Counselling - Not much help this week

Discussion in 'Bring your Head Inside and your Body will Follow' started by Sparkle, 14 February 2007 Social URL.

  1. Sparkle

    Sparkle Gold Member

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    Went to see the doctor again to check in. Basically I went last Monday and she gave me anxiety pills, as I was getting really anxious about work and not sleeping. Today she's given me sleeping tablets as I'm still having trouble, and she's advised that I go to a local Youth Trust place. Basically they offer counselling to under 25s, and she thinks I could benefit talkint to someone and trying to unravel everything around work and my anxiety and unhappiness etc.

    I popped in before I came back to work, and the lady on reception was actually trying to re-arrange some appointments today as she had had a cancellation, but she couldn't get hold of anyone. So - 'Right Place, Right Time' I suppose, I've got one of the afternoon slots today.

    Apparently it's going to be the same time every week for up to 6 weeks.
    My manager is off work today, so I had to confirm that I could leave early with her 'Number 2', and I feel really guilty, because our other collegue is leaving at 5pm today - I think for a driving lesson. So she's going to be on her own for the last half hour. So I feel really bad. Also she mentioned that I might have to work extra hours to make up for it - which kinda annoyed me as my colleague who leaves early for driving lessons all the time, doesn't have to.


    I'm really nervous. I've been on the list for counselling before but nothing has ever really happened. When I think of problems other people have, mine seem to petty and pointless. I feel like I'm going to be wasting her time.
     
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  3. Happe

    Happe escaping the fat

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    You willnot be wasting her time, if something is bothering you so much that its affecting yur life then it is important. You are important. Hope she can help you.
     
  4. Karen

    Karen Serial Foodie!

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    NOTHING is petty and pointless if it affects how u feel. your feelings matter and comparing them to other peoples problems is just a way of trying to make urself feel less important.

    you ARE important so dont worry about who is handling the last few minutes of the work day. u totally deserve to work out whats going wrong with ur sleeping and anxiety.

    Good god! other people have much more probs than me but i never even consider that that takes away from their power over me!

    good luck with ur first session. its great u got in on short notice. hope u find it of help to you. you do deserve to be happy.

    xxxxxxx
     
  5. Gen

    Gen Normal

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    hey... your problems are your problems and you won't be wasting her time at all!!! counselling rocks and you will feel on top of the world again in no time!!!

    Let us know how you get on

    love

    Gen xxx
     
  6. mags1x

    mags1x mags

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    definately not wasting anyones time!

    i'm just so pleased to hear that you are getting some help, its often a struggle for people to get counselling so its heartening to know that in some places at least, its readily available!

    Hope it helps you sort out whatever is bothering you, and don't be scared to bring up even the smallest of details at your sessions, it will surprise you how benificial it is to just 'get it off your chest'.

    Best wishes
    Mags
    xxx
     
  7. debz32

    debz32 Gold Member

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    ....and that's EXACTLY why you should go and get sorted !

    You are precious and deserve to feel happy with and in yourself.....take this time for YOU and try to get to the bottom of what's causing you to be so anxious....

    Take care.....look after yourself and let us know how you get on.....

    love

    Debz
    xx
     
  8. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    Hi Sparkle,

    I am glad you got your appointment and obviously something is going on when your doctor has given you anxiety tablets and sleeping tablets.

    Often, we find it hard ourselves to put our finger on the problem that is causing us so much trouble as we will often talk about the topics and not the issues.

    A good counsellor is worth her weight in gold as she will be able to unravel what it is that is going on.

    My advice is to be open and honest as you can for this will help her greatly to help you.

    I love this quote..."The most familiar is the most often the most unknown"!

    I hope you get some solutions and answers.

    Try not to let No. 2 upset you....

    Love Mini xxx
     
  9. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    It is good you have struck whilst the iron is hot so to speak and as Mini said a good counsellor is worth her weight in gold. More good advice from mini re being as honest and open as you can.

    Good luck - and just a thought, if your Doctor has sent you do people you work with normally get time off for Dr's appointments/dentists/ante natal etc?? If they do then I'd say you shouldn't have to make the time up ... if not well it will be worth making the time up if it helps you. And lots of good vibes being sent your way.
     
  10. debz32

    debz32 Gold Member

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    Hello Sparkle - just checking in to see how your first session went.....:confused:

    Hope you're feeling OK and were able to talk through some of the issues affecting you....

    Take care...

    love

    Debz
    xx
     
  11. Sparkle

    Sparkle Gold Member

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    Hi guys. First session went really well. The counsellor is really lovely, and made a lot of sense. She helped me see things from different perspectives, and asked me questions that I never would have considered as important, but the answers were invaluable.

    I went in thinking one thing, but came out considering other options.

    One point I made was that I don't feel fulfilled in this job, and I hate having to think about spending the rest of the year here - she turned around and asked me if I thought I would feel differently in any other job (not in the industry I want to work in), and I realised I wouldn't.

    Next week she's going to go through some breathing exercises to help me calm my anxiety.

    But a lot of good points were made, and I think I'm going to write them down, and read through them every day until they sink in.

    Amazing how much one session can help, I should be flying at the end of the course (6 sessions)!
     
  12. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    Just seen this thread Sparkle, Im so glad you got the chance for counselling and took it, and I hope you realise now that youre not wasting anyones time!!

    Glad it went well *HUGS*
     
  13. mags1x

    mags1x mags

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    I'm so glad it went well! she sounds lovely and just what you need!

    Mags
    xxx
     
  14. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    Hi Sparkle,

    That is good that you have got so much already out of this session.

