I'll prove I can do it!!

[ChristyT]

have a lovely time, Im very jealous! Im going to the Harry Potter tour tomorrow...so excited! I'd of caved I love bread, i think about it all the time lol that and my Grandads spaghetti bolognese is my favourite!

Ha ha!!! The beach was so lush we are going back tomorrow - loving that the summer finally appears to have arrived. I've gone slightly off plan as had a salad at lunchtime as we packed a picnic and we're barbecuing fish and having it with salad tonight - its still healthy so I'm not too worried.

Very jealous about the Harry potter tour - that's going to be ace xxx

 

[ChristyT]

Bless me Forum for I have sinned, it's been 24 hours since my last confession.....

1. 2 x mini pork and pickle pork pies
2. 1 x packet of squares salt and vinegar crisps
3. 7 x strawberries
4. 3 x mini babybelle

Was another day spent on the beach with a picnic. Had a brilliant time splashing about paddling in the sea, came back brown as a berry and I had a brilliant day with my son and family. On the basis that we get rubbish weather most of the time and amazing days out like this with my family are rare I refuse to feel too guilty. Will be back on plan tomorrow and promise I will not be tempted by cheese, carbs or other delicious treats

nb - knowing my CDC is out of the country for another week is not assisting with my lack of focus lol :-/

 

[LeaE]

Bless me Forum for I have sinned, it's been 24 hours since my last confession.....

1. 2 x mini pork and pickle pork pies
2. 1 x packet of squares salt and vinegar crisps
3. 7 x strawberries
4. 3 x mini babybelle

Was another day spent on the beach with a picnic. Had a brilliant time splashing about paddling in the sea, came back brown as a berry and I had a brilliant day with my son and family. On the basis that we get rubbish weather most of the time and amazing days out like this with my family are rare I refuse to feel too guilty. Will be back on plan tomorrow and promise I will not be tempted by cheese, carbs or other delicious treats

nb - knowing my CDC is out of the country for another week is not assisting with my lack of focus lol :-/

Ha ha ha brilliant post !!!!! Loved it totally loved reading it x

 

[JoolsG]

You've got to have a life Christy - something I'm feeling I don't have at the moment. I keep telling myself that it's only for a set length of time, and I keep hoping it will get easier (it doesn't seem to be).

Don't be too hard on yourself - it's done, you had a great day, draw a line and move on

 

[ChristyT]

Ha ha ha brilliant post !!!!! Loved it totally loved reading it x

It was a terrible CD day but a fantastic family day x

 

[ChristyT]

You've got to have a life Christy - something I'm feeling I don't have at the moment. I keep telling myself that it's only for a set length of time, and I keep hoping it will get easier (it doesn't seem to be).

Don't be too hard on yourself - it's done, you had a great day, draw a line and move on

It was a lovely day, back to normality with a big fat bump - finishing off some decorating and got to get the house sorted - downside of going out on day trips is the house is now a tip. Still, it's going to keep me busy and take my mind off food lol x

 

[ChristyT]

Day 28:

Today has been quiet, catching up on housework and did some decorating.

Breakfast - choc mint shake
Lunch - oriental chilli soup
Snack - toffee walnut shake
Tea - turkey steak with some tender stem brocolli

Felt quite rough this afternoon, needed to lie down because I was feeling so sick and my head was killing. I've done a test and miraculously I'm back in ketosis this afternoon after yesterday's blip. It's really strange how I seem to be able to get there so quickly, there was no sign of ketosis this morning, maybe its why I was feeling so rough.

Unofficial WI tomorrow - 8 days until I see my CDC so need to see how I'm getting on. Not expecting great things after 3 slip ups this week but just hoping I've not put on :-/

 

[JoolsG]

Well done for getting right back on with it Christy. Let me know how you get on with your WI tomorrow - might not be as bad as you think, especially as you are already back in ketosis

 

[Carly1882]

hahaha love that post about the sins. You havent done anything bad ......you had a day off and have got right back on it! Nothing wrong with that. I personally think a day off now and then wont hurt in the long run. You cant live on shakes for the rest of your life! Glad you had a fun day with your family!


By the way........


I best confess too;
I had a slightly off plan weekend lol. I have weighed myself and think I have lost 2.5lbs but meant to be getting weighed tonight. Hopefully can get there and to the gym the car decided to not start this morning so had to walk down to the garage to take the keys in....fingers crossed its just the battery :-/ I hate cars especially as its only 4 years old and we are meant to be getting a new one in a few weeks.....bloody thing couldnt behave for a little while longer!

Saturday we went out for a lunch at cote bistro I had Swordfish and Ratatouille and half a creme caramel lol! We went to the Harry Potter Tour in the evening which was really good and stopped in the fish shop on the way home and I got fish and peas!
Yesterday I didnt get up until abot 2pm so just ended up having some crab and then bbq and salad for dinner. Not too bad just not a great week all round! But pleased to still have lost and not put on!

XX

 

[ChristyT]

Carly - Sounds like you had a lush weekend!!! Crab is one of my favourite things in the world

Well I bit the bullet and climbed onto those scales this morning...I lost another 3lbs last week so it's all heading in the right direction. Very pleased with that given I had a bit of slippage last week.

