Getting my mojo back!

[Spanglymum]

I am feeling a bit slimmer, although I think the scales may flatline this week (I usually lose weight in chunks!). Two more weeks until I'm in NY. Trying to think of non-food cool stuff to do, like visit galleries and bookshops and possibly go listen to a music concert somewhere (nothing too expensive but there's loads on all the time so I should be able to find something). Oh and shopping - but not too much as I need to be sensible!

It will be brilliant to come home closer to goal.

 

[Debbi8489]

Morning Spangly

You were up early for a Sunday! Mind you, asbo dog woke me up at 3am and I only got back to sleep at 6am grrr. Its my only day off this week too!

I'll investigate that author. Any help I can get is most welcome lol.

I was struck by something you said. About looking at non food activities. One of my friends is going for a by pass op. He thinks the most difficult part will be socialising as it is all food based. All our activities are food based. Hmmm, I think we need to consider our non food based activities.

So it sounds like you are prepared for New York. FWIW, I think you'd be wise to stick to the packs. I've been messing about for about 6 months now. It's ridiculous!

Well done on the appraisal! Good for you. Here's to a fabulous 2013 xx

 

[Spanglymum]

Weird that I already knew before weighing that it would be a STS for me this week. Still feel gloomy about it though. I've just weighed myself. Ok, so maybe the unsweetened soya milk DOES make a difference? Bah!

(rebellious child, anyone?!) lol.

Ooh no, actually posting on another thread has reminded me that the difference this week was that I had bars. Two problems with this: one is that they trigger me (I think I get a big insulin rush from even thinking about sweet foods, and eating the bars definitely makes me peckish afterwards) and also they give me really bad indigestion (and diarrhoea! TMI)

I was using them up as I had seven... And kept thinking the tummy issues and munchies were something else but I'm pretty sure it's connected. I used to be able to eat LL bars without the tummy problem but wouldn't always have them as I found they gave me the munchies.

(I haven't succumbed, but I do think the insulin probably doesn't help!)

 

[Spanglymum]

Stayed the same

 

[Spanglymum]

Thanks, Adrian. I really appreciate your positive words (and I know you're right!)

 

[Spanglymum]

Feeling a bit low today. I'm glad it's Friday. I went swimming this morning too, which I'm proud of. The usual "crooked thoughts" around - "well, I stayed the same this week so I may as well give up as packs obviously aren't working" yadda yadda yawn. Madness. I'm sticking to it, because I KNOW IT WORKS but it's tough today. Not really sure why. Feeling a bit world weary in general today. Still, it's almost the weekend!

 

[Spanglymum]

Am hanging in there. I did my kettlebells DVD on Saturday night and tonight have booked to go to spinning. I had some wobbles yesterday when cooking for the family (by Sunday afternoon cooking all the meals tends to trigger my urge to pick) but managed to rein it in to a few bits of broccoli and a spoonful of egg mayonnaise, so carbs wise not too dreadful.

This time next week I'll be in NY! Really looking forward to it but also anxious about packs etc. I've ordered myself another week's worth in the hope that the new ones have the instructions printed on them so they will look less dubious in Customs! I am worried I am going to think myself into cheating, even though I want to get back to goal. Weird to be anxious about yourself! Hmm. Any suggestions on how to manage this?

 

[nzmegs]

Hi spangly. You seem to be doing well. I think that it will all fall into place once you are on your trip. Right now you are worrying about how it will be, but once you are on your way it will just be a nbormal eating week.

I have come down with a nasty cold and have been coughing constantly. Unfortunately this has meant that my diet has gone to pot. I have been eating all kinds of things i would normally avoid. I put it down to not having the energy to cook, not fancying anything good for me and feeling sorry for myself. This is the first time i have been sick since i lost the weight and it hasn't gone well! I have ordered some food online today and chosen foods which will keep me warm and on track. Soups, porridge with cream, eggs and greek yoghurt. My throat is seriously sore and my chest hurts from all the coughing, so i need soft foods and cooling ones. the carbs may be high in the porridge, but it will be quick and easy. I just want to be well again. Been 10 days so far....trying to work through it. Big mistake but one of the joys of being self employed! To make things worse my hubby is away right now. Could do with being looked after!

I hope you are well. try not to feel down. there is a good chance that it is related to a lack of carbs (less seratonin) and the weather. try taking vitamin D to help with the seasonal stuff and try to get out in the sunlight as much as you can. even in this weak sunlight it will help. Also just let it "wash" over you. All things will pass. the feeling of hunger, the feelings of sadness and the feeling like you want a certain food. it all passes eventually.

