Claire's art of self-sabotage

I'm killing time before my interview at lunchtime so I thought I'd go buy new non-work clothes. Found nothing I really liked.

However, I have just bought 2 full new suits (2x jacket, skirt and dress combos) in a.... SIZE 16!!!!

now, before you get too excited, I've only tried on the jackets and they were a bit tight, but I got them on. Not intending on wearing them just now, but figured if I get offered this job, they'll fit properly by the time I start! :D

i might not get the job right enough, but I'll still wear them to my current job. Show everyone up since they all float about like grannies in their cardigans!

i have also developed an addiction to Starbucks tea. It's delicious. :)
 
Good luck today hun
 
Thank you :)

interview was fab. I want that job. It was weird because I felt like I knew them because I interviewed there before for this job and turned it down. I know they're interviewing one other person tomorrow, but i couldn't have had a better interview today. I hope they pick me again :)

sittin in the hairdressers with my foils in, looking fab! Got a cup of tea - silver service, I might add - and there's some sort of delicious looking biscuit on the tray. I don't have my glasses on, so I can't say for sure what it is. But I bet it's fabulous!


meeting the girls for dinner tonight, so this weeks we is a right off. Still not going up eat that biscuit though lol!
 
I lied. I just ate the biscuit.

In my feeble defense, my fitness pal said it was 36 calories and 6g carbs.
and it was breakfast.

and I don't even feel bad about it! LOL!
 
Well ended up going out for dinner with the OH. One of the girls was really unwell and went home to her bed, so we rescheduled.
I picked the OH up at his work and we went to the pub next door for dinner.

*** FOOD ALERT - LOOK AWAY NOW***

As I had only eaten that biscuit today I was absolutely starving by the time we got there and I wanted to eat everything on the menu. I really wanted to order soup with a crusty roll as a starter and then chicken fajitas for the main - with chips. However, I decided not to have the starter (even though I was salivating at the thought of a crusty roll with butter) and I opted for sirloin steak with coleslaw, mushrooms, side salad and blue cheese sauce.

I really did want to eat the fajitas, but, I really couldn't face the thought of kicking myself out of ketosis, and also, I knew I was hungry and not thinking straight. I made a reasonably sensible choice I think. Granted, I could have said no to the coleslaw, as I did to the compulsory side of fries/baked potato, but I really wanted the coleslaw.
While we were waiting though, the brought us... a hot crusty roll with butter!!! I did opt for the brown roll and not the white. And again, I know I could have said no, but I wanted it.

And it was gooooooodddd. I love bread. Love it.

I've added everything in to mfp and it's coming out at 858 calories and 50g carbs. Not a great day. But definitely not as bad as it could have been. If I have learned nothing today, its that I can actually make reasonably good food choices when it comes down to it. I didn't need my usual compulsory starter and/or desert, and I didnt order anything deep fried in batter - as much as I wanted to. They had the biggest chicken goujons I have ever seen in my life. Looked so crispy and I would have loved to dip them in a tub of mayo. But I didnt.

Think I was quite good.

So all in all, today has been a complete win all round - fab day shopping, great interview and a pretty healthy celebratory dinner. Even if I don't get the job, I really did enjoy the interview :)

Oh, and since eating that chicken tikka and mayo on Friday, I've not had constipation! I think the mayo ***TMI alert*** has greased the sides! hahaha!
God, a post about food and poop. Nice.
 
1.9lbs lost this week. Guess thats ok since I ate a jar of mayo and I was out for dinner on Tuesday night.
Also mean's I've hit the 2 stone lost bracket, which is great. Another 2lbs to go until I hit the 15s which will be fab.

I'm too impatient waiting to hear back about this job. If I don't hear back this morning I think my head might explode!!!
 
Didn't get the job. I don't know how it was possible to not get it, but I didn't.

I actually feel like crying about it.
I also want a cigarette (not smoked for years), food, and alcohol.

Not necessarily in that order.

Gutted. Just gutted.
 
