gutted

[Goose1]

I did have it out with him and just turned it back on me. My problems are my own doing etc. I told him, he wouldnt entice anyone to visit. I am doing it out of duty now. I am the only one of us he treats like that. There are 8 of us. Two of us, me and another sister travel every other weekend to see him shop, cook etc. The others do their own thing.

God he sounds like a right little gem i understand the whole duty thing i looked after my father when he had a heart attack and then heart surgery , not because i wanted to but because i felt i had to, does he live very far away or could you perhaps cook the food and bring it with you so as to spend as little time there as possible ? You are doing fab to have lost as much as you have with that negativity and the next pound you lose shove 2 fingers up at him x x

 

[Annie272]

He he Goose. I used to live 80 miles away and went every second weekend for ten years. Now i have moved closer and am 20 mins away. I still stay one night every second weekend coz he asked me to.

 

[harriet2]

What lovely replies. Thank you xxxx my dad disowned me when I got pregnant at 40. My gorgeous sons dad is not in his life. His choice. My dad now loves my son but hates me. I have a sister who drifted away from us years ago and he thinks more of her.

Goose so sorry hun, your mam was so young, mine was 56. My dad has no interest in meeting anyone but sits at home staring out the window!!!!

its sounds like hes depressed..perhaps some councelling would help him if hes open to it?

best wishes

h x

 

[Annie272]

Tried to get him to counselling when mam died 13 years ago but he doesnt believe in that. Just wish he wouldnt take it out on me

 

[LV30]

So sorry to read about this. Don't understand why he's got to be so nasty to you.

Could you not stay over next time - still go and do his shopping, and whatever else you do... but just don't stay - and if he asks why, say he really upset you the last time you stayed... don't get into an argument with him, and if he starts having a go - you can tell him this is exactly why you aren't staying TONIGHT... and leave. Just go home with your baby and have a lovely evening!!

Balls to him!! You haven't got to take this kinda rubbish from anyone...

Take care lovely - and you are doing really well - and what a brilliant incentive to keep on going - prove him wrong!!

Lx

 

[Rachel57]

If he's anything like my dad then anything you do will never be good enough . My dad didn't have a maternal bone in his body and constantly put my mother down to me when i was a kid . As an adult he must of still saw my mam in me leading him to be just plain horrible , him of all people used to challenge everything i said or did regarding my kids , if i gave them an ice lolly it would be " you'll make them have bad teeth " ! I think my father always set me up to fail as he couldn't get his head round the fact i was quite "brainy " with a good head on my shoulders . After years of him trying to tell me what to do i finally took our so called father daughter relationship for what it was and basically chose not ti see him again ( there was other factors round my decision) . And you know what ? I've never been so happier ! Im not saying that this is the option you should take ,but maybe having a word with him see where it goes from there and if nothing changes then keep your distance for a while , he'll soon known which side his breads buttered once your not there to do his cleaning etc . Don't be down trodden by anyone family or no family . Use his negative comments as the powerhouse for your weight loss ! Good luck hun X

 

[Annie272]

LV30 and Rachel, thank you for your replies. LV that is my plan for the next time and see what happens.

Rachel, your dad sounds exactly like mine. Even down to criticsms to do with my son. Makes me out to be a bad mother :-(

Meet my son x

 

[Everhopeful]

Annie, I think your dad does need help but not from you. Not with his attitude towards you. A doctor perhaps?

However much your dad hurts you, you have many friends here & all our support. Hold you head up hun & show him you won't be downtrodden.

Oh Annie, what a super little boy! No wonder you're proud of him.

 

[Annie272]

He is 73 now and so set in his ways, he wont accept help at this stage.

Thank you hun, he is adorable x

 

[whoopsadolly]

Annie, your son is just gorg!! Focus on him hun and don't waste any more energy on your dad xxx

 

[Annie272]

Thank you hun x

 

[Goose1]

He he Goose. I used to live 80 miles away and went every second weekend for ten years. Now i have moved closer and am 20 mins away. I still stay one night every second weekend coz he asked me to.

Fair play you are so good to keep doing it even after all he puts you through. He doesnt realise how lucky he is to have you. Your son is a beauty and should be so proud so for yourself now to be happy keep losing those pounds and any time your down or daddy dearest shoots his mouth off come on here and we will look after you and spur you on x x

 

[Annie272]

Aw thank you honey. It isnt nice to have such a volatile relationship. He adores my son and vice versa and that is why I do it. My confidence is already at an all time low with babas dad not sticking around without this. I blame myself that I am still single and am not wanted.

 

[Goose1]

Aw thank you honey. It isnt nice to have such a volatile relationship. He adores my son and vice versa and that is why I do it. My confidence is already at an all time low with babas dad not sticking around without this. I blame myself that I am still single and am not wanted.

Dont think like that Annie you just hve not met the right man yet and baba s dad is the only one missing out by not sticking around cos he has a very kind and thoughtful mum. You will get your confidence back when you keep losing your weight so please dont give up or let anyone set you back x x

 

[Annie272]

Think i am going to be up tomorrow at weigh in which will so upset me :-(

 

[Goose1]

Think i am going to be up tomorrow at weigh in which will so upset me :-(

Dont worry until after your wi and then dust yourself off and start a new wk. Dont throw away all your hard work. You have 1 stone gone so just start on the next one thurs morning xx x x come on tomorrow and let us know how you did x x

 

[Annie272]

I will hun and thank you for listening xxx

 

[Annie272]

Up half a pound, not too bad

 

[Goose1]

Up half a pound, not too bad

Not bad at all now have a nice treat after wi and back to business tomorrow x

 

[Everhopeful]

Not bad at all now have a nice treat after wi and back to business tomorrow x

I agree, you're doing fine.