Lost & Found... Map Gone AWOL!

DAY ONE 1000

Not going to post yesterday's food as it ended up in another mindless binge. I know I chose to do it, just wish I knew WHY. Feels like my confidence is in pieces along with everything else, but I have to treat today as a new day and believe it will be a good one.

Brekky: CD porridge, 1 spoon 0% yog, few strawberries.

xxx
 
Let's make it a good one, we'll do it together. Each stick to the plan we are on and I'll look in this evening to catch up with you. One day at a time, we'll just plod on.
Lovely and sunny here, just come back from a ride through the woods. Quick break before the rush of the day really begins. Hot choc shake as I write this.
Bess x
 
Yep Katy, it is not just you struggling, quite a few of us seem to be having the same problem, and so I will also sign in here tonight and let you know how I did today, so far so good, had muesli and skimmed milk for breakfast and am going to have turkey ham salad for lunch followed my a choc mint mixamousse..... I am also having a cup of tea with each meal as I find this also helps me to fill up. Plus 1 pint of water before each meal too.... plan is to just have a CD bar for tea tonight with plenty of water, I really need to kick start this weight loss and move from the 10s to the 9s, I really struggled to move from the 11s to the 10s it took weeks, so need to do something positive. Keep posting and we will keep motivating each other.... you are 4lb over the 11s, and by my CDC scales I am 4lb over the 10s, lets see if we can both shift some of it by next Wednesday.
 
OK... not a perfect day, but a much better one than the last few.

brekky: CD porridge, 0% yog, few strawbs
snack: latte in town
lunch: boiled egg, slice multigrain toast
tea: quorn, feta, sprouts, broad beans, passata, mushrooms
and: CD hot choc

I think just about under 1000.
Feel less shaky, but gonna take it slowly.
Have signed up for Laura's end-of-aug challenge, which gives me a goal. 4lbs should take me back to goal weight which would be fab.

xxx

xxx
 
Oi missus there is no such thing as a perfect day. From what I can see that looks pretty good balance so stop being so harsh on yourself and give yourself a well deserved hug.

xx
 
Porgeous thanks for your support and kindness, read your post last night as well and appreciated it but just couldn't post then... starting to feel less shaky so fingers crossed I will be OK now. Big hug for you too, lovely P.

xxx
 
Katycakes said:
OK... not a perfect day, but a much better one than the last few.

brekky: CD porridge, 0% yog, few strawbs
snack: latte in town
lunch: boiled egg, slice multigrain toast
tea: quorn, feta, sprouts, broad beans, passata, mushrooms
and: CD hot choc

I think just about under 1000.
Feel less shaky, but gonna take it slowly.
Have signed up for Laura's end-of-aug challenge, which gives me a goal. 4lbs should take me back to goal weight which would be fab.

xxx

xxx
Click to expand...


Hi Katy - well that looks ok doesn't it lovey? Well done. I've been busy all day and just had tuna, cauliflower and cottage cheese, followed by strawberry mousse because I've run out of bars, :( so coffee on it's own tonight.
You are doing ok, lets do the same tomorrow although it won't be such a straightforward day for me because there are a lot of people coming for supper and I don't want to be noticed eating something very different. I'll talk to my CDC tomorrow morning. I may not be able to see how you are tomorrow night either, but I'll look on Sunday morning.

Come on, you can do it you know, we are all supporting you every step of the way, just as you have helped each of us when we've needed it.

Bess x
 
Thanks Serena, and thanks Bess...

Will think of you tomorrow Bess, I know that dilemma of not wanting to look like the odd one out. You will do it though... and I will do my best too. Am hoping to go out for lunch, to cafe where daughter has part time job. I can get a salad of green leaves with plain egg, which should be fine. But if I feel wobbly I won't go... though it's at home where the danger lies funnily!

Once I get used to feeling a bit hungry again it'll be easier... normally eating the amount I ate today I would feel full and happy. Just need to re-set things a bit and get back into a healthy eating zone.

I can do it.

Craving choc now, but not going to give in, promise.

xxx
 
Good girl. I know I bang on about it, but black coffee fixes hunger/fancying things for me. Perhaps it might help? x
 
Thanks Serena, Bess & Laura.

