Karens EE Diary

awh Karen hopefully things will be ok at weigh in tonight ((hugs)) nothing worse than feeling all bloated though maybe things will have 'worked through' before you go to class x
 
Hi Karen

:happy036::happy036: on the shrinking size !!! -the bit about the postcode made me chuckle :p
Pinkies crossed for weigh in later ....
Try and remember how icky and bloated you feel right now -and then next time they try and press gang you into having another takeaway..just try and remember the feeling and it might help you resist ;)
Thats how I find myself able to resist them (well so far :p) -The bloating is probably down to the MSG that they put in a lot of chinese food, I find it makes me really thirsty for a couple of days after...
Anyway -hope you get good news at weigh in -1 takeaway shouldn't have done any harm :cross:
Have a great evening Mrs..
 
thanks Jane and capricorn... I snuck a looky at my scales and they showed a gain. tis frustrating as I know it is only cos I had the food lastnight as oppose to a few days go. Ho hum, i'll take it on the chin :) I didnt take much persuading to be honest lol .
 
thanks sonya xxx you're right... a bitty 1lb gain is ok. I am pleased actually because I ate a little something before we went (i dont usually) and I wore jeans instead of leggings so I reckon that 1lb is mostly due to that. Now it means I can start wearing jeans every week as the winter months approach and I can nibble something before we leave so that my blood sugars are a bit more even (gotta look after the diabetes!) from now on.

As with the last gain, im not changing my ticker and no one can make me mwahahaha. I am going to be a positive girlie and not going to do anything to demotivate myself! This morning I've dyed my barnet so my roots feel more glam lol. Ive had a nice bath with girlie pamper bubbles and used all my yummy expensive creams... I need loving care, not self punishment and guilt for gaining. What will I do to remedy this situation? I am going to exercise this week for at least 30 sweaty minutes a day and Im going to follow the plan to the flipping letter! I have faffed alllll August and its not on! Ive lost 3lb in this entire month lol. Well... I lost 8.5lb (same as last month) but also gained 5.5lbs so it evens out to a total 3lb loss. Had i just sts-ed those 2 gains I would have had a nice 8 and 1/2 gone... so why have I faffed?? NO MORE! Ive had my holidays and had a great time off with the kids but now its back to school/uni/work and no more being silly! September will be different!

Im going to follow EE this week as Im due on in a couple of days. I will throw in a couple of success express days if I can. I wont force it if my period dictates that I eat the contents of Devon though. I will just have stodgy EE meals if I start wanting to comfort my cycle. It'll be fine and it will be syn-free and good. I have to be kind to myself and that means going with the ebb and flow too.

So, todays menu...


DAY 1 (of week 14)

BREKKY
WW Yogurt
Grapes
Apple


LUNCH

Ham Salad Sarnie (HEX B)
12g Salad Cream (2 syns)
Pineapple Chunks

DINNER

Lean diced chicken
Stirfry Superfoods
Asda Spicey stirfry sauce (3.5 syns)
Sweetcorn


SNACKS

250ml ‘The One’ milk (HEX A)
10 McDonalds Fries.... (3 syns)


Total Daily Syns: 8.5


Weekly Syns left: (started with up to 105) 96.5
 
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Yesterday was manic! The cool bit was Sonkie popping round for lunch and to come with me to pick up our eldests new uniform from their school. Wemade my son try his blazer on infront of everyone and he looked like he wanted to murder us hehe. After that I took my little darlings into town for some major school uniform supplies.... we spent over an hour and a half in one shop just getting school shoes! I was ready for a breakdown by the end of it... So, we went from there to McDonalds and took the evil food to my mothers. I stole 3 chips from each child and synned then as almost 1/2 a small portion so that is an almost angelic act, me thinks. Not eating them woulda been even better but I am a novice in such fabulousness :) I did resist the apple pie and custard (apples from my own tree but baked by mum :) ) and I coulda eaten kids leftovers but i didnt... I stayed virtuous (ish)

From visiting my mothers we came home, I bathed each kid... applied haircuts & trims where needed, cooked dinner for me and hubby and collapsed into bed at 10pm... then the doorbell rang lol. my mother decided on a latenight visit but only stayed for 10 minutes. She was only passing thru from visiting my sister and just wanted to make sure the kids were ok for their 1st day back, bless her. I didnt feel as tired when she left so i read a few diaries on here and went back to bed.

Getting my 2 youngests up for school this morning was awful. They got up fine but I felt like hell lol. After dropping them off I popped up to Uni to hand in my parking permit application form and MY GOD! they've ripped most of the building down! It is looking rather fab and I am honoured they have considered my attendance worth refurbishing for :). The new gym and pool would have been enough but I guess Im more special than I thought. OK... so turning up there was a bit of a shocker in truth as it kinda hit me that my life will change so much doing this degree... and I kinda cacked meself.. :eek: its all real and happening... yikes! exciting whilst petrifying...

