Lost & Found... Map Gone AWOL!

[Katycakes]

Aw, Lostris, thanks honey.

I have to say you and Serena are my heroes, ever since you posted on my Emotional Eating thread back in Jan I have been inspired by your kindness, support and empathy, as well of course as by your amazing achievements with CD. Whenever I have hit a bump in the road, you two have been there to make sure I was OK & help me get back on track. Words of encouragement or the chance to talk through difficult issues in confidence, those things have made all the difference to me.

And for me, travelling this journey has been made a little easier because two very brave travellers went ahead of me. Reading about your ups and downs has helped me to be more prepared for my own. Now I am on this forum, I feel like the end should be in sight, but as you say it is really just the beginning... still, I have come so far and I am not sad to leave behind the place I travelled from.

Gonna go before I get all snuffly, but big hugs to you & Serena and of course to the many other fab & lovely minis folk who have been here for me too.

xxx

 

[Lostris]

Aw, Lostris, thanks honey.

I have to say you and Serena are my heroes, ever since you posted on my Emotional Eating thread back in Jan I have been inspired by your kindness, support and empathy, as well of course as by your amazing achievements with CD. Whenever I have hit a bump in the road, you two have been there to make sure I was OK & help me get back on track. Words of encouragement or the chance to talk through difficult issues in confidence, those things have made all the difference to me.

And for me, travelling this journey has been made a little easier because two very brave travellers went ahead of me. Reading about your ups and downs has helped me to be more prepared for my own. Now I am on this forum, I feel like the end should be in sight, but as you say it is really just the beginning... still, I have come so far and I am not sad to leave behind the place I travelled from.

Gonna go before I get all snuffly, but big hugs to you & Serena and of course to the many other fab & lovely minis folk who have been here for me too.

xxx

:wave_cry: Awwww honni! That made me tear up!!

It's so sweet how you feel about all this but please do remember we only treat you as you treat us which definately says something good about you eh

I was quite sad to see the EE (hihihi) thread disappear under the 'but I really, really, reaaally want the nachos!!!!! -rubble ()but I reckon there will be others like it. I think that thread has created a bond between us and it makes me want to check up on you. Yay for me for you making a diary, makes it so much easier to check up on you Not that it was any trouble before, just a few clicks and a few words and that was it really but this is good. I think many others will be inspired by your thread as there are SO many people feeling the same or dealing with the same issues.

My PM is always open, I hope you know that! So if you ever have less 'public' struggles, I'm more than willing to help you with those and I'd feel honoured if you feel I might be able to provide insight.

You've come to this forum and you won't leave, we will glue you to the doorpost to make sure of that. When times are rough remember to take baby steps and think about how far you've come, which is very, very far!


Keep it up, so proud of you xxx

Don't know what else to say, your post really moved me.

 

[Katycakes]

Big hugs, Miss Pink Jeans. I am glued to the doorpost, no worries!

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Thursday April 30th:

Brekky : CD porridge, blackberries & cinnamon
midmorning: coffee 'latte' with half a CD shake
lunch: slice wheaten bread with lo-fat cottage cheese & coffee 'latte' with half a CD shake
afternoon: planned cheat - small slice polenta & almond cake in town with friend
tea: quorn, aspargus, spinach & mushroom 'stew' (no carb as I used my carb 'allowance' on the polenta/almond cake!)

The polenta cake was my week's 'treat'... in my head it wasn't as bad as a regular cake as it was a/ planned; b/ handmade; c/ wheat-free; d/ made with ground almonds which KD says have miraculous carb-cancelling properties...

OK. She didn't EXACTLY say that... but that almonds eaten with something do 'help' somehow or something odd like that. And I LOVE almonds! So that cake must have been OK... no? No. Oh well. It will be my new fave cake I think from now on. And I have had no carbs with my tea by way of penance.

Can I ask a weird question?

Is it possible to be in mild ketosis on 1000? Not now, obviously, but pre-polenta cake, all week have had metallic taste in mouth and felt v. thirsty, and not as hungry as I was over weekend when eating more carbs than I should have been. I cannot check as I don't ever use ketostix, but it feels like it, and I wouldn't have thought that would be possible?

xxx

 

[Serena A]

Aww Katy having read through the last few posts I don't really know what to say. You've helped so many on here, me included of course, with your fabulous words of support and encouragement and I'm so pleased that Lostris and I (and others too) have helped to make your CD journey easier...ultimately though you are your own hero - don't ever forget that xx

As for the carbs/ketosis question I'm guessing probably not, but with the calorie levels involved and with still having 2 CD packs a day out of that amount you wouldn't exactly be OD-ing on the carbs anyway ;-)

 

[KD]

Can I ask a weird question?

