Fat and 50!! I think not..

Sounds idyllic. I imagine in reality it's not though. Italy for your Bday sounds great, and what fantatsic motivation. :)
 
Not the greatest of weeks :(

I had another Jamie at Home party last night and did O.K. but when I got home (11.30) my OH started moaning because in his eyes I hadn't made mountains of cash!!! I've tried explaining that it's the summer holidays and people are away or money tight for people but he can't see it :mad:

Anyway my mission today is not to go and drown myself in chocolate!! :eek:

I'm off to Brighton for the Jamie Jamboree tomorrow which should be a bit of fun down time but before I go I have to make sure there are meals cooked for my OH's Thurs. and Friday night dinners (yes really!!)...

I need to put me first a bit more and tell him to go take a jump if he doesn't like it.. Well that's what I need to do. Problem is it's not always so easy :ashamed0005:
 
Course it's not that easy!!! It's one thing recognisisng that you need to be more selfish and think about yourself a bit more, but actually putting it into practice is a whole other story!!

The problem with men is that they see things very black and white. He won't see how hard you worked last night, and how August is a difficult month, with everyone being away and paying for their holidays.
Roll on the winter months I say, you'll show him on the lead up to xmas!! :)

The weekend sounds fab. I absolutley love Brighton. I was born just down the road from there in Worthing. I miss it everyday! :) Are you going with friends?
 
I'm hoping to see my brother and his family (if only briefly) as they live in Burgess Hill :)
If I were going on my own I'd stop the night with them but going with 1 other and meeting up with others down there.. Should be a laugh anyway :D

I keep jumping on the scales and you know if you do that to often your weight up then down then STS...
So I've decided I 'm not going to weigh again until the end of the month. I'm going to put the scales on top of a cupboard and go cold turkey :-|
 
So off to Brighton today, stopping over night as it's the Jamie Jamboree tomorrow!! Whoop whoop :talk017:

I'm eating out tonight and tomorrows lunch is provided, so whilst I have some control over what I eat tonight tomorrow is all down to Jamie!!

I stayed the same again this week and to be honest I'm happy with that as I've had a Topic fest this week:eek:
So as from Saturday it's onward's and downwards for me...

Squeezy I forgot to answer you in my last post..

As far as village life being idyllic.. On the whole not to bad..Just don't upset the wrong person!!!

Italy for my birthday..FANTASTIC :D..... Last year I ended up helping with the Olive harvest..Great fun and rather a lot of vino:party0036:
 
Ooh Italy sounds fun!
 
Bostik...Yep Italy is fun :D

Thanks Squeezy ;)
 
Back form the Jamboree....

Great fun but eat far to much and although we did a lot of walking I'm sure it didn't wipe out all we ate!!!

The lunch that was provided was a carb fest!!

Wholemeal roll, with ham, a slice of lettuce and rhubarb chutney!!
A small pasts salad and a flapjack..
The drink choice was Innocent smoothy or apple juice.

And as if Jamie doesn't have enough talents... He also plays the drums!!!!
 
Glad you had a fab time hun. Well done on all the walking. Don't worry about everything you ate, you have got all week to work it off.

I have seen Jamie play the drums before, he used to be in a band!! :)
 
I've just weighed myself as I need to get my head in place to get back on the wagon... Despite the fact I've eaten rubbish since Thursday afternoon I've only put 2lbs on!! I would normally be mortified by that sort of gain but as I haven't counted a calorie since Wednesday, I can live with it...

I need to get my exercise head back on as it's been seriously lacking of late!! Planing my day properly will mean I have plenty of time to do at least a hours exercise, if not more..
My holiday is less than 3 months away and I want to be at least a stone down by then Very doable if I focus :D

I spent most of yesterday sat in front of my computer trawling through web sites :character00148: trying to find some local fetes I can take my Jamie at Home gear to get my face out there and people booking parties and buying things....

At least if I try and people don't put their hands in their pockets my OH can't nag :sigh:

So. Focus, focus,focus...........
 
Sooooooo... Having been working on the principle that chocolate comes from the coca bean which means it's a vegetable, which in turn means it's good for you. I have this week... Wait for it........

Eaten 3 large Cadburys Whole nut (I don't belive the spell checker has never seen Cadburys before:confused:)

12 Topic's..No that wasn't a miss type!!

The point of this is, if I don't own up to the c**p I'm eating. I'm going to carry on eating it :(

I know I've said I'm going to keep a food diary before and not followed through but if I want to loose the weight I need to walk the walk and not just talk the talk..