 

[Spanglymum]

Thanks, nzmegs, and I hope you feel better soon. I have a SAD lamp and need to actually remember to use it!!

In spite of the lowness, I motivated myself to go to a group cycling (spinning?) class last night. Crikey, it was hard! Good fun though - and good to feel I'm challenging myself and stepping outside my comfort zone. I'm optimistic that this will be the year I find the elusive balance between nutrition, mood and exercise. I'm trying, anyway!

I know you're right about NY but I've still got the voices in my head eek saying "oh but you don't know when you'll get to go back... just one slice of NY cheesecake... and peanut m&ms ..." All of which is fine, if it weren't for being scared that that "one slice" would turn into a carb-overload. I want to learn to trust myself.

It will take time!

 

[nzmegs]

What would we have learned in LL about this? At the end of the day it is just food, just a way to give our bodies energy and little more. We don't have an emotional need for food. Buy something which you know you want (and which you can't get here) and take it home with you. Give yourself permission to eat it when you reach goal and chances are you will decide against it in any case. But at least you made the choice.

Use all of those skills you learned in LL. I had a whole box of food i was going to eat when i stopped the diet. I didn't eat any of it....

I have just started reading Zoe Harcombes book. Why do we overeat when all we want is to be slim (something like that). Maybe you need some extra motivation from a good book for while you are away.

I have realised that i have three weeks till my night out and have 10 pounds to lose now. Put on a couple in the last few days due to being ill and eating poorly. it can be done, but i might be pushing it just a little bit.

I have a sad lamp too. I have it on my desk and use it every morning. However because my desk is in the conservatory, I get plenty of light during the spring and summer. So it isn't needed year round. I used to sit in the loft with no natural light at all. it was awful and my moods suffered.

 

[Spanglymum]

2lb off for me this week. I reckon that's pretty good, given I've stepped up the exercise and am also due on. (still wish it was more though!!)

 

[Debbi8489]

Spangly, how do you do the red ticks?

 

[Spanglymum]

They're one of the icons you can pick on the 'advanced' editing tab I think.

Had a bit of a rubbish day today. I was in the office and there's one woman who always rubs me up the wrong way. Aargh. I'll get over it, but after I've spent five minutes with her I always feel about this high. Everything is a competition. She's so fast fast fast all the time and oh she went for a run this morning and feels perfect because she doesn't get jetlag la de dah. And another woman who started out friendly today but then was going on about a colleague wanting a work life balance and how she was deluded because it ain't gonna happen and she should wake up and stop whining. oh, and why am I going to the conference? What a waste of money to send two people!?!

Ugh.

Thing is. Is it me? Am I slow? Am I wrong to want a work life balance? am I wrong to want to learn more and attend a conference?

I felt so good yesterday. I went to an art gallery and just had a lovely lovely day. Now I just feel drained and rubbish. Yes I've had carbs. But not a binge at all. I went to the gym last night as well so I feel pretty balanced. As long as I don't gain I will be content with that.

I know it's them, not me. And I'm tired and jet lagged. But ugh! can I just say UGH!!!?!!!

 

[nzmegs]

of course you can say UGH! I would say it too. it was office politics which sent me running for the hills and the confines of my home office. However having said that - as lovely as working alone sounds, there is the inevitable loneliness and i am sure you would miss the hustle and bustle of the office environment if you didn't have it.
generally office whining is all about jealousy and it comes most often from women who often feel undermined and competitive in their jobs. Women often feel like they have to show how hard they work compared to everyone else because it is often their only means of getting feedback or recognition for what they do. men however get more pay and more promotions so they already feel ok about their jobs.
I bet those other women are just reacting to how they feel they should be acting. Plus we all have pressures outside of work which make us act like idiots sometimes.
As hard as it is, you just need to let them get on with it and avoid the negativity if you can. you have the right to conduct yourself anyway you see fit when it comes to your career, your homelife and how you feel. Give them a wide berth until life starts to get normal again for you.

 

[Spanglymum]

Bother! I wrote a long reply yesterday but the internet must have swallowed it. Oh well.

I had a good day yesterday. I'm not looking forward to today as much as one of my colleagues will be here and I don't particularly want to spend any time with her. Did I mention the Bridget Jones 'jellyfish' idea? That's her to a T. Woke up this morning actually feeling guilty for being here!!?!

Got some great insights yesterday that will feed into a paper I've been labouring over for months now. I think some fresh ideas are just what I needed for the final push to get it finished. I'm planning to have a draft ready for my boss when he gets back from his holidays next week.

I could probably do with going to the gym again today as I'm feeling a bit lethargic and low. Definitely a plan as I could do with perking up a bit and getting cheery again!

