Lost & Found... Map Gone AWOL!

[Chelsea Lou]

Hiya... scales say 11st so who knows. Will get proper scales at weekend & verify.

Had the worst ever start to a day... my lovely dog died this morning at half seven. I was up early (5) and let dogs out, settled down to mooch through the threads on minis... at 5.30 Daisy came over to say hello, she is 12 & a retired/rescue greyhound with arthritis & heart problems. Her bak legs gave way & she went into panic mode trying to stand, then kind of spasms... I ended up holding her to calm her down and stayed that way for next 2 and a half hours... it just got worse... she would thrash about and bite her tongue and the carpet was all blood, pee & s***. I couldn't let go, but my son found us, OH called vet, daughter came in to sit with me, vet arrived and took 4 jags to actually release her... just so, so horrid.

We will bury her later when OH gets home again. Just talked to my lovely sister-outlaw on phone, and cried some more, feel a bit better now, & obviously have cleaned carpet and showered & thrown some clothes away. Just so upsetting, death isn't always peaceful or quick I guess.

She was my Dad's dog, he died 18 months ago & she came to live here as we loved her & my mum didn't want to keep her. He gave her a very happy life and if there is any justice she will be with him again now... don't really believe that but it's a nice image. Losing her has brought my Dad's death back all over again, gotta go I'm crying all over the keyboard.

xxx

Oh Katy, you have me crying too. What a dreadful thing to have happened. I am sending you loads of love and big hugs.

I know what you mean about bringing back the loss of your Dad. My cat had her kittens just before my mum died and the last thing my mum ever did was look at a photo on my phone that I had taken of the newly-born kittens. She then went into a deep sleep and never woke up, dying 5 days later. When I had to give up my cats recently, the emotion that is tied up with them because of mum, it really came to the fore again. I absolutely feel that they are together again. Your dad and your dog, walking through the heather like they used to.

Take care sweetie xxx

 

[Lostris]

Oh darling I'm so sorry about your beloved pet (and your dad, too.. not sure I knew that yet!).

I guess life has a way of biting us in the butt doesn't it? Things like this let us know we're not over it yet. It was a big thing, your dad dying and this reminder of him dying now, too..

Let yourself cry honny, you need to cry it';ll make you feel better in the end I promise.

I'm sorry I can't really relate to a loved one passing away but I can think of the most sucky feeling in the world and multiply it x10.. hoping to come close enough so I can think of something to say to comfort you... Hate to say I can't think of anything. I hope others have wiser words for you darling.. Be safe and take it easy!

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Thanks so much Jess, Lorrayne & Lostris... thanks for caring. Something like this can really knock you sideways... trying to work but not getting very far. Thank goodness I work from home, I look like the creature from the black lagoon & I do keep welling up although I know that she could not have come back from that, and she was suffering, all of that. It does drag up all sorts of other stuff, alas.

Anyway, thanks. And Lorrayne, such a lovely image, it's how I would love to think of them both, thanks for that thought and hugs to all.

xxx

 

[Berryred]

oh no sorry hun xxxxx

 

[Sarette]

I am so very sorry for your loss. Poor Daisy at least she is free from the pain now.

Thinking of you and your family xxxxxxxxx

 

[Katycakes]

Thanks honeys... I know. Hugs.

xxx

 

[DisneyParis]

Oh Katy, l'm so sorry. I had tears welling up in my eyes (then rolling down my cheeks) as l read your post. I'm haven't had a dog since l was age 12, but l still remember how much l missed her when she died.
Thinking of you & sending you a big hug.

 

[Katycakes]

Thanks Disney... horrid day, but better now. We just buried her under the apple tree and put flowers on her and it was sad but things feel a bit lighter now and I know we couldn't have done anything more for her. Big sighs.

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Hugs back lovely girl... so strange that minis people can be there for you with totally random un-CD stuff as well as all the usual weight-related stuff. The support thru the day has meant a huge amount. Read about your size 10 jeans and so happy for you hun! What a star.

Got pals coming over for a while so will check in again before bed.

xxx

 

[miss jelly tot]

Oh no I'm sorry, I know nothing I say can will help, so for you.....:hug99: xx

 

[Katycakes]

Friday May 8th

Thanks Trip, hugs.

Food wise... could have been a very bad day, there was a point mid morning when the option to just eat and eat was hovering in a big way, but I could feel it looming and chose not to do it... curled up and had a sleep instead. Food wouldn't have helped.

