Have you ever had to 'dump' a friend?

[Mrs CC]

How can I go about this without causing any upset?! Situation is I've been friends with this person for number of years after being in the same situation with them. Now a few years down the line and we're both no longer in said situation I'm feeling more and more like circumstances at the time were all we had in common. I find it difficult to make conversation with them. We still keep in touch by way of the odd text and catch up, but am finding more and more I don't enjoy these catch ups and I come away questioning the friendship. There hasn't been any fall out between us which makes it very difficult. I don't want to hurt their feelings as they are a lovely person, they just dont like the same things I do anymore

 

[AnnaFaraday]

Why do you have to do anything? Why not just let the gaps between texting and catching up get longer, until things fizzle out? Then there is no need for any hurt feelings.

After all, for all you know, she might feel the same way.

 

[Mrs CC]

Why do you have to do anything? Why not just let the gaps between texting and catching up get longer, until things fizzle out? Then there is no need for any hurt feelings.

After all, for all you know, she might feel the same way.

To be fair I had thought they might feel the same and I haven't initiated any contact with them for some time, but have been contacted by them recently talking about catching up again soon. Which surprised me cos after last time I felt it was very akward. I dont wanna have to make up some excuse why I dont wanna meet up with them or just ignore their messages but I dont know whats the best way of being honest without upsetting them.

 

[Sparkswillfly]

Maybe they've contacted you to see how you would react to meeting again?

I had the exact same thing, we went MONTHS without a single exchange then they would ask to meet and then cancel at last minute. I didn't reply to her last message and there's been no contact since, well over a year ago.

 

[Flymetodunoon]

Every time your friend texts you leave it longer and longer before you reply. When she suggests meeting up always 'be busy'. Unless she has the hide of a rhino she should hopefully get the message without you having to spell it out.

 

[StarGir1]

Why do you have to do anything? Why not just let the gaps between texting and catching up get longer, until things fizzle out? Then there is no need for any hurt feelings.

After all, for all you know, she might feel the same way.

I agree with this 100%, I had a friend who I had known since childhood and we had grown up together but now we're both in our 20's we just had nothing in common anymore, she was a nice person but it felt like when we met up it was just for the sake of it rather than because we enjoyed spending time together. It got to the stage where I knew I didn't want to see her again but didn't want to hurt her feeling or leave any bad feeling between us so whenever she text me I would take longer and longer to reply and would set a date to meet up quite far in advance which inevitably ended up being cancelled by one or the other of us until it just got to the stage where neither of us suggested meeting up any more and we just drifted apart. We have bumped in to each other since and it was fine and there were no hard feelings plus we have exchanged a few text messages but although sad to lose someone who was a friend it was worth is as no more wasted evenings where neither of us wanted to be there so it has worked out well for both of us.

Isn't it strange when you want to end a relationship with a partner it's hard but you kind of know what to do but when it comes to ending friendships it's such a tough situation and no one ever talks about it?

Good luck Mrs CC with this xx

 

[Sinead6uk]

i've had this situation too. i found sending vague replies like "yeah we should definitely catch up soon" but not actually saying when or "got a mad few weeks coming up but "we" should sort something out after that" nothing ever came of it then it eventually fizzled out. it's awkward but i feel like she felt the same so I dont feel too bad. I think when you get older you know who you really want to be friends with and who you keep in touch with just for the sake of it.
good luck xx