Have to admit I ate a bit of toast with marmite and also a shape yog last night, quite late on. I didn't do the black coffee thing, but wish I had tried it. I will if those cravings hit again Bess, so thanks for tip. Am upset with self but also aware that it could have been much worse. Feel as if I am creeping very slowly back from edge of precipice.

Today will be a little bit better again.

Laura, self-esteem? Dead right. That's why I always tried to get you to be kinder to yourself. People like us... well, sometimes it takes one to know one. I am much better than I was, but there are huge holes in my confidence and sometimes it's as if they suck you down and swallow you whole.

Doesn't mean we are allowed to stop fighting it though. Have a good day Laura... I will, too.

xxx
 
I think its something in the air at the minute, we all seem to have a dose of the "wobbles". Boo!
Stick with it beautiful.
Ps, great to hear from you porgeous! xx
 
Thinking of you today Katy, how was lunch at the cafe? You'll be over this blip in a day or two, it's just knocked your confidence. x
 
Hey Katy, sorry to hear you've been struggling lately and hope you get back in the groove soon.

Dont know if its anything you've done before or would find useful but I'm doing an online CBT course just now-dont want to include link incase Im not meant to! but its livinglifetothefull.com -recognising unhelpful thinking, changing unhelpful behaviours etc- Its a scottish healthboard funded thingy. dont know if you'd find it any use?
 
Ah, Sleepy, Bess, Angela & Curly... have nothing positive to post about yesterday, alas. Fell out with son and ended up feeling upset & churny all day, even after we made up. Went for walk to try and work thru the feelings but got rained off. Didn't go out for lunch, but ate binge-style and went out to buy choc just to do that. What can I say. Shame and fear doesn't cover it.

BUT. Today is another day. I have just had CD porridge and have high hopes for rest of day. (Where have you heard that before?)

It makes me think of times I have posted on other people's threads about stopping binge-eating and how nothing seemed to get through or help. And now it's me... very scary. But of course the only one who can get me out of it is me. And the cals consumed per day are still less than they would have been in past, it's just the mindset that frightens me. Seven months without anything like this, and now here I am again... but perhaps with more awareness, so surely I can stop this spiral. I can. I will.

Angela, your post is like a lifebelt chucked to a drowning person. Will google the place and see what comes up, I need to sort the stuff in my head that wants to stop me being happy. And online course is safer than having to go out in the real world and find something. Would be hard too as I am so rural here. Big, big hugs... and big, big thanks.

xxx
 
This will pass. You'll be alright again. What would happen if you were gentle with yourself and didn't fight the binge demons? I don't mean give in to them, just refuse to fight so hard.
They may just creep away, tail between their legs and leave you alone again. Just don't send them here!
It doesn't all have to won in a day you know, be as kind to yourself as you are to us when we go through the same thing.

I have a mental thing which helps me, in all sorts of ways. Maybe it would help you too. It's this - In my head there are a row of boxes, shoe box sized, which are on a high shelf, I can only just reach it. When something is troubling me and I can't reslove it quickly, or at all, I put the problem into a box and tie the lid on with baler twine, good and tight. Then up it goes on the shelf to be dealt with later and if the little beggars sneak a slimy arm out I slam the lid down again and tie it tighter.

Now sometimes, later never comes and I forget what was in the box - and guess what? When I open one another time, it's empty. On other occasions this gives me the breathing space I need to have some time away from the problem and I can choose to open the box and deal with it.

If you stop panicking, fighting so hard and step back instead, you'll realise that even a week or two of overdoing it isn't going to make you pile weight back on. And you know what? I'll bet those demons will leave you alone.

Rooting for you today, love, Bess x
 
Great post Bess. I do the box thing too, only mine is a treasure chest padlocked with several chains and thrown into the deep ocean. Hope you are ok Katy xxx
 
aww thanks,hope it helps. Went to the GP and he suggested it, its not been designed for emotional/binge eating but Im managing to relate it to my bad habits, its not just something to read through either, lots of practical workbook type examples. The rural thing was a problem for me too and its good as I can do it at my own pace and round little ones sleep times.
 
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