Brekky: CD porridge, berries, spoonful of )% greek yog.
snack: CD cranberry bar
snack 2: 2x oatcakes with peanut butter (pause & sleep)
lunch: sprouted wheat bread & mashed banana
tea: 1/3 tin beans on soda bread toast
snack: (after resisting biscuits, cake & choc with friends who were over this evening)
3 x oatcakes with peanut butter

Low on veg & salad, high on the demon oatcakes, but not a binge, and for that I am very glad. Feel better now... thanks again for all kind words.

xxx

 

[KD]

Awww, Katy. So sorry to hear about your doggy

Food wise... could have been a very bad day, there was a point mid morning when the option to just eat and eat was hovering in a big way, but I could feel it looming and chose not to do it... curled up and had a sleep instead. Food wouldn't have helped.

Yay. You're a liddle star :clap:

What is it with these oatcakes? Don't think I've ever tried one.

 

[miss jelly tot]

What is it with these oatcakes? Don't think I've ever tried one.

Me neither, I have tried cakes though! x

 

[Lostris]

I;ve never tasted them but google images suggests they're very nice!

 

[Sarette]

I've not tried them either, but I am certainly going to! And maybe with peanut butter on

I'm pleased you're feeling better Katy, still sad about poor Daisy though .

I went to Boots yesterday and they had no Salter scales at all, so I came home and ordered some online. Hope they don't take too long to come!

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Sat May 9th

Better day (would have been pushed for it to be worse than yesterday!)

Brekky: CD porridge, berries, spoonful 0% greek yog
skinny latte
lunch: wagamama rice, tofu, egg & veg stir-fry & miso soup
skinny latte
tea: 3 x oatcakes with almond butter & CD toffee bar

Food... again, short on fruit & salad, but had a day in Glasgow, early start at 7.30 & back just after 5. Happy with choices, left half of stir fry & miso soup, it was gorgeous but just very filling, OH helped! Again, the oatcakes... peanut butter all gone (son loves it too) so resorted to almond butter which is not so more-ish.

KD... never tried oatcakes? Well, when you tell me the Secret of the Almonds I will tell you the Secret of the Oatcakes! Nope, they are popular in scotland & lighter/smaller than bread. I am not mad about sliced bread anymore... or is it just like Trip says, just because it has the word CAKE in? Hmmmm. And then there is the peanut butter! While I am abroad I will be very unlikely to have access to oatcakes or peanut butter, so this obsession will hopefully be short-lived!

So. Day in Glasgow. Shopping for last minute bits for trip abroad, & also getting a new haul of undies, as none of bras fit anymore, and wanted to get to goal (ish) before buying anything. Took forever... had to be measured & M&S busy due to 25% off all bras (gift from gods!) but such a good feeling to get nice, pretty undies again, that actually fit. I bought a 'matching set' bra & knicks too, which I have never had in my life, & I had decided would be a goal treat. (Jumping gun by .2 of a lb but as I am off abroad on wok trip on Tues it was my last chance really.)

So... great feeling. Bought a pretty 50s style dress at Laura Ashley, size 12. WHOA!!! I have never, ever been a 12. (Someone said on threads a while back that the sizes have maybe been 'adjusted' but hey, I don't care, being a 12 is reward enough in itself.

Back home... more treats... a parcel of clothes I had ordered (rashly) from Toast catalogue. (Luckily there is not an Oatcake catalogue...) Anyway... had ordered a cute retro swimsuit in two sizes, 12 & 14. 12 fits & looks great! Yay!!! So a nice day in lots of ways (got very wet & cold though, chucking down) and definitely took my mind off yesterday's sadness.

Thanks everyone for the support yesterday, it meant a LOT.

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

PS... got a Salter digital scales from Boots, Sarette. This evening it has me at just over 11stone but will see how things are in the morning!

xxx

 

[Sarette]

Your Boots is better than mine then! No fair!!!! I'm looking forward to your weigh in result tomorrow then

A huge well done on the size 12 dress and cozzie! How nice to have matching undies too! I've never had any either! Until my tummy disappears, I am not likely to ever get them

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Sarette, my tummy is still here, alas, but then TOTM is looming again. I even have yukky c-section scars, but still, I feel so much better. You don't have to be perfect to have matching undies... you just have to value yourself. I don't think I ever really have before.

xxx

 

[Sarette]

Thanks darling I just worry they won't go high enough to not look stupid?? I'll certainly try some on and see, just in case xxx