So far I've been 100% today; had a cappuccino shake for breakfast, spicy tomato soup for lunch and I'm having a toffee and walnut shake in an hour. Prob having prawns and some salad for tea xx

 

[Carly1882]

I know I LOVE seafood but crab is great and low fat too. Trouble is I only really like the fresh stuff!
Thats good hun well done are the toffee and walnut shakes nice I have never tried them they sound quite sickly.

Well done 3lbs is great you are doing so well hun keep it up xx

 

[ChristyT]

Me too, I could eat it all the time! I was born by the coast and my Dad's friend is a fisherman so we used to get spoilt with goodies. It's not the same buying from supermarkets and living in the Midlands I couldn't get further away from the sea.

Toffee and walnut shakes are ok, you can taste the walnut but they are very sweet - for some reason my CDC gave me loads last time!

Really hoping for a great week this week, for some crazy reason I've suddenly got my TOTM which is very unusual as I have the coil fitted. Fingers crossed for some good news at my official WI next Tuesday.... xx

 

[ChristyT]

Feeling very disheartened - I went to weigh myself at lunchtime and only lost a pound since Monday. I was really hoping for more because I've really behaved myself

Scales say I'm 18 stone 8 - cant see me getting into the 17s before my CDC gets back from her holiday and can't see me hitting my target of being under 17 stone by my best friend's wedding. Really disappointed as that was my first mini goal and it's looking more and more unlikely.....

 

[casablanca]

Feeling very disheartened - I went to weigh myself at lunchtime and only lost a pound since Monday. I was really hoping for more because I've really behaved myself

Scales say I'm 18 stone 8 - cant see me getting into the 17s before my CDC gets back from her holiday and can't see me hitting my target of being under 17 stone by my best friend's wedding. Really disappointed as that was my first mini goal and it's looking more and more unlikely.....

Christy

I've said it quite a few times on this forum - I really don't think sneaky weigh-ins before the week is out are a good idea. I did it at first and it really doesn't give you an accurate reflection and can end up demotivating you, which is what is happening to you right now.

I don't mean to lecture you, honest, but try and stay off the scales until your proper weigh-in. If you are sticking to the diet, you will lose.

Your losses so far are great and you should be proud of yourself.

x Chin up x

 

[ChristyT]

Christy

I've said it quite a few times on this forum - I really don't think sneaky weigh-ins before the week is out are a good idea. I did it at first and it really doesn't give you an accurate reflection and can end up demotivating you, which is what is happening to you right now.

I don't mean to lecture you, honest, but try and stay off the scales until your proper weigh-in. If you are sticking to the diet, you will lose.

Your losses so far are great and you should be proud of yourself.

x Chin up x

Thanks - don't worry I didn't take it as a lecture, I know you're talking sense. Sometimes it's hard not to get lured into expecting big losses week on week.

I have fallen into the habit of weighing myself as my CDC has been away for almost 3 weeks and it's been a killer not having my official weekly weigh in.

I just need to maintain focus and stick to the plan...thanks again!!!

God where would I b without this forum....

 

[JoolsG]

Feeling very disheartened - I went to weigh myself at lunchtime and only lost a pound since Monday. I was really hoping for more because I've really behaved myself

Scales say I'm 18 stone 8 - cant see me getting into the 17s before my CDC gets back from her holiday and can't see me hitting my target of being under 17 stone by my best friend's wedding. Really disappointed as that was my first mini goal and it's looking more and more unlikely.....

I can only echo Casablanca's great advice. I know this is pot calling the kettle black as i'm a sucker for daily weigh-ins. There are going to be weeks when you don't lose as much but as long as it's going in the right direction that's all that matters. Totally get it though as weighed myself this morning, on my mum's scales, and it looks like I've only lost 1lb this week, so only 2 last and only 1 this week and I did feel down, stupid because they aren't even my scales (although I did use them to weigh myself when I arrived so think they should have been pretty good indication...).

I do believe though that if you stick to it the weight will have to come off it's impossible for it not too. Keep going, you are doing brilliantly!

Oh but I did bump in to a family member today in town and the first thing she said was that I'd lost loads of weight!!! That felt great

 

[casablanca]

Christy - 3 weeks with the support of your CDC is a long time. That's where this forum comes in handy. We might not be experts but we can share experiences, highs and lows, and keep each other motivated

Jools - it's a great feeling when you bump into somebody and they comment on your weight loss - a big boost

x Have a lovely weekend x

 

[ChristyT]

I can only echo Casablanca's great advice. I know this is pot calling the kettle black as i'm a sucker for daily weigh-ins. There are going to be weeks when you don't lose as much but as long as it's going in the right direction that's all that matters. Totally get it though as weighed myself this morning, on my mum's scales, and it looks like I've only lost 1lb this week, so only 2 last and only 1 this week and I did feel down, stupid because they aren't even my scales (although I did use them to weigh myself when I arrived so think they should have been pretty good indication...).

I do believe though that if you stick to it the weight will have to come off it's impossible for it not too. Keep going, you are doing brilliantly!

