Hello my lovely, it's really hard isn't it, when you fall off the wagon lol, I feel uncomfortable in my size 14 work trousers now and soon they won't fit... I just am so stressed quite a lot lately and had a run in with my neighbours as we have a shared drive they seem to forget it's shared and dump their car there, been doing it years and it'll just get worse as they have 4 kids, eldest has a big audi and both husband and wife have a car each too, the 2nd daughter is learning and they never use the space in front of their garage at the back and garage full of crap as most peoples are... just a bloody joke, as I'm a single mother and only one car, double blocked paved drive in front, and the same as neighbour at the back, so potentially space for 4 cars, it's up to me if I choose to park in any 4 of them, it's not their right to park on the shared drive constantly blocking access to the garden... I really had a go, then his second daughter spoke to me so nicely after her elder sister was rude, I said yeah he can park there argh... what is wrong with me... anyway, i'm parking in my garden and I guess that's what I'll have to just keep doing in future and leave the front empty, if I don't then they'll continue to take advantage and never do anything about the lack of parking spaces they have!!! I'll never buy a house like this again with shared drive!!!
Then I've had money worries, if it improves one end, something else comes up. Banging my head at the moment.
Managing fruit and veg just the extra's and also had bread/pizza recently.
I look in the mirror every day and feel terrible, just can't get back into it.
Still seeing my man, really rethought through what I want and not really discussing it with him, just more or less what I said it would be at the start, apart from I introduced the kids much sooner than I wanted too. Anyway, he had the opportunity to introduce me to his son last weekend, he called me on Friday morning to say that his son was throwing a wobbly (he's 11) about wanting to see him on Saturday, (he was meant to spend the day with me...) so I basically said well it's his son and he should come first... I thought it might of been nice to suggest us meeting but I kept those thoughts to myself, so... I've decided that unless I meet his son, then he won't be meeting my kids again, I won't say anything about this to him, i'll keep it to myself, but I don't think I should need to say anything, surely the fact that he's met my two, he should automatically want me to meet his son. We're supposed to be all getting together at the end of July, however I'll be making serious excuses not to meet up if I still haven't met him!!! It'll just prolong our relationship progressing further, but, that's alright with me. I have completely changed in the past year, I honestly thought i'd never meet anyone again, I wasn't interested if anything, so this has happened by chance... he did the chasing, i'll enjoy it for what it is, which to be honest, we both don't have money (I seem to have more than he does) so I've also said I'm not making plans or going out anywhere that involves spending money, and if he suggests us doing something i'll accept, as long as he's paying for both of us, i'll leave my purse at home and he can drive us... I'm learning slowly. I'm litterally about £100-150 out of pocket since meeting him, cause he's been in serious debt, I felt sorry for him, but now i've told him i'm not doing it anymore, he's not said anything since. He still seems to like me, still wants to see me... so i'll take my time, if it always stays like this, fine! It's nice to have someone to chill out with every other friday night, i'd be spending the evening alone anyway, so why not lol. He is lovely, but we've both got history, so this will do us both good.
Anyway, I daren't weigh myself my lovely, daren't!!!! I'm not going to make goal or anywhere near goal for my birthday, but to be honest there's nothing planned and money won't allow. I'll do what I can every now and then. Hopefully if I can sort my finances out, I'll be able to spend a bit more on healthy food and perhaps go cold turkey on sweet things for a while... we'll see.