    I am delighted you hit it off :)

    Love Mini xxx
     
  15. HelenG

    HelenG Member

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    Hi Sparkle

    I'm so glad you got to keep the appointment with the counsellor and that you found it so helpful. You might feel after another couple of sessions that you don't need to 'complete the course' (like when someone gets given antibiotics and doesn't take the last couple 'cause they felt OK?) but I heartily recommend that you do.;)

    As for making the time up, I believe that so long as you attempted to make the appointment outside of YOUR working hours and were unable to, your employer should look favourably on this. If they insist on you making up the time, ask them to confirm in writing that other employees are doing the same -use the example of the memeber of staff taking time out for driving lessons. :eek: As flirty40greeneyes mentioned you should not be made to do something other people are not asked to do. I do have to say at this point though that your employers are entitled to ask you to make up the time. I work in a GP surgery and we are all expected to make our appointments outside of working hours and if we can't we have to re-arrange our hours unless it is an emergency. May sound harsh but in reality they are extremely helpful.

    :mad: Don't think that you are unimportant, or rather that your concerns don't warrant as much time and effort as someone else's - YOU are, and you deserve the chance to 'improve your lot' in whatever way works. So here's to the next session:D

    Sorry if I'm rambling & hope this post doesn't make you angry
     
    Last edited: 15 February 2007
  16. Sparkle

    Sparkle Gold Member

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    Thank you very much for the lovely messages of support, I really appreciate it. I have a question though...

    The counsellor made a lot of sense, and helped untangle a lot of things.

    The question I have is this: How to you cope with the 'means to an end' phase?

    I'm currently in a job that I've been in for 13 months now. It started off as 'just a job' something to bring the money in, better then being unemployed. Then there was the possibility that it could be a career. It was something I was seriously considering last November. Then I had time to think about it and realised that it's not what I want to do, and I 'had an idea' of what I want to do.

    I'm now actively pursuing what I want to do - writing to the one company here that deals with it, and also saving as much money as possible, with the view to moving to London next year. So my current position has now become a stop gap. It pays okay, better then a lot of jobs here, so I can save that much more money, and possibly move to London sooner then if I worked someone else on a lower wage.

    The thing is I don't enjoy it, I find it completely unfulfilling. Having said that, the counsellor made a good point, basically any job that isn't in the industry I want to work in, I will find to be unfulfulling. This is a means to the end. So I now have to come to terms with the fact that for the next 10.5 months, I'm going to be a job that I don't enjoy, and don't find fulfilling.

    How do you deal with that? How do you push yourself through that? I'm trying to focus on the end result, on the beginning of next year when everything should start moving... But sometimes I catch site of the calendar/date and I find it quite demotivating to see that I've got another 10 months of this.

    Any advice?
     
  17. HelenG

    HelenG Member

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    Hi Sparkle

    One day at a time is usually a good way to take it. Look at all the positives you have already listed about the job you are doing - pays well, gets you closer to your goal quicker than not doing it etc.

    The one thing that is really important - KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN for other opportunities:eek: It's true that it is so much more easy to get another job while you are already employed than when you are already unemployed.

    You will be really surprised at what opportunities come your way - So the job may not be the most fullfilling you are ever going to have but maybe you are doing things in your personal life that you are getting much more out of than you ever thought you would

    I am one of the luckiest people in that I have been able to find a job that does not feel like work at all. However, my personal life sometimes feels like 'a means to an end' so when I have times like that I try to find a positive each day and focus on that.

    Just like these diets are a means to an end:rolleyes:

    Guess who's rambling again:D
     
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  19. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    Can you turn it round and see the current job as a means to helping you achieve what you really want. Without it you wont be able to follow your real dream and the job you want. Look on it as ONLY 10 months, less than a year. This time next year youll be a total WW expert, slim, and in the job you want... count off each month as a count down 10, 9, 8, 7.....

    Does that make any sense lol Some times I have awful trouble saying what Im thinking :eek:
     
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  20. AmandaJayne

    AmandaJayne Trainee Maintainer

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    That's a great way of seeing it Starlight!

    Deferred gratification is when you go through a period of discomfort or boredom in order to achieve a goal. That's just what you are doing at the moment Sparkle.

    If you can find the time to do a bit of visualisation and imagine twelve months ahead. Think how you'll be feeling working in London, doing a worthwhile job. Look on this time as preparation for your new life, try and make the best of the job you've got at the moment - it is your stepping stone to a new future!

    Best of luck!
     
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  21. Sparkle

    Sparkle Gold Member

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    I've tried the looking to the future and visualising how good it will be but I find it really difficult - and I think I've worked out why.

    I've wanted to work in this industry for a while, but never really done any work towards it as I didn't think it would be possible - Now I'm working towards it, and what if I can't do it? What if I get there and it's not as good as I had dreamed and hoped? What if it's really awful? What do I do then?
     
  22. AmandaJayne

    AmandaJayne Trainee Maintainer

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    Good morning Sparkle!

    I have a day off today so have only just got up!

    Well done you for having a go at the visualisation, Sparkle. It's interesting that doing it has brought up these feelings.

    Sounds like a self-confidence issue, you want it but don't think you can do it. As for 'what if it ain't as good as I'd hoped' - well, cross that bridge when you come to it.

    Think of your life as one big adventure. It may even be true - you DON'T like it. So what. Do something else instead. What is the worst that can happen?

    Bring this up when you next go to the counselling (it's great that you have been able to get such a quick set of appointments). It all seems to stem from your feelings of (lack of) self-worth which have cast doubts over every aspect of your life.

    Once you are able to start feeling good about yourself, your doubts will be irrelevant!

    I've heard that Paul McKenna has a good book/CD about self-confidence. See if you can get a copy from your library.
     
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