Rachie B's Fighting Diary
- Thread starter RachieB
- Start date
dawndesperatetoloose!
Full Member
HI Katt, glad to see you back posting! Still got another week on hols then back for another month pre xmas. Hope you doing well, looking at your losses - super douper!
Well I thought I would re-ignite the weight loss diary flame.
I start back on exante on Saturday. However, this time I am more relaxed and don't feel the need to un-hinge my mouth and eat lots of delicious food. I don't feel that I am never going to eat this food again and therefore I have capped my time in 100% TS for 12 weeks. After that I will have decided to either carry on because my weight loss hasn't been enough or slowly withdraw from the programme over a period of a month.
Also this time I intend to exercise; not sufficient amounts to make look like a red sweaty dying swan but enough to pevent any muscle wastage and to keep my metabolic rate tick along nicely.
However, I am worried about the hunger pangs, being tired and lightheaded, which, are all the symptoms I have had before when doing LL but less with my attempts on exante.
I feel like I am writing this diary like I did when I was a teenager and being honest and open. I dont expect anyone to read it or find it remotely interesting, but I does help me to feel like I am not on my own and if by reading other peoples diaries and for others to comment on mine then I would be extremely happy.
The start of exante always feels as though I need a hand to hold and each step is a major achievement. Even now before I start I reach out and hope someone is there who is able to say to me 'it's okay and all is well for today'. I have battled with my weight since I was a teenager and I don't have the children to explain my weight yo-yoing. I eat too much and then too little. For my height I never ate enough which sounds odd, but it caused an unknown relationship with food and at the ripe old age of nearly 37, I am still struggling. Therefore, this time has to be the last time that I find myself struggling. During this stage I want to examine why I put on weight, feel the need to eat after a bad day rather than look after myself and go to bed and rest.
I have a dream of a flat stomach, toned legs and wearing a white hot bikini and cowboy hat in Ibiza in 2015 when I am 40!!!! My partner is on the same journey and dreams for himself, but has comfortably said that for him he doesn't have vision of him in a hot white bikini, strange that!! Lol!!!!! However even with my partner by my side, I do look forward to reading posts and to feel the comfort of numbers.
I hope you are all well
To use an excellent phrase 'onwards and downwards'
Xxx
I start back on exante on Saturday. However, this time I am more relaxed and don't feel the need to un-hinge my mouth and eat lots of delicious food. I don't feel that I am never going to eat this food again and therefore I have capped my time in 100% TS for 12 weeks. After that I will have decided to either carry on because my weight loss hasn't been enough or slowly withdraw from the programme over a period of a month.
Also this time I intend to exercise; not sufficient amounts to make look like a red sweaty dying swan but enough to pevent any muscle wastage and to keep my metabolic rate tick along nicely.
However, I am worried about the hunger pangs, being tired and lightheaded, which, are all the symptoms I have had before when doing LL but less with my attempts on exante.
I feel like I am writing this diary like I did when I was a teenager and being honest and open. I dont expect anyone to read it or find it remotely interesting, but I does help me to feel like I am not on my own and if by reading other peoples diaries and for others to comment on mine then I would be extremely happy.
The start of exante always feels as though I need a hand to hold and each step is a major achievement. Even now before I start I reach out and hope someone is there who is able to say to me 'it's okay and all is well for today'. I have battled with my weight since I was a teenager and I don't have the children to explain my weight yo-yoing. I eat too much and then too little. For my height I never ate enough which sounds odd, but it caused an unknown relationship with food and at the ripe old age of nearly 37, I am still struggling. Therefore, this time has to be the last time that I find myself struggling. During this stage I want to examine why I put on weight, feel the need to eat after a bad day rather than look after myself and go to bed and rest.
I have a dream of a flat stomach, toned legs and wearing a white hot bikini and cowboy hat in Ibiza in 2015 when I am 40!!!! My partner is on the same journey and dreams for himself, but has comfortably said that for him he doesn't have vision of him in a hot white bikini, strange that!! Lol!!!!! However even with my partner by my side, I do look forward to reading posts and to feel the comfort of numbers.
