Mich's Diary - Getting my life back on track but still away to go - back soon!!!

[Mich]

OK very quick post as hubby nipped to B&Q and he'll be a moaning if he gets back and I'm still sat here..... Men they just don't understand to they......LOL

Well I'm pleased to report that the scales although not gone down haven't gone up either.... I have a killer headache and am not starving so I'm hoping that this is a sign that ketosis is not far away......

I was quite proud of myself that when I got home last night I 'fessed up and didn't dive into the big bar of dairy milk that is open and in a draw.... I came on here, had some water, coloured another picture..... and went into the Arcade for a few games.....

Today I am back on the packs.....and determined....I have just been trying to explain to my mum my problems with food cos she said....it's a shame you can't loose the weight using conventional food....and then reminded me of my determination when I started way back when and how I said I wasn't ever ever going to put the weight back on I know she means well but it doesn't help.....she just doesn't understand....a slim 10stone size 12 I don't think she ever will.....

The mad thing about last night was before we left I put my clothes on and felt crap as they were all tight and I was ashamed to go cos I thought my family would be thinking look at the state of her.... yet I got there and still I ate?!! Didn't help that my dad said....'no diets tonight'!!! He's the one who has over the years shook his head in utter despair at my weight gain.....

Anyway, not gonna dwell on things....today IS a new day....I AM back on track and I WILL get to my goal weight in 2007

I have to take the boys to get the trainers I didn't get them yesterday and do a food shop - the cupboards are bare apart from chocolate....oh and I must finish that personal statement.....yeah I know, I know....LOL!!!!!

I will be back later on but can I just thank you all for your support.....it really does help to know people understand where I'm coming from.....

Have a good day and lots of love to all

 

[Eclipse]

Hey Mich

You haven't let anyone down! You are just human, like all the rest of us. It is so difficult to get back on again (I should know - been there so many times over the past 8 years or so). It must have been really difficult to resist after all the hard work your sister put into it, and with it being her first big bash so to speak. It is still the Christmas season, and I think after Christmas is the hardest because of all the family commitments and the leftovers etc hanging around.

You are now again in the right frame of mind to get back on with it. Think of the lovely summer days ahead (I know its hard when its so damp and dreary outside) but just like ourselves it will get lighter every day from now on.

Keep your chin up, and hold your head high.

 

[Isobel1965]

Hey Mich - I'm very impressed that you even thought about starting your diet before the VFBC!!!

My eyes are strictly focussed on Jan 8th!! Then I'll have no excuses - boo!

Really looking forward to seeing you next weekend, hun!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[cazmaz_irl]

Sorry girls got there and the temptation got the better of me My only saving grace was it was all mainly protien type stuff....chicken, beef, pork, but still not what I had intended...how I wish we hadn't gone....but....it's done....it was beautiful....she had made a real effort and it was her first time at entertaining the whole family....took her two days to prep and make everything....I didn't have the apple pie or the scrummy bread.......

So, let myself down big time

Hi Mich,

You did not let yourself down in any shape or form, as you said yourself you stuck mainly to the protein and that in my books is still remaining focussed on your goal. As you said yourself you sister went to a lot of bother, 2 whole days to prepare, to be honest you would have deeply hurt her feelings if you'd sat there not enjoying her hard work.

You held strong and didn't enjoy the desert or the bread and that shows willpower... believe me...

So yesterday was yesterday, today is today, only way is down the scales....

cheers Caz

 

[Mich]

Hi Mich,

Well done you on firstly a full day on ss ( i start 2nd jan counting back down through the steps )

Secondly ( and most importantly ) On your coping with the rugrats mine are driving me competely bluddy insane roll on term time lol !

Seriously though well done with you ssing so proud of ya know how hard it is dreading my restart in some ways but looking forward to not feeling like i am going to explode ! lol

Take care have fun luv Julie xxx

Hi Julie!

Some how missed replying to this post....so sorry

As you will read didn't quite managed 100% yesterday Back on it today though and feeling surprisingly strong....

Kids not too bad today either..... Just taking Charlie to town in a bit to get new school shoes and trainers...I'm going to see if I've still got the receipt for his pair I bought in September - they cost £36 and are already falling apart....I know boys are rough and tumble but I would have expected them to last longer and a term - In the grand scheme of things he only wears them 5 days a week for about 6 hours....gotta find that receipt first though...mmmm probably long long gone....LOL


I know how difficult it is to restart - I feel almost like the Queen of Restart...LOL!! But having felt what it's like to be slimmer - at my lowest last summer I was just under 13 stone....I now know that I want to me nearer that weight than 16.7 which is what I am....nothing fits....everything is tight.....