Oh but I did bump in to a family member today in town and the first thing she said was that I'd lost loads of weight!!! That felt great

Yay!!!! That's awesome just shows its paying off Mrs...I'm mega proud...just think how you felt in that first week and how far you have come. Just brilliant

You are right; this diet is too extreme not to work. I've been 100% today so got my focus back xx

 

[ChristyT]

Christy - 3 weeks with the support of your CDC is a long time. That's where this forum comes in handy. We might not be experts but we can share experiences, highs and lows, and keep each other motivated

Jools - it's a great feeling when you bump into somebody and they comment on your weight loss - a big boost

x Have a lovely weekend x

3 weeks has been a killer...it's been so much harder than I thought it would be. Just hoping for a decent loss when Tracy gets back....

This forum has helped me do much, there's so much encouragement and positivity - its fab xx

 

[ChristyT]

Day 34:

Breakfast - toffee & walnut shake
Lunch - nothing, forgot!
Snack - nothing, at hairdressers
Tea - swordfish steak and green salad
Water consumption - hardly any, 2 cans of coke zero and green tea

Ok well today I have been in a reflective mood, but emotional and making some decisions about the near future.

Last night I read Lea's amazing diary from beginning to end and it left me realising that if I want to deal with my weight issues I need to face some inner demons....so here goes...the brutal truth:

I am 40 years of age, and I'm a single mum to a gorgeous 5 year old boy. I live with my dad who helps me loads with childcare and I couldnt have got through the last 5 years without his unwavering love and support. Sam's dad dropped me on my arse when I told him I was pregnant saying he didn't want kids, tried paying me off to have an abortion but it was all in vein, id been told I couldn't have children without IVF so my baby was my miracle...so there it is, I decided to go it alone.

I had a lovely childhood, idyllic really, dad was an RAF officer and we lived all over the UK and Germany. I always made friends easily. When I was 7 mum started making comments about my weight; I can remember her putting me on diets from then. Looking back at photos I was a normal girl, but mum insisted I was fat. When we came back to the UK from Germany i was sent to a normal school for the first time and i was bullied really badly. By 14 I was in a size 12. I can remember her saying at the time, "I wasn't even a size 12 when I was 9 moths pregnant!" - my mum was a size 6-8 and 5'4". I'm 5'7" and a different body shape. This is probably where my weight issues started.

At 19 my mum died, it was sudden, unexpected and devastating. I won't go into what happened because I need to protect those I love and it's not fair to discuss it openly on the 'net, but it devastated my family. Overnight my life went from being normal to being horrific. My dad slumped into clinical depression and my sister and I only had eachother. She went to university a year later and I was lonely....I started eating - a lot. I went from a size 12 to a size 22 in about 6 months.

2 years later I met my first fiancé - he was loving and idolised me - well I thought he did. 12 months later I ended our engagement when undiscovered he'd got an ex pregnant, I realised I had spent 12 months with a man who has controlled everything in my life, I'd lost my friends, wasn't allowed to wear makeup for fear he's think I was flirting with someone and I had shrunk back to a size 12...but I was anorexic...all I could control was what I ate.

2 weeks after I split with him I met the love of my life; we were together for 10 years, bought a house, got engaged and started trying for a family. I was so happy and madly in love - he was quiet, kind, gentle. 2 years later we were told I had blocked tubes and would need IVF to have a baby. 3 months later he ended our relationship stating he had fallen in love with a girl he worked with. I was destroyed. By this time I had ballooned up to 19 stone and felt totally worthless.

So I hit the gym, ate healthily and got my weight down to 13 stone and a size 14. I felt amazing. I quickly met my son's dad and we has a nice time. It wasn't love but he treated me well and I enjoyed spending time together. Falling pregnant was totally unplanned and unexpected but having my baby was never in doubt, I wanted him so much it hurt. My son's father has never met him or spoken to me since the night we split up. I am devastated he thinks so little of me he won't get to know our son.

I had a brief, physical fling with a man I met shortly after my son was born. He was a bully and violent. So I walked away after 6 months deciding I just attract crap men and I could t deal with it anymore. Yet again I comfort ate and ballooned up to 21 stone.

Just before Xmas I met my last bf - I was the biggest I've ever been but he didn't care. We had a great 7 months together but he ended it just after my b'day. This time I don't feel crap about myself, I feel that things ran its course and it was right to leave things as they are.

So that's why I've started losing weight; I am massive, this weight has to go. I have a little man who loves me unconditionally and I owe it to him to live to see him grow up - I don't want to die at 45 like my mum did. I feel fat, ugly and have little self esteem. I want to lose weight but for myself - I need to get my pride back.

So I've decided I'm taking a break from men altogether. I'm having 12 months to concentrate on CD and raising my son. I need to work out who I really am and start valuing who I am and believing in myself. Anybody who knows me would say I'm confident and happy but it really is a case of it being a massive front. I don't feel like that inside. I'm sick and tired of being the 'fat bubbly girl'. I may be laughing outside but I'm so miserable inside.

So that is me laid bare, these are my demons. It's scary putting it down in print but it's how I feel and who I really am.

As the saying goes "to change your future you have to change your decisions today".

C x