O/T: Mixed signals.... how do I read them?!

Discussion in 'CD Off Topic' started by Caz, 5 November 2009 Social URL.

  1. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Man I'm confused!!

    I went to see a friend for a few days last week. We'd been very friendly and a little flirty before hand, so I wasn't really sure how things were going to go, but I do like him. Problem is I got such mixed signals I don't really know whether he likes me or not, just wondering what your opinions are.

    I should probably say here that we met online, and this weekend was the first time I'd actually met him. It really isn't something I'd normally do, at all, so I'm a bit surprised I have really. Anyway, it did mean that I was a bit nervous beforehand. He's on my facebook and stuff, so he's seen photos of me and knows what I look like, but part of me still thought that he probably didn't realise that I was fat, not just slightly chubby, and that he'd be disappointed.

    Ok so I get there Saturday afternoon and we chill and hang out stuff. After dinner we're chilling in his room watching a movie lying on his bed. He was slowly moving closer towards me, and his hand edged closer til it was resting on my knee, then on my leg. And he was kind of stroking my arm as it rested across him.

    He had to then go to work, when he got back in the early hours of the morning he got into bed and cuddled up behind me.

    So all of that suggests that he likes me yeah?

    Well, then Sunday after waking up, things weren't then like that. We'd lay on the bed watching a movie or whatever, and he'd be next to me, his leg against me or something, but not being so touchy feely anymore. That night there wasn't really cuddling in bed, but then he started going to sleep before me as he'd worked the night before and hadn't had much sleep.

    Then Monday, we watched some stuff in his room again, but he stayed sat in his desk chair. Though he'd been at the computer checking email and stuff, so might have just stayed there rather than chosen to specifically not get on the bed. Do I take that as a sign that he doesn't like me? I just don't know! See how the signs got less and less clear as the weekend went on. I just don't know what to think anymore.

    But then when I was checking train times to go home he told me to look at prices for in a couple of weeks to see if it's cheap to book in advance. He's got time off from work in a couple of weeks, and so said about coming to see me. And then when we were at the train station before my train arrived he said about coming to see me.

    In texts since he's said stuff about that we'll have to hang out again, and a few times said that he was glad that I came.

    And he asked about why I'd been a bit nervous before and I said that he might not have liked me, his family might not of liked me, to which he responded 'well you are very cool, so all good in the hood'.

    He'd bought me flowers for when I got there, which I forgot. And he text me telling me I forgot them but said that he'll get me some more next time.

    So can you guys see how it's really confusing?! I just don't know how to read it all or whether he likes me. But I can't ask him, I really can't!
     
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  3. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly Silver Member

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    Yes - I'd be confused. Just play it by ear now. How about asking him to visit you as well. I hope all goes well for you - take care.
     
  4. emmie2726

    emmie2726 Yummy mummy wannabe!

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    I wonder if he cooled off because he was hoping for something that he didnt get ;)? But then he does seem intersted still because of the train enquiry, texts etc. Just see how it goes, definately agree with Drangonfly, get him to visit you next so that your in your own territory as it were next time. xx
     
  5. Zoe.D

    Zoe.D loving life

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    Sounds like he definately likes you but maybe he thought he was coming on a bit strong and not the way you wanted him to if you didn't respond in the way he was thinking you may if you get my drift so he backed off a bit so not to make you feel uncomfortable. He wouldn't have said all the other stuff after if he wasn't interested and as they say above get him to visit you next time and take it from there. Good luck.
     
  6. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Before he said about how he wasn't expecting anything, so I don't know if it was that. Who knows.

    He's already said he wants to come see me in a couple of weeks, so I guess we'll see then won't we.

    It's all just so confusing. I wish it was all so much more simple!
     
  7. Mrs Taurus

    Mrs Taurus Silver Member

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    Hi Caroline, men are from venus and women are from Mars and they just don't think like us so it is hard to guess what they are thinking.
    If it helps Mr T used to give out very mixed signals,it used to do my head in, I was just really patient and slowly I caught my monkey. Its now hard to believe that I was so patient with him! x
     
  8. misspinkkat

    misspinkkat Can hug her knees :)

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    maybe he was thinking you wasnt interested? that might make him less touchy feely? hmmm I dont know xx
     
  9. lunar jim

    lunar jim Gold Member

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    Bah, what goes on in a woman's head is a complete mystery to us men too!
     
  10. onlyme!

    onlyme! is a naughty girl...

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    Men are worse! oh so much worse.
     
  11. lunar jim

    lunar jim Gold Member

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    Nah men are easy; the four 'F's: fight it, flee it, feast it or f**k it... :D
     
  12. onlyme!

    onlyme! is a naughty girl...

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    I like the logic there, I have to say! :D
     
  13. Blingbabe

    Blingbabe Back On Track!

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    Hi Caroline

    I would be as confused as you, sorry, no help here at all!

    But I hope that you enjoy spending more time together and hopefully you will soon be able to work out what is happening.

    Best wishes x
     
  14. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Jim you're no help! I hoped you might shed some light on the male psyche... seems there's no light to shed!
     
  15. lunar jim

    lunar jim Gold Member

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    Sorry, none whatsoever; we're simple creatures really, shaved apes at best...

    What's his personality like generally? Extrovert, cool, withdrawn etc.? Maybe he has misread *your* signals and was worried about coming on too strong? Or possibly (and I've been guilty of this in the past) was waiting for *you* to make a move :D
     
  16. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Umm I don't know, is hard to tell. I think he's a mixture of confident and shy. Has said that he finds it hard to read girls signals though and never knows whether they like him. But I would have thought my arm over him and stuff would have made it obvious!
     
  17. emmapetty

    emmapetty Going for Goal!

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    Hi Caro, I've got to agree with lunarjim on this one! I wouldn't be married to my DHB today if it wasn't for me making the first move. And that's with everything, from a kiss to (well you know the rest!) Maybe you should take the plunge - what have you got to loose? If he rejects you, then bugger it - plenty more fish in the sea. Hugs x x x
     
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  19. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    I haven't got the confidence for first moves!
     
  20. DoRy

    DoRy Member

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    Hi, I'm new just giving my 2 cents worth.

    Guys like a little chase. Act like you are not so keen anymore. Disappear without the appearance of doing so. If he really likes you he will do the necessary. I know its hard but it takes self control (just like our diet). The efforts would pay off. :)

    Don't believe in so much of what he says. Action speaks louder than words. Hope this helps.
     
  21. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Actions speak louder than words... exactly. That's my concern with what he's doing isn't lining up with what he was saying. Not towards the end anyway.
     
  22. LV30

    LV30 Gold Member

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    maybe he's shy - maybe he didn't progress because you may not have been repsonding... what was stopping you from being a little more touchy in the morning? Maybe he wasn't because you weren't?

    And to be honest, i know you've known him for a while "online" but you've only just met... maybe he didn't want to rush things as he didn't want you to get the wrong impression of him...

    i hope i'm making sense...

    next time, and there will be a next time, be a little more responsive... maybe... come on, don't play the shy card, you were in the same bed as him!!

    good luck and have fun!! lol

    Lx
     
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