OK....i'm putting off going to town cos I know it's going to be busy and it's raining too.....yuck!!!

Love

 

[DQ]

I know that one - the people who say to you you need to lose weight are the ones who tend to say 'just one won't hurt'

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Hello my freind... hope the shopping was successful and you are home soon in the warm and dry.

As for summer skimpydom or skimpy summerdom.. whatever.. you will be back and below last summer's weight this year.

I think at times that those around us forget that this isn't a joke to us., nor a laughing matter.. sure, we can, at times., see the funny side of dieting.. but... I wonder... if we were addicted to alcohol would they jokingly hold pints of beer or bottles of voddy under our noses? My guess is (if they love us) that they would not.. but its ok to comment or be flippant about where we are on our weight loss journeys..

Gosh, sorry.. am clearly in a serious (ish) mood this afternoon.. loads of things whirling around this head of mine right now... might PM you about those later.. or might just sleep and hope they vanish!

What I'm trying to get at, and not making myself particularly clear., is that..you have worked wonders... you have the photographic evidence to prove it... you are continuing to be the amazingly fabulous person we know and love.. and.. on top of all that.. you are committed to following a food regime which is very strict.. What a woman!!

This time next week we will be chatting over a pint of the old H2O... I can't wait and I know we will have an excellent weekend.. so.. do what you can for now.. don't beat yourself up if you have a blip.. fight the good fight and you WILL be WAYYYYYY under that 13stone come summer time!!....

*singing to meself...
Summertime...
and the livin is easy...
Mich is smiling...
coz she's in a size 12....
we're all boppin'...
and the folks are all grinning..
coz Mich is more stunning than ever before.... ... ...

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Mich - you have done so well. Starting again isn't easy as we all know. So be kind to yourself.

 

[Mich]

Hi guys!

Well almost at the end of the day and it's going well I have had 3 litres of water and just having my second pack.....in fact I feel really really stuffed..... The headache hasn't arrived yet....I haven't looked for ketosis either...not yet anyway.....

Went shopping....just took Lucy in the end and got the boys their trainers......the weather here has been horrendous and we got soaked....took her to look in the pet shop at the bunnies - she absolutely loves bunnies - mind you so do I....hubby wont get one....thinks its cruel..... Might persuade him when she's a bit older.... Went to tesco to do a bit of a food shop.....bumped into my old LLC - she is so lovely...in some ways I really regret not staying with LL but at the time finances wouldn't allow.....however in the grand scheme of things if would have probably cost less than ive spent....oh well....I prefer the CD flavours but I think the group commaradarie was helpful to me....a friend did suggest going to WW each week but I'd feel a bit of a fraud to be honest.....going each week and loosing 'more than average' and having to 'tell fibs'. .... not me at all really.

Gonna have a quiet night in tonight...second part of Little Britain Abroad is on....always good for a laugh.....

Might pop back on later......

Love

 

[Mich]

Mich - you have done so well. Starting again isn't easy as we all know. So be kind to yourself.

Thanks Beverley.....I am not too bad today but I do know that re-starting is so hard.....makes me wonder why I ever broke it in the first place....

Hope your OK.

Love

 

[DQ]

Well done honey, you're doing great

 

[Mich]

Hello my freind... hope the shopping was successful and you are home soon in the warm and dry.

As for summer skimpydom or skimpy summerdom.. whatever.. you will be back and below last summer's weight this year.

I think at times that those around us forget that this isn't a joke to us., nor a laughing matter.. sure, we can, at times., see the funny side of dieting.. but... I wonder... if we were addicted to alcohol would they jokingly hold pints of beer or bottles of voddy under our noses? My guess is (if they love us) that they would not.. but its ok to comment or be flippant about where we are on our weight loss journeys..

Gosh, sorry.. am clearly in a serious (ish) mood this afternoon.. loads of things whirling around this head of mine right now... might PM you about those later.. or might just sleep and hope they vanish!

What I'm trying to get at, and not making myself particularly clear., is that..you have worked wonders... you have the photographic evidence to prove it... you are continuing to be the amazingly fabulous person we know and love.. and.. on top of all that.. you are committed to following a food regime which is very strict.. What a woman!!

This time next week we will be chatting over a pint of the old H2O... I can't wait and I know we will have an excellent weekend.. so.. do what you can for now.. don't beat yourself up if you have a blip.. fight the good fight and you WILL be WAYYYYYY under that 13stone come summer time!!....

*singing to meself...
Summertime...
and the livin is easy...
Mich is smiling...
coz she's in a size 12....
we're all boppin'...
and the folks are all grinning..
coz Mich is more stunning than ever before.... ... ...

