iveabigask's Diary

Hey chick,

Strange ...I've just finished my 8th week and feeling exactly the same ...I'm coming out the other end but lordy lordy felt really down and wasnt sure why....we've been doing a module which I have found really tuff esp when as part of the module we had to write a list of instruction / letter to someone who would be looking after me for a week.....talk about peeling away the layers you dont want too.

You will get passed this hun, esp with all the support of these amazing women on here.

xxxx
 
Failing dreadfully. Just stuffed my face with tgi fridays.
 
you doing this in anticipation of upcoming holidays? Sabotage now and feel like crap? Because u know the outcome but don't know the outcome of how you would be on holidays?
Nervous and still feeling low?
Fed up with cloths situation not fitting right (too big and too small).

Found that as the weeks go on, our bodies change drastically. the weight shifts itself all over the place (or it feels that way).
Also found that my mind and my eyes have difficulty accepting this weight loss and computing it. Waited so long to be under the 200lb mark and I wanted to (in a sense) celebrate yet destruct this accomplishment (I didn't feel worthy)

Hun, you are worthy of this and so much more. Perhaps you don't hear it enough from those around you? I don't know...just taking a guess. Get your mind in a good place and tell yourself you ARE worthy and important.
We all care and understand....honest.

xx
 
IBA its ok.... dont panic.... i had my first lapse last week in week 18... i felt awful but was back on track the next day. Yes it knocked me out of ketosis but i did some exercise for 3 days and luckily 4 days later i was in ketosis again i also lost 3lbs in WI..... u can get back on it ok! its just a small blip chill xxx
 
How you doin this morning?
Yesterday is the past, today is the future. Lapses happen - time to forgive yourself and start again. One day at a time. Heck, one hour at a time.
Look how far you have come.

xx
 
You can do this put it into perspective, what's the priority losing weight and taking control of your health and life back or a few minutes of pleasure in your mouth ( omg that sounds rude lol ) yesterday has gone onwards and downwards hunny xx

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Well said Lady T.

Pleasure in the mouth bit kinda threw me into .....HYSTERICAL laughter.

We are all here for ya woman
xx
 
weebles said:
Well said Lady T.

Pleasure in the mouth bit kinda threw me into .....HYSTERICAL laughter.

We are all here for ya woman
xx

Aw weebs I just think I need some man living lmao!!! it's been a while, actually it's been like forever! Xx

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Thanks so much girls. Kinda punishing myself today and feeling pretty down. Like I cant have what I want so that makes me feel rubbish, if I have what I want I feel rubbish anyways!!!
Friends are coming to stay with us tonight and were all going out. I want to have a drink but I dont know why cos I've no interest in alcohol whatsoever. Its so strange. I don't miss drink at all, and really don't want any but know when im out I'll want some even though I don't like it!!!!!
Anyway so I'm back on track today. Just had my first shake of the day and will have shepherds pie later, no bars till Tuesday when I'll get back in ketosis. At least I'm going back on it, rather than losing the run of myself!!!!!! Hopefully I won't have done too much damage.
Thanks again for all your replies and kind words. You're the best!!!!!!
Ask xxxxx
 
Well done for getting straight back on the program xx
 
Please don't punish yourself - it happened and life will go on. Brush yourself off (as you are doing now) and start the day fresh. Falling off the wagon is how we must learn on this journey ...for some strange reason.
I feel myself wanting to fall right now. Only because I am afraid to deal with an issue. Great way to tuck away this issue by doing a control thing and having a fallout. (the predicted outcome thing).

Talking it over with O/H right now and no matter what way I go - I want it to be the adult decision. Should be interesting.

Best of luck to you tonight with friends over and having a drink or not - the choice is yours.

xxx
 
Starting to come around now. Have my skinny jeans on and a tight vest top. So feeling slim and that will spurr me on! So what over yesterday, it was only a blip. I wanted to eat and I wanted to go to the cinema and have Goddies! I'm always so disciplined and restrained . Its the irrational thoughts of omg if you eat you'll put on 15 stone!!!! And crooked thoughts of, come on fatty could you not restrain yourself for one day???? Defo feeling much better. Plus my pals tonight and very supportive and my OH but sure that goes without saying. Thanks again ladies. You make such a difference to how in feeling! I think dolly knew I was sad too she was giving me loads of love lol

Ask xxxx
 
Glad your head is coming around and you are back. Our pets do know when we aren't right or feeling blue...they are so comforting aren't they? Even my feline Cujo attack cat seems to spare me her wrath during my down times.

Skinny jeans and a tight vest top? WOW, sounds good! Happy it makes you feel unstopable.
You are gonna excel my dear - remember that.

xx
 
so its Sunday evening, and after my massive blow out on Friday I got stright back on track.
As usual i persecuting myself, and jumping on the scales when I should just leave it alone. Like i can feel the loss in my clothes so i dont know what else im looking for grrrrrrr.
So I was out last night, didnt drink a drop and was delighted with my sparkling water. This morning I resisted a big fry up, and this evening im resisting a chinese take away!!! Ive banished myself to the bedroom so i wont even get a sniff of it lol
its only a week and a half till my holiday, kinda starting to feel better about the food thing but Friday has shown me that given an inch and ill take a mile lol I chose i ignore the rational piece of my mind that was telling me just to go home and have my pack. I justified the whole thing to myself lol

So im feeling ok, not amazing but ok. I dont think ill feel as pressureized once i get back into the 12 stone mark. Im just that little bit too heavy for some of my cothes and reckon a half a stone will make a massive difference. Hubbie is being very supportive as usual, I really would be lost without him..

Ps. alll im thinking about right now is the chinese downstairs lol

hope you all had a lovely weekend
ask xxxxx
 
Lapsing is an interesting thing. How come you crumbled? I think I agree with Weebs, pre holiday sabotage. Great news that you were straight back on track. After all it's not how many times we fall, its how many times we pick ourselves up and carry on that matters. As for punnishing yourself and feeling crap, I just bet you wouldn't say what you are saying to yourself to anyone else would you ? You would have more sympathy, and be saying how sorry you were to hear that they had lapsed and offering support as to how they would get back on track. We are far more awful to ourselves than others that is for sure.

So anyway loving the skinny jeans and t shirt look. How cool is that and resisting the chinese. Good on you for not turning a lapse in to a weekend long disaster. Proud of you xx
 
Well, I had a really terrible day in work and generally felt miserable. I was really hungry and craving chicken wings so then convinced myself to have them lol I don't feel so bad now, I haven't done that much damage. Only one more week till my holidays. I can't flipping wait!!' I'm really going to try my best to stick to it on the holiday. In a way I'm glad I broke it on Friday, I won't feel like I'm missing anything on holidays.
Xxxx
 
Good for you sunshine xx
 
Yep yep back on track and feelin good!!
Very cold, but feeling good lol
 
Doing good over there!!! Resisting a fry up and a chinese too? WELL DONE YOU!

Not long now and you will be on your holidays (so jealous). The week will fly by - you watch.

xx
 
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