Hey Moosh. Sorry to hear you're feeling low. Come over to MFP and chat if you can't find the right bits on Minis as some of us are there too. The subscribed threads is now under Quick Links at the top of the page. Took me a while to find that too! The stats should be back now - I can see yours.
So are you feeling physically ill and so can't stick to the diet, or are you making yourself ill with bad choices of food as you haven't stuck to the diet? If the former then you need to get better before you get back on track I think and choose healthy protein based foods to help you with that. If the latter then perhaps you can low carb for a few days before trying to get back on plan? You're no doubt hungry because you have kicked yourself out of ketosis and trying to restrict your calories over and over if you're not in ketosis is like every day starting out on this diet and the effects that some people have before ketosis kicks in and makes everything easier.
Definitely sounds like you need to lose the bars as they seem to be a massive demon for you. Either take them to work and leave them there and try to have 1 per day, or get rid of them if you don't have too many left. I don't think they're doing you any good either mentally or physically. I bought a load of BL snack bars and actually wish I hadn't now as they are something I just have now rather than using them for the odd weekend treat which is what they were meant for.
Draw a line under today and tomorrow get to the shops and buy some healthy protein and plan that into your day. Only enough for tomorrow so you can't binge, and then buy some more on Monday and so on. You really won't do yourself any favours continuing as you are.
Thanks BG, all good advice that a week ago I would have given too but I just don't know what to do with myself!
I think i was feeling ill so I ate, and once I ate I felt even worse and am now at the point where I can't do anything. I think the tipping point was using MFP, I decided to log EVERYTHING as in averything that went in my mouth, including gum. Turns out each piece of sugarfree gum and every tiny little Smint I've been having since day 1 to get me through each day is at least 1g carb. So pretty much every day since week 2 I've been over my carb limit without knowing and that has depressed me so much. And well once I'm over I may as well be REALLY over, that's how my stupid head works so since Weds I've been binging.
Ok so.... all the Atkins bars I received this week are gone. I got about 15 in the order so that tells you how bad I've been. Most of the BL bars are gone, I haven't bought Ultraslim in ages as they went up in price (still a lot cheaper than BL or Atkins but my stupid head tells me they are too dear as I used to get them on offer, aargh shopping demons). Leaving bars at work sadly doesn't help as I binge there too! Seriously on Friday I had 2 little boxes of raisins, 2 biscuits, a chewy oat bar intended for baby and 2 little bowls of bolognaise I had made (no pasta). THEN I came home and binged, had 30 mins at home before heading out in a taxi to babysit for a new family so was nervous so I just crammed in as much as I could eat, about 5 bars, then went.... and realised I had a vanilla shake in my bag so I had that while I was there! I didn't eat anything else there though I did have 4 packs of gum in an attempt to not go in their fridge- I chew each piece for a minute then spit it out, thats how much I need to chew. I need the flavour.
I think my taste buds have changed, today I tried the new Chilli for the first time and it was like eating.... I dunno, red porrige? No flavour to it at all. I don't know if it's the pack itself or the fact that I've been eating so much sweet over the past few weeks! Seriously I so rarely log a savoury meal on MFP, apart from veg and protein.
I've tried days without any non-S&S drinks and days with coke zero/flavoured water/tea/boullion and noticed no differences. I realised one day this week I had had 7l of coke zero plus lots of water too, and it was a binge day, but then I stopped having ANY and still binged so I don't know if it's a trigger! I could really do with some today but I'm not going out, I go to a shop today I will come back with the things I want the most- Boost bars, liquorice allsorts and pork pies. They are all I want in the world, possible cocopops and semi skimmed if cocopops are on offer. And that is all i would eat for the rest of the week.
So no shops today, no even going out. I'd quite like to go and check my post but I daren't venture out of the flat at 6pm on a saturday in my jammies! So will wait.
I think going tomorrow to stock up on high protein foods may be a good idea, will see 1. if I remain 100% today which will give me a boost and 2. how I feel tomorrow. I've been spending like mad on new clothes and face stuff in an attempt to be a 'new me' and I'm scaring myself with the money going out. I'm not destitute or anything but I am a very careful person with money, saving for a flat, and to spend about £600 or something stupid on clothes and skincare over the past couple of months is terrible. Ok maybe not that much but I do know I spent £200 in Primark recently justt o have something to wear, £15 on a dress for the funeral, £20 on trousers, £18 on a Next top, £45 on new bras! Plus all the jeans I bought in each size down. I even have some to get into next size down, I look at all the clothes I can no longer wear and weep I spent so much on 'big' clothes as there are so few options in a 26 I end up in evans and they are bloody dear. I wear them till they fall to bits but still what a waste. And I won't be ebaying as I know I will end up that size again, once I re-feed (or give up and binge) there is no point getting rid.
I've upped my carb goal to 70g a day on MFP from 60g just so I can have 4 packs with some veg without it going over which makes me weep. I'm pathetic, I spend ages each day entering foods just to see what I can 'get away with'. Like if I have 7 slices of pastrami I can have 80g of cabbage, but if I have 6 I can have half an egg too how pathetic. Particularly as I know if I don't have the entire pack I'll eat the random slice or two later so it's all for nothing. My mind would like to go back to week one or two when I was on 4 packs, 200g veg from the original list, and had never heard of MFP so didn't feel guilty over every cup of boullion or having a BL bar instead of a S&S.
Oh gods I talk too much, though it is helpful to write this all out. Since I wrote the other post I've put a wash on and had 2 cups of tea. I just hope I can get over this gastric.... distress.... before monday because I don't think I can cope at work with it, not on Easter hols so all the kids at home PLUS I know my boss, there will be extras and I bet she works at home again which involves her sitting in the middle of the kitchen/playroom on her laptop taking work calls while I have to keep the kids quiet I HATE IT I can't even cook in peace as she works on the large island unit where you have to cook- has the hob on it too- and tuts and moves things when I need to cook! AAAARGH sometimes I hate my job.
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