kebab - cd'er
- Thread starter kebab
- Start date
Went to bed feeling low, and binged again!!!
(Look away if squeamish) Purged again about 2.20 am.
I still count that as yesterday, today doesn't start until I've woken up and had several large coffees!!
Good morning all!
I've put yesterday behind me and am now enjoying a lovely cup of boaters choc cherry coffee (i cal per cup - doesn't affect ss - if I get going on it today!!!) Planning to read the Sunday papers and generally slob for most of the day. Might go swimming later. Definately plan not to eat today!!!!
Hope you all ahve a good day!!!
(Look away if squeamish) Purged again about 2.20 am.
I still count that as yesterday, today doesn't start until I've woken up and had several large coffees!!
Good morning all! I've put yesterday behind me and am now enjoying a lovely cup of boaters choc cherry coffee (i cal per cup - doesn't affect ss - if I get going on it today!!!) Planning to read the Sunday papers and generally slob for most of the day. Might go swimming later. Definately plan not to eat today!!!!
Hope you all ahve a good day!!!
Barb
Gold Member
Oh Donna, you have had a tough few days. Never mind, its nearly a new week, a perfect time for a fresh start. I worry about your purging though, that must be really horrible for you, you must feel knackered. I am not a binger/purger so I can't really understand, but I do sympathise as I know how easy it is for one little slip to turn into a landslide. I think you should try to put a really positve picture in your mind of how gorgeous you are going to look at Christmas. Imagine a fitted dress, nice shoes, the accessories etc.. that is gonna be you, think how fab you are going to feel and look. Each day is a day toward that picture; You can do this Honey, I am with you every step of the way. Love and Hugs
Cheb
Gold Member
Hi Kebab
Sorry your having a tough time, today is a new day; pick yourself up and try again.
I totally understand the cycle you're in; but of course have no answers for you. CD has helped get my weight down but has definitely made my binging worse; it's like I've found another way to binge and have everything I desire without getting fatter cos I can SS for a few days to shift the lbs. It is really only the last year or so that I've even acknowledged that I have a problem, previously would just have described myself as someone who enjoys food, in fact I'm somebody who has no control around it.
Well done on facing up to things and seeking help and on writing it all down here, reckon admitting it, is a big step in the right direction.
Hope today is a good one for you.
Sorry your having a tough time, today is a new day; pick yourself up and try again.
I totally understand the cycle you're in; but of course have no answers for you. CD has helped get my weight down but has definitely made my binging worse; it's like I've found another way to binge and have everything I desire without getting fatter cos I can SS for a few days to shift the lbs.
It is really only the last year or so that I've even acknowledged that I have a problem, previously would just have described myself as someone who enjoys food, in fact I'm somebody who has no control around it.Well done on facing up to things and seeking help and on writing it all down here, reckon admitting it, is a big step in the right direction.
Hope today is a good one for you.
I did not ever use the word binge...I just went to the shop and got a goody bag of treats and sat in front of the TV and ate one thing after another until I could eat no more.
I did however begin to wonder how come I was able to eat a family pack of mars bars and the like...
My husband said my eye was bigger than my belly, but this was not the case as I seldom had left overs...if at all.
My ability to view portion size had gone seriously faulty...it was only when I was doing dinner parties and perhaps I had about eight people and everyone was wondering when the next twenty or so where arriving that it might occur to me "are they saying I cooked too much food"????
At the same time this was happening I also found that a size 14 in clothes looked tiny and a size 10 looked to me like a handkerchief, so the mechanism that controls how to evaluate perception was gone askew I feel.
Now I am better able to judge and I don't know if it is related to being a smaller size or is it that I am in a re-learning process???
I did however begin to wonder how come I was able to eat a family pack of mars bars and the like...
My husband said my eye was bigger than my belly, but this was not the case as I seldom had left overs...if at all.
My ability to view portion size had gone seriously faulty...it was only when I was doing dinner parties and perhaps I had about eight people and everyone was wondering when the next twenty or so where arriving that it might occur to me "are they saying I cooked too much food"????
At the same time this was happening I also found that a size 14 in clothes looked tiny and a size 10 looked to me like a handkerchief, so the mechanism that controls how to evaluate perception was gone askew I feel.
