Getting my mojo back!

[Spanglymum]

I'm glad I'm not alone. This weight /mind business is quite a pickle!

Had a couple of difficult moments yesterday. Firstly something that happened at work which I was annoyed about. Amazingly I didn't back down! I just very calmly expressed why it annoyed me, and my boss ended up agreeing with me!?!

Then in the evening I tried on some clothes I'd got from the COS sale. (I haven't bought anything for ages because of my money mess up last year and being bigger than I want to be.) Nothjng looked right, and (ugh) the sleeves on the dress were tight despite it being a size 16!!!!! Aaaaaargh.

Anyway. I stepped AWAY from the kitchen and went to bed. I'm a bit more sanguine about it this morning. I want to be size 10/12 again. I need to work out how I'm going to get there without triggering the urge to binge...

 

[Kira]

Spangly you did well with being assertive in the work situation and you'll do so on the weightloss journey too. It takes time and patience even on the vlcd route.

Well done on the race for life! Keep up the running if you can.

 

[Spanglymum]

So, the Plan!!! (Drum roll)


1. Enjoy the summer. If that includes barbecues and carbs and all manner of things, so what? As long as not totally gorging in gluttonous fashion, enjoy!!!
2. Rein back in for September and October. I have a school reunion in the first week of November. If that can't get me focused, I don't know what can!

Hope you're all too busy enjoying the weather to be on here reading my posts!

 

[Kira]

I can multitask! Indoors right now as pooped with the heat! So not used to this lovely weather!

sounds like a great plan for the rest of the summer and I'm sure you can enjoy the bbq's including carbs without gaining and you could still lose weight if you ensure there is a deficit I the calories. Rememebr it is tha mental approach to how much and how often we eat!

 

[Debbi8489]

As you know Spangly, I live in Scotland. Nae chance of me enjoying any nice weather lol. What is that again?

Festival has just started so we went to a show on Friday. DD has just moved out so she had me round for dinner tonight and took me to the pictures. Aw, she's such a sweetie. Who needs good weather? lol

 

[Spanglymum]

I used to have a love/hate relationship with the festival when I lived in Edinburgh. Loved lots of it but found the tourists annoying at times, taking over 'my' city. But on the whole I used to enjoy the madness of the Fringe particularly. The fireworks at the end were always brilliant and used to mark the end of summer for me.

Right. So where am I at?

Currently away with the in laws for a couple of nights. Which was very kindly meant and very generous of them as my mother in law wanted to give me a break (she's a very lovely person indeed). However you can't really give someone a break when they have two children and a disabled husband whose eyesight is failing ... We went to a wonderful motor museum yesterday: an Aladdin's cave of old cars and things ... And my husband was trying to push himself up a ramp but he misjudged it... And I witnessed him go right over backwards on his neck, wheelchair and all.

It's a miracle he was actually fine apart from some bruising. I was so scared.

But here's the thing: I have to keep going. And watch him slip away. Watch his body fail. And keep going ...

Weight wise - well I took a break, didn't I? Unhappy with what I see in the mirror and with how bits of my body feel. It all feels like a fat suit, something alien that I wish I could take off. I wish I could make my peace with food and not 'use' it but I am so so so tired and angry and frustrated and and and

And still got the mystery joint pain and so fed up of it. My joints sort of burn inside (I guess that's why they call it 'inflammation', eh?!) and I get this overwhelming fatigue at times... Not just a bit tired, but like it's coming over me in waves. Engulfing me. But all the blood tests etc have been negative (had this since eldest was born, eight years ago - and from time to time when it's got bad I've been to the GP). The rheumatology consultant I finally saw thinks it's the early stage of arthritis but because the tests are negative couldn't give a definitive diagnosis.

Sorry! What a moaning Minnie, eh?!

Time soon to refocus and get back to goal for this school reunion and (whispers) Christmas. I think it will be a relief to start losing again...

 

[Spanglymum]

Right... I promised myself that after my holiday I would knuckle down. I have a week off at the end of August, and then plan to be 100% throughout September and October - weekend off in November for a school reunion (25 years!!) - and then November/December if needed, to get back to goal before the office Christmas party lol. I WILL DO THIS.

 

[Kira]

Hey! Spangly I'm planning on sticking largely to S&S during September and aiming for 21 October to lose 10lbs. That's a pound a week for 10 weeks. I have a night out this Friday and plan to low carb then last week on August I'm in France and hopefully all the walking will at least help me maintain on my rerun 2 Sep. I'd so love o be back in 8's in 2 weeks time.

so I'm with you on this!

 

[Debbi8489]

I love the festival spangly, but trying to get on with normality is really difficult lol. I dont work near the city centre, so its ok for me.

You must have got such a fright with your husband's fall. I'd missed that you were having pains. I hope you get to the bottom of it soon. I think that you have every right to be a moaning minnie...not that you are!

Good luck with your food plans. Its difficult when the routine is out of the window, isnt it? Can you believe that the kids in Edinburgh are back to school tomorrow?? Thats very early...the kids here arent back til next Wednesday.

