Hello new weight loss blog :D
- Thread starter Smiley Bon
- Start date
Smiley Bon
Silver Member
Hey Dee 
nice to meet you a fellow Newcastle person! I have never been to Killingworth, but i have heard of it! hee. I live down by the river in Gateshead, I have only been up here about 7 years (woah hadn't realised it was that long!!) I work in the town centre yeah, at some offices near the Theatre Royal. My Boyf works near the Metrocentre too, so I am often there hehe, it's a small world!
Your daughter's wedding it a nice goal to aim for the pictures will be so lovely bet you cant wait!
nice to meet you a fellow Newcastle person! I have never been to Killingworth, but i have heard of it! hee. I live down by the river in Gateshead, I have only been up here about 7 years (woah hadn't realised it was that long!!) I work in the town centre yeah, at some offices near the Theatre Royal. My Boyf works near the Metrocentre too, so I am often there hehe, it's a small world!Your daughter's wedding it a nice goal to aim for
the pictures will be so lovely bet you cant wait!
Smiley Bon
Silver Member
Well I am well and truly feeling sorry for myself I bought some scales today and . I have always hated weighing myself, but i knew i needed to know so that i can see some results...
I got some posh ones too that measure your BMI and water and fat amount. So i measured it this morning, when i hadnt eatne anything, and i am the largest and unfittest I have ever ever been
I know have just been through 6 months of chemo, and they were giving me steroids to fatten me up a bit, but i wasnt exactly thin before then! ha. So i am more determined than ever to get healthy, I dont want any more scary health worries, and its up to me to sort that out.
I bought some scales today and . I have always hated weighing myself, but i knew i needed to know so that i can see some results... I got some posh ones too that measure your BMI and water and fat amount. So i measured it this morning, when i hadnt eatne anything, and i am the largest and unfittest I have ever ever been
I know have just been through 6 months of chemo, and they were giving me steroids to fatten me up a bit, but i wasnt exactly thin before then! ha. So i am more determined than ever to get healthy, I dont want any more scary health worries, and its up to me to sort that out.
Smiley Bon
Silver Member
Hee you're a proper Geordie then
Ha, that's funny, I have been at the QE a lot over the past few months!! was there this morning actually. I was diagnosed with Lymphoma in July, so had my chemo there and check ups and the like, it's such a small world!!!
Ha, that's funny, I have been at the QE a lot over the past few months!! was there this morning actually. I was diagnosed with Lymphoma in July, so had my chemo there and check ups and the like, it's such a small world!!!
Smiley Bon
Silver Member
Ah, I don't know that ward... I had a couple of stays in Ward 17 which wasn't so fun
Yeah I found the chemo day unit to be lovely, everyone is so friendly I have finished my chemo now though finished about 5 weeks ago and am now on the road to a normal life again! hence the dieting and getting my body healthy.
Thanks for the messages
Yeah I found the chemo day unit to be lovely, everyone is so friendly
I have finished my chemo now though finished about 5 weeks ago and am now on the road to a normal life again! hence the dieting and getting my body healthy.Thanks for the messages
Smiley Bon
Silver Member
Well I am feeling quite rubbish today I am just tired of all this effort with food... I should be enjoying life now but nope i am restricting it gah. I weighed just under 13 and a half stone when i started chemo... now I am over 14 that's pigging depressing I hate it. I couldn't eat much while I was going through it, so now I should be enjoying food, but I am not, I am stressing about getting rid of this extra weight and wanting to fit in a bridesmaid dress. Gah.
Well I need to keep thinking about this as health... I want to get my health sorted out, there is no way I want more hospital stuff in the future, so all this is for that. That's how I need to think of it.
Me and my boyf have had some really good conversations about our attitude to food, I always thought he didn't understand that part of me, as he is skinny and has a take it or leave it attitude to food... but he doesn't really, he eats when he is bored, and this is mainly at work... at home he gets engrossed in games and therefore doesnt think about food... so that was all very interesting, and it was nice to talk about and have him understand and reassure me... So he is helping me and he is doing a good job at it too, he understands me and how to help me so that's all nice, it's brought us closer in a way, as my addiction to food has always been there but something I've not really opened up about...
