Hmm, I might get shot for saying this but here goes anyway!!
I read on this forum all the time, on peoples weight loss goals usually, when I get to xx stone = me being happy.
I don't believe myself that happiness translate into a number on the scales, I think that would make me a very shallow person indeed.
There was someone on TV, I think maybe she was in casualty and she was very big, she said after losing an awful lot of weight that she wasn't instantly happy and that it was a big surprise to her, she got some counselling to work out her issues.
I believe it was unhappiness that made me fat, not that being fat made me unhappy, unless the underlying issues are resolved it's unlikely to result in long term success. After losing my big weight, I maintained for over 5 years, I moved on with my life and got rid of a lot of the situations that were making me unhappy, I know I'll never be 24st again, I'm not that person any more.
For me you have to work through what went wrong that made you stop caring about yourself. Or maybe even work out what is what that changed and why the self esteem is so low. Then you can begin to sort it out.
As Tony Robbins says, decide what you want to do, make a plan, take action and if it doesn't work REASSESS!!! Don't flog yourself to death with old goals or methods that used to work or things that used to make you happy, you've changed now, your perspective and experience is altered and you have to take time to discover the new you!
Oh dear, I've written another book!!
Have a great day xxxxxxxxx