I hope you are all well
To use an excellent phrase 'onwards and downwards'
Xxx
Well so much for my plans of low carbing today. I had planned for low carb food but my OH had other ideas and had a delicious dinner instead so can't complain. We are both excited at the thought of the amount of weight loss but I am scared too the side effects, including hunger, headaches etc..
If anyone can help with tips then please free to post.
I am so looking forward to being slimmer and maybe not the biggest person in the room. However, the temptation to eat all the foods I won't have for the next 12 weeks is extremely strong but I suppose it will make the transition into ketosis even harder. Has anyone had difficulty getting ketosis or don't people bother with those?
Hope you are all ok
Xxx
If anyone can help with tips then please free to post.
I am so looking forward to being slimmer and maybe not the biggest person in the room. However, the temptation to eat all the foods I won't have for the next 12 weeks is extremely strong but I suppose it will make the transition into ketosis even harder. Has anyone had difficulty getting ketosis or don't people bother with those?
Hope you are all ok
Xxx
huwiesmummy
Gold Member
Ketosis isn't to hard to get into its just a matter of distracting yourself from food. I tend to clean a lot organize those closets that have been neglected for years. I find coke zero helps a lot those first days as it feels as if you are treating yourself. Try not to snack as it leads to more snacking. If you have no other choice stick to low fat meat only. Good luck.
Thank you guys for the tips
I had my last meal with my partner tonight. Not romantic or anything just nice and pleasant. As we were eating we were discussing why we eat the way we do and what are our triggers. I think mine is being too tired and not resting; I would always tell others to rest but I can't seem to tell myself with the same kindness and understanding.
Anyway, my weigh in is tomorrow which I am not looking forward to as I last weighed myself before Christmas last year eck!!!!!!!
Packs and powder drinks are here already to go, I've just got to stock up on the coke zero etc.. I hope I can manage this as I am away working for 3 days next week; keep thinking Ibiza Ibiza Ibiza!!! Oh and a fab dress for Christmas with killer heels
Hope you are all doing well today
Xxx
I had my last meal with my partner tonight. Not romantic or anything just nice and pleasant. As we were eating we were discussing why we eat the way we do and what are our triggers. I think mine is being too tired and not resting; I would always tell others to rest but I can't seem to tell myself with the same kindness and understanding.
Anyway, my weigh in is tomorrow which I am not looking forward to as I last weighed myself before Christmas last year eck!!!!!!!
Packs and powder drinks are here already to go, I've just got to stock up on the coke zero etc.. I hope I can manage this as I am away working for 3 days next week; keep thinking Ibiza Ibiza Ibiza!!! Oh and a fab dress for Christmas with killer heels
Hope you are all doing well today
Xxx
Well today didn't go as planned as I began to feel quite ill. I have used today as my detox day with meat and extra packs. Tomorrow will be the same so I am hoping to feel better on Monday when Day 1 fully kicks in.
I weighed myself for the first time since Dec last year and I was shocked. I had not put on as much as I thought so the baby elephant that I thought would creep onto the scales with me was pleasantly absent. However, the weighing messed with my head; I've been calorie counting and exercising for the last month and I have lost nearly a stone, therefore, why do I need exante? I was by mid day ready to jack all this in and just stick to the calorie counting and exercising, but I have a goal; to be able to run without discomfort or pain in my knees. My body is telling it is fit enough to run but the weight is giving my knee some jip. Therefore, my conclusion is to stay on the plan for 12 weeks and lose the bulk of my weight and then slowly come off it but increase my exercise, so I have planned to work backwards. I've planned what to do when I come off the plan and roughly how long it will take to re-introduce food.
To be honest I don't want to do this plan but it is my only hope. It was me who put the excess food in my mouth, it was me who told me that I was useless and dont deserve a happy life and it is me who lives her life in a fat suit also used as armour. Now I am writing this to myself and say enough is enough. I want to wear gorgeous clothes and feel good about myself, to have photographs of me with my family and friends without me leggin it to the near dark hole. I want to be able to eat what I like and take responsibility for it and exercise it off.
I have been tired irritable and sad today at the thought of following this plan; my only solace is that I am going to rock and roll at Christmas and wear my high heels comfortably, even being 6 foot tall.