Now I am better able to judge and I don't know if it is related to being a smaller size or is it that I am in a re-learning process???
Thank Cheb and Mini. I know that lots of people who post on this site have some issues with food (doh!!) or we wouldn't be here! I suppose knowing you have a problem is the first step towards solving it, but knowing you are not alone is invaluabe - I find reading other's posts on their daily battles refreshingly honest and in an strange way, mildly comforting, as I can see how they deal with it and get stronger. I just hope I can learn from others on here.
Thanks for all your support!
Thanks for all your support!
Brightness
Happily on CD
{{{{{{{{Kebab}}}}}}}} look at how much you've already lose hunny You're doing really well and I can't even begin to imagine the difficulties that you're facing.
If they think the cause is physiological then can't they give you something to stop you bingeing and purging?
Anti-depressants can act as an appetite suppressant and they are sometimes prescribed for this to bullimics (which you obviously are as you are purgeing Fluoxetine (Prozac) is very often prescribed for this.
Honestly hunny, if your GP isn't being very helpful and supporting you, see another in the practice - but you do have to be totally honest with them and not only give 'pinches' of the truth Good luck xxxxx
You're doing really well and I can't even begin to imagine the difficulties that you're facing.If they think the cause is physiological then can't they give you something to stop you bingeing and purging?
Anti-depressants can act as an appetite suppressant and they are sometimes prescribed for this to bullimics (which you obviously are as you are purgeing
Fluoxetine (Prozac) is very often prescribed for this.Honestly hunny, if your GP isn't being very helpful and supporting you, see another in the practice - but you do have to be totally honest with them and not only give 'pinches' of the truth
Good luck xxxxx
Hi Kebab,
Your not alone on here that is for sure.
And I have found I have learnt so much from those who have gone ahead of me...it's like that saying "We are all standing on the shoulders of giants"!
I feel myself down the years the magazines that I read or books never actually did much for me as we all know must of the stuff about eat less and you will lose weight etc.
The diet industry is one of the fastest growing, so that just speaks to me that obviously what we have been reading is not working...and why?
I believe that we all have the ability to lose the weight that is the first step and that is what all the books and magazines deal with...lose five pounds for Christmas, get that flat tummy for summer...
The real issues are ones of the lives we live and how we relate to the world and our environment and deal with emotions of all sorts.
Life has it's ups and downs and there are times when we can take on the world and things are easy and other times we get snowed under or that things happen to us that we have no experience of or skills to cope and sometimes find it hard to relate to friends or family for we fear we might upset them or that they have enough of their own problems.
We all need support and that is a fact of life, but I have discovered that for some it is easier for them to receive support than give it...and others they find it easier to give than receive because of feelings of unworthiness.
But in the course of this weightloss journey I have learnt to see that I too must be willing to ask for help, find it awful hard as I am use to being the strong person, but I know I can not do this journey alone, I need the skill and help from others who have been through it and I don't have to reinvent the 'Wheel'.
While it is much harder to ask for help for oneself, it is the quickest route to moving on. I ended up going around in circles for far too long and getting nowhere.
A lot of us just are not use to accepting help in case we might offend or be a bother.
This is where weight loss support comes into its own for the people you will find here on the site have gone or are going or beginning the process and you will have company and empathy along the way to goal, once you reach goal and there after...
I feel passionate about this as does everyone on the MiniMins Team.
Your not alone on here that is for sure.
And I have found I have learnt so much from those who have gone ahead of me...it's like that saying "We are all standing on the shoulders of giants"!
I feel myself down the years the magazines that I read or books never actually did much for me as we all know must of the stuff about eat less and you will lose weight etc.
The diet industry is one of the fastest growing, so that just speaks to me that obviously what we have been reading is not working...and why?
I believe that we all have the ability to lose the weight that is the first step and that is what all the books and magazines deal with...lose five pounds for Christmas, get that flat tummy for summer...
The real issues are ones of the lives we live and how we relate to the world and our environment and deal with emotions of all sorts.