So, Im now home to grab my lunch, grab my eldest and pop him to my parents while I go to work. Of course, I have to wake him up first :eek: Boy is he in for a shock on Monday....

So get this... my hubby is going off on a 'rail ale trail' trip on saturday with some blokes from work! alright for some! they pay a tenner for the rail ticket and then go from stop to stop trying different local ales made for different pubs... it just sounds like a pumped up pub crawl to me but he is trying to put a olde worlde grown up twist on it! Shameful! lol. I think that mean I should invite sonya over for a synned drink and a SW meal and redress the balance :D Ive remembered Ramadan today so will take my lunch in to eat before the session and will try to make sure no one sees its a ham sarnie :eek:

Todays menu... which will no doubt change a few times before im done eating :D ....


DAY 2 (of week 14)

BREKKY

WW Yogurt
Pineapple chunks


LUNCH

Ham Salad Sarnie (HEX B)
12g Salad Cream (2 syns)
Grapes

DINNER

Icelands BBQ chicken chunks (1.5 syns)
Ainsley Couscous (0.5 syns)
Petit Pois


SNACKS

250ml ‘The One’ milk (HEX A)
Seabrook Crisps 8 syns


Total Daily Syns: 12


Weekly Syns left: (started with up to 105) 86.5
 
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Kids had a good time on their 1st day back to school yesterday. I didnt pick them up as I was at work so I didnt get to meet their brand new teachers (both kids have newly employed teachers) but Aiden isnt being very nice about his. I found it striking that he called him fat and lazy! Aiden is 6!! He said he just sat doing nothing a lot of the time and he thinks he did that because he is too fat to do anything. I was flumoxed. I hope to god he doesnt say anything offensive to him. Aiden isnt usually rude in general but he is about weight. I wonder if its something to do with me and have been mortified to find him and his little friends taking the mickey out of me before. not sure what to do... im not exactly the type of person to take crap from kids but I dont seem to be very effective at getting him to be more understanding or decent about it. I heard him talking about Mr Happy the other day and he said 'his belly is even bigger and rounder than mums!' :eek: it just seems that when i think i have had a good chat about it with him... and think i am getting through, he says something else a few days later. I just hope he doesnt do it about his teacher as he could land in trouble for just saying what he thinks... or maybe he needs it to learn a lesson? Dreading getting pulled aside... and im sure i will!

anyways.. aside from that, all is well. Work was good and I got chatting to someone there that may be doing a couple of modules with me (they are doing a masters in the same subject that I am doing a BA in).

happy with the diet. Im being good at not weighing and hope i get a pleasant surprise on Tuesday night.

Might see if my folks fancy watching the kids tonight and go to flicks with hubby. We'll see :D



DAY 3 (of week 14)


BREKKY

Banana
Grapes


LUNCH

Jacket spud
Spag hoops
bbq chicken (1.5 syns)

DINNER

57g Wholemeal Roll (HEX B)
Ham
Chicken (1 syn)
Salad
Mayo (4.5 syns)
Salad Cream (2 syns)


SNACKS

250ml ‘The One’ milk (HEX A)
2 x Quavers (9 syns)



Total Daily Syns: 18


Weekly Syns left: (started with up to 105) 68.5
 
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Not even 5am and Im up! That'll teach me for going to bed before 9pm on a Friday night...

Nowt to do except sit in bed with laptop and quietly click through Minis until tired enough to fall back to sleep.

It was really disheartening to finally meet this 'fat and lazy' teacher yesterday (gutted for myself...not the teacher lol). Im 3 times his size so it was a bit of a jolt to think how my little one must see me... My dad even said how big this teacher was... so gawd knows how he views me too! (Dad is tiny.... 8 stones wet through- i got mothers genes :( ) I had ideas of him being huge but hes quite small all over except for a bit of a pot belly and the beginnings of a 2nd chin. I dunno... ya work hard and feel good about dropping weight and something happens to make you feel you have barely made a dent. I feel like a big fat whale at the moment. I know Im judged all the time by strangers and even people I know but its a smack in the mouth to hear them so rude about someone you consider to be so much smaller than yourself. Ive spent years avoiding seeing how big i am... i made hubby take our only full length mirror to the tip and I have tended to not allow pics to be taken so that I dont have to look at myself! so... these little realisations can be a bit of a kick in the head.