I hope you are all well?
Xx
I weighed myself for the first time since Dec last year and I was shocked. I had not put on as much as I thought so the baby elephant that I thought would creep onto the scales with me was pleasantly absent. However, the weighing messed with my head; I've been calorie counting and exercising for the last month and I have lost nearly a stone, therefore, why do I need exante? I was by mid day ready to jack all this in and just stick to the calorie counting and exercising, but I have a goal; to be able to run without discomfort or pain in my knees. My body is telling it is fit enough to run but the weight is giving my knee some jip. Therefore, my conclusion is to stay on the plan for 12 weeks and lose the bulk of my weight and then slowly come off it but increase my exercise, so I have planned to work backwards. I've planned what to do when I come off the plan and roughly how long it will take to re-introduce food.
To be honest I don't want to do this plan but it is my only hope. It was me who put the excess food in my mouth, it was me who told me that I was useless and dont deserve a happy life and it is me who lives her life in a fat suit also used as armour. Now I am writing this to myself and say enough is enough. I want to wear gorgeous clothes and feel good about myself, to have photographs of me with my family and friends without me leggin it to the near dark hole. I want to be able to eat what I like and take responsibility for it and exercise it off.
I have been tired irritable and sad today at the thought of following this plan; my only solace is that I am going to rock and roll at Christmas and wear my high heels comfortably, even being 6 foot tall.
I hope you are all well?
Xx
Hi All,
I am currently feeling cr*p to be honest. The diet is the problem; my back has given way and i am in a lot of pain. There isn' much I can do apart from watch TV, surf this amazing site and to keep thinking positive that I am going to reach my target and be slim and gorgeous.
With the pain and discomfort I just want food; chocolate mainly which is my comfort food. I have had a warm chocolate shake but I am struggling big time at the moment. I keep thinking that by the end of next week I will be in the 15 stone zone and that it fabulous, but for today I could gnaw my hand of it was covered in chocolate!!!!!!
Hope there are people out there who are having a better day and can offer a crumb of inspiration
Happy Monday everyone xx
I am currently feeling cr*p to be honest. The diet is the problem; my back has given way and i am in a lot of pain. There isn' much I can do apart from watch TV, surf this amazing site and to keep thinking positive that I am going to reach my target and be slim and gorgeous.
With the pain and discomfort I just want food; chocolate mainly which is my comfort food. I have had a warm chocolate shake but I am struggling big time at the moment. I keep thinking that by the end of next week I will be in the 15 stone zone and that it fabulous, but for today I could gnaw my hand of it was covered in chocolate!!!!!!
Hope there are people out there who are having a better day and can offer a crumb of inspiration
Happy Monday everyone xx
Madoody
Full Member
You just have to keep your head down,see it like work you have to keep at to get it done. Keep chiselling away, hour by hour you get closer to the 'zone'.When I get resentful I tend to turn it on myself - this is the price I have to pay for my actions. and think, within a week you could have taken 8/9lbs off the load your back has to carry- not an insignificant amount!
Believe you can do it xx
Believe you can do it xx
Thanks Madoody
You are absolutely right as theer is no point in me eating my body weight in food, as it won't take the pain away. I dread to think what state I would be in if I hadn't lose some weight before now!!!!!
Went to the Physio today and I have 3 prolapsed discs ;(. He says that after his session I would experience pain as after the manipulation the swelling fills the gap left by the disc. I am not kidding I was in agony about 3 hours ago but with rest and obeying the rules I do feel a little stronger. Bring on being slim and fit with amazing core strength so I neve have to go through this again grrrr.... At least with this calorie deficit there is no chance me putting weight!!! I think I am going to ask my OH to get out my slim clothes for inspiration and then press on as you said Madoody.
Nothing to add apart from pain pain and more pain apart rom being inspired by all of you
Xxx
You are absolutely right as theer is no point in me eating my body weight in food, as it won't take the pain away. I dread to think what state I would be in if I hadn't lose some weight before now!!!!!