Life has it's ups and downs and there are times when we can take on the world and things are easy and other times we get snowed under or that things happen to us that we have no experience of or skills to cope and sometimes find it hard to relate to friends or family for we fear we might upset them or that they have enough of their own problems.
We all need support and that is a fact of life, but I have discovered that for some it is easier for them to receive support than give it...and others they find it easier to give than receive because of feelings of unworthiness.
But in the course of this weightloss journey I have learnt to see that I too must be willing to ask for help, find it awful hard as I am use to being the strong person, but I know I can not do this journey alone, I need the skill and help from others who have been through it and I don't have to reinvent the 'Wheel'.
While it is much harder to ask for help for oneself, it is the quickest route to moving on. I ended up going around in circles for far too long and getting nowhere.
A lot of us just are not use to accepting help in case we might offend or be a bother.
This is where weight loss support comes into its own for the people you will find here on the site have gone or are going or beginning the process and you will have company and empathy along the way to goal, once you reach goal and there after...
I feel passionate about this as does everyone on the MiniMins Team.
{{{{{{{{Kebab}}}}}}}} look at how much you've already lose hunny
If they think the cause is physiological then can't they give you something to stop you bingeing and purging?
Anti-depressants can act as an appetite suppressant and they are sometimes prescribed for this to bullimics (which you obviously are as you are purgeing
Honestly hunny, if your GP isn't being very helpful and supporting you, see another in the practice - but you do have to be totally honest with them and not only give 'pinches' of the truth
It is important to remember we are not Doctors, we can not tell or adivse anyone what they should or should not take in the line of medication; only offer a personal opinion and at the end of the day that is all it is an opinion, your own doctor is best qualified to discuss this.
I value all the advice and support I get here, thanks you lot!!!
As for the docs, I do tell the whole picture and have done all the theripy, councilling and every medication they could throw at me (prozac, reductil, seditives etc) Nothing works!!! I know the answer is in me, I just have to find the right key to open the door. I will beat the food thing. I was first diagnosed with bulimia 7 years ago, but I have been bulimic for the best part of 20 years. I don't fit the normal pattern of a bulimic though - most have bulimia for a relatively short term, almost all bulimics are within a normal weight range - I clearly am not!!! Most bulimics have specific reasons and triggers, no amount of councilling and food diaries and emotional diaries have been able to find a pattern. I'm just odd!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to have sounded so down and desparate earlier, sometimes you just have to get it out of your system. I'm feeling positive today, yesterday is over and I am ready to move onwards and downwards (on the scales that is!)
Again, huge thanks for the ongoing support, I only hope that I can one day offer as much to others.
Ahhh HUGS all!!!
As for the docs, I do tell the whole picture and have done all the theripy, councilling and every medication they could throw at me (prozac, reductil, seditives etc) Nothing works!!! I know the answer is in me, I just have to find the right key to open the door. I will beat the food thing. I was first diagnosed with bulimia 7 years ago, but I have been bulimic for the best part of 20 years. I don't fit the normal pattern of a bulimic though - most have bulimia for a relatively short term, almost all bulimics are within a normal weight range - I clearly am not!!! Most bulimics have specific reasons and triggers, no amount of councilling and food diaries and emotional diaries have been able to find a pattern. I'm just odd!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to have sounded so down and desparate earlier, sometimes you just have to get it out of your system. I'm feeling positive today, yesterday is over and I am ready to move onwards and downwards (on the scales that is!)
Again, huge thanks for the ongoing support, I only hope that I can one day offer as much to others.
Ahhh HUGS all!!!
Off topic sort of.
Years ago I knew this girl who's best friends father was a leading psychiatrist and he had a real problem with food in that before he went to work every morning he locked all the food up and took the key with him. His wife was a stay at home housewife, so I often wondered what she did for the day.
He controlled every bit of food that went into his family, I always wondered how those children ended up?
For me I think you do know so much already about yourself and you never have to apologise for getting stuff off your chest as it is better out that in and I think that is the time we can learn something important that we needed to know about ourselves.
I find when you write something down and read over it later, sometimes I have gone, did I say that and things can become clearer.
Years ago I knew this girl who's best friends father was a leading psychiatrist and he had a real problem with food in that before he went to work every morning he locked all the food up and took the key with him. His wife was a stay at home housewife, so I often wondered what she did for the day.
