Jenni's diary: Given up chocolate!

[jennikay]

LOL that's because I haven't been on in days

Ended up getting home at 4am on Sunday morning, woohoo and I wasn't sick

I was 9st 6.5 Monday morning, so a 1.5lb gain - not too bad, I don't think.

Having some slight issues with getting back on the wagon mostly because it's TOTM and I'm having constant choc cravings!

xx

 

[CCPM]

You'll get there Jenni just have a good time

M

 

[Less Rotund One]

Do you still go to meetings Jenni - or just weigh in on your own now?

Just curious really.

Not a bad gain overall really considering it was your 18th birthday week.

 

[jennikay]

I weigh in myself. Considering going back to meetings, because I'm 9st 7 at the moment and judging by the amount I ate today, I'm not going to have lost anything tomorrow!
Having said that, there's a fair bit going on in my head at the moment and don't know if I could diet if I tried.

Had a panic attack earlier which was really scary because I've never had one before and now me being the anxious person that I am, I'm worrying that I'm going to keep having them or whatever.

Got my final exam tomorrow, Stats 2 which is easy enough.
Had my Further Pure 4 exam on Tuesday which went terribly

Also have my first counselling session tomorrow which is probably more nerve-wracking than the exam

xx

 

[jennikay]

Yay, counselling went well also, the guy who does it, can do CBT, which will help my OCD while I'm waiting for CBT on the NHS (which can take over a year )

Also managed to tell my mum I have OCD, and she was like, 'yeah that figures' and wasn't bothered at all. She said it was a shame that I wasn't a tidy person

Dieting seems possible, so I'm starting again again again tomorrow, feeling positive about being able to do it

xx

 

[jennikay]

Day 1 of restart.

No idea what to have today. Can't decide between Points and Core yet, lol.
Going to try and get in my 5 a day because I don't think I've ever had it!

Getting Davina's DVD this morning, which I'll probably try out before school.

I really want to not only lose weight, but tone up a bit - as I said to Jon the other day, 'you can't deny I'm quite wobbly!' LOL.

xx

 

[CCPM]

Good news with the counselling Jenni, hope it all goes well. As you probably can guess I'm no use to you re the excercise (instant heart attack for me if I start!!) but Rosie and Rach will be supporting that one

M

 

[jennikay]

LOL that's exactly what I'm normally like M, but I really want to try and get into exercising, because (so I'm told) it gives you all happy endorphins.

I'm guessing the endorphins are only detectable if you don't want to crawl in a hole and die after exercising

xx

 

[Baronessvongogo]

I am so glad your feeling positive and its great that your counselling is going well.

 

[Loulabella]

OCD is ace - I had a treatment course for anxiety and it worked wonders.... Good luck.... x

 

[Donna39]

Thought i would pop in and wish you well, you seem more positive. As for the exercise, i m not convinced on these happy endorphins, Ive never found them - LOL!!!!

I hope you manage to find them - may be i just never tried hard enough!!!!

 

[Less Rotund One]

They do exist - honest. But only detectable when the heavy breathing and profuse sweating have died down.

Hope the exam went well - and glad the counselling was good. Its really important that you connect with your counsellor and it sounds like you have so you'll be making great strides soon.

How does your OCD show up then? I am not well up on this and thought that it was all tidying and checking/re-checking stuff. It must be pretty limiting though at times.

 

[jennikay]

Mine's not really bad, I'm obsessed with symmetry and order (so, my pencils have to face the same way in my pencil case.)

My biggest one is symmetry with my feet - if I go up a step with my right foot, I have to go up a step with my left foot. If I step in a puddle, step on a twig, step on a shadow etc with my right foot, the same has to be done with my left.

No wonder it takes me forever to walk places

I don't have the obsession side of it hugely - if I'm going through a bad patch I tend to be convinced that Jon doesn't love me, is cheating on me, etc. I also get worried sick that harm has come to him if he's a few mins late for anything.

xx

 

[jennikay]

Well this is something I never thought I'd see - me, tucking into a bowl of salad

I really have my diet head on today, let's hope it lasts would really like to get back to 9 stone. Don't think it'll happen by Valentine's day, but maybe by the end of Feb

xx

 

[Less Rotund One]

Excellent work, fella - salad is so good on so many levels - not just for your diet but all those nutrients too - much better than cakes and chocolate

 

[jennikay]

Excellent work, fella - salad is so good on so many levels - not just for your diet but all those nutrients too - much better than cakes and chocolate

Not quite as tasty though

I reckon I've actually had my 5 a day today - had some grapes earlier too - which I don't think I've ever done! So pretty impressed with myself
Haven't had a chance to get the DVD so will probably do that tomorrow or something.

xx

 

[Karenlou]

Hi Jenni - good to see you're eating some fruit and veg!

I used to have the right/left ocd thing when I was a kid; apparently it's quite a common form. My son used to divide all the letters in written sentences by five, which is interesting because I do the same with music beats. My oh always knows when I'm doing it because I twitch my fingers!

 

[nannis]

Hi
I struggle with 5 a day, usually have 2 at the most..

 

[jennikay]

Bleh. Feeling sick after a big chocolate binge.
Will start again again again tomorrow

I was all good today until work, I had a hot dog and it all went downhill from there

xx

 

[jennikay]

Urgh, I'm not even going to say what I saw on the scales today!

Back to the diet, I AM going to get back into it eventually

xx