Went to the Physio today and I have 3 prolapsed discs ;(. He says that after his session I would experience pain as after the manipulation the swelling fills the gap left by the disc. I am not kidding I was in agony about 3 hours ago but with rest and obeying the rules I do feel a little stronger. Bring on being slim and fit with amazing core strength so I neve have to go through this again grrrr.... At least with this calorie deficit there is no chance me putting weight!!! I think I am going to ask my OH to get out my slim clothes for inspiration and then press on as you said Madoody.
Nothing to add apart from pain pain and more pain apart rom being inspired by all of you
Xxx
Madoody
Full Member
The first time I did this I was suffering chronic lower back pain after a condition called spd in pregnancy - where the ligament holding your pelvis together slackens off too much (and in me it remained). The physio saw me from the beginning of cambridge to when I was almost at goal and she said that although my exercises for my core muscles had helped, she couldn't praise my weightloss enough for getting rid of my pain.My pain stemmed from poor core muscles and she said pelvic floor muscles in particular are put under enormous stress by being overweight, and just the act of losing that weight you in effect give them the opportunity to do their job of stabilising your pelvis and lower back properly. I guess it is harder to strengthen something that is already working under stress.
I used to be in denial about how weight affected my body, it was just chance that my knee's hurt or my back -lol, I was kidding myself big time!Maybe that has stopped me getting as big as I was then again (small mercy) as I recognise it when it is starting to impact on my life physically.
You are doing great!
I used to be in denial about how weight affected my body, it was just chance that my knee's hurt or my back -lol, I was kidding myself big time!Maybe that has stopped me getting as big as I was then again (small mercy) as I recognise it when it is starting to impact on my life physically.
You are doing great!
Well the pain today is horrific!!! There's no way I can be brave about this. I don't usually wimp out like this but boy does it hurt. My head is telling me to eat and devour the entire contents of the food cupboard which to think about is not full of delicious food, just food.
I have to eat with my pills so I am breaking a bar down and eating that with the pills to stop them rotting my stomach (nice!!!!!). Anyway I am really trying not to make this the diary of the wimpy kid, but I am battling with my thoughts and deep need to comfort whilst stuck in bed.
Saying all this I do believe I am getting into ketosis as I went cold yesterday evening and my appetite isn't as ragging. A nice cuppa has done the trick. watching DVDs and filling out a job application form, so I have bits to do. Just hoping I am doing the right thing to prevent the prospect of surgery yikes!!!!
Any websites I can look at for inspiration and motivation???
Hope you are all well today xxx
I have to eat with my pills so I am breaking a bar down and eating that with the pills to stop them rotting my stomach (nice!!!!!). Anyway I am really trying not to make this the diary of the wimpy kid, but I am battling with my thoughts and deep need to comfort whilst stuck in bed.
Saying all this I do believe I am getting into ketosis as I went cold yesterday evening and my appetite isn't as ragging. A nice cuppa has done the trick. watching DVDs and filling out a job application form, so I have bits to do. Just hoping I am doing the right thing to prevent the prospect of surgery yikes!!!!
Any websites I can look at for inspiration and motivation???
Hope you are all well today xxx
Dear Diary,
Sorry Ive not been on here for a few days but I have been in a lot of pain and it's been difficult to find a comfortable sitting position.
I have come off the diet yesterday and today because my stomach has been upset with all the pills I have been taking. I am slowly coming off them now and I plan to get back to the plan on the weekend. I am hoping that with the reduction in the intake of tablets that my stomach settles down. I do believe that my aliment has happened for a reason; to make me slow down and to re-evaluate my life with the annoying isms I seem to have collected along the way.
On the drive back from my work this morning (HR stuff) I realised that I think more of what people think that what I think. For examople, what must you all think when we are really positive here and I come along and go 'boo-boo I have come off plan!!' Do you
a) think what a failure and get off this site
b) don't care because there are more things happening in your life
c) get off your pity pot or as I say to myself 'get off the cross, we need the wood!!'
Personally I am think I am being too self centred and indulgent to think that people would think anything. i give myself a hard time and therefore work that bit too much, almost to prove myself. Maybe it is nothing to do with the food I eat but with the life style I lead or think I should. Therefore, if I move at a slow pace and enjoy each step rather than rush to the next thing, the I would be compelled to eat too much in the vain understanding that it will give me more energy. Note to self, slow down enjoy and eat less and when tired then nap!!