Still... there seems to be naff all i can do about it but carry on as I am! The alternatives are to go back into denial, give up or carry on 1lb at a time. Giving up will only make things worse. Getting down and filling up on crisps and chocolate won't improve the situation. So I will just have to trudge on and hope I feel a bit better about it soon. I know in my heart that I have to carry on no matter what or my children will be motherless before long. I saw a massive cadbury caramel bar (one of my favs) reduced to £1 in the shop and for a second I forgot myself and thought about buying it to eat! Then felt instantly mortified... it is cheap crap that has gotten me into this mess to start with. Just because something is cheap doesnt mean I have to become a human bin! For heaven sakes.... Im a mother and wife and I have to value myself... buying awful ***** to kill myself isn't valuing myself, my children, my husband or my future. I just have to keep remembering why am doing this and not get caught off guard. I am sick of being avoided by strangers and even people I know because of my weight. Im sick of people looking down at me because of my size. Its all made worse when I look at the stark question of whether or not i can expect them to respect me whatever my size when it is clear to see from how I have abused my body that not even I have respected myself? Dont get me wrong, people get big for all kinds of reasons and I am not saying anyone does not deserve respect... I just know that this is something I have done to myself because I havent cared about myself and havent felt worthy of anything else... so should I expect other people to see me as worthy when i havent?

Im due on as well... it doesnt flipping help! Prehaps I ought to go back to sleep!



DAY 4 (of week 14)


BREKKY

Lean Bacon
Boiled egg
mushrooms and Tomato


DINNER

bbq chicken (2.5 syns)
large Salad with squeezed lemon
wholemeal pitta (HEX B)




Total Daily Syns: 2.5


Weekly Syns left: (started with up to 105) 66
 
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Awww Karen, don't be so hard on yourself sweetie. :grouphugg:Have a hug to cheer you up! I hope it was just the lack of sleep that was making you a bit maudlin! I know I'd feel bleugh if I was awake at that time in the morning!

Just remember you've lost 24lbs - that's fantastic! We started at roughly the same time and have lost roughly the same amount, and while I would like to have lost more by now, I haven't, so I just have to accept that I'm on the scenic route and try to celebrate what I have achieved instead of focusing on what I haven't!

x
 
Afternoon Karen -although with how long you have been awake honey I should be saying "night night" :p

Sorry you are feeling low .... Just like Spanx said -remember how much you have lost (and think how much you might have gained if you weren't doing SW!!) -so you are doing what is best for you and your family...
How about giving yourself a pat on the back ;) ..you work, study, look after your kids, hubby, home, support people on here and STILL lose weight :happy096: .... You have a long list of "taking care of" and there at the bottom of that list it little ole you ....you are right you need to put yourself higher up the list and find a little "me time" every day even if its just 15 mins chilling out or slapping on some nice smelly creams...
As for the folks who judge you then just keep thinking "up yours" whilst walking by with your head held high...
They are obviously so insecure in their lives and possibly jealous of you and what you have that they have to make themselves feel better by trying to make you feel worse..
Right -so before I get off my soap box :p -
Don't forget you are a beautiful, vibrant, clever, kind, hard working woman -and don't let anyone or anything make you feel different :nono:
Right -Im off now I have got that out of my system :p
 
I agree with everything spanx and capricorn have said.You have done very well indeed a fantastic loss.you help and encourage others on their journeys!!.
A big :grouphugg:from me. xx
 
you wonderful, gorgeous, lovely princesses! thank you for the support... what a mardy mare i have been today. i think events have just built up and made me question how i let myself get like this and i havent much liked the answers! still, its all part of the journey and healing so i guess it is to be embraced and appreciated as such. i usually try to remain bubbly and see the positive but i just couldnt keep it together today! still! it has certainly been worth it to be reminded that i have all of the support and care i could possibly need right here on minis. it has really touched me that you have all said such lovely things.. totally unexpected and very much appreciated ladies, thank you - it means a lot xxx

so, im over myself now and just accept that ive had a crappy day that i need to move on from lol. hubby has been off on his ale trail thing allll day so its been nice just relaxing with the kids. they really are a tonic and we have had a nice time. mr t is going to come home absolutely wasted i reckon :rolleyes:

still, i stayed on track and have learned a few things today. knowledge is power and all that malarky :)


thanks again princesses
xxxxxxxx
 
hello minimins.

ive had a pretty decent sleep as hubby stayed at his friends. i hope he isnt too wrecked - i was hoping for a day out with the kids. i dont mind going without him but the kids might be mad at him for that lol. the weather isnt looking amazing at the moment so will check the met site.

feel loads better than yesterday. i am doing well on the plan and i need to keep in mind that my weight doesnt define me... and i am doing something about it. it just seems slow at times and i had a wobbly day lol. i reckon only losing 3lb last month had a bit to do with it as i was averaging 10lb per month until then. nevermind, its over with and i am fine. my life is great.. i am lucky to have good kids, a lovely hubby and all the others i have around me. I had a friend pop around for a couple of hours yesterday so that was nice.

anyways, off to do the washing up and check the weather!