He controlled every bit of food that went into his family, I always wondered how those children ended up?
For me I think you do know so much already about yourself and you never have to apologise for getting stuff off your chest as it is better out that in and I think that is the time we can learn something important that we needed to know about ourselves.
I find when you write something down and read over it later, sometimes I have gone, did I say that
and things can become clearer.Brightness
Happily on CD
I wasn't telling her what to take but merely telling her what they can prescribe for it.
I was trying to be helpful - that's all.
Hi Brightness,
No one is saying that you were not. I know better than anyone that you have a heart of gold and you are a wonderful fountain of knowledge and I do value what you have to say.
I just like to reiterate that it is always best to talk things out with your own doctor always as that is what they are there for.
I really appreciate all comments and suggestions from all. I know only I can sort it (I had hoped with the support of proffessionals i.e the docs - but they don't seem to have a clue!!) So I look for any advice and suggestions. You folks are wonderful, again, thank you so much for your support!!!!
I'm just having a quick read of a few threads before showering and heading into Mery Hill to meet my friend. She is in a wheel chair as a resul of a car crash 20 years ago which severed her spinal chord. She does't get to Merry Hill often as she lives about 15 miles away and doesn't like going on her own. We'll be shopping for about 6 hours if I know her!!!!! So lots of excercise for me!!!!! Have my WI tonight. I'll be happy to have stayed the same as I have not had a good week. I look at it this way - if I stay the same, it's better than gaining and Monday WI signals the start of a new week, wipe the slate clean and start agian
Hope you all have a good day. Look forward to reading your WI posts soon!!!
I'm just having a quick read of a few threads before showering and heading into Mery Hill to meet my friend. She is in a wheel chair as a resul of a car crash 20 years ago which severed her spinal chord. She does't get to Merry Hill often as she lives about 15 miles away and doesn't like going on her own. We'll be shopping for about 6 hours if I know her!!!!! So lots of excercise for me!!!!! Have my WI tonight. I'll be happy to have stayed the same as I have not had a good week. I look at it this way - if I stay the same, it's better than gaining and Monday WI signals the start of a new week, wipe the slate clean and start agian
Hope you all have a good day. Look forward to reading your WI posts soon!!!
Been out all day and must have walked miles around Merry Hill! Saw CDC and picked up a new weeks supply.
New weight 16 stone dead!!!!
Despite having a fairly awful week, I still managed to lose 3lbs somewhere. Read back some of my posts in this diary and realised how negative I have been. Sorry to anyone reading it, I know people read them to offer help and support (thanks), but also to gain motivation when struggling themselves. So here's a big sorry to anyone I may have affected in a negative way -
SORRY!!!!!!
I'm generally a very positive and upbeat person, so I don't know why I allowed so much negativity here (I can only plead TOTM!!)
No more misery here.
I'll be honest, but I'll stop beating myself up so much.
Having a good day so far, but having an early night as I'm absolutely shattered!!!!
nighty night all
New weight 16 stone dead!!!!
Despite having a fairly awful week, I still managed to lose 3lbs somewhere. Read back some of my posts in this diary and realised how negative I have been. Sorry to anyone reading it, I know people read them to offer help and support (thanks), but also to gain motivation when struggling themselves. So here's a big sorry to anyone I may have affected in a negative way -
SORRY!!!!!! I'm generally a very positive and upbeat person, so I don't know why I allowed so much negativity here (I can only plead TOTM!!)
No more misery here.
I'll be honest, but I'll stop beating myself up so much.
Having a good day so far, but having an early night as I'm absolutely shattered!!!!
nighty night all
Cheb
Gold Member
Hi
Glad to hear that you are more upbeat but don't worry about posting the rotten stuff too, it's good to talk and a problem shared and all that... Think it also helps others (ie me!) to realise that they are not the only one with these types of ups and downs, I admire the way you are so honest and upfront.
Glad to hear that you are more upbeat but don't worry about posting the rotten stuff too, it's good to talk and a problem shared and all that... Think it also helps others (ie me!) to realise that they are not the only one with these types of ups and downs, I admire the way you are so honest and upfront.