Sooo anyway. I am still perminatly hungry... there is so something wrong with me it doesn't make sense, so i am going to mention it to my consultant man when I see him tomorrow, I think I'll ask peeps on the lymphoma forum too... I dont get it, but I am sure it is related as it's been ever since i finished chemo.
Gah bleeding messed up body But it is getting there i suppose it just takes time to get back to normal...
Sooooo yeah, am depressed I weigh more than 14 stone i never have before and i was a big child... so that's depressing. But it wont be like this for long. I am doing really good.
I am worried about when I go home though... as in to Mum and Dads, am going there this Friday til Thursday, I never find it easy to eat well when I am away. On the plus side they always have a full fruit bowl, so i can snack on that.
You know I have always had a problem with fruit, where i want to eat more of it but never fancy it... well this weekend when we had no fruit in the house I really missed it! i was craving it! ha. I am chuffed with myself So I shall get some more from the market at lunch time
So yeah, am a bit mopey today :S Silly i know, but I think I'm tired too, and of course there are the Monday morning blues...
I've had Coco Pops and a coffee this morning. I have an egg salad sandwich and some Snack A Jacks for lunch then tea is beans on toast. That's all good
Right I actually have work to do at work, so i should get back to it... byeeeee
I am just tired of all this effort with food... I should be enjoying life now but nope i am restricting it gah. I weighed just under 13 and a half stone when i started chemo... now I am over 14 that's pigging depressing I hate it. I couldn't eat much while I was going through it, so now I should be enjoying food, but I am not, I am stressing about getting rid of this extra weight and wanting to fit in a bridesmaid dress. Gah. Well I need to keep thinking about this as health... I want to get my health sorted out, there is no way I want more hospital stuff in the future, so all this is for that. That's how I need to think of it.
Me and my boyf have had some really good conversations about our attitude to food, I always thought he didn't understand that part of me, as he is skinny and has a take it or leave it attitude to food... but he doesn't really, he eats when he is bored, and this is mainly at work... at home he gets engrossed in games and therefore doesnt think about food... so that was all very interesting, and it was nice to talk about and have him understand and reassure me... So he is helping me and he is doing a good job at it too, he understands me and how to help me
so that's all nice, it's brought us closer in a way, as my addiction to food has always been there but something I've not really opened up about...Sooo anyway. I am still perminatly hungry... there is so something wrong with me it doesn't make sense, so i am going to mention it to my consultant man when I see him tomorrow, I think I'll ask peeps on the lymphoma forum too... I dont get it, but I am sure it is related as it's been ever since i finished chemo.
Gah bleeding messed up body
But it is getting there i suppose it just takes time to get back to normal...Sooooo yeah, am depressed I weigh more than 14 stone
i never have before and i was a big child... so that's depressing. But it wont be like this for long. I am doing really good.I am worried about when I go home though... as in to Mum and Dads, am going there this Friday til Thursday, I never find it easy to eat well when I am away. On the plus side they always have a full fruit bowl, so i can snack on that.
You know I have always had a problem with fruit, where i want to eat more of it but never fancy it... well this weekend when we had no fruit in the house I really missed it! i was craving it! ha. I am chuffed with myself
So I shall get some more from the market at lunch time So yeah, am a bit mopey today :S Silly i know, but I think I'm tired too, and of course there are the Monday morning blues...
I've had Coco Pops and a coffee this morning. I have an egg salad sandwich and some Snack A Jacks for lunch
then tea is beans on toast. That's all good Right I actually have work to do at work, so i should get back to it... byeeeee
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abz
Gold Member
oh honey. try not to worry about it so much. i think a lot of it will be psychological. you haven't really been able to eat much for a long time, so now that you can you WANT IT ALL. i doubt you are physically hungry all the time, just psychologically hungry. i thought i was starving all the time when i was on cambridge. and then i started eating again and realised that it hadn't been physical hunger, but my brain trying to convince me that i was hungry because i wanted things, and i couldn't tell the difference at the time. is your tummy rumbling all the time?