 

[Spanglymum]

Would have been a good idea to go to the gym yesterday as (if it's even possible) I feel grotty today as well. I will see if I can fit in 45mins at the gym at some point today as I think it will help my mood. Missing my family

 

[nzmegs]

Spangly - I think I missed something. Are you in the US now? if so, then yes of course you will be feeling a little rough. Different environment, weird sleeping patterns, different food and being on your own. I can't offer any advice about missing your family - i know how that feels. it is just a case of making up for it when you get back. Sometimes time apart can make you appreciate them more and them, you. How are you doing on your diet. managing to stick to it?

 

[Spanglymum]

Yes I'm in NY at the moment for a publishing conference. Diet has been a bit wibbly. Not as mental as Christmas by far, but I've not been sticking to packs, and have definitely not been low carbing 100%. Maybe 70%? So not too drastic. Decided it would be easier as there are work meals etc... When I was bigger and did LL I didn't mind going to functions and having coffee, but now I'm only a hair's breadth into the 'overweight' category I don't want to draw attention to myself re vlcd use etc. so I will knuckle down when I get back. I also wanted to be able to choose to have food, without bingeing, and it's been good. I've had meat and veg and avoided bread and so on on the whole, apart from a burger (!) and fries (!) and peanut butter milkshake (!) from Shake Shack last night. It was lovely! I don't usually do 'junk' food, and this was really nice - organic meat and no trans fats ets so as burgers go not so terrible lol

And yummy

Giving a presentation tomorrow. Eek. Need to write it!

Also seeing an old colleague in a couple of hours' time. He's lovely, which is why I've arranged to meet him, but also very very senior and eminent in publishing, so I sometimes feel a bit scared of him even though we get on brilliantly! I still tend to do myself down I realise... At lunchtime I met some other publishing delegates and was talking about the books and journals programmes I'm responsible for and they were seriously impressed. I was surprised, and then realised that the quantity of books (high calibre academic books) we publish each year is pretty incredible! (757 academic, 170 higher education last year, plus paperbacks and new editions) and due to do 900 and 185 this year (plus pb and NEDs). And 70 journals. Phew. No wonder I get tired sometimes!

 

[nzmegs]

Your job sounds fab! You should be very proud to have such a high level of responsibility. I was also interested in getting into publishing at one time. (still am to an extent). As a copywriter, i thought it would be interesting to see the other side. Plus there are few opportunities for people interested in academic publishing where I live! But I do enjoy the freelance life. the money is awful unless you are willing to work all hours, but the lifestyle and flexibility is great. And with kids you need to be able to drop things at a minutes notice. My daughter is off school today for an inset day, as an example, and she is going to a party this afternoon. Situations like this would be a nightmare if I had to go out to work.

I went to a lighter life maintenance meeting the other night and I am so glad i did. I am now back on track - slimming and saving it for at least a week to get my head back where it should be. We talked about the cycle of change...and the fact that when we relapse it can take a few cycles of thinking about it before we get back to where we want to be and make a new change. then we are able to maintain that change again. But it is worth noting that once you know exactly what to do to lose the weight and get over the relapse, the time spent thinking about it reduces. So the damage done is less.

I give myself 5 pounds then I act. Right now I really need to lose 10 pounds to feel truly great - but I am still under a BMI of 25 so I am within my comfort zone. I am guessing that in the next week i will lose at least 3 - 5 pounds. I am even drinking loads of water. Wonders will never cease!

Enjoy NY. Think of it as a learning experience. Whatever spare time you have should be filled with exciting adventures. remember that eating is only a tiny part of life and that you can fill your days with so much more interest - especially in a new city. Don't leave NY wishing you had eaten less and seen more.

 

[Spanglymum]

Things work for us, familywise, because my husband retired on medical grounds a couple of years ago. This means he can be the one to pick up at the drop of a hat if need be, and do the school run etc. We both worked full-time when our elder daughter was younger - and it was a real juggling act. Sometimes I find it hard being out of the house for such long hours every day, but I prioritise family at weekends and spend as much quality time with the girls (ie painting, gardening, baking, playing Barbies etc) as possible (or as they want - if they are happy playing together I don't exactly foist myself on them lol.) Things will be much better balanced once the office moves to London. I'm in London tomorrow, which means I get to have breakfast with the rest of the family, and get home in plenty of time for bath and bedtime stories etc.

Back from NY and waistband is tight - but trousers still go on *just* - phew. Am going to knuckle back down again on Monday. (I'm giving myself a few days' grace to get over the jetlag and get back into some semblance of a normal routine.) I will PM you re meeting up!