Helllllloooo my darlings!!
I am so pleased you are still checking in.. I hope you are all still subscribed... I have been keeping a list of things I need to tell you .... If I am honest I find that when I haven't been on here for a few days I put it off... the thought of all the pages and pages of reading stresses me out... I will pop into all your diaries but may only read the last few pages
So here are my things to tell you all:
1. Thursday 16th - The last time I was at a PT session he said something that hit home...."you train so hard... so how did this happen" - how did it happen? How did I let myself get to this? What was I playing at??? Unfortunately this comment didn't tip me over the edge... (the turning point will come)
2. Friday 17th - I went out for tapas with my aunt and uncle... and I tried prawns for the first time (granted they were bread crumbed but still a massive deal for me!) and I tried cold stuffed peppers... prefer the hot breaded ones....but was soooo proud to have tried.
3. Last week I was questioning trying something new... I love the "new plan" feeling and thought that that was what I needed.. I considered biggest loser or calorie counting.. But still didn't start.... it was my last week at work and I was working late, no time for gym so I basically took another week off plan...
4. I finished my job on Friday... I start the new job a week on Monday... I am nervous that they will expect too much but am looking forward to walking to and maybe home from work... have got my pedometer set up and ready.... I am going to go to gym after work too
5. Saturday 18th - I went shopping in town, Matalan and Asda
I spent a fair few pennies... bought loads of lovely new outfits for work... two dresses and new trousers and tops ... oooooo and got into a size 24 trousers
so pleased (disappointed that it isn't lower but pleased)....and I bought two kettlebells and a heart rate monitor too
was a nice little trip!!!
6. Then last week I got really down... trying on outfits for my leaving do... I felt disgusting.... I cried in a heap of clothes... and then on the leaving do night... I felt fat and horrible... all the others looked gorgeous and slim... I can't wait to be able to fit into skinny jeans... in fact I can't wait to just buy some jeans!!! I hate myself in trousers... I am so looking forward to nice tops and trousers
.. unfortunately that still wasn't rock bottom....
7. I put on 2lb this week.. so I am now 2 stone 7lb down...
8. My mum told me this weekend that they are looking at moving house.... feel crap... don't want to move... especially not from this house... I hate moving... but I know my opinion doesn't matter! I will see what they decide.... I am saving up pennies.. but if I start the PGCE in Sept I wont be able to move out for a good few years... Don't like that I am not a grown up yet hehe... but I will get there
9. I applied for student finance today... and am doing work experience in a school this week.... I really think that I will end up doing the PGCE this year... so excited.. but will give the new job a real go and see how it is
10. ROCK BOTTOM - I have done NOTHING but pig out for weeks... I have been horrendous in fact for months.. I had like 2 good weeks in January but really I have been horrendous since last summer when I went to the festival... I read my ww mag and got teary... and I even thought about how I want to look for my friends wedding.. and none of this was working.... then I forced myself to go to the gym.. first time in a week.. and during the class we had to do burpees.. the trainer knew I would struggle and basically suggested I just effectively do "get ups" from lying face down.. well I have never felt so humiliated.. it is not a pleasant sight seeing a fat lass jumping up and down... I walked out of the class and cried in the toilets.. I felt like utter crap.. I looked in the mirror and felt disgusting.... SO ROCK BOTTOM!!!
NOW FOR THE PLAN!!!!!!
1. No chocolate, cake, sweets, puddings or crisps...
2. I am going to have 3 meals a day and muller light after lunch/dinner (any flavour - i.e. can have choc/ pudding stuff in it but not actual choc or pud)
3. I am going to try to introduce veg with tea and a smoothie... will increase this slowly but aim is at least one of each every day...
4. I am going to walk to work every day... and maybe back... and I am going to go to the gym every week day (work depending)
5. I am going to stick with ww... and use mainly dailies and save weeklies for a weekend... where I may allow myself a treat (of the restricted items) or have booze ... and will use some weeklies for meals out...
6. March Challenge - I aim to lose 7lbs
7. Easter Challenge - I am to lose 1 stone by Easter
8. Bikini Challenge (by the wedding - 4th August) - Aim to be 14 stone (need to lose 3 stone 12)
9. Will get back to the C25k - Gonna repeat one or two of week 3 and then start week 4
So this is the plan... I wont punish myself too much if I miss a gym session or go astray but I will follow the plan... no treat nights either!
Well there we go... I am back... will get back to posting diary ... may not be able to get online every day but will do what I can...
Love to all xxxxx