Loving your work Jen......must be all that musical influence rubbbing off on you hun!!!!

Wasssssupp? PM or email me if your struggling with things in your head.....

I was rather surprised my dad made the 'no diets' comment as he is such a health conscious person....I do feel I've let them (my parents) down slightly......they were very warey of me doing a VLCD and have been my biggest supporters and I was so adament and positive that I would not regain the weight that I feel almost embarressed now.....I did make noises to this effect to my mum and she assures me that my dad hasn't said a word about my weight gain....she doesn't mention it only if I bring it up......I think as they are both fairly slim, eat healthily, and both have very strong self control they just don't 'get it' how I can be like I am.....ie someone who could eat a huge family bar of chocolate in one sitting

Anyway, I'm rambling......so gonna go down stairs as hubby moaning a bit

Speak soon.

Lots of love

PS - Can't guarantee I'll be on the pints of H20 next weekend but a good chat we will certainly have......

 

[Mich]

Hey Mich

You haven't let anyone down! You are just human, like all the rest of us. It is so difficult to get back on again (I should know - been there so many times over the past 8 years or so). It must have been really difficult to resist after all the hard work your sister put into it, and with it being her first big bash so to speak. It is still the Christmas season, and I think after Christmas is the hardest because of all the family commitments and the leftovers etc hanging around.

You are now again in the right frame of mind to get back on with it. Think of the lovely summer days ahead (I know its hard when its so damp and dreary outside) but just like ourselves it will get lighter every day from now on.

Keep your chin up, and hold your head high.

Hi Cheryl!

Thank you so much for your lovely post....you are right my sister had gone to so much trouble.....she is single, in her own first home and this was the first time she has entertained all of us as a family....she also decided to cook all the dishes we have done over the last 10 weeks of a cookery course we did.....doesn't do things by halves my sister!!!

I am back on course now today and feeling pretty strong....and rather stuffed too.....must be all the water...LOL!!!

I can't wait for the summer months....I remember last summer being so much happier and confident and wearing my smaller clothes.....I will be even smaller this summer.....can't wait

Love

 

[Mich]

Hey Mich - I'm very impressed that you even thought about starting your diet before the VFBC!!!

My eyes are strictly focussed on Jan 8th!! Then I'll have no excuses - boo!

Really looking forward to seeing you next weekend, hun!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Isobel...... it was a case of need's must and all else I'd have no clothes for next weekend.... I have put on since the weekend in Bath a stone.....FFS!!!!!! I thought if I start now when to be honest I haven't got any events going on (apart from a house full of chocolate etc) then if I loose half stone by next weekend and then put half stone back on it's no extra.....please tell me you understand my woman's logic...LOL

Come the 8th I will be absolutely, 100% definately back on track.....aiming for goal this time and determined to get there.....

I am looking forward to celebrating your birthday and your engagement too next weekend...what will we be doing this time next Saturday?........

My sister and I were laughing about it last night....I said what will we be doing this time next Friday and she said probably weeing in the Tyne and nobody will see us cos we will have our special beer goggles and coats on....LOL.... - she is that mad - honest

See you soon.

Lots of love

 

[Marylyn]

Hi Mich and Jennie

Well done Mich on your early resolve. Jennie, did you sole-source over Christmas?

If you did, very well done, because no one would expect that of you.

I'm glad to be back on my CD. Felt so bloated after Christmas dinner - it felt fine going down, but I could hardly move afterwards.

Enjoyed a double for breakfast walnut & toffee with banana. Absolutely del.

I'm not having any bars for at least a month, because they are so addictive.

Bearing in mind we're going to see each other in March at a WEmitt's do, let us look forward to 2007 to slimdom.

Regards & Happy New Year

Marylyn xxx

 

[boofaloo]

Hiya Mich.
Just caught up on your diary as i havent been around for a while.
Its nice to be back. A BIG Well done on the restart - keep going girl!!

I'm restarting tomorrow and know it's gonna be tough but I have just got the new next directory and all the summer clothes in there has given me the incentive to get cracking!!!