 

[Kira]

Spangly I feel terrible I didn't comment about how difficult things have been for you! So insensitive of me wrapped in up in weightloss issues!

I do hope you and your husband are ok after the fall. I can only imagine how you must feel him slipping away. I genuinely feel awful I didn't comment on my post earlier to you... I logged on to forum am was only focused on diet loing weight out not losing weight and feeling sorry or myself!

Hope you've had a good day both diet wise and otherwise. X

 

[Spanglymum]

Kira, you're so sweet, but please don't feel bad! It's not a problem!

Struggling at the moment. I seem to have lost my (brief) moment of blissful equilibrium. I'm back to beating myself up for EVERYTHING and feeling sad about my body and all those beautiful clothes I can't wear at the moment. And wishing I could start packs NOW - which I could of course, but don't want to because I'm enjoying the freedom ...

So lots of "crooked thinking" (remember that?) but a feeling that the end is in sight in various ways. For one thing I have a whole week off coming up!!!

 

[Kira]

It is so hard to really get going on a vlcd after having been successful first time around. But using it as tool and choosing healthier less calorie laden foods is a good combination too. It's getting that balance right especially when we are feeling so low.

On Lilly's thread we've been discussing Bach flowers remedies as someone had strongly recommended them and I think it may be worth having a try?

im glad y ou have your week off to look forward to as then you can really focus on yourself. X

 

[Spanglymum]

So lovely to know I'm understood. Bit anxious about how to make the most of my week off. What I usually allow to happen is that I look after everybody. But not myself. I spend any days off (including weekends) tidying up the house, cooking, and organising things for everyone to do. Then sulking lol.

 

[Kira]

Try leaving the housework for a few days. The world will not end (although I think some would freak out at that suggestion and I used to be one those kind of people!) it is liberating just like when one makes the decision not to diet for a day.

Think about you and no one else if only for a couple of days.

 

[Spanglymum]

I agree 100% re chores but can't in practice do the thinking about only myself because what happens is...

Sit down for a cup of tea and a magazine. 'Mummy, where's my... Can you put this on Barbie? My sister's not sharing'

Or 'do you know where X is?' From my husband. Or, 'sorry to bother you when you're having a break but can you reach for X for me?' etc etc.

The problem is I'm able-bodied and my husband isn't. So whenever I'm at home I am the first port of call.

 

[Kira]

Morning Spangly. Ok I'm going to be blunt you (like me) are making excuses before you've got there.

how about planning ahead for your time off like you would a work assignment or task? Get your girls and husband on board, explain that during your week off there will be certain times in the day theta you are out of bounds only an hour or two where they can ask you something in an emergency. Get the girls on board as if to make it a fun game and that they have to help daddy whilst you ave you time. It's just a suggestion but I've managed if only for an hour or two with my 10 year old when he was younger of only for a short period of time.

The idea of relaxing in ones home own sound great but I know in practice the chores, family don't actually make it a relaxing place so you,have to force yourself to switch off. X

 

[Spanglymum]

Hehe. I actually said to my girls yesterday that Mummy will be having a break at times next week and won't want to be disturbed and they looked surprised at first but then got it. Thanks for the bluntness!

Yesterday was a bit of a breakthrough. I got annoyed about something at work (constructively) and was able to express it, got respect for speaking my mind, AND the outcome I wanted. Go me!

Only down side is I feel huuuuuge and am starting to worry about a school reunion in November. How much weight can I lose in nine weeks?!

Need to have a think about this year. It's frankly been a mess, weight-wise. Not sure why... Other than greed? Bingeing?

Hmm.

Got big meetings tomorrow (actually today - it's the wee small hours). Ugh. Three more days till my week off!!

So sore as well. My joints feel really sore and swollen. I had to take my rings off yesterday. This isn't just weight gain. It's getting quite painful. I'm going to the GP next week. Doesn't help with maintaining a positive mental attitude!

On the plus side? Still producing masses of courgettes, tomatoes and runner beans, and planning my garden for the winter/next year. And next year should be easier in a lot of ways as my commute will reduce from 1.5 to two hours each way to 40mins each way. That's got to be good!

 

[cakeordeath]

Hello Spangly

Hope you are ok.
I think that it is really fantastic that you make sure you always have a creative outlet whether it is painting or gardening.......it is food for the soul....

 

[Debbi8489]

Very jealous about your veg. I'm hoping that next year will be productive once the building site becomes a garden agsin lol.

You'll find the difference in commute will have such a positive impact. I've got a new job and the difference in commute is just fantastic. Love it

 

[Spanglymum]

Hellooo! Is anyone still here? I'm going back on plan on Wednesday (the day I go back to work). No messing. 100% through to the start of November, when I have a school reunion. Nine weeks. I'm hoping I can lose at least two stone... So won't be having soya milk in my tea or any water flavourings or anything with strong caffeine in it. I know these things have stalled me in the past and I. Need. To. Do. This.

And meanwhile work out just what is going on with me and carbs. It's pure addiction I think. Out of control. Weird. Anyway, it is what it is and I've succeeded before and can do so again. I will do this. No messing!!