Is it possible to be in mild ketosis on 1000?

Yes, it is possible. Anything under 100g of carbs can keep some people in ketosis

 

[miss jelly tot]

d/ made with ground almonds which KD says have miraculous carb-cancelling properties...

Wow thanks Katy and KD i will remember that. So almond cake is ok to eat:hmm: lol...we wish

 

[Katycakes]

Big hugs, Serena. I just got all emotional earlier, still can't believe I made it this far. Anyway, not gonna get all slushy again, but... y'know... thanks!!! I just wanted you & Lostris to know how much you had helped & how much I appreciate it.

KD... woo... not sure if that is a good thing or a bad one! Good, I hope. But probably means 1200 is going to be a bigger challenge!

Trip... shhh... don't tell anyone about the cake... it's the secret CD polenta-cake-plan!

xxx

 

[KD]

KD... woo... not sure if that is a good thing or a bad one! Good, I hope. But probably means 1200 is going to be a bigger challenge!

It's neither. It's just a 'state'. Is it good to be awake or asleep? Being asleep is easy. Few challenges, but little fun

If you were in ketosis, then coming out of it may feel like a challenge. Scary? or fun? You know a lot more now than you did before. You're stronger, hopefully more confident.

You get to practice doing the right thing and that is really empowering. Every time you do it right, you'll put that self esteem up a notch and you'll also get better at doing it 'right'.

One thing that really helped me was realising that the more I did the right thing when it felt tough, the more powerful I became. We don't teach our brains a lot when it's easy.

Oh and BTW, hate to break it to you, but almonds don't have carb cancelling properties, but I do envy your ability to have wonderful dreams

They do lower the GI value of foods that you eat with the though, which keeps blood sugars stable and help stop a dip which can bring on cravings and hunger.

Also packed with protein that help satiety.

There is another thing magic about almonds, but forgive me for not telling you what it is at this point. Trust me on this one

 

[Lynn8124]

Hiya, I remember you starting out and now you're moving up the steps to maintenance. Good luck xx

 

[Katycakes]

Aw, KD... thank you... you always seem to have exactly the right words for the right person, I KNOW what you're saying is right but it helps more than you'd know to have it set out so clearly.

You get to practice doing the right thing and that is really empowering. Every time you do it right, you'll put that self esteem up a notch and you'll also get better at doing it 'right'.

Yessss.... this is what I want, and I know I don't seem to learn the lessons too easily, I do have a stubborn streak and a little voice that often says 'yes, but surely...' But I know this is a TRUTH because I have evidence of that already over the last five months. Thank you!!!

The ketosis thing is very odd, as I know I WASN'T in ketosis for some of my time on 810, and not just the 'cheat-ish' times. It is strange, I wonder if your body can change as metabolism adjusts, or as your 'normal' carb intake adjusts? I was reading your comment on Serena's diary about craving lots of carbs after CD, and wanted to comment but didn't want to hijack her thread.

I feel like I have 'broken' the back of a very strong carb habit. As veggie, I ate a LOT of carbs. Pasta. Bread. White rice. Spuds. I haven't missed those things... apart from bread, a little, and definitey NOT the processed sliced sort. And I have loved eating in a high-protein way, with quorn and tofu, it seems to suit me and I would love to go on that way. I have a (half-baked) theory that sometimes veggies are almost 'driven' to overeat as their bodies are in search of enough protein, yet all they are eating is carbs that fill yet never satisfy. I would love to keep the protein high in future, and keep an eye on GI, and never go back to being in the seesaw 'grip' of those processed carbs.

By the way, not saying this is why I was obese, it wasn't... my own messed-up binge eating was to blame.

Hmmm.... bit too early in the morning to be philosophizing, but that's ketosis for you! (And KD, she has that effect on me!!!)

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Thanks for fab message Lynette!!! Feels like I will need all the luck I can get, but it is FAB to have made it this far. Big hugs.

KD, back to the polenta cake... (sigh!!!)

Oh and BTW, hate to break it to you, but almonds don't have carb cancelling properties, but I do envy your ability to have wonderful dreams

I know!!! Another downfall of mine, but dreaming is one addiction I never want to lose. But that IS good news about the almonds, protein & satiety, and stuff. And now I want to know the big secret about almonds!!! You cannot dangle that in front of me and then run away!!! Noooooo!!! When will I be wise enough to learn the Final Secret of The Mysterious Almond, oh Great Master?

xxx

 

[Serena A]

I was reading your comment on Serena's diary about craving lots of carbs after CD, and wanted to comment but didn't want to hijack her thread.