 

[westiegirl]

I was rather surprised my dad made the 'no diets' comment as he is such a health conscious person....I do feel I've let them (my parents) down slightly......they were very warey of me doing a VLCD and have been my biggest supporters and I was so adament and positive that I would not regain the weight that I feel almost embarressed now.....I did make noises to this effect to my mum and she assures me that my dad hasn't said a word about my weight gain....she doesn't mention it only if I bring it up......I think as they are both fairly slim, eat healthily, and both have very strong self control they just don't 'get it' how I can be like I am.....ie someone who could eat a huge family bar of chocolate in one sitting

Mich

What you said in this post has rung so true with me! Your parents are very like mine in that they have extreme self control around food. But I don't think it really is self control - it's just the way they are. They don't diet, they eat nice things, but just eat a little of what they fancy and are both very slim. When I had my "breakdown" a few weeks ago it was with my family and it all started because I was embarrassed about regaining some of the weight I had lost. They were so proud of me and like you, I felt I had let them down. But only by talking to them did I realise that they love me whatever. They don't care about my weight, they care about how I feel about it. If I'm unhappy with it and want to do something about it then they support me otherwise they accept me as I am. It's only in my head that they don't. The same goes for everyone else I know, they love me for me. It's me who doesn't love me! That's what I need to work on! I have had a frank chat with my mum and asked her if she would read the book I mentioned in my thread and when all the christmas madness is over she said she would. It might be worth you having a look. It's called Overcoming Overeating by Jane Hirschmann and Carol Munter. The approach is completely different to VLCDs as it wants you to get off the binge/dieting cycle but that is not why I suggest you look at it, afterall, I am a "successful" VLCDer, just not sucessful afterwards (which is because of other issues which I need to sort in my head). The reason I suggest you look at it is because of the first sections which put what I feel about my compulsive eating into words and says my thoughts in a way that I couldn't possibly express (the book was written for me after all!!! - at least it seems that way). This way you may be able to express yourself to your family in a way that they can understand and you can start to work through some of your issues?

Hope that this helps. Sometimes we all feel so alone with our "food issues". We think people don't understand, and people who don't have food issues tend not to. But I think most people on here DO understand, that's why we are here! If it was easy, we would all be successful dieters. People are just flippant when they say "just eat less". If only! People don't say the same to smokers or drug addicts do they? They accept that they may need help to overcome their addiction. I gave myself a break the other day when I realised that although my mum and dad don't have food issues they both smoke heavily. They have tried to give up on numerous occasions, unsuccessfully. They smoke for many more reasons than just addiction. When stressed, they smoke, I eat! Same problem - different drug!

Anyway, now I'm just rambling so I want to say something that people have said to me on numerous occasions on my thread - be kind to yourself!

Looking forward to next weekend. I'm there Friday and Saturday, so get ready to party!

Much love, Sarah x

 

[Mich]

Hi Sarah!


Thanks so much for your post.....it makes alot of sense....I will look into getting the book.....I've been thinking alot about getting some sort of book to help me.....do you reckon it's worth it? There seem to be so many out there....and I've always just thought....get the weight off and I'll be OK....not so... have put on 3 stone since my summer holiday...could kick myself but mustn't dwell on it....I guess it's all about learning new coping strategies .....something I haven't as yet.....in time I hope!!

Looking forward to meeting you next weekend.....my sister and I are arriving on Friday so will be up for two nights out....I will have to have a little break from SSing that weekend but come the 8th I'll be head down, blinkers on and SSing to goal......

Had a good day today and now off to bed.....

Thanks again Sarah

Lots of love

 

[cah-ching]

Hi Mich,

we're in the same boat. What Sarah has said makes pefrect sense. I remember telling my bezzie mate that I had a food addiction and about my 14-day (sometimes 4-week) benders (as i like to call them). He didn't understand how someone could be addicted to food. I though he of all people would understand, as he's so empathetic, but he just didn't, bless him. He still doesn't. As a result this is the only place I know I can post and be totally understood when it comes to my food issues. I know I have a problem - I just don;t know how to deal with the cravings and addiction when it presents itself. As stupid as it may sound, I did consider going to an Alcoholics Anonymous group about 18 months ago. My reasoning was that I'd find empathy there and anything I encountered I could tailor to my food addiction. What put me off was that I was worried the other attendees may have thought I was taking the preverbial 'yellow snow' - especially since food addiction is seen as just gluttony - which it is not.

Anyway I'm rambling and I'm supposed to be working on my career development plan.

Just wanted to pop by and say hello. (like your new signature btw)

 

[westiegirl]

No problem Mich. If u want I can bring the book for u to flick through and see if you think it's worth it. Please tell me if you don't want me too and u want to "forget about it" for the weekend!

I have a fetish for self help books. I buy them, read a couple of chapters and when the going gets tough and I have to get introspective I turn to food lol! This one is a bit light on psychological strategies but it's great as far as a non-diet plan is concerned and it's main focus is to not beat yourself up - ever! We will all slip but we keep on trucking and we are all worth it! Can't say if it will work but I know I need to address my head and not my body first - hell I'll give it a go!