Hope you are all having a fab day?? xx
Sorry Ive not been on here for a few days but I have been in a lot of pain and it's been difficult to find a comfortable sitting position.
I have come off the diet yesterday and today because my stomach has been upset with all the pills I have been taking. I am slowly coming off them now and I plan to get back to the plan on the weekend. I am hoping that with the reduction in the intake of tablets that my stomach settles down. I do believe that my aliment has happened for a reason; to make me slow down and to re-evaluate my life with the annoying isms I seem to have collected along the way.
On the drive back from my work this morning (HR stuff) I realised that I think more of what people think that what I think. For examople, what must you all think when we are really positive here and I come along and go 'boo-boo I have come off plan!!' Do you
a) think what a failure and get off this site
b) don't care because there are more things happening in your life
c) get off your pity pot or as I say to myself 'get off the cross, we need the wood!!'
Personally I am think I am being too self centred and indulgent to think that people would think anything. i give myself a hard time and therefore work that bit too much, almost to prove myself. Maybe it is nothing to do with the food I eat but with the life style I lead or think I should. Therefore, if I move at a slow pace and enjoy each step rather than rush to the next thing, the I would be compelled to eat too much in the vain understanding that it will give me more energy. Note to self, slow down enjoy and eat less and when tired then nap!!
Hope you are all having a fab day?? xx
I have not been on this site for a few days as the pain still hasn't receded and I have difficulty moving about. Anyway, the pills have been reduced and therefore I am having a phased return to the plan. It's strange that I can eat gallons for crappy food but when it comes to protein and exante my appetite is reduced.
Over the past few days I have been reading success stories and struggles and I keep thinking about the time I lost all my weight on LL; feeling rubbish on but the results were amazing. I just now have to get my mind in the right place to start. I recall that the start up is the hardest part. I think I also need the benefit of the routine to keep my mind focused.
Hope you all have had a good weekend so far?
xx
Over the past few days I have been reading success stories and struggles and I keep thinking about the time I lost all my weight on LL; feeling rubbish on but the results were amazing. I just now have to get my mind in the right place to start. I recall that the start up is the hardest part. I think I also need the benefit of the routine to keep my mind focused.
Hope you all have had a good weekend so far?
xx
Madoody
Full Member
Really sorry to hear you are still in so much pain. First week and a half are hellish - first few days physically, the rest mentally. But you just have to use steely determination to get through the other side and then it is mostly easy as long as you stick to it.
I think you are right to wait until you are ready, until you are you will set yourself up to fail.
Best of luck xx
I think you are right to wait until you are ready, until you are you will set yourself up to fail.
Best of luck xx
Hi ya Madoody
I totally agree. his week I am away in a hotel for 3 nights so that I can get to bed as soon as possible, without the temptation of food. Also, I ill have plenty to think about due to catching up on my workload from last week. I need to take it easy and get into the zone by the weekend so that I am not tempted. I am armed this week with bouillon, water flavours and sodas. I am having food today but not much as I desperately want to shift 2 stone by Christmas and maybe an additional 1/2 stone. Once at that point I shall be half way there and already focused in time for christmas. I have spent a lot of time this week planning what to do over the Christmas period and how to eventually come off plan at the end.
The hardest bit is getting on the Exante wagon, so this time next week, I shall be tired but feeling fab after my first weigh in on Saturday.
How are you getting on? What week are you?
xx
I totally agree. his week I am away in a hotel for 3 nights so that I can get to bed as soon as possible, without the temptation of food. Also, I ill have plenty to think about due to catching up on my workload from last week. I need to take it easy and get into the zone by the weekend so that I am not tempted. I am armed this week with bouillon, water flavours and sodas. I am having food today but not much as I desperately want to shift 2 stone by Christmas and maybe an additional 1/2 stone. Once at that point I shall be half way there and already focused in time for christmas. I have spent a lot of time this week planning what to do over the Christmas period and how to eventually come off plan at the end.
The hardest bit is getting on the Exante wagon, so this time next week, I shall be tired but feeling fab after my first weigh in on Saturday.
How are you getting on? What week are you?
xx