Boooooooo how could they not pick you!!! send details and ill ship them a special corporate high five its amazing the high potential of office equipment:D

bless ya dont stress and munch out (I know im one to talk) try to look at the big picture you have a job thousands dont you have the chance to do a degree and become supreme ruler of the numbercrunchingtaxtype -slightly intimidating -to- mere -ludite -mortals universe !!!!!!!! and not forgeting end up with big posh glittery super boobs with no cardie in sight lol

so all in all its not too shabby:D:D:D

Sent from my GT-I9505 using MiniMins.com mobile app
 
Yes definitely some other plan for you. I promise you won't be looking back and saying you wish you had that job in a few month's time because something fabulous will have come along to take it's place.

Don't eat - you'll just feel gutted and full of self loathing at the same time - only works for as long as it takes to chew, speaking from experience. Great loss too but keep going 100% and you'll feel a lot different in a few days time.
 
Och I know. Just when you're pretty much told the job is yours and then they give it to someone else because 'they live a bit closer'.

I'm annoyed. Quite fancy a cigarette.
 
I ate everything. And it was tasteless, and I feel sick. But I ate it anyway.
I've realised that things don't taste as good as I thought they did. But I still ate it.

Feel like an addict, but the fix was ****.

Feel sick.
 
All I want today is alcohol and nicotine. In that order!
However, I'm sitting in Starbucks, drinking tea, watching the world go by. Booked in to see a hypnotherapist/spiritual healer, or something, tomorrow afternoon. I think I'm needing someone to help me with my head demons. It's going to cost me £150, and I need to pay it when I get home. Just can't quite decide if it will be worth it or not?
 
I decided just to book it. Its 2 hours (one hour to discuss my issues and a one hour session) so I'll see how it goes. She seemed pretty nice in her emails, so I have faith. And I guess belief is all I really need when it comes down to this sort of malarkey.

What's the worst that can happen? If I think it was a waste of time I just won't go back.
Cried for about half an hour when I got home and feel like an absolute bag of *****. I'm sure she can't make it any worse.
 
Made a chocolate shake pancake for breakfast. I did it in the frying pan. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I think it will take a bit of practice to get it just right. I think my pan was too hot, then too cold. My first attempt at it went in the bin, the second one I ate.

I will try it again tomorrow, or maybe make a pancake for desert later with some sugar free jelly.

Going to go for a walk down the beach before I need to go for my therapy later. Fresh air might do me the world of good.
 
ClaireCat said:
Made a chocolate shake pancake for breakfast. I did it in the frying pan. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I think it will take a bit of practice to get it just right. I think my pan was too hot, then too cold. My first attempt at it went in the bin, the second one I ate. I will try it again tomorrow, or maybe make a pancake for desert later with some sugar free jelly. Going to go for a walk down the beach before I need to go for my therapy later. Fresh air might do me the world of good.
Click to expand...


Try the oven hun mine still luk a mess lol bt if u use greaseproof paper tht helps a lot i mess up cz i dnt av ne greaseproof paper...if u do tht with one egg in the oven at 170 degrrees tho keep checking on it for abt ten minz or so :) mwaahz
 
Hi kid. How are you? I just caught up. I'm sorry to hear you're having a bit of a rough time.
I know how you feel. I've been there. Back when I did the diet last time I struggled with my demons big time and someone on this forum gave me a great advice.
Imagine if you were talking to yourself about your struggles. What would you say? What advice would you give? Try putting yourself in a place where you're having a conversation with yourself.
I think you are being very harsh on yourself to be honest. Give yourself some slack. You have done so well so far. Yeah. It sucks the job wasn't meant to be but like others said, it's because there's something better waiting for you in the pipeline.
Think of the reasons you started this plan in the first place. Are they still valid? In your heart of hearts you know what you need to do and I think it's very wise and brave to ask for help. I have been thinking of seeing someone as well. It can be very helpful.
Sending you lots of positive energy.

M x
 
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