mention it to your doc in any case, i'm sure they'll be able to help you. you are doing fabulously, and you know i think you look fabulous just as you are and will look stunning in this dress!! take a little pressure off yourself. you are doing amazingly well, you are still having a drink or two, you are eating lovely food. you have just stopped filling your body with crap. and the quicker you get on top of it the quicker it will drop off. you've only just got your scales so you don't know how well you've done so far. for all you know you're shedding lbs like crazy!!
are you drinking plenty of water?
abz xx
mention it to your doc in any case, i'm sure they'll be able to help you. you are doing fabulously, and you know i think you look fabulous just as you are and will look stunning in this dress!! take a little pressure off yourself. you are doing amazingly well, you are still having a drink or two, you are eating lovely food. you have just stopped filling your body with crap. and the quicker you get on top of it the quicker it will drop off. you've only just got your scales so you don't know how well you've done so far. for all you know you're shedding lbs like crazy!!
are you drinking plenty of water?
abz xx
Smiley Bon
Silver Member
Aw thanks you two I know I do stress about things unnecessarily :S I should chill and just enjoy the fact that I am getting back to normal and I am becoming more healthy than i have ever been and am loving it
Thanks for the advice. I have messaged Mum and asked when she does the food shop before we arrive if she can get me healthy things, so that should make it easier. I just have to will myself to resisit all the Kit kats and ginger bread and nice things they have! Dad is ace at making crumbles too! nooo, don't think about it! hehe.
My day is going ok, I feel a bit better now, have just been so mopey lately! i need to snap out of it! Am going for coffee with a friend after work though, so I can have a good rant to her she's lovely.
I had my sandwich and snack a jacks for lunch, and now am munching on some gum, so that's helping. I think i'll make a coffee at 3 and then its only 2 hours til i leave
I havent drunk much water today either am only on my second glass! bad. I need to get onto that.
Well I shall get back to work now i suppose, am actually busy today
Byeeeee
I know I do stress about things unnecessarily :S I should chill and just enjoy the fact that I am getting back to normal and I am becoming more healthy than i have ever been and am loving it Thanks for the advice. I have messaged Mum and asked when she does the food shop before we arrive if she can get me healthy things, so that should make it easier. I just have to will myself to resisit all the Kit kats and ginger bread and nice things they have! Dad is ace at making crumbles too! nooo, don't think about it! hehe.
My day is going ok, I feel a bit better now, have just been so mopey lately! i need to snap out of it! Am going for coffee with a friend after work though, so I can have a good rant to her
she's lovely.I had my sandwich and snack a jacks for lunch, and now am munching on some gum, so that's helping. I think i'll make a coffee at 3 and then its only 2 hours til i leave
I havent drunk much water today either
am only on my second glass! bad. I need to get onto that.Well I shall get back to work now i suppose, am actually busy today
Byeeeee
Smiley Bon
Silver Member
Have done thanks for that very helpful
thanks for that very helpful
Smiley Bon
Silver Member
Well morning morning
I am pigging knackered today I really could do with an early night tonight and not going to a rock concert like i have planned... ha.
Well I went out for coffee with a friend last night and i was really good and didnt have cake like usual! we just had beans on toast and lots of tea.
Today i have had corn flakes with a banana on top, and i definatly prefer corn flakes with sweetner on them! ha.
I could do with a coffee soon, that'll help. Not sure what i'll have for dinner... I am at the hospital this afternoon so i dont get a lunch break, but i can run out for a sandwich or something, will try and find something healthy which is usually hard even though i'm in the centre of town, mad...
Suppose I'll be getting lots of exercise dancing at this gig tonight though so that's a plus
I am pigging knackered today
I really could do with an early night tonight and not going to a rock concert like i have planned... ha.Well I went out for coffee with a friend last night and i was really good and didnt have cake like usual! we just had beans on toast and lots of tea.
Today i have had corn flakes with a banana on top, and i definatly prefer corn flakes with sweetner on them! ha.
I could do with a coffee soon, that'll help. Not sure what i'll have for dinner... I am at the hospital this afternoon so i dont get a lunch break, but i can run out for a sandwich or something, will try and find something healthy which is usually hard even though i'm in the centre of town, mad...
