But when I first started they paid me two extra days and I told them... They said I could keep it for the first two bank hols... But when I brought it up that I wanted one day back the boss said I would have to pay the days back... I couldn't be bothered to row and just said fine whatever...

This all happened on yet another day where I had worked my lunch and was planning to stay late (I'm there till 7/8/9/10 most days for no extra pay) and so I just flipped... I walked bk to my room took my coat and said "I'm going out" and just went and cried outside! I feel like I work so hard and get no thanks! I worked 3 bank hols and was only asking for one day back!!!

I decided that this is it... No more working lunch hours and staying late. If it isn't done then tough!!! I took about a 20 min lunch and eventually went bk. everyone knew I was upset and the girls were concerned but bosses said nothing. Boss still thinks I'm in the wrong! I'm exhausted. I genuinely felt like just handing my notice in.

But it's just 4 months till i leave for good! I hate this job. I hate the cynical nasty angry person it has made me!!

I can't wait to start teaching!!

This is my second weekend on call in a row and I'm in on Monday. Can't wait till next weekend as I'm off fri/sat/sun and the same the one after

I'm gonna have a real treat day today and start totally fresh tomorrow.


Cx

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Hello all

Hope ur all well

I have increased my membership from online back up to monthly pass and I'm going to a meeting on Monday - fresh start - gonna get new books, new weightloss card and some of the yummy treats u can only get at meeting x

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Hellooooo

Sometimes I really dislike my scales/ my body.. Lol

I have been off plan for about 9 days.... I am restarting meetings tomorrow at 5pm am looking forward to it... But nervous... Same so-so leader and new people... Really want to make friends like I did at SW... Fingers crossed

Now for the bad news.... In a week (Friday morning) I had put on 4lb... I was ok with that... But apparently since then I have put on another 9lb... 13lb in 9 days?! Wish I could lose that much in 9 days lol...

I'll be WI tomorrow eve so probs will weigh similar... No point sulking about it... Fresh start from tues am after the meeting... Gonna reset all my goals tomorrow after WI got 11 weeks till wedding... Need to get bk to gym

So fresh start

Got a lot of social events coming up... Festivals, weekends away, hen dos etc... Gonna try my best to stick to it xxx

 

[CarlyLanky140]

[h=6]All joined and threw myself into making friends - all much slimmer and much older members but all good I'm up 8lbs but down 30 still so onwards and downwards. Want 2 stone off on 11 weeks for being bridesmaid x[/h]

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Really shattered this morning... Didn't make it up in time to walk to work... And really busy tonight... Not to worry food can start today and exercise tomorrow x

 

[CarlyLanky140]

I lost 4lbs woop!! X

 

[boofle]

Well done carly fab result i joining sw in the morning lol x

 

[Pipaluk]

Well done on your loss, keep it up and you will have that extra weight off in no time! x

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Thanks Pipaluk!

Good luck with SW Boofle x

 

[boofle]

Thanks carly speak soon lol x

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Pop in and keep me updated x

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Hello everyone who still reads this

I am sick of making promises that this is the time I will get to goal... I'm sure u are all sick of reading it! It's been over 12 months since I started last April just after my birthday... And by June/July I had lost nearly 3 stone... Since then I have been up and down like a yo-to and have never broken the 3 stone barrier!

A lot of very inspirational period have lost a lot of weight... And I want to be one of them!

So I am not promising to be perfect or to lose every week coz I have a lot of festivals and weddings coming up....

But I am promising to try harder... To think twice and to exercise when I can...

So to remotivate here are my diet reasons:
1. To be able to shop in normal shops
2. To be able to wear the latest fashion
3. To feel confident
4. To love myself
5. To not have to wear leggings and cardigans in summer (with no sore legs and bingo wings)
6. To never avoid going our coz I hate myself
7. To never want to stay in bed because I can't bear another day feel uncomfortable in my own skin
8. To feel like I deserve someone to love

That will do for now....

And my upcoming goals now:
1. Wedding in 7 weeks - 1 stone off would be fab
2. Start uni in 12 weeks - to be 16 stone 7
3. NYE in 29 weeks - to be 14 stone 0
4. My 28th Bday in 43 weeks - to be 12 stone 7
5. Summer 2012 - Goal

I will take it 7lbs at a time and will treat myself for every 7lbs so its 5.5 from now for a treat

Here are some pics of me aged 18 and weighing around about my goal weight of 9 stone 4 (12-14 on bottom and 8-10 on top) xxx

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Well it's day 1 and I dragged my lazy fat arse out of bed and I'm waking to work for the first time in months Hopefully I can keep it up and got my food planned so here goes x