ProPoints CarlyLanky140's Food Diary (28/155lb)

Got my first silver 7 :) I am having a chilled out weekend. Got a couple of bottles of crabbies at 4pp a go. Just tried on a box of clothes that were too small for me but I can now fit into :D still have a box of stuff that is still a tad too small. But the fact there is a size 12 dress I wore to a mates wedding 3 years ago which is THE item I celebrated with when I was at my smallest is only an inch a wear from fitting I am over the moon :D

I had too much excitement this morning when I was witnessed and 5 ft away from a securitas driver being robbed.....
 
Well done for the silver 7 :) and fitting back into clothes... That's exciting about nearly fitting in the dress :)

Enjoy the crabbies!

Wow that's exciting and scary!! X
 
Well done for the bootcamp Carly! You should be so proud of yourself!
 
Thanks Cass :D x
 
Hello All!

I am here to waffle... I have felt quite emotional today... I read through the new WW mag that was delivered yesterday and all I did was cry.... I have felt like this all day

1. I hate my stupid job
2. I hate my stupid life
3. I hate being alone - I want a boyfriend/ a husband/ a house/ some kids... but firstly I want the dates and the fun times
4. I hate being fat

And most ridiculously - I feel like the only good thing is FOOD!!

I am sick of getting up every day to walk to work... then work for 8 - 12 hours ... then home/ eat/ gym in any order.. then sleep and do it all over again...

Then the weekend is spent either on call or just dreading being back at work....

I want to teach... I really do... I am just afraid... afraid it wont be what I expect.... afraid I wont be able to do it... afraid I will spend that money and wont ever get a job.....

I need to at least try!! I am scared too of handing in my notice.. of working two months somewhere I am hated (I have done that once already this year!).... I am scared of how my parents and more importantly my sister will respond as they are all against it...

But really today... I just feel alone... I feel sick of the monotony of my life... I genuinely felt like food was the only good thing.. that is ridiculous!!! I want life to be more than this...

Then just this evening I have been thinking about where I could have been by now if I was as committed to this as others... I have been on a diet since I was 11!! I once got to goal and since then have never stopped putting weight on... I really want this time to be it... I started a year ago and lost about 2 stone 7 by July and then since then I have been losing and gaining the same stone.... I want to break back into the 16s .... I want to keep going.... I want to get there.... what is stopping me?? Only me! That is the scariest thing... only me!

Anyways... back to the same old thing tomorrow... I am going to walk to work... and then do the military boot camp.. then maybe do a class at the gym... then eat and bed... I will do this.... I have until September... I want to start my course slimmer... and maybe there I will meet a nice fella?!

So back to it in the morning :D another good week and another good loss and less feeling sorry for myself.. xxxx
 
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Oh Carly, I don't know what to say to you. Life can be really hard sometimes :-(.

Although I am married with children now, there was a time when life wasn't that good for me. Before I met my husband, I was in a serious relationship with someone who was both emotionally and physically abusive to me. My weight plummeted to the point where I was a size 4/6 which is not good for my frame (I should be around a size 12). At the time the only good thing was that I liked my job. After leaving him I had to have therapy and was on anti depressants for a while.

I thought I would never find anyone and I would continue to be alone and unhappy but 2 years after I hit my lowest point, I married my husband.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I understand how you feel (although I went the opposite way with food) and you should realise what an inspiration you've been to so many people on here (myself included). Feel free to come on here any time to vent. It's good to get it off your chest :). It's certainly a lot cheaper that therapy :) :).

M xxxxxx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
Thanks sweetie and thank u for sharing! Big hugs :) x
 
You'll get through this. We're all here for you. xxx

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Thanks :) x
 
I lost 1lb this week... Not really sure how but I'll take it :) 4lb more to my lowest x
 
Not far to your lowest!! Well done hon :) xx

Sent from my Galaxy S using MiniMins
 
Thanks girlies :)

I miss u too... Just really busy...

Had a really tough day today... Had a fall out with my boss... I have worked 3 bank hols and my contract says I get 28 hols inc bank hols... I said I should get 1 day back in lieu... Didn't ask for 3 just one... But when I first started they paid me two extra days and I told them... They said I could keep it for the first two bank hols... But when I brought it up that I wanted one day back the boss said I would have to pay the days back... I couldn't be bothered to row and just said fine whatever...

This all happened on yet another day where I had worked my lunch and was planning to stay late (I'm there till 7/8/9/10 most days for no extra pay) and so I just flipped... I walked bk to my room took my coat and said "I'm going out" and just went and cried outside! I feel like I work so hard and get no thanks! I worked 3 bank hols and was only asking for one day back!!!

I decided that this is it... No more working lunch hours and staying late. If it isn't done then tough!!! I took about a 20 min lunch and eventually went bk. everyone knew I was upset and the girls were concerned but bosses said nothing. Boss still thinks I'm in the wrong! I'm exhausted. I genuinely felt like just handing my notice in.

But it's just 4 months till i leave for good! I hate this job. I hate the cynical nasty angry person it has made me!!

I can't wait to start teaching!!

This is my second weekend on call in a row and I'm in on Monday. Can't wait till next weekend as I'm off fri/sat/sun and the same the one after :D

I'm gonna have a real treat day today and start totally fresh tomorrow.


Cx
 
OMG.. What a d1ckhead!!!
HUGS hunnie...

This is the reason I WILL NOT work lunches or stay late no matter what needs doing.. Sometimes I even park around the corner when I know I'm nearing deadlines so I can say "sorry i've to meet a lift home, i've no car" so they can't guilt me into it.. You get no thanks or appreciation...
Do as u say n work yer hours n no more.. Feck that for a game soldiers....
 
Thanks ladies :D I will do that... although I may just stress that the work isn't done lol xx
 
Big hugs to you. I always say that if you're unhappy, leave which is exactly what you'll be doing soon. In the meantime, just work to rule as they say :).

This Too Shall Pass (that's my mantra for anything tough).
 
Thanks :D x
 
Your work needs to do one! :-( No more staying late and no lunch for no pay! Stop doing it hun they will soon realise how much u do! And in 4 months u can say up yours! haha xxx
 
Hope you're ok hun :( bloody work sounds awful!! Teaching is no way near as bad honest! Yeah defo in 4 months you can tell them to f off xxxxxxxxx
 
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