Hiya Katy

Gosh that has been some interesting reading from you and KD (as ever!).

Regarding my carb cravings I was telling Lostris yesterday that I was like many others in that whilst on SS I craved "proper" food e.g. chicken/veggies etc rather than choccy/takeways or whatever. Then as soon as I got to have the chicken/veg it got me craving the next "notch" up e.g. fruit, granary bread etc, which then triggered the next level e.g. white bread/pasta etc etc...

I can totally see why it comes as a total shock to people when think they can dive straight from CD into "healthy eating" or WW and it all goes horribly wrong!

Not saying this will happen to you but I think for me, the more I introduced the more I wanted to test the water. KD's comment on my diary was spot on: "It probably feels like a bit of a treat? Something to prove to yourself that you can have it now...you're 'free'? Even if only subconsciously"

Luckily my saving grace is that doing the steps gradually has taught me that although I may give in to the odd craving I still have the power to control it.

You'll do fab I'm sure xx

 

[Katycakes]

Hi Serena... I know I am at a very early stage and had a feeling it wouldn't stay this easy! (Easy? Who am I kidding?) I suppose I have just enjoyed 810 over last few months and also 1000 seems do-able (now I am DOING it and not using it as an excuse to eat all I can see!). I never used to touch quorn before, and now I love it, so I suppose I just mean I want to keep it as a big part of my meals, and pulses because I love them. Over last few years our meals have slid towards 'fast' veggie food which can be even higher in fat than meaty stuff, and I want that to change. I was definitely in a high-carb vicious circle before, eat pasta & cheese sauce, crave more, eat white bread, crave more, on and on. The whole huge carb kingdom was being added on to the sugar kingdom as food for me to binge on.

So... I know that will rear its ugly head again at some point. But I want to be aware of it and guard against it taking over again if I can. I know that the desire to eat those things will return, and I want to be able to eat those things, but keep them in balance if that makes sense. I know it is easy to think about & much harder to put into practice, though... I will just have to take those baby steps everyone keeps telling me about!

Thanks Serena... forewarned is forearmed!

xxx

 

[sleepybird]

Whats the almond secret!!!!!

 

[Katycakes]

KD will not tell us the almond secret. We are not wise enough yet. Is it to do with marzipan? Amaretto? I wish!!!!

 

[Katycakes]

Friday May 1st

OK... just when you think it is not so hard, it gets harder. I know what I did wrong... just not WHY I did it! Sigh.

Brekky: porridge, berries, spoonful 0% greek yog
lunch: soft boiled egg on wholemeal toast. FAAAAAB.
I was sort of full after this, but decided I would have a CD bar for my 2nd CD thing. Why???!!!
So: toffee malt bar & coffee
And then... just felt really, really hungry. Why? How? Because before the bar I wasn't hungry at all, I just 'fancied' something sweet.
After lunch cheat: four oatcakes with almond butter (sorry KD! letting down the almond side again)

I have discovered it is very hard to eat just one oatcake. Felt bad, as I didn't even need the bar, let alone the oatcakes. I felt stupid, and started chain drinking herb tea, and decided again not to have carbs with my tea, as I had already had my carb allowance... so...

tea: mashed cauliflower with cottage cheese.

Think I may be over 1000 today. Pretty sure I am. Grrr.

Tomorrow I will be better, and one day I will be worthy of the Great Almond Secret.

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

I have discovered it is very hard to eat just one oatcake.

Actually, it occurs to me that I have discovered this many, many times. There has to be a message there!!!

xxx

 

[marmite 330]

Katy, Katy, Katy all this time you have been a strong support to me so here I am now for you. You have been doing brillinatly and life goes on, stop beating yourself up, to be honest what you are eating sounds horrible so it is hardly surprising you are getting a bit excited by the prospect of some normal tasty food, that has been my downfall, but you know from the last few months what the pitfalls are and you have learnt so much about yourself that you will be able to deal with these demons, much better than I am currently.

I wish you all the best in the world you deserve it just for being a really really good and honest person. so there xx

 

[Katycakes]

Jos, thank you. I am deeply weird because I do like the food I have been eating, but I know what you mean!!! CD is restrictive and any food seems great after months of shakes. I guess a part of me is fed up and wanting to move on. But I am not gonna mess up now, want to work up the steps properly, so I will hang on. And I am hanging on, just!

Hope you are hanging on too... it's a tough time for you right now, I know. Big hugs, & thanks for the kind words.

xxx