DAY 5 (of week 14)


BREKKY

2 Linda McCartney Sausages (4 syns)
2 Boiled eggs
beans
1/3 onions, mushrooms and Tomato


DINNER

pork chop
gravy (3 syns)
mashed tatties
sweetcorn
1/3 of onions, tomato, mushroom and greenbeans


SNACKS

250ml semi skimmed milk (HEX A)
Fibre Plus bar
pineapple
grapes
highlight hot choc (2 syns)
Wotsits (5 syns)
1/2 kitkat (5.5 syns)


Total Daily Syns: 19.5


Weekly Syns left: (started with up to 105) 46.5
 
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Hi Karen

just read your post from yesterday. Wow, I admire you - I wish I could 'face myself head on' as you have.

Maybe if I did I'd be able to get my fat a**e in to gear and get the weight off!
 
thank you sue- i think it'll happen whether we like it or not hun lol. hope you enjoyed your hols xxxx

just got back from cinema... I forgot my fibre plus bar so ate a packet of wotsits and half a kitkat instead! it was a whole kitkat but i had the restraint to hand half of it over to my daughter (just about!). Anyways... hubby took boys in to see The Last airbender and me and kirsten went in to see 'Dinner for Schmucks'. It was so funny! really enjoyed it :) Just what I needed and only slightly kicked me over my syns... but not I have plenty of weekly ones left so tis all fine. i wanted popcorn but had no means of weighing/synning it properly.... so i was kinda good by eating the other stuff instead! god bless SW!
 
good morning minis!

well! today is my first childless day in over 7 weeks :eek: By jove its quiet around here :D so I have come home from the school run, put on recorded biggest loser, kettle is boiling and I am going to have breakfast whilst watching Bob (YUM!) then crack on with some loooooong overdue paperwork. I have some stuff to do for uni and forms for the adoption THEN i get to do my housework. yay!

Busy week this week...Im having my hair cut tomorrow, buying bathroom tiles and seeing my parents (they live next to the hairdressers and tile shop lol) then Wednesday i am seeing the social worker for my one-on-one interview and going for late lunch with a friend for her birthday. Then I work on thurs and friday. that lot should keep me out of trouble until the weekend. so basically, today is my only day home to plan menus and clean up properly.


Just dropped the kids to school and noticed on the way out how easy i had found the walk! its slightly up hill and i always feel a bit of burn on my legs and feel slightly out of breath but it was fine today. That just gave me a huge boost :D things are going well and im really happy with it all. Me and Sonkie weigh-in tomorrow night and I am dying to find out the numbers. Ive had a couple of days over my 15 syns BUT i have absolutely kept under my weekly syn allowance so I feel I have had a good week (plan-wise). Im due on this week so thats the only thing that could scupper me but thats ok, I know the weight is going as my belly isnt the first thing i see when i look down now. my boobs are bigger or my belly is smaller :p sooooo happy about that. however i look, my health is improving so that is fantastic! its my main reason for doing this... to rid myself of diabetes and be a healthy mum/wife/woman. :D


DAY 6 (of week 14)


BREKKY

Yogurt
grapes


LUNCH

77g Wholemeal Bread (HEX B + 1 Syn)
Ham
Salad
Salad Cream (2 syns)


DINNER

Homemade Chilli Con Carne (extra lean mince, tinned toms, onion, kidney beans, peppers and spices)
2 small JPs



SNACKS


highlight hot choc (2 syns)
250ml ss milk (HEX A)




Total Daily Syns: 5


Weekly Syns left: (started with up to 105) 41.5
 
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Awwwww mate why didnt you come round here.......iv hated not having my laptop, but now have my brand spanking new one so "im back ".
You know I have the same with Callum ......he will always say omg look how fat he/she is.....and I would just stare at him, he would then ask what was wrong so would tell him that "fat " person was half the size of me and that with his comment it was a kick in the gut for me...he would always reply but you are not that fat......
They obviously have no idea how these comments hurt especially when the person is so much smaller than myself.....:(

Come on missus we can do this......for ourselves and for our families.

Im gonna miss seeing you this week :(
 
glad you got nice new laptop. I'll see you tonight for WI and I'll make a point of popping over 1 evening xxx

out most of the day and getting my hair cut. sorely needed!


WI Day (of week 14)


BREKKY

None


LUNCH

BBQ chicken (1.5 syns)
Couscous (0.5 syns)
Salad


DINNER

Same as lunch! (1.5 syns)
Mango


SNACKS

250ml ss milk (HEX A)
Fibre Plus Bar (HEX B)
Curly Wurly (6 syns)



Total Daily Syns: 9.5


Weekly Syns left: (started with up to 105) 32
 
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