Lost & Found... Map Gone AWOL!

Thinking of you Katy.

I was going to say something similar to Bess but she said it much better than me :) It's okay to have the addictive desires - the bit I struggle with (and right now doing okay) is just because I have the desire doesn't mean I have to follow them. Trying to be calm and think through the desires really helps. Though of course it's so much easier said than done.

x
 
Great post Bess. I do the box thing too, only mine is a treasure chest padlocked with several chains and thrown into the deep ocean. Hope you are ok Katy xxx

Oh yes, I like this one. Do you think we could squeeze my sister in?!! ;):flirt2::p
 
Ah, Sleepy, Bess, Angela & Curly... have nothing positive to post about yesterday, alas. Fell out with son and ended up feeling upset & churny all day, even after we made up. Went for walk to try and work thru the feelings but got rained off. Didn't go out for lunch, but ate binge-style and went out to buy choc just to do that. What can I say. Shame and fear doesn't cover it.

Hey, been there down that and since I got to goal too. I didn't reach goal, work out the head stuff, stop the bingeing etc in one day. I'd binge, then stop for even a few months (which was a massive improvement!), then binge again..then there'd be more months. Now it's been about 18 months without a binge.

The difference with the binges this time was that they were no where near the same size. There was an element of consciousness about what I was doing. And..the approach after was different.

No beating up, no being ashamed of myself, no putting myself down as a failure. Just "well I'll be...that was interesting..wonder why I did that and what should I have done" approach.

Besides, it was bingey..not a true binge I think? More of an overeating session ;)

You're okay Katy


it's just the mindset that frightens me.

Keep it in proportion. Don't let it dominate.

so surely I can stop this spiral. I can. I will.

Absolutely! There is no spiral, there is no slippery slope. Each moment is a fresh start.

The CBT thing sounds good. Unhelpful behaviours and I guess they cover irrational thoughts which was a biggy thing for me to work on.

Lots of hugs for Katy :hug99:
 
:party0023:

Go Katy,Go Katy,Go Katy,Go Katy, Go Katy,Go Katy, Go Katy,Go!!! x
 
Just dropping in and saw you have been having a tough time katy :gen126:

Hang on in there sweetie, everyone is here with as much moral support that you need.

Annie x
 
Thanks Bess & Sleepy, the box thing is helpful. Have heard of this but never used it... but right now, all helpful tactics welcome.

Angela, have logged into the site you mentioned and will do the course. I really appreciate this link, thanks a million.

Laura, thanks too, hanging on to the 'keep calm' bit. And doing better today.

KD, hugs back. I know it's not just me, and I know this is part of the journey and part of the learning process (for me anyway). I think I just panicked. After several weeks of pushing it with choices, there have been binges, but as you say not as major as they would have been in the past. And I have felt shame and self-blame, but also fighting with that is the voice saying stay calm, keep trying, don't let yourself go down. And funnily, I did think when I typed the word spiral, 'spiral? don't think of it like that'. But I typed it anyway. And you are right, so much of it is about attitude. I need to slow down and stay aware and stay calm... no spiral, no slippery slope. Only choices, every time, my choice. And yes, I do want to know why it happened, so I can stop it happening again.

Today has been a better day, a proper 1000 day, or nearer than I've been to one for a long whileI am so relieved. I wish I could say that was because of strong willpower etc, but it's more like the storm has blown itself out. (I hope). One day at a time.

Brekky: CD porridge, spoon 0% yog, blackberries
lunch: boiled egg, piece brown toast
snack: CD hot choc
tea: quorn, mushroom, sprout & chopped tomato stew, then CD bar

xxx
 
Sleepy & Lazy, just cross-posted with both... thanks honeys. Big hugs.

xxx
 
Just catching up Katy. Glad yesterday was a better day for you. I wish there was a simple solution to binge eating...I would be up the front too receiving treatment :rolleyes: x
 
Aw, good to see you Trip! No pushing in line, you two!!! How are you doing though hon?

Curly, I know... I've and good and bad days all along, but never been derailed like this before and after so long it just took me by surprise and scared me. Still fragile but trying... craving still, but made a coffee rather than reach for a CD shake or bar, or anything worse. Target: No lunch till 12.30!

xxx
 
I set myself targets of when I should eat too Katy, I try and have breakfast at 8am, then a snack at 10.30, lunch at 1pm, snack at 3.30 and dinner at 6, then it is all nice and evenly spaced. If I dont have a snack I will still sit down then with a cup of tea.

Glad to see you have had a better day hun, you are doing great because instead of totally giving up, you are still trying hard to overcome the cravings which is brilliant and get back on track. As KD has said she had these bingey things long after she had started maintaining and the important thing is not to give up, to take control again and move on... You are a strong person, you must be to travel around the world on your own for your own business, but we all also have weaknesses and we just need to understand what these are and not let them drag us down. Chin Up and I look forward to hearing you have had another good day.
 
Hi Katy, thinking of you. Haven't caught up on all of your thread yet but just wanted to say I hope you are doing well today.

xxx
 
Hi Greeneyes and Sunshine. Today has been OK... and that is such a relief. Once I get a few good days together, then I will feel a bit stronger and more confident again. Thanks for the support.

xxx
 
Today... not quite a 1000 day I suspect, maybe 1100 or 1200, but still a good day in terms of control so I will not worry too much. It's staying away from mindless overeating that is the big thing right now.

Brekky: CD porridge, 0% yog, few blackberries
(wanted snack but didn't give in, even when friend popped in unexpectedly.)
lunch: boiled egg, multigrain toast
snack: CD hot choc
snack: apple
tea: small helping cous cous, plus quorn, sprout & spinach stew; CD bar

Anyway, day by day, right?

xxx
 
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