Suppose I'll be getting lots of exercise dancing at this gig tonight though
so that's a plus 
Smiley Bon
Silver Member
Gah I havent been on here for weeks now! oops! Well reading the last few posts was amusing :S since no the gig didn't go too well
I got some bad news from the hospital that afternoon, and therefore just drank and drank and drank... I had lots of wine to make me feel better, ended up so drunk that i didnt see the gig gah. Annnnd I fell and hurt my foot so I couldnt walk for a week, (am still hobbling) and i lost my glasses, so couldnt see.
So life's been pants lately i am pigging sick of disasters, I want to live a normal life
Well I have another scan next week and final results on the 31st to see if all this cancer rubbish is actually over. Am trying not to think about it or i will fall face down into a huge slab of chocolatey niceness
Annnd i havent been able to exercise at all as my foots still hurting, i cant even walk to work and we have no money spare so have just been using up the things in the cupboard to eat... so not been that great, but not too bad.
So i am feeling huge
Sooo now I am back at work, and feeling more smiley about things I am getting back to it. I had coco pops and a banana for breakfast, lasagne for dinner, and fruit not sure what we'll have for tea... perhaps a Pasta and Sauce, we have lots of them in as they are cheap and healthy and easy to make
Right I need to catch up with things on here, hee.
I got some bad news from the hospital that afternoon, and therefore just drank and drank and drank... I had lots of wine to make me feel better, ended up so drunk that i didnt see the gig
gah. Annnnd I fell and hurt my foot so I couldnt walk for a week, (am still hobbling) and i lost my glasses, so couldnt see.So life's been pants lately
i am pigging sick of disasters, I want to live a normal life Well I have another scan next week and final results on the 31st to see if all this cancer rubbish is actually over. Am trying not to think about it or i will fall face down into a huge slab of chocolatey niceness
Annnd i havent been able to exercise at all as my foots still hurting, i cant even walk to work
and we have no money spare so have just been using up the things in the cupboard to eat... so not been that great, but not too bad.So i am feeling huge
Sooo now I am back at work, and feeling more smiley about things I am getting back to it. I had coco pops and a banana for breakfast, lasagne for dinner, and fruit
not sure what we'll have for tea... perhaps a Pasta and Sauce, we have lots of them in as they are cheap and healthy and easy to make Right I need to catch up with things on here, hee.
Smiley Bon
Silver Member
Aw thanks guys I am getting around better, but it's still just so frustrating and i am worried about this scan and that :S gah. I neeeeeed a pigging holiday! I need to just get away and not think about anything nasty. That'd be good. I am fine when I am not thinking about things. But today I am a mopeing Bon gah.
Annnnd I ate a pizza last night I just couldn't resist, and the first 3 slices were the nicest ever and i was in heaven for a bit but then i ate it all as it was so nice, even though i was full so felt crap all night cos of that stupid me! I am just making myself feel more miserable! which is stupid!
I've had my cereal and fruit this morning though, so I must be good today! and over the weekend. I think Jamie's Dad is taking us out for food on Saturday though, but I am not too worried I will get the healthiest thing on the menu, I don't think I'll be tempted.
I wish i could walk to the market and manage to carry some fruit and veg home :S gah.
Annnyway, I've moaned long enough! I am going to get some work done since I am at work, ha.
I am getting around better, but it's still just so frustrating and i am worried about this scan and that :S gah. I neeeeeed a pigging holiday! I need to just get away and not think about anything nasty. That'd be good. I am fine when I am not thinking about things. But today I am a mopeing Bon gah.Annnnd I ate a pizza last night
I just couldn't resist, and the first 3 slices were the nicest ever and i was in heaven for a bit but then i ate it all as it was so nice, even though i was full so felt crap all night cos of that stupid me! I am just making myself feel more miserable! which is stupid!I've had my cereal and fruit this morning though, so I must be good today! and over the weekend. I think Jamie's Dad is taking us out for food on Saturday though, but I am not too worried I will get the healthiest thing on the menu, I don't think I'll be tempted.
I wish i could walk to the market and manage to carry some fruit and veg home :S gah.
Annnyway, I've moaned long enough! I am going to get some work done since I am at work, ha.