When I was in Brighton, the hotel room had a full length mirror. The bleeping thing did insist on pointing out the truth every time I went by in :eek::eek:

I've spent a large part of my life being told I'm not good enough and I never stick to anything and I suppose that somewhere deep down it sticks and when ever I try to stick to my weight loss plan, there's a little voice that starts saying "why bother?? You know you'll never stick to it.Who are you trying to kid??"

I along with my brothers suffered a lot of abuse as a child.. For me the abuse was taken a step further :tear_drop::tear_drop::tear_drop:.... And I think... I know.. I hide behind my weight. Use it as a shield..If I don't look attractive then I'm safe..... I've never told my OH about that part of my childhood..He knows bits. But coming from a loving "safe" home he doesn't understand..Don't get me wrong, he tries but if you haven't been through the things My brothers and I went through you can't...And I know if I told him the whole story he would unwittingly say the wrong thing and I would never forgive him :sigh:

I have good friend who know the whole truth.. Sometimes it's easier to tell our girlfriends things :eek: I even told my brothers.. They sort of knew.. It turns out my mum had blamed my dad.. He never laid a finger on me.. Two things make me very angry... Firstly I only found out she'd blamed my dad after he had passed over. So I wasn't able to tell him I knew it wasn't him.. Secondly.. My mum isn't what most people think of when they think of a Mother.. She beet us daily. She would rather get her hair done or buy a new outfit than put food on the table or pay the bills..So my teenage years were spent without gas or electricity in our home!! But the thing that really get's me is, if I had gone to her and told her what was happening to me she would have beaten the c**p out of me for letting it happen!!!

Sorry I've been ramberling.
 
I'm so sorry, LittleSis to hear about your tough life, I know crap happens but there shouldn't be any excuse for it. I can't do anything to help you right now, but please, step away from the chocolate!! Eating all that might make you feel better in the short term but after a while, when the calories mount up and the pounds go on, you'll feel terrible. Please don't do it!! :fingerscrossed:
 
Hey you. :)

Wow, you got alot out there. Does it feel any better for typing it out?? I sometimes write letters to various people about how I feel. I never send them, but it feels good to write it all out. :)

I can't say anything right now to take the pain and frustration away, but I am sending you lot's of love and my offer still stands if you ever want to PM me and ramble to your hearts content.

Tomorrow is another day diet wise, and I know if you plan your day you will be more succesful. I plan on having a fantatsic week with plenty of healthy eating and exercise, how bout it littlesis??

Lot's of love :hug99:
 
Thanks ladies :) And yes..It dose feel better getting it out... Sorry to have gone on but sometimes I feel like screaming..I know we all have those days..

Glad to see your feeling more positive Squeezy :D

Planing is the key and keeping a record of what I eat and I promise I will use mfp :)
 
Sorry for my rambeling last night ladies..:eek:

On the plus side I'm feeling very positive today, so I guess I just needed to get all my negative thought out :confused:

So under 3 months till my holiday. I recon I should be able to lose a stone by then.. So on wards and down wards :)
 
Don't apologise for rambling, thats the whole point of the diaries!!! :)

Onwards and downwards for me as well today. Fingers crossed for both of us. :)
 
I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to you. There's not much I can say about that as that is personal to you. But I can say this. Prove all those people wrong who said you aren't good enough and don't stick to things! Show them you are strong and can do what you set out to! Use it as motivation for this! Then you can look at them smugly when they are shocked to see how great you look! :)
 
Thanks Bostik :)
 
I'm so sorry to hear you had such an awful upbringing, I can't imagine how it must have been for you, and how it must feel now. Looking around at people's diaries this seems to be a reacurring theme - people and parents who treat children badly have so much to answer for.

But what I really wanted to say is that I hope that through the support you have on here, your OH and your brothers, that even though that time in your life will always be a part of you, you can move on from it and it won't stop you reaching the person who you really want to be. Sending hugs and positive vibes hun!

And feel free to ramble and rant as much as you like on here if it helps - I do find this site a kind of free therapy - although I've been very fortunate in my life not to have had any majorly upsetting experiences, I just like chocolate is all :D

Good luck hun, and I know you can do it :)
 
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